topic Re: How to answer this question--- in Among Friends

How to answer this question---

wagirl — Sun, 08 Dec 2024 14:41:43 GMT

My 45 year old son, yesterday, asked me what I wanted for Xmas this year---and I honestly couldn't think of one thing to tell him so I told him--nothing. And that is completely true--I don't need a thing. But it made me stop an think----- In this day and age, when I want something--I get it. Already bought myself my to-me from-me xmas gift----what would you have said? I think the thing I appreciated was that he actually asked.

Re: How to answer this question---

PinkyPetunia — Sun, 08 Dec 2024 14:47:27 GMT

My response is take me out to lunch (or dinner) so we can spend some time together. That's the best gift for me.

My son is 44 and was sending me flowers, chocolates, etc. for my birthday & Mother's day. I told him I appreciate the thought, but a meal out with him, DIL & grands is the best!

Re: How to answer this question---

Dusty1 — Sun, 08 Dec 2024 14:48:56 GMT

@wagirl It's true. Amazon & online ordering has made it very easy.

And I am too dang picky!

I usually tell them something easy like a selection of teas or a nice mug for my tea.

Something that is nice but not too expensive or too hard to find.

Re: How to answer this question---

Carmie — Sun, 08 Dec 2024 14:51:32 GMT

I am in the same boat. I don't want or need anything. I tell my kids not to get me anything. Most of the time, they don't, but sometimes I might get a bag of macadamia nuts or chocolate or some other food item. I appreciate it.

IMO, No one should need to ask what you want. That's not how gifting works. When you get to a certain age or status, if you want something, you just get it yourself.

@wagirl if your son insists, maybe suggest he take you to have dinner, or to see a movie or do something with you that you enjoy.

The gift of time and presence is most welcoming for most people.

Re: How to answer this question---

LindaSal — Sun, 08 Dec 2024 15:06:17 GMT

I agree with the others I tell my kids not to buy us anything, we have everything we need.

I also buy what I want and don't need or want anything from anyone else.......they will show up usually with a nice bottle of wine though as DH and I still enjoy some of that at times.

I tell them this........ it's their company that is my gift always.

Re: How to answer this question---

DREAMON — Sun, 08 Dec 2024 18:44:03 GMT

I write things down throughout the year that we want or need and don't purchase those items so my children and grandchildren can have something to buy for me. Same for my husband.

We have small grandchildren and they like giving presents plus we get together on Christmas morning and it's fun to exchange a gift even if it is something very small.

We like to keep the tradition going.

Re: How to answer this question---

JeanLouiseFinch — Sun, 08 Dec 2024 15:16:05 GMT

We are at a point in life where we are able to pay our bills, get things we want when we want them, eat out, travel a little, etc., within reason. But we remember what it was like in the beginning and during the years we were raising our kids. That's where our kids are now, not to mention things being more expensive than ever. We will still buy for everyone but we already told our kids not to buy us anything. We, too, appreciate the face to face times more than a wrapped gift.

Re: How to answer this question---

KittySoftPaws — Sun, 08 Dec 2024 15:16:54 GMT

@wagirl It's very nice that he asked, I would have made something up so as not to take away from his joy of giving. Doesn't have to be anything big, but maybe throw him a hint or something.

Re: How to answer this question---

brandiwine — Sun, 08 Dec 2024 15:18:44 GMT

Many years ago my DH and I told our son and DIL to make a small donation to a local charity for our gift. We need nothing, but so many others are in need. They have done a local food bank, an organization that helps provide clothes and shoes for those in need. Animal shelters or helping a police department with support for their canine unit are also wonderful ideas. Happy Holidays

Re: How to answer this question---

Big Joanie — Sun, 08 Dec 2024 15:18:57 GMT

I remember this with parents and Gr. Parents .. when they

needed something through the year they bought it ...

Now its the same with us ... the circle of life I guess ....

Have a Great Day ...

Re: How to answer this question---

Iwantcoffee — Sun, 08 Dec 2024 15:28:04 GMT

When my son ask me I say either candle, journal, or book. These are things I enjoy and will use. I have sent a link to something I see on Amazon that I would like as a suggestion after he ask. I am not expecting him to purchase for me but an idea for him so he won't have to spend time deciding what to do.

Re: How to answer this question---

Venezia — Sun, 08 Dec 2024 15:35:27 GMT

DH and I stopped buying gifts for each other years ago. We just buy what we want or need, when we want to. And we're at the stage where we're trying to get rid of "stuff", so we don't want to add to what we already have.

If someone wants to buy us a gift, I suggest something that we can use up - chocolates, toiletries, things like that.

But, I agree with others, I'd rather just go for lunch or dinner; time spent together. I did that when my sister-in-law had a major birthday. We had a great lunch at a place of her choosing and enjoyed the time to chat and relax.

Re: How to answer this question---

Still Raining — Sun, 08 Dec 2024 15:41:06 GMT

Depending on a family's makeup, I have seen a no present rule working well. Or else a redeemable token for a meal or trip. Together time can be a gift.

Re: How to answer this question---

RescueLover — Sun, 08 Dec 2024 16:13:09 GMT

All your sweet ideas made me cry. Oh how I wish I had my dad still here to ask what he wanted for Christmas.

It’s so true… @Still Raining Time together is the Best gift of all. ❤️

Re: How to answer this question---

QVCkitty1 — Sun, 08 Dec 2024 16:14:08 GMT

@wagirl wrote:
My 45 year old son, yesterday, asked me what I wanted for Xmas this year---and I honestly couldn't think of one thing to tell him so I told him--nothing. And that is completely true--I don't need a thing. But it made me stop an think----- In this day and age, when I want something--I get it. Already bought myself my to-me from-me xmas gift----what would you have said? I think the thing I appreciated was that he actually asked.

@wagirl Most children hate that answer. Just come up with something simple and call it a day.

Re: How to answer this question---

Janey2 — Sun, 08 Dec 2024 16:14:42 GMT

Time spent together is the best gift. There is no material gift better than that.

Re: How to answer this question---

lgfan — Mon, 09 Dec 2024 21:06:43 GMT

My mother tells me the same thing when I ask her what she wants for her birthday. I still buy her her face moisturizers and a cake. She is happy to receive them.

Re: How to answer this question---

wagirl — Sun, 08 Dec 2024 16:21:16 GMT

@Carmie --I have to respectively disagree about asking that question-----to me, getting a gift that has nothing to do with anything in your ballpark, is much worse than not getting one at all. Have had a few of those weird, what in the world will I do with this--in my life-- a waste of $$---stupid ex got me some jewelry--a nice thing--but I WANTED/NEEDED a new kitchen sink/faucet !!! If the idiot would have asked----and then he treated me like I had totally rejected him personally---dumb jerk!!!

My son and his new wife and me and DD, get together once a month for dinner.

Re: How to answer this question---

wagirl — Sun, 08 Dec 2024 16:25:21 GMT

@KittySoftPaws --No, he isn't that way at all--it won't hurt his feelings--we still do birthdays---usually dinner out and small gifts then---xmas time is always so expensive for everyone and he and new wife have plenty of people they gift---I think it's a tiny relief that I don't require anything.

Re: How to answer this question---

World Traveler — Sun, 08 Dec 2024 16:26:11 GMT

When someone asks what I want, I try to make it easy for them by saying a gift card to one of the following: Starbucks, Barnes and Noble, or local confectioners in my area. It's like a sigh of relief I see on their face/shoulders.

I don't do the "just having you spending time with me is enough," etc. Even though I don't need anything, I know if I personally asked someone what they would like to have, I would want an item I can go out and purchase or I wouldn't have asked them. And also, I fully realize that they would go out and try to find something anyway, so why not tell them up front what you want or could use?

My family is very good about giving me gift cards and I appreciate that. I don't have to return an item that didn't fit, wasn't my color, didn't like in any way, shape, or form, etc. Easy for them and exactly what I wanted and I am guaranteed to use!

Same with my birthday.