topic Re: Advice for relocating. in Among Friends

Advice for relocating.

Allthingsgirly67 — Fri, 12 Jan 2024 00:33:39 GMT

I might have posted before on this subject but I had a few questions. I have a 17 year old daughter who has one year left in high school. She is academically gifted and would like to eventually go to college so naturally the high schools are important as she loves chemistry ( definitely not from my side of the family).I’m not able to visit prior to moving but am familiar with the area. Here are my questions
1) I have seen many listings on Facebook marketplace, which seem to have many many listings, some from realtors, wondering if they are legit.
2) Did you secure a realtor agent prior to moving?
3) How did you go about getting an agent?
4) I was thinking about staying in a hotel for a week to scout apartments.
5) Is there anything else I should consider as i don’t want to overlook anything else so i can cover all the bases and not have this blow up in my face. Thanks to those who respond with sincerity and those with snarky comments can feel free to move on to another topic.

Re: Advice for relocating.

Janey2 — Fri, 12 Jan 2024 00:41:24 GMT

@Allthingsgirly67 I can't answer your questions, but I have one of my own for you. Are you going to move your daughter to a new school when you move? I would do everything I could to not change your daughters school with one year left.

Re: Advice for relocating.

Snowpuppy — Fri, 12 Jan 2024 00:48:04 GMT

Why not have your sister scout out the rentals for you since you said she is already there ?

Re: Advice for relocating.

Kachina624 — Fri, 12 Jan 2024 00:57:35 GMT

@Allthingsgirly67. It shouldn't take a week to scout apartments. You can do a lot of homework ahead of time which should give a short list of those appropriate. Call the local police department for info on crime in an area or complex.

Twice I scouted houses on realtor.com, then hired a realtor to take me around to show me homes. In both cases I was able to make a choice of a home to buy in one day.

I called a realtor to inquire about a property, we hit it off and I hired her. She got a commission on the house I bought. Forget Facebook. I wouldnt trust anything there.

If you have old furniture or big heavy pieces, consider getting rid of them before the move. It'll make a huge difference in your moving bill.

Re: Advice for relocating.

Etoile308 — Fri, 12 Jan 2024 01:44:27 GMT

If I remember your situation correctly my first question would be whether you have a child custody agreement in place stating you are permitted to move your daughter out of state. Then I would ask your daughter her feelings on going to a new school, in a new town, in a new state for her senior year.

The last place I would look for anything is on Facebook.

Re: Advice for relocating.

SaveTheTurtles — Fri, 12 Jan 2024 01:51:28 GMT

@Allthingsgirly67 I concur regarding Facebook marketplace. That might be ok for a lawn mower but not a house! You might consider contacting the chamber of commerce for recommendations also. You don't say which city you are thinking about. I would do as much research ahead of time that I could. If you think of something write it down so you don't forget as you compile a list of everything you need to find out. Good luck!

Re: Advice for relocating.

Allthingsgirly67 — Fri, 12 Jan 2024 03:41:48 GMT

With the upcoming divorce i can neither afford it nor want to stay where I currently live. I had told my daughter I was fine waiting for her to finish but she is adamant for a new change as well. I explained about leaving her friends and all it entails but I feel she wants distance from her father. Without going into the details CPS was called in regards to him not me. He emotionally manipulates situations and has been told by the caseworker that she is not his best friend. She saw and heard a lot of abuse and for her emotional well being we want to put distance behind us and start fresh.

Re: Advice for relocating.

Allthingsgirly67 — Fri, 12 Jan 2024 03:45:07 GMT

Re: Advice for relocating.

Allthingsgirly67 — Fri, 12 Jan 2024 03:48:06 GMT

In regard to my sister she is a manager of a very large Publix and has her own life to live. I was planning on an an apartment and I’m taking next to nothing with me. If there is a furnished apartment even better. I was just curious about Facebook marketplace as I had seen listings attached to some realtors and some were private listings.

Re: Advice for relocating.

Allthingsgirly67 — Fri, 12 Jan 2024 04:24:38 GMT

Re: Advice for relocating.

Etoile308 — Fri, 12 Jan 2024 04:28:23 GMT

I'm going to state again, to prevent future headaches and heartaches, get a custody agreement.

If I'm not mistaken you have two children and you plan to move with only your daughter. Regardless what has happened in the past, you can't depend on a past CPS report preventing a vindictive individual from dragging you into court to petition for custody the moment you step out of state. You need to nail down primary custody, ability to move out of state, and visitation rights regarding both children. Without a legal custody agreement how difficult would it be for him to petition that you abandoned your son and prevent you from any visitations?

Re: Advice for relocating.

LizzieInSRQ — Fri, 12 Jan 2024 11:53:17 GMT

Apartments.com put in your criteria and read reviews.

Look up the high schools in the area. Ask you sister about them. Google reviews. The internet can save you a lot of time and money.. if you are going public school, that choice will dictate the area you mive to.

If you are renting, no need to involve a realtor.. if you have that money, hire one. Rental realtors will have the info you need and should only take a day or two. You are not buying.

Re: Advice for relocating.

Natureluvr — Fri, 12 Jan 2024 14:16:16 GMT

Agree with @LizzieInSRQ that apartments dot com is a good place to start. Most cities don’t require a realtor. My daughter needed one for NYC but that’s a different animal. Also, beware of scams since some post apartments that they don’t even own, take your deposit then disappear.

Re: Advice for relocating.

ScrapHappy — Fri, 12 Jan 2024 15:31:51 GMT

My husband moved 6 months ahead of myself and daughter so she could finish school (she was in 4th grade at the time). My husband had to start his new job. He looked for a furnished apartment but could not find any. The only thing similar to that was a place at a hotel, like extended stay. We had a realtor, someone he met when he interviewed for the job who gave him some direction, but not needed for renting an apartment. We would be buying a home in the near future and had her for that and has become a good friend. I think if you're looking to rent an apartment, a realtor isn't needed. Have you considered renting a condo, townhouse or part of someone's home, like their basement? In those cases, maybe a real estate office would be of some help. If you're wanting a high performing school district, you'll have to to do your research. Look things up. If you find a school you and your daughter like, make sure you find a place within the boundaries of that school. I will just add that my daughter had a difficult time changing schools, and that was just her starting 5th grade. Kids already had their "groups" and not so friendly and willing to let the new kid in, especially the girls. I know everyone is different, but just putting it out there.

Re: Advice for relocating.

manny2 — Fri, 12 Jan 2024 16:04:37 GMT

Be careful, and don’t trust anyone. I think you should use a real estate agent. They know the area. If a certain area is not desirable, they will tell you.

You can start right now from where you are. They will look for places in your price range and in the best school district for your daughter.

There are so many scams out there stay away from Facebook.

I commend you for getting you and your daughter out of the abusive situation. It is not easy. You will be ok, just be safe.

Re: Advice for relocating.

Allthingsgirly67 — Fri, 12 Jan 2024 22:36:24 GMT

Thanks for the advice it is really appreciated. My hopefully soon to be ex was doing a smear campaign against me to the kids. My son just turned 21 and is very intelligent and is high functioning autistic. For some reason he idolizes his father and I know his father has “plans” for them to be together. A few people have told me that they have seen autistic children attach themselves to one parent. I know in the future I will have to tell him some very ugly details about his father and MIL. It breaks my heart the way his father was playing head games with the kids. My daughter saw through it but not my son unfortunately. I was told by the lawyer and by the CPS caseworker that because she is almost 17, she has a say who she wants to be with. I have a letter which I gave to my lawyer that states that for lack of a better word “found” reasons for the case. So it’s really important for me to do my research and make intelligent decisions. I will definitely steer away from Facebook.

Re: Advice for relocating.

chrystaltree — Fri, 12 Jan 2024 22:55:10 GMT

Does your academically gifted 17 year old high school senior want to change schools so late? I think this would wreck havoc with her college applications.

Re: Advice for relocating.

Allthingsgirly67 — Fri, 12 Jan 2024 23:22:26 GMT

Well she is almost 17 and does plan to go to college and she loves chemistry. The fly in the ointment is that she has her heart set on NYU and is not facing reality. She thinks that her and her boyfriend (?!) will split rent in college by waitressing. She is totally pie in the sky. I gently try to tell her how her plans has holes ( major ones) but she gets very upset at me and accuses me of not being supportive and making her sad -her words. I live just outside of Queens in the suburbs and I know she has no clue whatsoever in regards to the reality of living in the city. I highly doubt current boyfriend will be in the picture by the time she is planning to go to any college. So I am currently planning to move into a one bedroom apartment in case she does go out of state. I have a conference with her guidance counselor in a few weeks and will bring up my concerns.

Re: Advice for relocating.

Zwervend — Fri, 12 Jan 2024 23:30:17 GMT

@Allthingsgirly67 - you've yet to address the absolutely most important detail of your plans to relocate to southeastern Florida (it's not a secret, you've mentioned it multiple times).

How are you going to support yourself, particularly in an area that has a significantly higher cost of living than the national average?

You've mentioned that your sister manages a large Publix and can get you a job. That's all well and good, but the average hourly paid Publix employee makes just under $30,000 (source -various found thru Google). According to BestPlaces.Net, in order to support a family in Palm Beach county, which you mentioned as the area that you're looking at, you'll need to make around $85,000. You're currently working as a beauty advisor, which also isn't a high paying job. Do you have some special skills & training that will enable you to get a job that will provide the funds needed to support you and your daughter? You needn't answer us here, but it's something that you have to resolve BEFORE you move.

I wish you the best.

Re: Advice for relocating.

qbetzforreal — Sat, 13 Jan 2024 00:58:23 GMT

Based on previous posts, I was under the impression that the OP had relocated.