topic Re: Whadda You Think in Among Friends

Whadda You Think

Puzzle Piece — Wed, 25 Sep 2024 16:34:43 GMT

I wonder about this batchlor.

He's 71, never married lives by himself iwth 13 cats. He stays home all day holed up in his house watching horror and Sci-fi movies, reading sci-fi books, and playig his guitar. He doesn't have a car because he sold his and walks to the market for provisions at night or very early morning. Takes a buss to any medical appts.

I met him 43 years ago and he never forgot me.

Could he need help? He says he's content with his life.

Re: Whadda You Think

May5 — Wed, 25 Sep 2024 16:39:10 GMT

Leave him alone. That sounds like how he wants it.

Re: Whadda You Think

Kachina624 — Wed, 25 Sep 2024 16:49:32 GMT

Sounds like he's doing just fine with his life exactly as he wants it. Not everyone has to be gregarious and out-going. Some people are introverts and loners and are happy with that life.

Re: Whadda You Think

RetRN — Wed, 25 Sep 2024 16:57:27 GMT

Sounds like the bachelor has found a lifestyle that works for him. If he is happy, I think it is wonderful that he isn't trying to please others but is taking care of himself.

Re: Whadda You Think

Nightowlz — Wed, 25 Sep 2024 17:06:26 GMT

All I can say is 13 cats? I don't think so. If they are indoor cats I can only imagine what the inside of his house looks like?

Re: Whadda You Think

LindaSal — Wed, 25 Sep 2024 17:12:53 GMT

I would mind my p's & q's and live and let live. Though I understand you are concerned but as others have said some people are happy being left alone. My son is 39, lives alone with 3 cats.........he's normal (LOL).

Re: Whadda You Think

Tori3569 — Wed, 25 Sep 2024 17:14:23 GMT

@Nightowlz wrote:
All I can say is 13 cats? I don't think so. If they are indoor cats I can only imagine what the inside of his house looks like?

His business. A lot of people have a lot of cats with no issues at all. From the OPs description he sounds like a responsible person.

Re: Whadda You Think

SportyShorty07 — Wed, 25 Sep 2024 17:45:47 GMT

@Nightowlz wrote:
All I can say is 13 cats? I don't think so. If they are indoor cats I can only imagine what the inside of his house looks like?

@Nightowlz That's a very valid concern. It must be hard to monitor and clean up after 13 cats. I think that men can be set in their hobbies and ways sometimes. He has 13 cats and watches horror movies day in and out- these are hobbies that are part of his core identity at this point. Any woman that befriends him or dates him will have to accept all of these things. I'm sure he's a nice and lovely guy, but I wouldn't be able to handle that many cats or scary horror movies each day.

@Puzzle Piece You seem like a very nice lady and a great catch - I know he says that he hasn't forgotten about you for 43 years and I'm sure that he has a place in his thoughts for you after all these years. You're not obligated to date him or even befriend him- you can wish him well and say a warm hello whenever you run into him. Listen to your intuition or any hesitations you have about him. Its ok if this isn't a love connection.

Re: Whadda You Think

luvmybeetle — Wed, 25 Sep 2024 17:38:08 GMT

@Nightowlz wrote:
All I can say is 13 cats? I don't think so. If they are indoor cats I can only imagine what the inside of his house looks like?

I think you're being a little judgemental. I have 5 cats and my house is clean because we change the litter and run the sweeper more than other people do. I think you can have 1 cat and be the smelliest house on the block. It all comes down to maintaining your home.

Re: Whadda You Think

Love my grandkids — Wed, 25 Sep 2024 17:43:07 GMT

@Puzzle Piece If he hasn't asked for your help, MYOB and stay out of it.

Re: Whadda You Think

Tinkrbl44 — Wed, 25 Sep 2024 17:44:01 GMT

@Puzzle Piece wrote:
I wonder about this batchlor.
He's 71, never married lives by himself iwth 13 cats. He stays home all day holed up in his house watching horror and Sci-fi movies, reading sci-fi books, and playig his guitar. He doesn't have a car because he sold his and walks to the market for provisions at night or very early morning. Takes a buss to any medical appts.
I met him 43 years ago and he never forgot me.
Could he need help? He says he's content with his life.

@Puzzle Piece

Is this someone you re-connected with online, or does he live in your area?

Sounds like an introvert that has retired and is managing a simple life. Any idea what he did for a living during his working years?

Not to burst your bubble, but I've "never forgotten" a lot of people, but that doesn't mean I might want a future with any of them.

Unless the 13 cats all live inside his home, I say Live and Let Live.

Re: Whadda You Think

BlueFinch — Wed, 25 Sep 2024 17:59:11 GMT

Not too much to wonder about, with this somewhat static history. I would be kind, while not trying to take on a rescue project, that may not be welcome, or needed.

It looks like he embraces a solitary, seclusive lifestyle. Perhaps some mental health issues, or past traumatizing events. Who knows, but having never been married, with over a dozen cats, TV, reading and his guitar, it's clear he likes his routines and has no desire, for change and upgrading social activities. Just guessing, but he's not someone to conform, in the past, or now.

If he takes a bus to the doc, and to the market, he could do so for social activities, too, if he desired. You can only go by what he shares with you. It sounds like he's capable of seeking help if needed.

If he says he's content with his life as it is, he likely is, for now. I've a feeling his bachelor pad is mess, too, not great for inviting others into his space. Sometimes there's some intent to this. An excuse to seclude even more, but just guessing.

I'm sure there's an interesting history behind this gentleman's story. The intrigue led to speculation, on my part.

Re: Whadda You Think

lgfan — Wed, 25 Sep 2024 18:03:31 GMT

It sounds like he is happy with his life. Not everyone needs to be fixed. He has managed to make it to 71 years old. He is obviously doing something right.

Re: Whadda You Think

Mom2Dogs — Wed, 25 Sep 2024 18:06:35 GMT

He might need help but it sounds like he is a loner and is ok with the way he lives.

Unless he asks for help, I would not say anything...did he want to date you? Or are you just friends.

I would not view him as dating material.

Re: Whadda You Think

Puzzle Piece — Wed, 25 Sep 2024 18:15:08 GMT

Yes, he has 12 cats - all indoors too, He doens't clean up too much either. He doesn't want anyone over his house because of the strong smell of the urine and boop.

He does have a 47 year old daughter who has estranged him. He never married the mother and never liked her - just a one night stand.

He is wounded as he had a business deal that took all his money and left him a pauper. If it weren't for his late father's trust, he wouldn't have anything.

He's always been kind and courteous to me and it's really sad he has been in a funk for many years.

He now wants to buy a car and drive to see me.

Re: Whadda You Think

Glittergal — Wed, 25 Sep 2024 18:18:34 GMT

Sounds like he's a classic introvert.

Re: Whadda You Think

LavernLuvsShoes — Wed, 25 Sep 2024 18:22:32 GMT

QUOTE: He has 12 cats - all indoors too, He doens't clean up too much either. He doesn't want anyone over his house because of the strong smell of the urine and boop...

I'm sorry, but this guy sounds like he could be a Hoarder, and definitely not "dating material."

As a potential love interest or partner, he would be a quick pass for me.

Re: Whadda You Think

GingerHead — Wed, 25 Sep 2024 18:24:16 GMT

@Puzzle Piece

Are you interested in potentially dating him or do you just feel sorry for him and want to help him? Maybe if the situation is really bad you could contact adult services in his area.

He sounds a little sad, wounded and set in his ways according to your very last post. Maybe a lost cause or a lifelong project for you.....

Re: Whadda You Think

Nightowlz — Wed, 25 Sep 2024 18:24:28 GMT

@luvmybeetle wrote:
@Nightowlz wrote:
All I can say is 13 cats? I don't think so. If they are indoor cats I can only imagine what the inside of his house looks like?
I think you're being a little judgemental. I have 5 cats and my house is clean because we change the litter and run the sweeper more than other people do. I think you can have 1 cat and be the smelliest house on the block. It all comes down to maintaining your home.

@luvmybeetle

Men don't generally keep a house clean like a woman IMO. He's just lonely.

My dad had 3 cats in the house with a dog. He had who knows how many cats outside he took care of. He even took those he could catch to the vet to be spayed or neutered.

His house always looked clean but the cat hair was an issue for me since the doctor told me I'm allergic.

Re: Whadda You Think

We rescue cats — Wed, 25 Sep 2024 18:56:46 GMT

He sounds like quite an interesting individual! Does he live in the same town that you currently live in? How did you reconnect? He is obviously a caring individual if he has 13 cats inside his home. I have a thousand questions about the cats and their care. (of course!) We have 12 cats and they are all indoor cats, @LavernLuvsShoes - we are NOT hoarders, no matter what your assumption may be. These are animals that were left down by humans and were in need of a home.
If he needs some help with caring for the litter boxes and smell I will gladly send you the details on the litterbox system we use, it's based on horsebedding pine pellets that I buy at Tractor Supply. It's much cheaper than clay litter, easier to use and my home is odor-free.
We are fortunate, we have a 4000 sqft home so the cats have room to roam, but none of them has set foot outside since we adopted them.