topic Re: How do you explain heartbreak? in Among Friends

How do you explain heartbreak?

sarahpanda — Thu, 11 Jul 2024 16:18:39 GMT

My DH will be passing from this life into the next in a matter of just a few days. When I even think about it, the heartbreak is overwheling, awash in tears. Yesterday, someone said to me ' Well, we all have to die, he won't be suffering anymore'', blah, blah, blah. What she doesn't compute is I know all of that - but having my DH disappear from my life will be soul shaking for me - and the ''reasoning'' she is doling out to me simply doesn't help my shattered heart. I get the impression she's saying 'well, just think about this (above) and it won't hurt so bad. NOT !!

Re: How do you explain heartbreak?

Travone — Thu, 11 Jul 2024 16:25:17 GMT

I think people don't know what to say so they often say the wrong things.

I will keep you, your hubby and your family in my prayers.

Death is not easy. God bless you all.

Re: How do you explain heartbreak?

sligo — Thu, 11 Jul 2024 16:26:29 GMT

@sarahpanda, I am so sorry. This is a terrible time for you to go through. TRY to put good happy memories in your heart. It may make you more sad .It won't make loss easier but you can thank God you have these thoughts. Will be thinking of you every day. Always, Sligo

Re: How do you explain heartbreak?

DSD2 — Thu, 11 Jul 2024 16:29:57 GMT

My heart goes out to you. May God bless you and guide you through this heartbreaking chapter in your life.

In moments of tragedy, well intentioned people often put their worst foot forward and are unkind and insensitive. If one doesn't know what to say, I wish they would simply say "I'm so sorry" which is sympathetic, and empathetic.

Of course you will be shattered, and will grieve inconsolably. I hope you are able to surround yourself with family and friends who will lift you up during this dark time.

Sending prayers and support your way.

Re: How do you explain heartbreak?

I am still oxox — Thu, 11 Jul 2024 16:30:44 GMT

May his memory be a blessing to all who know him. Deepest sympathy and condolences

Re: How do you explain heartbreak?

Flying Dove — Thu, 11 Jul 2024 16:31:12 GMT

I am so very sorry for the deep hurt you must be feeling. I can't even imagine your pain. It just has to hurt so very bad. I will keep you and your husvand in my prayers.

Re: How do you explain heartbreak?

BirkiLady — Thu, 11 Jul 2024 16:35:18 GMT

@sarahpanda

There are no words for someone like that. If you have to explain your heart hurts and your life is empty without him, she doesn't deserve an explanation.
Trust me, the majority of people will understand and offer heartfelt compassion and words of comfort to ease the pain. I've been there and it does hurt to the core.
Take your time grieveing, but remember to continue to live. You will smile and laugh again.
You will even blossom with time and surprise yourself at the beauty and joy of being alive.

Keeping you and your husband in my thoughts and prayers.
Sending warm hugs and blessings as you face the difficult days ahead.

Re: How do you explain heartbreak?

Patriot3 — Thu, 11 Jul 2024 16:33:19 GMT

@sarahpanda wrote:
My DH will be passing from this life into the next in a matter of just a few days. When I even think about it, the heartbreak is overwheling, awash in tears. Yesterday, someone said to me ' Well, we all have to die, he won't be suffering anymore'', blah, blah, blah. What she doesn't compute is I know all of that - but having my DH disappear from my life will be soul shaking for me - and the ''reasoning'' she is doling out to me simply doesn't help my shattered heart. I get the impression she's saying 'well, just think about this (above) and it won't hurt so bad. NOT !!

@sarahpanda Sooo sorry!! Be alone w/your wonderful memories. Grieve at your own speed. God Bless!

Re: How do you explain heartbreak?

geezerette — Thu, 11 Jul 2024 16:35:58 GMT

It's a horrible experience and I'm sorry you and your husband are experiencing it.❤️

People do generally mean well, but as stated, they're uncomfortable with the subject and emotions that go with it and don't know what to say. The desire is to try and alleviate your pain, which of course, no one can do.

I wish I could say something to ease your pain.💔

Re: How do you explain heartbreak?

PJinIA — Thu, 11 Jul 2024 16:39:01 GMT

I am so sorry that you and your husband have to go through this. I lost my husband to cancer in May of 2017 and though I had 3 years to prepare for the possibility, the last few days were a combination of fear, intense grief and denial. I told my sister I couldn't do it, I wouldn't possibly survive his death and funeral, yet somehow you find the strength to get through it. My favorite thing someone said to me is that you don't know how strong you are until you don't have a choice. My thoughts and prayers are with you now and in the days, weeks and months to come.

Re: How do you explain heartbreak?

Puppy Lips — Thu, 11 Jul 2024 16:43:58 GMT

We are all so sorry you are going through this. Many of us here have gone through it or know it is coming. I can't even imagine my DH not being here anymore.

I think you just have to acknowledge that it is going to be tough. But know that every day will get a little bit easier, overall, because there will be hills and valleys along the way. Picture yourself in the future, when you have adjusted, and know that that day is coming.

Blessings to you both.

Re: How do you explain heartbreak?

Qgirl26 — Thu, 11 Jul 2024 16:48:18 GMT

@sarahpanda, I'm so sorry! The things I heard during my husband's 7 year battle with terminal cancer aggravated me beyond belief. People mean well but they say the worst things! It's a tough journey going from we to me. There's nothing easy about it and you just take it one day at a time, one minute at a time if necessary. I don't know you and don't know about your faith. For me, that was and still is what got me through. But for you it might be different. But nothing anyone says will make it not hurt! Your life is about to drastically change. For now, be there and savor these last moments. Tell him the things you want to say, even if he's unconscious. Just love and support him until the moment he passes. The only piece of advice I ever give anyone is to do what feels best to you. People will tell you what they think you should do or how they think you should grieve. There are no rules to grieving so do what feels best for you, things like support groups or not or what to do with your free time or how to spend your holidays. Let your heart guide you and realize that people mean well because they so badly want to help but they just can't. You have no choice but to go through this and those who try to make it better just need to understand this. My heart truly goes out to you. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Re: How do you explain heartbreak?

meallen616 — Thu, 11 Jul 2024 20:22:59 GMT

Death is very difficult, we are here for you,

Re: How do you explain heartbreak?

cindyNC — Thu, 11 Jul 2024 16:51:01 GMT

@sarahpanda So very sorry you have to endure some of the crazy things people say. They won't understand until they experience the same situation.

Re: How do you explain heartbreak?

Bookplate — Thu, 11 Jul 2024 16:53:53 GMT

I am very sorry you are going through this misery.

I agree with others that people say insensitive and graceless things to the grieving simply out of awkwardness. Genuine expressions of empathy seem problematic for some people so they repeat stock phrases to cover their communication difficulties.

I have been on the receiving end of a few, but also genuine expressions of compassion, which touched me.

I wish you comfort and strength going forward.

Re: How do you explain heartbreak?

kitcat51 — Thu, 11 Jul 2024 16:54:39 GMT

Prepare yourself, there's more of that to come....when my husband drowned oh the things that were said when they were trying to be kind. Many need to learn that three simple words...I'm so sorry...is all the grieving can handle. Blessings @sarahpanda

Re: How do you explain heartbreak?

Goodie2shoes — Fri, 12 Jul 2024 02:14:09 GMT

My heart goes out to you and your family. I hope having this forum to express your feelings about what someone said to you and have others understand what you are going through will give you some peace of mind. This is "soul shaking" for you and know that you must speak your feelings and have time to grieve. May the Lord bless you and your family during this time and beyond.

Re: How do you explain heartbreak?

Imaoldhippie — Thu, 11 Jul 2024 16:56:25 GMT

I would not know how to explain heartbreak. But I have been through it. My little brother whom I was very close to passed away 3 years ago. My heart was very heavy. I am still very sad and it gets less but I dont think it will ever go away.

My daughter lost her husband last October and she is having a very hard time dealing with it. She is still seeing a grief counselor.

I think time is the only healer for grief. It gets less but never completely goes away.

I am so very sorry about your husband. May God be with you and your family at this time.

Re: How do you explain heartbreak?

Forbidden Fruit — Thu, 11 Jul 2024 17:46:54 GMT

@sarahpanda

Sometimes I think people feel they "need" to say something, when in fact, they should just listen.

Keep holding your husband's hand and tell him what you need him to hear. He knows you are there and can hear you even if he can't respond. You will experience many emotions, so I hope you will extend yourself some grace and time. No one will completely understand until they walk the same path.

Prayers for peace and strength to you and your husband for the days ahead.

Re: How do you explain heartbreak?

webbgarner1 — Thu, 11 Jul 2024 18:11:31 GMT

@sarahpanda Lifting you and your family up in prayer. Praying God will be merciful to your husband and his passing will be peaceful. Praying God will wrap his loving arms around you, and bring you peace during this difficult time and hold you up as you walk through the next chapter of this life.

I am sorry this woman was so insensetive to you and your situation. Some people simply do not know how to deal with situations as yours.