topic Re: Bad Jokes R Us in Among Friends

Bad Jokes R Us

Malcontent — Tue, 19 Sep 2023 17:26:25 GMT

What is the difference between a Hippo and a ZIPPO?

One is a little heavy and the other is a little lighter.

“I don’t have to make sense. I’m Italian!”

Gina Lollobrigida in Come September.

Re: Bad Jokes R Us

PhilaLady1 — Tue, 19 Sep 2023 17:40:22 GMT

What did the Alpaca say to his girlfriend?

"Want to go on a picnic? Alpaca lunch."

Re: Bad Jokes R Us

LTT1 — Tue, 19 Sep 2023 17:56:22 GMT

Hahahah!

Re: Bad Jokes R Us

just bee — Tue, 19 Sep 2023 18:12:45 GMT

I went to see a psychiatrist to get over my crippling fear of palindromes.

She put me on Xanax.

Re: Bad Jokes R Us

just bee — Tue, 19 Sep 2023 18:17:25 GMT

Knock knock.

Who's there?

HIPAA.

HIPAA who?

I can't tell you.

Re: Bad Jokes R Us

Malcontent — Tue, 19 Sep 2023 18:20:31 GMT

How do you wash a water proof rain jacket?

You dry clean it.

“I don’t have to make sense. I’m Italian!”

Gina Lollobrigida in Come September.

Re: Bad Jokes R Us

just bee — Tue, 19 Sep 2023 18:23:23 GMT

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

It only takes one, but it takes a long time and the light bulb has to want to change.

Re: Bad Jokes R Us

Malcontent — Tue, 19 Sep 2023 18:26:30 GMT

What do you call a cantaloupe in a swimming pool?

A watermelon.

“I don’t have to make sense. I’m Italian!”

Gina Lollobrigida in Come September.

Re: Bad Jokes R Us

just bee — Tue, 19 Sep 2023 18:49:20 GMT

I went to the psychiatrist because I keep acting like a dog.

She said, “Lie down on the couch and we’ll discuss this.”

I said, “I’m not allowed on the couch.”

Re: Bad Jokes R Us

DSD2 — Tue, 19 Sep 2023 19:06:44 GMT

These are all little treasures.

Thank you for the wry humor, I smiled at every single one.

Re: Bad Jokes R Us

RespectLife — Tue, 19 Sep 2023 19:43:22 GMT

Two men meet on opposite sides of a river.

One shouts to the other "I need you to help me get to the other side."

The other guy shouts "You ARE on the other side!"

Re: Bad Jokes R Us

lgfan — Tue, 19 Sep 2023 19:54:44 GMT

A man swam half way across a river and then realized that he was tired and could not reach the other side so he turned around and went back.

Re: Bad Jokes R Us

Cakers3 — Tue, 19 Sep 2023 19:56:11 GMT

A polar bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender “I’ll have a rum …………………. and coke.”

The bartender asks, “What’s with the big pause?”

The bear shrugs. “I was born with them".

Did you hear about the guy who ate six cans of alphabet soup? He had the biggest vowel movement ever.

I was addicted to the hokey pokey.

But then I turned myself around.

Did you hear about the fork factory with inconsistent quality control? It was the best of tines, it was the worst of tines.

New CBD infused toilet paper! Now everyone can calm their butt down!

Re: Bad Jokes R Us

Malcontent — Tue, 19 Sep 2023 20:13:35 GMT

What does an Italian have when one arm is shorter than the other?

A speech impediment.

“I don’t have to make sense. I’m Italian!”

Gina Lollobrigida in Come September.

Re: Bad Jokes R Us

just bee — Tue, 19 Sep 2023 20:21:07 GMT

@Malcontent wrote:
What does an Italian have when one arm is shorter than the other?

A speech impediment.

“I don’t have to make sense. I’m Italian!”
Gina Lollobrigida in Come September.

@Malcontent

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Re: Bad Jokes R Us

just bee — Tue, 19 Sep 2023 20:21:45 GMT

What do you call a canine magician?

A labracadabrador.

Re: Bad Jokes R Us

Malcontent — Tue, 19 Sep 2023 20:34:01 GMT

@just bee

What do you call an Italian with no hands?

Mute.

“I don’t have to make sense. I’m Italian!”

Gina Lollobrigida in Come September.

Re: Bad Jokes R Us

just bee — Tue, 19 Sep 2023 20:52:13 GMT

@Malcontent wrote:
@just bee

What do you call an Italian with no hands?

Mute.

“I don’t have to make sense. I’m Italian!”
Gina Lollobrigida in Come September.

@Malcontent

Very similar to the classic:

How to you silence an Italian? You tie their hands behind their back.

Apparently you are another Italian who isn't offended by Italian jokes. Apparently I'm an Italian who speaks with her hands. (I confess.)

Re: Bad Jokes R Us

Malcontent — Tue, 19 Sep 2023 21:07:54 GMT

@just bee

The Italian hand jokes are funny because they are true. It’s in our DNA -- we Italians speak with our hands and sometimes our feet too. lol.

Re: Bad Jokes R Us

just bee — Tue, 19 Sep 2023 21:09:59 GMT

@Malcontent wrote:
@just bee

The Italian hand jokes are funny because they are true. It’s in our DNA -- we Italians speak with our hands and sometimes our feet too. lol.

@Malcontent

Speaking of DNA...