topic Re: Face Book Friend in Among Friends

Face Book Friend

shiningstar — Thu, 14 Apr 2016 15:29:35 GMT

Would you meet a guy you have been friends with on Face Book? Of course in a public place? Just needed some opinions. My friend and I had this conversation not long ago and I want to know what you all think.

Re: Face Book Friend

Winkk — Thu, 14 Apr 2016 15:35:05 GMT

Since he is your FB friend don't you already know him? If so, I would meet him.

But, if he is a FB friend that you accepted but knew nothing about I would check him out first.

Re: Face Book Friend

Sooner — Thu, 14 Apr 2016 15:43:52 GMT

@shiningstar wrote:
Would you meet a guy you have been friends with on Face Book? Of course in a public place? Just needed some opinions. My friend and I had this conversation not long ago and I want to know what you all think.

NEVER!

Re: Face Book Friend

missy1 — Thu, 14 Apr 2016 15:54:45 GMT

I would in a public place, if you are interested. Tell a friend you are going there, and the guys first name and last name, and city.

Nothing different then dating site meet ups. Not all men are creepy. Use caution. Don't give out tmi, until you feel comfortable.

Re: Face Book Friend

Adamlambert — Thu, 14 Apr 2016 15:53:02 GMT

sure, in a restaurant or coffee shop.

Re: Face Book Friend

shiningstar — Thu, 14 Apr 2016 15:53:08 GMT

it's my friend's sister that wants to meet him and my friend is freeking out. No she doesn't already know him.

Re: Face Book Friend

KingstonsMom — Thu, 14 Apr 2016 16:00:40 GMT

@shiningstar

No way. Too any 'crazies' out there, who can pass themselves off as totally normal, till they 'snap'.

I would have to have a background check or know someone else who knows him, to give a reference.

Google 'Seattle Mom beheaded', 4/8/16. It's too graphic in description to post a link here.

A brief backstory:

Mom meets man on dating site, they dated a month (with sleepovers), they went to a Seattle Mariner's game Friday night 4/8/16, the next day some of her body parts are found in random citizen's recycle bin, including her head.

Man claims he was too drunk to remember what happened after they returned from the game.....story developing.

Re: Face Book Friend

RainyDayGal — Thu, 14 Apr 2016 16:04:41 GMT

@shiningstar wrote:
it's my friend's sister that wants to meet him and my friend is freeking out. No she doesn't already know him.

So no one really knows the guy, just through FB? And the sister isn't even a friend with him? Does he want to meet her? If so, how does he even know about her? Weird. I need to know more about him and how he came to be a "friend" before I can form an opinion.

Re: Face Book Friend

chickenbutt — Thu, 14 Apr 2016 16:05:22 GMT

I fancy the notion of meeting guys online as the twenty-first century version of meeting guys in bars.

If you feel comfortable enough, I agree about doing it in a public place. But if you are an overly trusting person, maybe you should bring a friend who isn't.

I only say that because I see a great contrast between my husband, who is massively over-trusting, and me, somebody who is about as massively UN-trusting, in making decisions.

He always goes in trusting and gets burned because he fails to see the signs. He's also a very emotional thinker, so that doesn't help. I go in without trust until somebody has earned it and I am the logical, clinical thinker. So I don't make quick decisions based on emotions. I figure stuff out based on the evidence at hand - very clinical and without emotion, in my decision process. If you go into anything, especially things that are not even emotionally-based things, with ONLY emotional thinking chances are you are going to make the wrong decision.

Re: Face Book Friend

missy1 — Thu, 14 Apr 2016 16:07:27 GMT

I read that sad story. That man could have snapped with anyone. I don't blame dating sites, I put the blame on him. He could have met her at her party, through a friend, etc.

Re: Face Book Friend

RainyDayGal — Thu, 14 Apr 2016 16:10:26 GMT

@missy1 wrote:
I read that sad story. That man could have snapped with anyone. I don't blame dating sites, I put the blame on him. He could have met her at her party, through a friend, etc.

Exactly. I met my husband through match.com. I know several people that are happily married after doing the on-line dating thing. There's crazies out there everywhere.

Re: Face Book Friend

Q4u — Thu, 14 Apr 2016 16:14:19 GMT

Meeting the guy the first time isn't the problem IMHO.... it's feeling comfortable enough to continue seeing someone a few times and letting your guard down!!

It's true that not every guy is out trolling for a victim, but the low percentage that are won't (probably) do anything the first, second or third dates.....

I think it is worth every penny to go on line and learn as much as you can about the person. There are sites that can tell you just about everything if you're willing to invest the money!

Re: Face Book Friend

Adamlambert — Thu, 14 Apr 2016 16:17:18 GMT

a friend of mine is desperate to get married. She finds men on dating sites and always sleeps with them the first night. She must have been w at least 20 so far. She's still living and nothing bad has happened to her, other than a lot of rejection!!! I can't get her to stop either. Just stating the other extreme to simply meeting in a coffee shop.

Re: Face Book Friend

GCR18 — Thu, 14 Apr 2016 16:19:16 GMT

I might as a double date. Bring your friend and her guy. Definitely in a public place.

Re: Face Book Friend

MalteseMomma — Thu, 14 Apr 2016 16:25:11 GMT

About 16/17 yrs ago or more ,I met 3 or 4 guys online. not on FB ,it wasn't there yet..lol.. but in AOL chat rooms online.They all were from my neighborhood or very close by ,like the next town. I had "chatted quite a long time in groups with them before we met. I always met them in a very public place,like my town dinner. I have remained very good friends with all of them over all these years.They all were very nice,including one guy I sent home to get back together with his wife.He was not cheating just going through a divorce and really loved his wife,so I told him to go try to get back together with her and he did

I have made many lasting friendships that way I still go to lunch on occasion with one or two of them or maybe a movie. now i am quite old..lol......78

Re: Face Book Friend

KingstonsMom — Thu, 14 Apr 2016 16:27:33 GMT

@missy1 wrote:
I read that sad story. That man could have snapped with anyone. I don't blame dating sites, I put the blame on him. He could have met her at her party, through a friend, etc.

I agree, I wasn't blaming online dating at all, just that there's a lot of crazies in this world and I would do everything I could to be sure he is who he says he is, if it were me.

As others mentioned, for $10 you can do a background check online.

Re: Face Book Friend

missy1 — Thu, 14 Apr 2016 16:32:14 GMT

@MalteseMomma wrote:
About 16/17 yrs ago or more ,I met 3 or 4 guys online. not on FB ,it wasn't there yet..lol.. but in AOL chat rooms online.They all were from my neighborhood or very close by ,like the next town. I had "chatted quite a long time in groups with them before we met. I always met them in a very public place,like my town dinner. I have remained very good friends with all of them over all these years.They all were very nice,including one guy I sent home to get back together with his wife.He was not cheating just going through a divorce and really loved his wife,so I told him to go try to get back together with her and he did

I have made many lasting friendships that way I still go to lunch on occasion with one or two of them or maybe a movie. now i am quite old..lol......78

I loved those aol chat rooms.

Re: Face Book Friend

MalteseMomma — Thu, 14 Apr 2016 16:41:42 GMT

@missy1 .

AOL had a great Widow and Widowers group.

I'll never forget the time I met a guy in the parking lot of my towns dinner.There he was leaning against his" Harley Davidson" and I thought I had hit the jackpot!!!! (I am a closet Biker.lol)

We rode all over on that bike that day,all through town (my son is Mayor.lol ) and I thought what if anyone sees my son and tells him," I just saw your mom on the back of a Harley" ..lol

We are still good friends and now it is my, policeman,grandson that rides the Harley.......lol

Re: Face Book Friend

Ms X — Thu, 14 Apr 2016 16:45:40 GMT

I don't know, but anyone who would should get the info and maybe pay a professional to do a proper background check before any decision is made. There are too many crazies on the Internet.

Re: Face Book Friend

ChynnaBlue — Thu, 14 Apr 2016 17:02:06 GMT

Meeting a person from Facebook is not much different from online dating sites, which are very common and, if you use your head, very safe.

I've met all kinds of people I know online in real life have done since the 80s. Some of them are my closest friends and I've even been in the wedding party of one person I met through a video game. We played together for years before meeting in person. Some of my friends live in the same city I do and some are in other states. I've been on vacation with online friends I've met in real life.

One of my rules for online friends, whether I meet them or not, is that I don't stay friends with people who make me uncomfortable or send up any red flags. That can be anything from telling inappropriate jokes, flirting with me when I've asked the person not to, telling me too many personal details too soon, telling me NO personal details ever, or giving me conflicting information/lying about things.

I meet the person in a public place of my choosing and make sure my friends and family know where I am. I arrange to call a friend or family member when I meet the person and make sure I check back in with that person later. I've been meeting online friends in real life since 1986 and I'm still alive to tell and say that my life would be much poorer had I not met those friends.