topic Re: Check? in Among Friends

Check?

Alsace Gal — Sun, 03 Dec 2023 21:12:36 GMT

I need an honest opinion from our posters.

Last week a neighbor across the street texted me. She said she needed to go to Costco, which day, Monday at 9 or Wednesday at 9. She didn't ask if I would take her, just asked which of those two days would be okay.

I replied Monday, however I thought about it and texted back I would take her Sunday at 9, (today).

She didn't want to because of Christmas shoppers, I replied it would be Sunday.

The first time she and I went together, I didn't realize she didn't have a Costco membership. When we went to check out she was in front of me and asked for my membership card and the checker got upset and said it would be the last time she would allow it. I still didn't understand why she needed my card, I suppose I was shocked.

I paid for her purchases and she never mentioned it again, nor pay me back.

This morning before we left, I texted her and asked if she was now a Costco member and if not she would need to have cash to pay me after check out.

She didn't reply.

Well, at checkout she wanted to use a credit card and she is not a member, her credit card would not be accepted, again I paid for her purchases which was over $150.00.

I just about had heart failure.

She gave me a check in the car.

I live on my social security and do my best not to use my savings. I now live by myself and support myself. It was different when dear sister was alive, we shared all expenses, everything.

I'm afraid to cash her check, if it bounces I'll have charges for a bounced check.

Do you think it would be okay to go to her bank in the morning to ask if she has funds in her account to clear her check?

Both times I took her to Costco I didn't purchase anything.

I don't want to be petty but I can't afford to fund her purchases, which was gift cards for others and dog food.

When I was in business for myself, I often went to a customers bank to check if the check would clear, never for a friend.

I'm sorry this post it so long.

Re: Check?

RedTop — Sun, 03 Dec 2023 21:17:27 GMT

I think your neighbor has some nerve to ask this of you, and you're a much better neighbor to her than I would be!

I would definitely seek confirmation the check is good.

I would not tolerate this!

Re: Check?

Franklinbell — Sun, 03 Dec 2023 21:18:30 GMT

@Alsace Gal Wow! I am so sorry you are being treated this way. Not NIce!! Many years ago I went to the bank a check was drawn on cashed a check. However, that was a while ago and many things may have changed. I think it would be worth a try and I just would not take her anymore!! Way a terrible way to treat someone. Some people. If we were neighbors we would just go out for coffee and piece of pie!

Re: Check?

Tori3569 — Sun, 03 Dec 2023 21:19:30 GMT

Yes, you should be able to call or go to the bank and inquire about the funds to cover the check. As much as I don't want to say this, please don't let her take advantage of your kindness again.

Re: Check?

kaydee50 — Sun, 03 Dec 2023 21:19:44 GMT

@Alsace Gal You are NOT being "petty." If she asks you again about going to Costco, remind her of the money she owes you and politely decline taking her.

Re: Check?

Group 5 minus 1 — Sun, 03 Dec 2023 21:20:32 GMT

You have been scammed!!

Re: Check?

Alsace Gal — Sun, 03 Dec 2023 21:25:44 GMT

@Group 5 minus 1 wrote:
You have been scammed!!

I hope not, my tummy Is churning.

Re: Check?

Group 5 minus 1 — Sun, 03 Dec 2023 21:28:52 GMT

And I thought there was some thing about using a members card and not being a member.

i thought the charges for a bounced check would go to the check writer.

Re: Check?

LizzieInSRQ — Sun, 03 Dec 2023 21:34:14 GMT

@Alsace Gal you are not being petty...frankly you are being a doormat. Stop. You neighbor is a grifter who has found her mark, you. She is awful but this is 50% your fault as well. Do you understand why i say such a thing? You thinking you are being nice without caring about youe own potential harm makes you responsibke for tolerating being taken advantage of. You let her. That is why i say stop. Now. You shouldve after the first time. Get your money and never communicate with this scammer again. Especially after the losses youve suffered, she is DESPICABLE.

Re: Check?

Alsace Gal — Sun, 03 Dec 2023 21:27:15 GMT

@RedTop wrote:
I think your neighbor has some nerve to ask this of you, and you're a much better neighbor to her than I would be!

I would definitely seek confirmation the check is good.

I would not tolerate this!

Yes, I'll go in the morning. Thank you.

Re: Check?

Tori3569 — Sun, 03 Dec 2023 21:28:39 GMT

@Alsace Gal wrote:
@Group 5 minus 1 wrote:
You have been scammed!!
I hope not, my tummy Is churning.

You're ok. She lives right across the street. The bank will hopefully be able to help you. One step at a time--I have to tell myself that all the time. I hope it works out ok.

Re: Check?

Alsace Gal — Sun, 03 Dec 2023 21:30:11 GMT

@LizzieInSRQ wrote:
@Alsace Gal you are not being petty...frankly you are being a doormat. Stop. You neighbor is a grifter who has found her mark, you. She is awful but this is 50% your fault as well. Get your money and never communicate again.

You're right, I agree I'm to blame. I should have said no and it wouldn't have happened.

Re: Check?

Alsace Gal — Sun, 03 Dec 2023 21:32:32 GMT

@Group 5 minus 1 wrote:
And I thought there was some thing about using a members card and not being a member.
i thought the charges for a bounced check would go to the check writer.

You may be right, it was the first thing that came to mind, I thought both would be charged.

Yes, there is, but, the cashier this morning didn't say anything.

Re: Check?

Alsace Gal — Sun, 03 Dec 2023 21:34:22 GMT

@Franklinbell wrote:
@Alsace Gal Wow! I am so sorry you are being treated this way. Not NIce!! Many years ago I went to the bank a check was drawn on cashed a check. However, that was a while ago and many things may have changed. I think it would be worth a try and I just would not take her anymore!! Way a terrible way to treat someone. Some people. If we were neighbors we would just go out for coffee and piece of pie!

Thank you. I'm not interested in going for coffee or pie.

Re: Check?

SurferWife — Sun, 03 Dec 2023 21:34:40 GMT

@Alsace Gal

Petty? Oh honey, you are not at all being petty! You have been far more generous than I would ever have been. She is USING you. You may certainly, politely of course, tell her you can't do this for her anymore.

As far as the check, you can simply cash it without depositing it in your account. Go to the bank listed on her check. They'll cash it. If she has the funds to cover it, then you will have your cash now. If not, then you should consider knocking on her door.

Don't let her walk all over your anymore.

Re: Check?

millieshops — Sun, 03 Dec 2023 21:35:34 GMT

@Alsace Gal I see nothing petty about your thinking. If anyone in the transaction is off, it's your neighbor but she's worse than petty unless she's demented and doesn't realize what happened!

I would remind the neighbor that she owes me money, and I'd have the receipts at hand to show her exactly what she bought. I can be generous at times even on my retiree fixed income, but I get to choose when and why. I wouldn't be choosing to pay in the situation you described.

Re: Check?

kindred cats — Sun, 03 Dec 2023 21:38:01 GMT

@Alsace Gal .... I'd confront her for the money in cash. Have her go to her bank and withdraw it for you.

I wonder if you can dispute the charges on your Costco Visa card if, in fact, you use that charge card for purchases. Probably a long shot since technically the Costco employee let you pay for her goods on your card. But that's against their policy!!!

In any event, I'd never take her again. The Dragon in me!

Re: Check?

ciao_bella — Sun, 03 Dec 2023 21:38:04 GMT

@Alsace Gal Go to her bank and, hopefully, there will be sufficient funds. If not, go back to her house and demand she give you cash. If or when she calls again for you to take her to Costco, I would decline and tell her she needs her own Costco card and her own transportation.

Re: Check?

Alsace Gal — Sun, 03 Dec 2023 21:42:42 GMT

@SurferWife wrote:
@Alsace Gal
Petty? Oh honey, you are not at all being petty! You have been far more generous than I would ever have been. She is USING you. You may certainly, politely of course, tell her you can't do this for her anymore.

As far as the check, you can simply cash it without depositing it in your account. Go to the bank listed on her check. They'll cash it. If she has the funds to cover it, then you will have your cash now. If not, then you should consider knocking on her door.

Don't let her walk all over your anymore.

Thank you! I never thought about cashing it at her bank, first thing in the morning I'll find out. Thank you again.

Re: Check?

qbetzforreal — Sun, 03 Dec 2023 21:47:22 GMT

If she should ever ask again for a ride to Costco and you are inclined to take her, I would take her and stay in the car and let her go in by herself and open up her own account.

She is a not so good friend and neighbor.