topic Re: My Dad in Among Friends

My Dad

Karnerblue — Sat, 20 Feb 2016 19:47:22 GMT

He's under hospice care now but home. I stopped to see him and spent a couple hours just sitting with him holding his hand. He slept most of the time but would open his eyes now and then. I kept telling him over and over how much I love him. My sisters keep saying he does not know who is who, but today it was just him and I and the nurse. Before I left I kept trying to get him to just open his eyes and finally he did. I told him I had to go but I'd be back and he kind of just glared off staring into space, and then I repeated "Dad I love you more than anything" and he looked right at me and smiled and said "I like your face." I burst into tears. I don't care what anyone tells me, he may not remember my name or even that I'm his daughter, but I know he knows of me.

Even the nurse teared up. I thanked her for taking care of him. She's an angel and a godsend. She really is. She says she loves him like a father. We are lucky to have such good caretakers. I have to say a special prayer for her tonight.

Re: My Dad

fortune — Sat, 20 Feb 2016 20:03:44 GMT

@Karnerblue wrote:
He's under hospice care now but home. I stopped to see him and spent a couple hours just sitting with him holding his hand. He slept most of the time but would open his eyes now and then. I kept telling him over and over how much I love him. My sisters keep saying he does not know who is who, but today it was just him and I and the nurse. Before I left I kept trying to get him to just open his eyes and finally he did. I told him I had to go but I'd be back and he kind of just glared off staring into space, and then I repeated "Dad I love you more than anything" and he looked right at me and smiled and said "I like your face." I burst into tears. I don't care what anyone tells me, he may not remember my name or even that I'm his daughter, but I know he knows of me.

Even the nurse teared up. I thanked her for taking care of him. She's an angel and a godsend. She really is. She says she loves him like a father. We are lucky to have such good caretakers. I have to say a special prayer for her tonight.

I'm so glad you are able to be with your father now. I'm sure he hears you tell him you love him. I know it means a lot to you, too. You and your dad are so lucky to have a nurse who really cares for him as a person not just a patient. He can feel her loving presence, too. Bless you and your family as you go through this journey together with love.

Re: My Dad

gmkb — Sat, 20 Feb 2016 20:16:37 GMT

It is good you got to spend that time with your father. I'm sure on some level he knew it was you. God bless.

Re: My Dad

3cupcakes — Sat, 20 Feb 2016 20:19:03 GMT

@Karnerblue Sending prayers for your dad, you, & his heaven sent nursing care.

Re: My Dad

Karnerblue — Sat, 20 Feb 2016 20:27:30 GMT

@gmkb, my heart tells me he does.

Re: My Dad

Karnerblue — Sat, 20 Feb 2016 20:28:33 GMT

@3cupcakes thank you for your prayers.

Re: My Dad

tedEbear — Sat, 20 Feb 2016 20:31:13 GMT

@Karnerblue-----Your heart does know!!! A DU in a home always tell DA that is very pretty. He talks to the nurses about "the pretty lady" I'll bet your dad does the same.

Prayers for the whole family and his caregivers. ted

Re: My Dad

qualitygal — Sat, 20 Feb 2016 20:32:54 GMT

@Karnerblue, the last time I was with my dad, we held hands too and there were no words, we just held hands and looked at each other. So I know how that feels. He knew you were kind to him there and that made him peaceful. That's about what we are able to get and we talk to them with our eyes and hands. I loved it. Prayers for you both and the rest of your loved ones.

Re: My Dad

jubilant — Sat, 20 Feb 2016 20:40:19 GMT

It is amazing what kind of message people can send by just a touch or a look. These moments with your Father are precious. You will have them forever. I said a prayer for you both.

Re: My Dad

ladyroxanne — Sat, 20 Feb 2016 20:43:45 GMT

@Karnerblue

your post really touched me. i'm sure that in some way your dad knows you are there and i have no doubt that he knows that you love him very much and i'm sure that he loves you, too.

i'm saying a prayer for the both of you. i know how hard it is to lose a parent, but that is how it is meant to be. you will be with him again some day. please keep that in mind.

take good care and keep us posted. hugs

Re: My Dad

Karnerblue — Sat, 20 Feb 2016 21:06:36 GMT

@ladyroxanne, @jubilant, @qualitygal, @tedEbear thank you all a million times over. It was an awesome day ... I'll never forget it. I even talked with him about our many fishing trips as a young girl, the time of my life I treasure the most. When I asked him if he remembered, he said "no." But I told him that's OK ... I'll remember for the both of us. He said "OK" and just smiled.

Re: My Dad

hoosieroriginal — Sat, 20 Feb 2016 22:29:57 GMT

They know you are there. The nurses used to say, talk loud, she can still hear you. My mother was in a coma and when her sister came to see her I said "Mother, your sister is here" and the biggest smile came across her face - eyes closed. Just enjoy his company as much as you can - these are moments you will always remember. Bless his caretaker, she is an angel.

Re: My Dad

susan kay — Sat, 20 Feb 2016 23:38:41 GMT

What a loving, caring daughter. Your dad may not remember some of the stories you are sharing, but your being there and sharing those stories, I'm sure, is touching his heart. Bless you both.

Re: My Dad

MarieIG — Sat, 20 Feb 2016 23:42:04 GMT

@Karnerblue your spending time with your father brought him peace and happiness.

People do not always have the same level of understanding, but it is often possible to sooth and comfort them. Towards the end, my father did not always understand who I was, but he knew I was someone who loved him. His face would light up when he saw me.

Those trips to be with ill loved ones are not easy ones. After my father was in a coma, I still went to visit him, speak to him, read to him, touch his face and kiss his cheek until he passed.

Re: My Dad

Frosted Cake — Sun, 21 Feb 2016 00:00:19 GMT

Karnerblue,

My heart goes out to you! I lost my Dad too at hospice. It's not easy. The one thing that carried me though was he knew he wasn't alone. That is the gift you're giving him.

I found it so hard too to leave his side. I wanted to be there 24/7, but knew I couldn't.

Hospice is a wonderful service. The people who do the caregiving are such special individuals.

Bless you. Be with your Dad, I know my Dad knew I was at his side.

Take care dear!

Re: My Dad

Bestdressed — Sun, 21 Feb 2016 00:17:27 GMT

@Karnerblue ... What touching experience. I think he knows you, but couldn't remember your name. I am glad you received such a positive response from your father... it means so much to the both of you. You are a wonderful caring daughter... sending positive thoughts and prayers to you and your father.

Re: My Dad

DarlingDino — Sun, 21 Feb 2016 00:51:34 GMT

I am postitive your father knew you were there and heard your words. I believe we are spirits residing temporay in our physical bodies and then passing into the other world after death. I believe our spirit is whole and cannot die, so even though the body is not well or capable, our spirit would be sound and capable of understanding. His spirit is still here and so he is still here. And he is whole in spirit and so he knows!! Hope I dont offend anyone and I know not everyone will believe as I do, I understand. So speak to him how you would if they believed He was listening, cause he is!! you know it and you are right.

Re: My Dad

January121 — Sun, 21 Feb 2016 01:10:52 GMT

@Karnerblue .... visit him often & cherish every moment you spend with him .... he hears you so keep telling him how much you love him .... the journey you are on is not an easy one but, with God's help you will get through it .... I said a prayer for you both.

May God Bless you.

Re: My Dad

lucieinthesky — Sun, 21 Feb 2016 01:11:12 GMT

I had a very similar experience with my Dad when he went to Hospice. He was in renal failure and would pretty much be his usual self during the day, but at night, he would become very agitated and disoriented. He would call me by my mother's name. The doctors told us that it was due to toxins in the body building up since the kidneys were unable to completely rid the body of those toxins. Anyway, one night I was there with him by myself and just before I left, I leaned over to give him a kiss goodnight and he said "you are so pretty". Well, I was so shocked - never in all the years since my mother had passed away had he ever made any reference to my looks. I naturally assumed he thought I was my mother. So, I leaned over close to him again and said to him ,"who am I?" Without any hesitation, he said, " you are my Susanah and I will always know you and I will watch over you". Well, I just burst into tears -- he knew me. That was the last thing he ever said to me because he passed away later in the night without waking.

Re: My Dad

bichon mom — Sun, 21 Feb 2016 01:57:49 GMT

Karnerblue, sorry to hear the news about your dad. But I have to say that hospice is just wonderful. They are very supportive and always there when you need them. My dad was in hospice for 6 months before he passed. I think that talking to your dad is good. Just continue to follow your heart. I talked to my dad even when he went into a coma-like state. I really don't know if he heard me ,but if he did , there were things I wanted to say. I was the only one there when he passed and I couldn't be more thankful that he wasn't alone. Take care of yourself. I will keep him in my prayers.