topic Re: opinions in Among Friends

opinions

Group 5 minus 1 — Fri, 12 May 2023 13:04:32 GMT

Are just that. Many people as children were taught one could only say something good,nothing negative. Just becuz someone disagrees w/you does not mean you are bad or that they are bad.

If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen.

Re: opinions

FranandZoe — Fri, 12 May 2023 13:22:52 GMT

And it doesn't mean you are being rude if you have a dissenting opinion.

Re: opinions

QVCkitty1 — Fri, 12 May 2023 13:35:11 GMT

It depends on the opinion and the tone. If the opinion is despicable , judgement is reasonable.

Re: opinions

Othereeeen — Fri, 12 May 2023 13:34:24 GMT

@Group 5 minus 1

Disagreement is good...but it doesn't have to be viscious or personal....in fact, only the ignorant have to bring others down to make thier point....and it's usually the last time anyone listens to them.....

If we were all the same, thought the same, beleived the same, dressed the same, drove the same car, ate the same food, wore our hair in the same style, were all one color or one religion, it would be on SERIOUSLY BORING WORLD.

And opinions are like the terminal end of an alimentary canal....EVERYBODY has one!!!!

And as most of us learned early, it's not WHAT you say, it's HOW you say it.

Re: opinions

LindaSal — Fri, 12 May 2023 13:43:13 GMT

Agree, also many times people take offense when none was meant. You can't perceive a "tone" when you are not physically with that person. In that respect there's a lot of attitude at times for no reason.

Re: opinions

Venezia — Fri, 12 May 2023 14:18:47 GMT

Just wondering what brought this topic on? The "can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen" comment?

Did I miss something while I wasn't online?

In the spirit of this thread, however: I don't expect everyone to agree with everyone else, but I think there are polite ways to disagree. I don't accept some of the vitriol and personal attacks I've seen on these boards.

Disagreement is fine; it just shouldn't be allowed to descend to personal bullying and name calling. JMO.

Re: opinions

Desert Lily — Fri, 12 May 2023 14:52:33 GMT

Writing definitely has tone.

This is from Grammerly:

Tone in writing is the attitude your words employ. Just like tone of voice, tone in writing gives much more context beyond the words used.

Some posters tire of negative or nasty or bullying tones. And perhaps those that employ those types of tones will be the only ones left posting online to banter with each other.

Re: opinions

millieshops — Fri, 12 May 2023 15:31:22 GMT

@Venezia Agree and I try to provide a basis for my opinions because without that basis the opinion (here and everywhere else I find is pretty much just so much hot air.

Re: opinions

manny2 — Fri, 12 May 2023 15:38:47 GMT

The minute someone says I don’t think a post should contain this or that. It’s a problem. It’s all about filter and perception. What one sees as nasty might not be to another. Just post your opinion, and if you decide to banter with another poster don’t start accusing them of attacking you.

If you can dish it out, you better be able to take it.

I find just a different opinion turns the post nasty. Especially with certain subjects.

Re: opinions

Desertdi — Fri, 12 May 2023 17:17:16 GMT

Well, I wish posters would quit describing a garment as "hideous"...when I just ordered one in every color

Re: opinions

pupwhipped — Fri, 12 May 2023 17:38:12 GMT

LOL! Good one, @Desertdi.

Re: opinions

Oznell — Fri, 12 May 2023 17:58:30 GMT

To me, there are several different dimensions to this.

If people are discussing public figures, for example, who have done things one finds objectionable, then it's fine to express that. That's free speech, and it's vitally essential. I personally would stop short of calling names, attaching vile epithets to them, etc. That debases the critique, in my opinion. Keep things on a rational, reasoned and factual basis.

As far as interpersonal discussions-- I won't say anything to anyone online, that I wouldn't say if we were having a face-to-face conversation. That automatically rules out personal attacks, impugning the motives of the other person, and a lot of the other stuff that so sabotages communication.

I'll disagree (and do disagree intensely, with SO much that is expressed on social media, here, there and everywhere) in the realm of ideas, all day long. But there has to be a rock-bottom respect or tacit acknowledgment of each other as human beings.

If there isn't at least that, I quickly lose interest in whatever the conversation is, and disengage, like I would if someone behaved that way in real life.

Just the self-imposed rules that allow me to feel good, and not sorry, about how I interact in the world.

Re: opinions

Jacie — Fri, 12 May 2023 19:37:27 GMT

What is funny to me, is that some of the posters who really need to read and absorb this thread, won't!

Re: opinions

hckynutjohn — Fri, 12 May 2023 20:48:01 GMT

@Group 5 minus 1

Easy to agree. Each person's opinion is just that, nothing more. Unfortunately, the world around us has changed. Seems to be next to impossible to have a different opinion than others.

As opposed to having good opposing views, and friendly discussions! Once the other's opinion differs, some resort to end the discussion, or worse, inject name calling or borderline slanderous statements.

Only a couple topics that are hard for me to "butt out". Had many differences of opinions and ideas most of my life, and with people in all walks of life. My facts usually ended most of them in my favor. Now!!!

hckynut 🇺🇸

Re: opinions

Regal Bee — Fri, 12 May 2023 20:29:03 GMT

Differing opinions are fine with me but it is NOT what you say but how you say it.

There is no excuse for rude and unkind remarks. A point can be made without harshness. That is my opinion.

Re: opinions

hckynutjohn — Fri, 12 May 2023 21:07:52 GMT

@Venezia wrote:
Just wondering what brought this topic on? The "can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen" comment?
****************************
Did I miss something while I wasn't online?

@Venezia

Not that I know anything about. To me it is just the present life around me, and many others, especially in our country.

I am not into "polite" or "roberts rules", or other similar things when it comes to conversing. This is the way I have been all my adult life, and even my teens. Can get along with most people without "please/sir" or similar verbs/adverbs or pronouns.

Differing opinions via text! Is a whole different world than doing it via phone. And far from the best way, which is face to face. Typed words have little feeling other than the words themselves. 3 people reading the same words can interpret them in 3 different ways, and both ends of what an author actually meant. Long enough,

hckynut 🇺🇸
*************************************************

In the spirit of this thread, however: I don't expect everyone to agree with everyone else, but I think there are polite ways to disagree. I don't accept some of the vitriol and personal attacks I've seen on these boards.

Disagreement is fine; it just shouldn't be allowed to descend to personal bullying and name calling. JMO.

Re: opinions

shoesnbags — Fri, 12 May 2023 21:11:15 GMT

It's not a differing opinion that causes the problem; it's how the opinion is expressed.

Re: opinions

CalminHeart — Sat, 20 May 2023 11:19:08 GMT

@FranandZoe wrote:
And it doesn't mean you are being rude if you have a dissenting opinion.

Sadly, that's how too many people take it and is the reason many posts get poofed.

One has to wear their big girl/boy pants when posting anywhere.

Re: opinions

CalminHeart — Sat, 20 May 2023 11:20:12 GMT

@QVCkitty1 wrote:
It depends on the opinion and the tone. If the opinion is despicable , judgement is reasonable.

Most of the time, people read their own narratives in someone else's post or comment by a host.

Re: opinions

Luvsmyfam — Sat, 20 May 2023 12:33:46 GMT

@Venezia Well said!