topic Re: Feeling Sad in Among Friends

Feeling Sad

pattiewaddle — Mon, 20 Nov 2023 18:34:11 GMT

Daughter and I had a disagreement to say the least, She is 63 and in horrible menopause seeing DR. but will not have results till Dec 1.Im 83 and listen to her until Im ready for hormones. Told her after hrs. of hearing all this Im tired lets talk about something else planned for her to come over next day.......Husband and she called me together and informed me how I hurt her feelings.Husband was nice but said we need to cool things afew days but still want you for Thanksgiving. Next morning she calls and is mad and call to see if I was still kicking.I said Thank You for checking on me Bye, havent heard from her for several days.....afraid to go for fear Ill say something and she will take it the wrong way. Ive helped them with money etc just hurt myself. Theyy could up and move from this area then I will be alone.just need cheering up.

Re: Feeling Sad

LTT1 — Mon, 20 Nov 2023 18:50:03 GMT

@pattiewaddle

Sounds like her husband understands your dilemma.

She is hormonal...taking it out on you and probably everyone else too.

I don't know what to,tell you...sounds like me dealing with my mom. I couldn't talk to her.

'So unless you are able to talk to your daughter beforehand in order to straighten everything between you out...perhaps you should get a "bug" and not go.

As you said, you are not urge you would be welcome.

'If you get a phone call wondering where you are,you could say you didn't know if they Still wanted you to come?

I wouldn't get into an argument with her at all...she needs hormonal regulation and I wouldn't want any interaction until she gets it.

Stay at home and count your blessings ... don't be sad and I wouldn't let her know that I felt lonely... right now it doesn't sound as if you two could discuss it and reach a compromise.

Re: Feeling Sad

Malcontent — Mon, 20 Nov 2023 18:51:57 GMT

@pattiewaddle

Just remember, you’ve been there, done that, and this too shall pass.

It’ll all work out.

Re: Feeling Sad

manny2 — Mon, 20 Nov 2023 18:52:14 GMT

Don’t worry about what hasn’t happened. It is normal to argue with our children. She will come around. Just give it time.

Have a happy Holiday! It’s going to be ok.

Re: Feeling Sad

goldensrbest — Mon, 20 Nov 2023 19:08:20 GMT

It is that time of year, sometimes things just happen.

Re: Feeling Sad

LavernLuvsShoes — Mon, 20 Nov 2023 19:21:43 GMT

If I didn't want to be alone on Thanksgiving, I'd go and try not to say anything that might upset my daughter.

It's not easy having to "walk on eggshells," but it's possible.

I'd also call and apologize - It doesn't cost a thing to extend an "olive branch" even though one may not be in the wrong.

She's having a rough time, and I guess she just needed to vent - She also called to check on you, so there's that too.

I sincerely hope this works out for you. ♥

Re: Feeling Sad

freakygirl — Mon, 20 Nov 2023 19:24:13 GMT

when we choose someone to unload to, it's most likely because we value that person and think they'll get us, hear us, be sympathetic and understanding. when you got tired of hearing her woes and let her know it, she obviously was hurt. i understand your side too, that maybe it just got too much. if it's in you, just acknowledge that you probably didn't go about it in the best way possible. i'm sure after your comment, she felt like her feelings weren't being validated. whoever makes the first move to reconcile doesn't mean she's the weaker one. it's being the bigger one. no matter who's fault it is.

Re: Feeling Sad

Mom2Dogs — Mon, 20 Nov 2023 22:09:17 GMT

Just my opinion, I would attend Thanksgiving, and stay away from difficult topics....you don't always have to have an answer when some one is venting.

I have a difficult sister, two- to be honest....I have not spoken to either one for quite a while and their problems are NOT hormonal......some people cannot be reasoned with.

Re: Feeling Sad

Desert Lily — Mon, 20 Nov 2023 19:40:55 GMT

I agree with @freakygirl

You could show your daughter you're thankful to have her around you. You could call her, apologize if your comment sounded abrupt/uncaring to her and you didn't mean to hurt her feelings.

I hope the Thanksgiving holiday brings you close together again.

Re: Feeling Sad

LdyBugz — Mon, 20 Nov 2023 19:41:01 GMT

It's hard being a parent sometimes. You want to always be there for your kids, but parents are human beings, too. Our kids forget that sometimes.

I understand you're hurt, but maybe it might be best to let things slide for the holiday. They said they still want you there for Thanksgiving so I think you should go. Perhaps you could call tomorrow or Wednesday and ask if she needs you to bring anything or help with dinner. That might help set a positive tone and ease any tensions. Maybe bring a nice bouquet of flowers when you go to help set the stage for a pleasant time with her. It would be a shame to sit home and "stew" instead of being with family.

Re: Feeling Sad

Goldengate8361 — Mon, 20 Nov 2023 19:54:20 GMT

Menopausal at 63? How can that be possible? That is way too old for menopause. Something is not right here.....

Re: Feeling Sad

paixmcdao — Mon, 20 Nov 2023 20:00:56 GMT

@Goldengate8361 wrote:
Menopausal at 63? How can that be possible? That is way too old for menopause. Something is not right here.....

It is certainly possible with Late Stage Menopause.

Re: Feeling Sad

GingerHead — Mon, 20 Nov 2023 20:01:32 GMT

@pattiewaddle

I'd just call her and tell her the title of your post....

"I'm feeling sad" and then talk it through.

We all just want to be seen and heard especially by the people we most love. Sounds like she felt she wasn't being.

Hope it gets worked out. I'd personally just call her now before Thanksgiving so that you aren't terribly uncomfortable then.

Re: Feeling Sad

Luvsmyfam — Mon, 20 Nov 2023 20:02:16 GMT

@pattiewaddleYou are not alone.My daughter is the same way towards me,except worse.It is very hurtful,but I,{you} have to continue our lives and do the very best we can.

Re: Feeling Sad

Shop Till you Drop — Mon, 20 Nov 2023 20:02:46 GMT

As someone who is going through this currently, try to have extra understanding. Everyone's symptoms and feelings are different during this time in our lives. My emotions went to a place they had never been. I could go from crying my eyes out over something that normally would never have effected me that way, to being so angry over sommething simple as well. I just had to ask my family and friends for forgivness for my emotions, I know it was not my normal, and so glad I am getting to the other side of it. It has been the hardest medical issue I have ever dealt with and I dealt with my share. Please give her some grace.

Re: Feeling Sad

LavernLuvsShoes — Mon, 20 Nov 2023 20:08:46 GMT

@Shop Till you Drop wrote:
... My emotions went to a place they had never been. I could go from crying my eyes out over something that normally would never have effected me that way, to being so angry over sommething simple as well.

Please give her some grace.

Ditto! - Mean-O-Pause was the hardest 6 years of my life, so I can truly relate.

Re: Feeling Sad

PhilaLady1 — Mon, 20 Nov 2023 20:35:39 GMT

@Goldengate8361

@Goldengate8361 wrote:
Menopausal at 63? How can that be possible? That is way too old for menopause. Something is not right here.....

I was thinking the same thing. I know that I was early at 41, but 63? I agree, something is not right here...

Re: Feeling Sad

Sapphiregal — Mon, 20 Nov 2023 21:18:05 GMT

@Goldengate8361 wrote:
Menopausal at 63? How can that be possible? That is way too old for menopause. Something is not right here.....

@Goldengate8361

Yeah, that is what I was thinking. I got hit with that back in my 40's - a lifetime ago! I guess I was lucky though - it didn't last long and I was never "hormonal" .

Re: Feeling Sad

occasionalrain — Mon, 20 Nov 2023 21:34:06 GMT

Your daughter trusted you with her feelings, expected you to understand and you got bored or annoyed and didn't want to hear anymore about it. That was dismissive and hurtful. You owe her an apology.

Someday, you may need her help and understanding.

Re: Feeling Sad

ninjawife — Mon, 20 Nov 2023 21:35:49 GMT

I looked it up. The average age range for going through menopause is 40-58 with the average age being 51.