topic Re: Assisted Living Advice in Among Friends

Assisted Living Advice

bonnielu — Tue, 15 Aug 2023 13:23:55 GMT

Neighbor whose friendship we cherish. Our neighborhood is changing. Older forks like ourselves are moving out and being replaced by younger generations. Those of us left are holding on to what we know and love. Recently our best friends and next door neighbors told us they were looking into a retirement communities in three states. House keep up, stairs, help with repairs, etc the reasons. I listen carefully and I hear all about them having to give up most of what they own to be in a retirement facility. My mother was one of these who moved and then lost everything to some plan.

I guess my question is: Can older couples find a way to avoid handing over a lfetime of savings (that they collected and earned) just to be in a place that gives them what they need in their "golden years." Are all places TAKE IT ALL ending up with nothing left.

I am not trying to save inheritance for my children although it would seem that our funds should go to them and not some housing facility. There has got to be some plan or program or help making a good decision.

Anyone have advice.

Re: Assisted Living Advice

millieshops — Tue, 15 Aug 2023 13:35:14 GMT

@bonnielu Not all facilities require a buy in. When you are asked for major upfront money, make certain you understand what you're buying and that the company you're buying into has a good credit rating. The financials are at least as important as the services and appearance of where you'll live!

Even then, make certain you and whoever who want to leave money for understand how much of your buy will come back to you plus when and how to apply for it. Don't assume - make certain you understand the legal financial details. Not knowing is the surest way to lose big money!

Re: Assisted Living Advice

Ainhisg — Tue, 15 Aug 2023 13:52:53 GMT

Yes, consult an estate planning attorney. You can get a specific kind of trust, and after 5 years, Medicaid can't touch anything in the trust. We preserved our parents estate and money by doing this.

Re: Assisted Living Advice

ValuSkr — Tue, 15 Aug 2023 14:07:28 GMT

You could rent a flat - no stairs and maintenance is handled by the landlord. What could be easier? If you need assistance, say for meals or personal, hire an aide.

Re: Assisted Living Advice

eadu4 — Tue, 15 Aug 2023 13:55:50 GMT

@bonnielu I lucked out. And many will not have this option and it's not for them but the stars actually aligned for me (a first lol). My daughter was building a new house and one of the plans had an in-law suite option. She asked if we were interested in going in on the house and since all we have seen is our 401K shrinking we said "yes". We sold our house July of 2022 and never looked back. I have my grandkids next door and I love every minute. It's a separate front entance, the basements are linked via a door that can be locked. It's worked out perfect. We are separate but still together. Again it won't work for many but it worked for us. We don't have the funds for "assisted living" and knew in the end our house would end up needing work that would drain us. We still work so we can contribute and pay our way.

I watched my aunt hand over $10,000 and more a month for her assisted living for years (she sold her home on Maine oceanfront property). And even that wasn't enough. She ran out of money shortly before she died. I am blessed and thankful for how it worked for me. We only moved 6 minutes from our former house. But gained 11.5 acres in the process. That was the only thing we had open to us. It is a sad reality and it breaks my heart reading these stories of people who are paying so much or worse have no where to go.

Re: Assisted Living Advice

Mom2Dogs — Tue, 15 Aug 2023 14:03:04 GMT

At some point I might be faced with a similar issue as there is a large age gap between me and my husband, me being younger. Our house is on two floors - we have lived in the same home our entire married life 40+years. All bedooms are on the 2nd floor.

Housing is so expensive so if my husand would die before me I will be tasked with most likely finding a smaller place to live, upkeep is also an issue.

In my area we don't have the facilities where you 'buy in'. Out right purchase is what is available, There is one nice area that are small detached homes and condos. They are pretty small less that 1500 sq feet, and typically they are snatched up as soon as they come on the market.

I did see recently in our local paper that a nursing home will be building small homes beside the nursing home facility... from what I understand these will be a 'buy in' and when needed you can leave the detached home and have a space inside the nursing home if needed.

That is probably several years down the road but if need be I could look into that...since I don't have kids or family nearby, I try to always have my ducks in a row, I don't like being caught with my pants down...so to speak.

I think most people buy into the facilites so that everything is taken care of for them and they don't have those particular worries. If there is money left for their children, fine if not...so be it. I sure would not worry about children receiving money after death.

Re: Assisted Living Advice

D Kay — Tue, 15 Aug 2023 14:04:55 GMT

There are many assisted living facilities that don't require upfront money. There are also lots of services that are available for in- home care, other than home health care, that would allow you to stay in your home as long as you're physically able to. I agree that talking to estate planning attorney would be helpful as well as your local agencies that provide such services.

Re: Assisted Living Advice

sugarbee — Tue, 15 Aug 2023 14:16:05 GMT

In years past there were all kinds of financial options for independent living and assisted living.

Today, in most independent living retirement centers there is a buy in with no return as well as a large monthly fee - both are based on the apartment size selection and ammenities.

Normally in assisted living facilties you pay monthly fees based on levels of care.

The financial owners of these facilities normally own many others throughout the country. If they do not see a profit on owning an establishment they sell out.

People interested need to visit various centers, take a tour, have lunch and talk to residents and family members. They are all regulated by the State's Social Services agency so you can review facilities' inspection reports on line.

It is a very hard decision to make for prospects and their families. They should not wait till there is a need. They should start looking ahead of time.

Others like to stay in their own home and pay for the chores and care as needed.

Re: Assisted Living Advice

kaydee50 — Tue, 15 Aug 2023 14:55:10 GMT

I would definitely avoid so called "life care" communities that involve a large buy in and a hefty monthly fee. My SIL was in such a place. It was a not for profit and had been in business for over a century. Thought it would never go out of business. But it did. Bought by a "for profit" company which has since sold it to another "for profit."

My SIL died before all this occurred. I cannot imagine what has happened to those residents who thought they were set for life.

I would look into an independent "active adult" community that also offers assisted care if needed. Otherwise, as a previous poster noted, rent or buy an apartment and hire people on an as needed basis.

Re: Assisted Living Advice

Sooner — Tue, 15 Aug 2023 15:01:06 GMT

@Ainhisg wrote:
Yes, consult an estate planning attorney. You can get a specific kind of trust, and after 5 years, Medicaid can't touch anything in the trust. We preserved our parents estate and money by doing this.

@Ainhisg Can't stress enough: Get a lawyer.

Re: Assisted Living Advice

chrystaltree — Tue, 15 Aug 2023 15:50:43 GMT

You need an estate planning attorney. There are many different options, depending on where you live and how much money you have. There are public options, private options. My sister lives in a retirement/disabled apartment community. It is not assisted living. The market rent for a 1 bedroom is $6000. There are subsidized units, based on income end assets. My sister pays $900 a month. 30% of her income. She has a housekeeper in twice a week and a home health aide once a week. The state pays for that. So she's able to live independently and well. Hubby and I will be on our own to take care of ourselves. We're ok with that. We do have a plan. Leaving money to our kids is NOT an option. It's not in the plan and they know that. We paid their college tuitions and helped with the down payments on their homes. We helped pay for their weddings. They will inherit love, family momentos and maybe some jewelry. Also we won't have to ask for assistance from them which is also our gift to them.

Re: Assisted Living Advice

docsgirl — Tue, 15 Aug 2023 16:40:04 GMT

I live in a lovely condo community where everything is on one level. There is an attached garage that leads right into the laundry area. Outside maintainence is taken care of. There is a fenced in patio and a covered front porch where I read and enjoy my morning coffee. It's like a house but all on one level. At the age of 77, I still work by choice, and feel very safe here now and as I age. I do have Long Term Care Insurance that can be used should I require in-home care.

Re: Assisted Living Advice

lgfan — Tue, 15 Aug 2023 16:47:16 GMT

@docsgirl wrote:
I live in a lovely condo community where everything is on one level. There is an attached garage that leads right into the laundry area. Outside maintainence is taken care of. There is a fenced in patio and a covered front porch where I read and enjoy my morning coffee. It's like a house but all on one level. At the age of 77, I still work by choice, and feel very safe here now and as I age. I do have Long Term Care Insurance that can be used should I require in-home care.

May I ask how much you pay for the Long Term Case Insurance because I am looking into it myself.

Re: Assisted Living Advice

cotton4me — Wed, 16 Aug 2023 00:54:20 GMT

I live in a Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC) which requires a buy-in. It’s a non-profit and church affiliated. They take care of you for life. If you run out of money their foundation covers the cost. I do not have long-term care insurance, so I view this as insurance of sorts. I’m in independent living and if I move to assisted living or nursing care my monthly rate will not change.

The costs depend on the apartment size. I have the smallest one-bedroom (600 sq ft) which helps keep costs down. They have everything from studio apartments to 3-bedrooms. While the up-front costs are a lot it’s used for lifetime care which includes nursing care.

There’s an online article at US News & World Report that compares different options about where to live as you age. It’s entitled, “7 Housing Options for Seniors”.

US News & World Report also has an online article entitled, “US News Reveals the 2022-2023 Best Senior Living Ratings”. You enter your zip code, and it will give the ratings for everything in the area.

Where I live has the highest rating and a long waitlist to get in. It takes years to get in, so you need to plan early, before you need them. My husband died while we were on the waitlist.

Re: Assisted Living Advice

Shanus — Tue, 15 Aug 2023 17:35:28 GMT

@docsgirl @lgfan We have long term care insurance that we purchased in our late 50's/early 60s. It does get more expensive if you purchase when you're older.

We plan to downsize to a house/condo/apartment on one floor and if necessary, our insurane any nursing care we'd need until a nursing home is needed.

Re: Assisted Living Advice

sabatini — Tue, 15 Aug 2023 17:42:53 GMT

Is there an Atria Senior Living community near you?

You basically rent an apartment that includes 3 meals/day, housekeeping,

transportation to & from doc appointments, games, holiday parties, field trips, etc.

Each location is different, of course, some better than others.

Good luck!

Re: Assisted Living Advice

patbz — Tue, 15 Aug 2023 18:09:40 GMT

I know LTC insurance has definitely increased a lot since we bought ours 20 years ago, and it increases as you age ( even if you did buy it before age 60). We are both in our mid to late 70s and pay about $5000 between us. Sounds like a lot but that's maybe one month of care in a nursing home for one, not two people. We view it as insurance and hope we never need it.

Re: Assisted Living Advice

Growing — Tue, 15 Aug 2023 20:05:42 GMT

Well, it all depends on one's health and the care one needs towards the end of life. If one needs total care, it is more expensive. But there are many options towards assisted living or independent living facilities.

One could try to live in one's own home while paying for 24/7 care. Have a bathroom remodeled to accomodate a wheelchair, doorways widened, etc. This option sometimes eliminates the social needs we have. Alone in our homes, with a caregiver, means we might be isolated and alone. Living in an assisted living is more group care if we need 24/7 care. Maybe by then we don't care.

I thought Medicare does not pay for long term care? One can try to protect one's assets way ahead of time depending on one's state laws. That might allow one to get medicaid for a nursing home bed but these are the worst kind to get. Better to spend one's money on a decent nursing home.

If one lives the average age at death in the USA, 85-95 years old, then any health challenges we might have will likely mean years of some kind of care.

Re: Assisted Living Advice

On It — Tue, 15 Aug 2023 21:42:32 GMT

If you are looking for affordable 55+ living, check out Las Vegas, Summerlin, or Henderson. (No state income tax, low property tax.) There are active adult Del Webb type communities with all the self-contained amenities. There are apartment complexes for seniors and mobile home communities.

I checked for assisted living and skilled nursing care. There were many near the Summerlin Del Webb community. A hospital was nearby. We decided the area had a larger population than we desired, but I was impressed with the communities, restaurants, shopping, groceries, and entertainment offerings that I had explored online. It is worth a look. Our search was two years ago, so I do not know current prices.

Re: Assisted Living Advice

ECBG — Tue, 15 Aug 2023 23:02:04 GMT

I have seen small 2 street condo neighborhoods that seem perfect with a visiting health professional.

My step grandmother bought into a wonderful retirement community that gave a "step up plan". There were wide streets to walk on.

They had separate cottages, then a floor, with a large LR, bath and kitchenette. The dining room was beautiful and served 3 meals daily. The next phase was higher care and a bedroom with a bathroom. She shared with a woman.

When she passed, she didn't have hardly anything.