topic Re: The Valentines Day Thing in Among Friends

The Valentines Day Thing

Puzzle Piece — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 16:42:32 GMT

We've been marrried going on 34 years in April. We have always acknowledged one another on Valentines Day with a card, a dinner, and I receive some flowers. A present isn't necessary for me.

I certainly get the jabs from others about the kindness my husband shows me that day. Such unhappy people. It is no wonder that they don't have a Valentine to remember them. I am middle aged and those females that are my age group and some younger are sure bitter about the whole Valentine thing. I hear the insults because they want me to hear them. Like, well, that bunch of flowers only cost......., only paid $50 for dinner???, what sappy sentiment did your card say? I don't share what we did or what I received but they sure trash us gals who got remembered and thought of in nice ways.
Why be so nasty?

Re: The Valentines Day Thing

itsmagic — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 16:45:20 GMT

Sounds like they are jealous of you!

Re: The Valentines Day Thing

Zhills — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 16:45:36 GMT

ENVY!

Consider yourself blessed and enjoy your day!

Re: The Valentines Day Thing

Peaches McPhee — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 16:46:04 GMT

Sorry you are getting that reaction. My crowd doesn't even talk about V Day, one way or another - it is such a non-issue. Your experience is so strange -- it is like something out of high school or a Real Housewives episode.

Re: The Valentines Day Thing

tansy — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 16:57:10 GMT

Why even discuss your Valentine's Day with other people?

Re: The Valentines Day Thing

ladyroxanne — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 16:57:31 GMT

pure jealousy @Puzzle Piece

enjoy your day and don't give the naysayers a second thought.

Re: The Valentines Day Thing

hoosieroriginal — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 17:04:42 GMT

Most husbands and boyfriends aren't as considerate as yours - jealousy!

Re: The Valentines Day Thing

Noel7 — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 17:14:38 GMT

@Puzzle Piece

I know how you feel, I've had the same reaction from a couple of people. I never knew there were so many bitter people around.

I think it's best not to let them in on what your celebration is like, they will only look for something nasty to say. If they ask, just smile and tell them you will be having a private celebration.

Re: The Valentines Day Thing

Noel7 — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 17:18:37 GMT

@Peaches McPhee wrote:
Sorry you are getting that reaction. My crowd doesn't even talk about V Day, one way or another - it is such a non-issue. Your experience is so strange -- it is like something out of high school or a Real Housewives episode.

***********************

Why would you say that? It's insulting. It's also not something strange, I have the same kind of celebration with my husband.

Re: The Valentines Day Thing

blackhole99 — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 17:28:48 GMT

When my husband and I were newly married he would send flowers to me at work on V Day and believe me the gals were jealous. I had to tell him to leave the flowers at home because it was causing me problems. After 41 years he's still very thoughtful,that's just the way he is. Lucky me.

Re: The Valentines Day Thing

chrystaltree — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 17:35:33 GMT

Sounds like you hang out with a bunch of jealous, lonely women. Ignore them. My Valentines Day experience re my women friends is just the opposite. Sometimes hubby and I do it up big, sometimes we just exchange cards and small gifts. We always do something. I have girlfriends who are single, divorced, widowed and not a single one has ever made a snice remark or tried to belittle my Valentines Day. In fact, I'm a little jealous of them...lol I never get invited...lol My single friends started the tradition of going out together for lunch or a nice dinner on Valentines Day. They get all dressed up and exchange cards and little token gifts. The group changes, depending on who is dating someone that year or not. I know some other women who do something similar. A woman I work with, hosts a "singleton" Valentines Day get together at her house every year. She invites her single friends, guys and ladies. It's not meant as a fix-up thing; it's just for fun and food.

Re: The Valentines Day Thing

Mominohio — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 17:35:54 GMT

You hear these things because these other women are envious or hurt.

Women, in my opinion, are way too romantic, and it seems to get worse with each generation. Movies, literature, and society try to tell us that every holiday and event should involve showering people with gifts and food, and attention.

And many women buy into that. If they don't get a gift, flowers, a dinner or at the very least a card, then they are any combination of hurt, jealous, disappointed, and angry.

I think many fail to see the bigger picture. Is it more important to get showered with gifts at regular intervals and on specific dates each year, or is it more important that one has a strong relationship? That a man goes out to work and support his family year in and year out. That a man notices that things need doing around the house and just does them. That a man is a loving father and spends quality time with his kids. That a man stands by us when we need someone to hold our hand during a medical procedure or to get through the death of a loved one.

I've admitted before that I'm not much of a romantic, and I really don't have a lot of sympathy for women who get all riled up over one single holiday. I know it hurts to never be remembered, or anything given seems like a last minute thoughtless attempt. And I know that happens to many. Some then lash out (like at the OP).

I would not discuss my events and gifts with them, as I might just have to consider that their feelings are hurt, and they aren't mature enough to just be happy for me, and glad that I had this joy in my life.

Re: The Valentines Day Thing

Karnerblue — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 17:45:53 GMT

Ignore them, take joy in what you and your husband have. Concentrate on that love for each other.

Re: The Valentines Day Thing

Puzzle Piece — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 17:48:49 GMT

@tansy @Peaches I don't go out of my way to mention my gifts or goings on. Those folks ask and I will share in honesty.

I agree with the posters who wrote that others are coming from hurt and envy and jealousy. Hurt makes folks become nasty monsters at times. I think all the hype about the Romance, Love, and whatever, is just that - hype. Maybe many buy into the whole sales pitches of it all. My husband is dear to my heart and I know he cherishes me. That is more important that ONE day to make a display of it. We celebrate in our own ways daily.

Re: The Valentines Day Thing

Noel7 — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 18:14:27 GMT

I just gave myself a new sig line. A saying that was imprinted on the inside of a bite size Dove chocolate heart wrapper.

I really like the idea, it's all about being good to yourself, kind of like the party of friends mentioned in an earlier post on this line.

Re: The Valentines Day Thing

Goldengate8361 — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 18:33:56 GMT

That's really odd that your friends would react that way. Nobody I hang around with has that attitude. If I were you, I'd question my friendship with them. True friends are always very happy for friends when good things (i.e. kindess) come to them.

Re: The Valentines Day Thing

Peaches McPhee — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 19:17:08 GMT

@Noel7 wrote:
@Peaches McPhee wrote:
Sorry you are getting that reaction. My crowd doesn't even talk about V Day, one way or another - it is such a non-issue. Your experience is so strange -- it is like something out of high school or a Real Housewives episode.

***********************

Why would you say that? It's insulting. It's also not something strange, I have the same kind of celebration with my husband.

@Noel7, I mean the reaction the OP is getting from others -- the envy and snide comments. Not the OP's experience herself.

Re: The Valentines Day Thing

hckynutjohn — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 19:33:44 GMT

Hi Love Roses,

Valentines day is our anniversary. I picked that day to add some happy memories in my life. Until our wedding day, Valentines day for me brought a lot of sadness.

I have never and will never let any negative people, of any age, change what and how I feel on Valentines Day, February the 14th. Those types of people are totally and completely irrelevant in my life,

hckynut(john)

Re: The Valentines Day Thing

tedEbear — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 19:42:05 GMT

When I was a young thing and could not leave my Mother. OH WAIT that's a song. Anyway when I was at work in a jewelery store as a teen, there was a lovely lady working for the eye doctor. Her new boyriend brought in flowers all the time. One day he asked if I got flowers. NO way, that's too silly. His next pay he brought in a bouquet of wild flowers FOR ME and a bouquet of ROSES for his soon to be fiancee. I thought he was so romantic and she was so NOT jealous. My BF (DH) didn't do flowers

After 9/11 he found a job (DH) as a delivery man for a florist. GET READY FOR THIS---------everyday for 3 years, I received Roses and more roses and other flowers EVERY DAY!!!!!!!!!!

Talk about cheapskate! He DID NOT steal them, they were trashing them because, the outer leaves were turning brown, stems wilting.

Spending time everyday with this man is all the Valentine I need.

We will go to a burger joint, or pizza, and in the evening of FEBRUARY 14,2016, the most wonderful thing will happen.

WALKING DEAD BACK ON!!!!!!!!----------tedEbear

Re: The Valentines Day Thing

dex — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 19:53:59 GMT

Hey I have been married 40 years and never a valentines gift...I told my DH that other men are buying nice things and he said"I am not changing what works"....that man?!Enjoy your gifts and more importanty the gift of love and happiness.