topic Re: "Getting Old Is Awful" in Among Friends

"Getting Old Is Awful"

BeccaLou — Sat, 15 Jan 2022 05:17:10 GMT

Anyone out there as lonely as I am?. Very Lost.And the Pandemic is making a lot worse.

Re: "Getting Old Is Awful"

Kachina624 — Sat, 15 Jan 2022 05:33:34 GMT

@BeccaLou Rest assured there are many people out there as lonely as you. Its a neck of a way to spend your senior years, isn't it? A dirty trick if you ask me.

I've been sitting here isolated and alone for about 2 years with just the company of 2 dogs and a visit from the AC repairman. All my friends have died or moved away and there's no opportunity to meet new people. My closest relative is almost 2,000 miles away. Thank goodness for the social contacts I have here on the boards with many great women and good friends.

Hang in there and when you're in the mood, come here or to a site of your choice and chat.

Re: "Getting Old Is Awful"

Mustang Shar — Sat, 15 Jan 2022 05:57:07 GMT

Yes, this pandemic has taken its toll on people and messed with us mentally. Isolation is horrific and sorry you are having a difficult time.

My 3 dogs give me great comfort and new grandson will be born next month. That makes staying home worth it, to keep my daughters family well when I visit.

Do you have a pet? Maybe even a parakeet would bring you cheer. Any family nearby? Maybe take up knitting, you can learn watching Utube. Hang in there, we've got each other .

Re: "Getting Old Is Awful"

Goodie2shoes — Sat, 15 Jan 2022 06:03:50 GMT

Believe me I know the feeling ! Not much to do but watch TV and shop online. Hang in there, we will get through this !

Re: "Getting Old Is Awful"

Goldengate8361 — Sat, 15 Jan 2022 06:09:49 GMT

@BeccaLou Loneliness is incredibly common, I think. Its ashamed, too, because it just seems so hard to meet new friends when you work all the time (now at home, which makes it worse). I live alone with cats; no nearby family or spouse or close friends nearby....and I happen to be very nice, friendly, and fun if I may say so myself. That's just the way it is, I guess.

Re: "Getting Old Is Awful"

hckynutjohn — Sat, 15 Jan 2022 06:27:05 GMT

@BeccaLou

Have read a lot of posts similar to yours on these forums. Getting older has its negatives for sure, but it doesn't rule out the positives.

I know that many have allowed this virus to change how they previously lived their lives completely. For me the only change it has made in my life is preventing me from ice skating for 7 months. Each person has to decide how they plan they life around their specific circumstances, like health issues or other different reasons.

For me personally! I can be completely happy without any contact with any humans, and also be happy in a crowd of them. Right now I have a dog lying on my left side, and a feline lying on my right side. My wife is off on a Pet Sitting Job and will be gone for a week.

Hopefully you find something to help you feel better. As you've probably read here, you have lots of company. Don't have anything philosophical I can say to make you feel better, I just hope reading some posts will let you see, you are far from being the only one.

=^..^=

hckynut

Re: "Getting Old Is Awful"

ThinkingOutLoud — Sat, 15 Jan 2022 07:26:31 GMT

I'm so sorry you (and others) are struggling.

A few suggestions:

- think of ways to lift others (ie write notes/letters, paint rocks and leave where people will find them, search for funny memes/images and email/post them, etc)

- get into genealogy (lots of different ways to do that) and plenty of people to get to know that way as well as online groups full of help/knowledge

- some church communities have outreach/fellowship groups that may be worth your while (not all care whether you convert - just let them know your intentions)

Hang in there and remember there are better days to come. (hugs)

Re: "Getting Old Is Awful"

ID2 — Sat, 15 Jan 2022 11:11:26 GMT

No, getting old isn't awful. Only if you make it that way, It's all up to you! I took cobtrol of my life almost 2 years ago. I am 68, lost 70 lbs, walk, eat healthy and I feel GREAT!! My entire disposition has changed. I turned off the news, don't watch anything now. I know nothing about the virus, therefore I am not bothered by it. Life is normal for me. OP only you can take control of your own life...the time is NOW. Good luck.

Re: "Getting Old Is Awful"

chiclet — Sat, 15 Jan 2022 12:18:11 GMT

I am also lonely. I don't know where you live but that can be a factor too. Some places are definitely friendlier than others and offer more things to do for seniors and places to go. I lived in Tennessee and there were nice dog parks. The one I went to had a gazebo and everyone gathered there while their dogs played and talked to each other. Where I live in Florida only one dog park and the seats are scattered and people sit by themselves and don't talk. A lot of people are so tied up with family and have no room for anyone new and if you talk to them all they talk about is family. I used to manage a medical office when I was younger and I did not understand why elderly people did not mind waiting but now I see it was their social time and outing. It is hard to make new friends and contacts. Even churches now where I live have eliminated anything but the Sunday service and you go in listen and leave and it does not give you any opportunity to make friends. I have no answers but want you to know you are not the only one. A time when we should be enjoying the time we have left seems to be the loneliest.

Re: "Getting Old Is Awful"

goldensrbest — Sat, 15 Jan 2022 12:27:44 GMT

Yes, it has taken a toll on me, we hear about how it has affected kids,but not much about us older people.

Re: "Getting Old Is Awful"

AngelPuppy1 — Sat, 15 Jan 2022 12:36:40 GMT

@BeccaLou

I have empathy for you and have understanding of your feelings. We all approach these things in different ways, and all of our feelings are valid! As for myself, I am blessed that I have my DH. However, a person does enjoy the company of family and friends occasionally and the ability to go out in the world, even if it's just to shop aimlessly or have a nice dinner. When I retired, I thought -- this is so wonderful! I will have the time and freedom I craved for so long! I can meet with friends all the time, I can go out and shop when I want, I can take exercise classes, I can maybe try and take a class or two on crafting, etc. DH and I can take some little jaunts and trips and go out and eat whenever and wherever we want. Then the dreaded virus hit and there went that! DH and I are getting up there and neither of us are in very good health, and so we are on the cautious side regarding the virus thing. I feel blessed to still be here and have so many things to be thankful for. However, getting older does have many challenges. Some people do not have serious health issues and not as many challenges and that is great. But others of us do. That's just how it is in life. Yes --- even though I have DH, I still get lonely and feel closed in and closed off. I am even missing when I do have to go out, say to the doctor or drugstore, smiling at people and having them smile back --- you can't do that wearing a mask! S0 --- in regarding to what you have posted --- yes --- the pandemic has made many people, self included, feel lonely, etc. My prayers are constant and fervent for this thing to be conquered and under control soon -- very soon! Blessings to you!

Re: "Getting Old Is Awful"

kaydee50 — Sat, 15 Jan 2022 12:50:25 GMT

My father used to say "LIfe is what you make it." IMO, he was right. As long as one is healthy, there's not too much to complain about. Force yourself to go out. Don't let this virus thing make you paranoid. Mental health is at least as important as physical.

Re: "Getting Old Is Awful"

violann — Sat, 15 Jan 2022 13:05:37 GMT

@BeccaLou wrote:
Anyone out there as lonely as I am?. Very Lost.And the Pandemic is making a lot worse.

I'm old in years, but JUST 6 months before the Vulgar Virus hit, I was living a GREAT, REFRESHED, CHEERFUL NEW LIFE in MUSIC, always the greatest non-family passion in my life.

Solitude is no problem for me, and I practice every day, but playing in concert band has been the best late-in-life reward I've ever found, so now, we ALL LOSE.

My band can't rehearse, the residential centers where we often entertain have lost their entertainment, no incentive for many of our members to continue playing, for some, no interaction with anyone but the mailman.

"Misery Loves Company", my mother used to say. At this point, anybody looks good. I'm thinking of asking the mailman if he's ever considered learning how to play the bassoon.

Re: "Getting Old Is Awful"

Mz iMac — Sat, 15 Jan 2022 13:19:25 GMT

Nope!

Re: "Getting Old Is Awful"

HLP — Sat, 15 Jan 2022 13:38:23 GMT

@BeccaLou wrote:
Anyone out there as lonely as I am?. Very Lost.And the Pandemic is making a lot worse.

I'm alone but never lonely.I have a house to clean, clothes to wash, phone to read the news, Puzzle set up to work, books to read, I just never have time to get lonely. Guess I'm an odd one, but I love being alone.

Re: "Getting Old Is Awful"

Gorgf — Sat, 15 Jan 2022 13:44:44 GMT

@chiclet Dog parks are different. I had been going in the early A.M. and it was all men with large dogs and they wouldn't even speak to me. They all walk fast and talk only about typical male interests. I have a genuine rescue Mutt so not not in their clique. I have been going at different times so both my dog and I see others. That has helped somewhat. It gets me out of the house and moving.

Our church has more people( double )attending on line than in person. Eliminating one Sunday service. I used to like to take leisure type classes at the Technical college but now all on line, even Yoga. I enjoyed it and get so much more out of a real class moving correctly or not. No wonder the students are missing out on socializing in some areas. I feel for the kids.

I started to travel overseas but don't want to plan anything with Covid. Some days I don't talk to anyone. I could volunteer more but don't want a scheduled volunteer job on a certain day every week, as worked nearly 50 years and had to show up every day. I sure you dont miss the work place stress either, but this time in life has its own issues. I am luckly to be healthy so far and try to be grateful for my blessings and keep going. I live where Winter in cold, snowy and long.

Re: "Getting Old Is Awful"

smoochy — Sat, 15 Jan 2022 14:00:53 GMT

@HLP wrote:
@BeccaLou wrote:
Anyone out there as lonely as I am?. Very Lost.And the Pandemic is making a lot worse.
I'm alone but never lonely.I have a house to clean, clothes to wash, phone to read the news, Puzzle set up to work, books to read, I just never have time to get lonely. Guess I'm an odd one, but I love being alone.

I also enjoy being alone at times, I find it peaceful and relaxing

Re: "Getting Old Is Awful"

teganslaw — Sat, 15 Jan 2022 14:13:28 GMT

I don't think getting old is awful. It has negatives, but many positives also. The virus has changed certain things, but I've been working around it and not letting it rule me. Change happens and one deals with it. Staying away from the news helps immensely.

I hope that anyone who feels bad all the time gets some help to get through this.

Re: "Getting Old Is Awful"

CalminHeart — Sat, 15 Jan 2022 14:16:06 GMT

My line is "Getting old isn't for sissies."

Re: "Getting Old Is Awful"

smoochy — Sat, 15 Jan 2022 14:21:05 GMT

This post kind of broke my heart. I'm seventy. And I agree that many many seniors feel lonely, invisible. But I believe that certain variables affect this.
1. where you live. In Florida, our state is open, meaning there is no virus lockdown. The residents come and go and gather as we like, masks are completely optional. No restrictions. Of course places like health care facilities require them. Last night we went to jazz concert and dinner downtown. I could count the number of masks I saw on one hand. Ran into a friend, we hugged. No worries. Much of this depends on whether you live in fear of catching a virus, or you choose to live normally. Choosing to isolate oneself from activity will certainly bring on loneliness.

2. if you have decent health and a spouse, that makes a huge difference. I'm still able to enjoy retirement even though that could change at any time. With that in mind, I try to find joy in even the simple things every day. A hot fresh cup of coffee. Walking to the mailbox feeling the warm sun on my back. Playing with my little dogs. Doing my Bible study. A new book. A jigsaw puzzle.

3. If poor health is an issue, and you really can't get out and about, the women who responded to your post have given some good ideas for things to do.