topic Re: Anyone Else Alone on Thanksgiving? in Among Friends

Anyone Else Alone on Thanksgiving?

Black Cat Back — Thu, 25 Nov 2021 02:01:11 GMT

I don't have any family any more and no one ever invites me to join them. It's a shame because I grew up in a house where my parents invited anyone they knew who was alone. My Mom couldn't stand it when she knew someone was all alone on Thanksgiving.

People nowadays aren't as eager to open up their home or invite that person who is alone without a spouse. I'm use to the "third wheel," syndrome.

However, for years after my family was gone, I'd serve at the Salvation Army dinners, but with Covid, that has changed where I live.

I will get along, but I don't do anything reminicent of the holiday. I plan to make my homemade pizza with a salad and watch football or some movies I checked out at the library. I get emotional through the day watching neighbors with friends and family visiting them, but I will take a walk and just know the day will be over soon.

If anyone else is alone, I know how you feel. But just know, you aren't alone. Others understand. I'll check in on this thread tomorrow, just to say hi and be there if someone needs company.

Blessings to all. If you are blessed to have family and caring friends you can count on, truly be thankful, for they are a gift.

Re: Anyone Else Alone on Thanksgiving?

Skyegirl21 — Thu, 25 Nov 2021 02:13:34 GMT

Hi @Black Cat Back ! You have a good attitude so that's good. I feel like I live the other side of the coin because my spouse is constantly here with me and I would love some alone time, lol! I guess the grass is always greener in someone else's yard! Please know that I am with you in spirit- 💝 Skye.

Re: Anyone Else Alone on Thanksgiving?

on the bay — Thu, 25 Nov 2021 02:16:04 GMT

@Black Cat Back,

If you lived near us, I would invite you over!

And no you are not alone!💞

Re: Anyone Else Alone on Thanksgiving?

mspatmac — Thu, 25 Nov 2021 02:16:58 GMT

@Black Cat Back I will be alone and will drop in periodically to say hi. It can also be tough when you do have family but not possible to see them. Football on the agenda after the Macy's parade which I ave done ever since i was a kid.

Re: Anyone Else Alone on Thanksgiving?

Leggett28 — Thu, 25 Nov 2021 02:17:49 GMT

Sometimes having family and lots of friends at Thanksgiving is not what it seems. Sometimes it it's not that great. It can be very stressful. Anyway Happy Thanksgiving 🍁🦃.

Re: Anyone Else Alone on Thanksgiving?

LizzieInSRQ — Thu, 25 Nov 2021 02:25:06 GMT

I've not had Thanksgiving off and on over the last 30 years. It was hard when my divorced mom died in my 20s and I come from a family of 8 kids, very dysfunctional at times. No need to gather since mom was gone. Lots of issues between most of us.

One thing I remembered the first 10 years I decided to estrange myself due to an incident,, to help keep perspective and not freak out too badly was to remember it is just a Thursday in every other country on the planet that day and that I had a handful of good Thanksgivings which is more than some people ever had.

I join friends and particular family some years. I have decided this year to lie to all and say I'm at this person's or that person's house this year as I want to be alone. Sounds selfish or ungrateful I know. Life is pretty stressful for me these days and I just want low-key and not having to pretend I'm happy while listening to kids screaming or having to think of things to talk about. It's what I want and I'm doing it.

My thoughts are with those who do yearn for it, may feel sad and lonely. I get it. I do. ::: hugs:::

Re: Anyone Else Alone on Thanksgiving?

Kachina624 — Thu, 25 Nov 2021 02:33:54 GMT

@Black Cat Back There are quite a few of us who are alone on holidays. I recently had a brush with covid, have no sense of taste so no point fixing myself something yummy. I'll probably have a frozen dinner or can of soup.

I used to go with friends to a good casino buffet but now the buffets are gone and so are the friends. I'm not ready to go out and meet new people, even if there was a place to do that.

There's some good marathon on PBS starting at noon. I'll watch that. For me, being alone at Christmas is rougher than Thanksgiving.

We can be grateful we didn't feel compelled to fly or drive somewhere. Did you see the traffic and airport messes?

Re: Anyone Else Alone on Thanksgiving?

Robertak — Thu, 25 Nov 2021 02:30:01 GMT

Yes I am and I hate it Wish there was a way to get together on holidays with others who for whatever reason will be alone and have a lovely dinner out. Maybe I should invent an app for that!

Re: Anyone Else Alone on Thanksgiving?

LizzieInSRQ — Thu, 25 Nov 2021 02:35:19 GMT

@Robertak wrote:
Yes I am and I hate it Wish there was a way to get together on holidays with others who for whatever reason will be alone and have a lovely dinner out. Maybe I should invent an app for that!

Too late for this Thanksgiving ( maybe Christmas) but there is the Next Door app or Meet Up on the internet

Re: Anyone Else Alone on Thanksgiving?

fthunt — Thu, 25 Nov 2021 02:39:54 GMT

@Black Cat Back Idon't recall seeing any postings from you prior but.......CHEER UP....many of us are alone - loved ones have passed - moved away - whatever. I read a spiritual blessings every new day and so with that I extend my best wishes to you for tomorrow....and Christmas day.

I refuse to let one date on the calendar get me down. I like the posting saying she would love to have a little time alone.......Silence and having time to enjoy ones self - can be a blessing.

Happy Turkey Day - enjoy pizza and football. I'll probably have a shrimp dish!

Re: Anyone Else Alone on Thanksgiving?

house_cat — Thu, 25 Nov 2021 02:48:33 GMT

Holidays are overrated, in my opinion. So much work and so much fuss. We had our Thanksgiving last weekend, so I'm free tomorrow. If you're lonely, be sure to check in here and tag some of us so we can show up to say hello.

Re: Anyone Else Alone on Thanksgiving?

Black Cat Back — Thu, 25 Nov 2021 02:52:33 GMT

Thanks everyone for your responses. It's touching reading them.

Thanksgiving was always a big day in my family. We're Jewish, so we didn't do a lot around Christimas. This year is so different as Hanukkah is Sunday night. It's so early this year. It's kind of a double whammy for me.

I also have people say to go out and meet new people. I am 60, I still work, but with Covid, I'm not ready either to go out and meet people. So many where I live are cavelier about Covid, so even with my recent Booster, I'm still nervous. I work where there are so many people unvaxed that I tend to stay home when I can these days.

Thanksgiving was always that homey feeling with the food cooking, football on TV and just that joy of baking with my Mom and eating together the yummy meal.

The first year after my parents had both passed, I made a Thanksgiving meal and sat and ate it alone. I cried the whole time. I vowed never to make it Thanksgiving traditional again. So, pizza this year, pasta another year and I've even had that can of soup too.

I plan to do laundry tomorrow. My electricity is cheaper on holidays. LOL

One year I just made appetizers and watched football or movies. I agree, it's one day... it will come and go. I think that all the commercials and media going on and on about family time and friends... it just becomes overload.

I live in AZ so it will be lovely here, so I hope to sit outside and read a bit (although the neighbors will have their big family over and it will be loud). I plan to take a long walk later listening to my favorite music.

Thank you to those who would invite me if we lived in the same place. So sweet! I have co-workers and neighbors and "friends" who know I'm alone and never ask. That's ok... although I make a pretty good pie they are missing.

Take care everyone. I always thought that it would be neat to have all the friends we get to know on this board meet. I bet it would be like we've been friends forever. I don't come on the boards a lot as I work odd hours, and am so tired after work... but I appreciate all the good advice and suggestions you all provide when I'm needing guidance.

Re: Anyone Else Alone on Thanksgiving?

SXMGirl — Thu, 25 Nov 2021 02:56:31 GMT

@Black Cat Back It is not easy being alone on a holiday that is represented by the commercials on tv showing all the happy families. Unfortunately, for many, that is fiction. Remember, it is just Thursday everywhere else in the world.

When I have been by myself on a major holiday, I always have some type of project planned. However, now that I am older, and maybe just a little wise, I appreciate my own company and enjoy taking the dog for a walk, reading a book, and getting caught up with some taped tv shows. I hope that you can enjoy your own company as well, and remember that Thanksgiving day is only 24 hours. May you have a peaceful day.

Re: Anyone Else Alone on Thanksgiving?

house_cat — Thu, 25 Nov 2021 02:58:16 GMT

@Black Cat Back

My husband and I spent many Thanksgivings alone in California after my kids had moved away. The first year I made the feast for the two of us and it was terribly depressing. After that, we decided to start a new tradition and I'd make us a turkey sandwich picnic that we'd take to the beach.

Re: Anyone Else Alone on Thanksgiving?

spent2much — Thu, 25 Nov 2021 02:59:59 GMT

@Black Cat Back Oh, the holidays used to be SO enjoyable to me, but no more. My daughter & family moved several states away. My DIL invited us to her parents for the day, but I wouldn't feel comfortable. I have my husband, thankfully, but the holidays are just not the same for us anymore. I'm so sorry you'll be alone. I will also check in here and "check up" on you. I try to remind myself of the many blessings I DO have in my life... a home, enough money to buy the food we need, less physical problems that many others suffer with, etc. **HUGS** to you.

Seeya tomorrow!

Re: Anyone Else Alone on Thanksgiving?

drizzellla — Thu, 25 Nov 2021 03:09:09 GMT

@Black Cat Back That is one thing that really upsets me about holidays. That people who want to spend time with family and friends for one reason or another - can't.

It also makes me feel guilty. I have always had family invited to my house for every holiday. We even bought an extra large dining room table and extra chairs so there would be room. This year since my son is working and won't be home until about 8PM, I did not invite anyone.

I am now having second thoughts that I should have made the offer and let people decide. We can always work around everyone's schedule.

You know a pizza and a salad sounds like such a comfortable meal. I look forward to hearing from you tomorrow.

Re: Anyone Else Alone on Thanksgiving?

justashopper — Thu, 25 Nov 2021 03:14:15 GMT

@Black Cat Back

I am sorry your "friends" don't invite you to join them. I am with your mom and the tradition of inviting people who don't have any place to go. That's how we have always been, too.

Holidays are over rated and super hyped up. I don't know many people who aren't- stressed, dysfunctional, lonely, disappointed in some way etc. Seems like most people just try to make the best of it. I know I do.

I have spent holidays alone in the past. When I am feeling down, I try to remember life does not live up to TV, movies, interenet and just try to keep it in perspective. Like you said, it is one day and you will enjoy it.

Maybe you will meet some new friends in the coming months. I know for myself, I hope to always make new friends and keep doing and learning new things, and generally just hoping to enjoy whatever life has to offer. It's tough though with covid. I probably see 5 people in a month.

I hope you enjoy your day. When I have been alone, I actually had a less stressful time..... sleep in, do what feels right to you, no pressure. It's your day to take a break, too. Regardless of who is around.

Have you thought about getting a pet? I got a kitten over the summer and I am so glad I did!!

Re: Anyone Else Alone on Thanksgiving?

GingerPeach — Thu, 25 Nov 2021 03:16:05 GMT

Yes, and I find I prefer being alone, especially on holidays.

I've never liked crowds or parties.

That aspect of the pandemic really suits me, @Black Cat Back

Re: Anyone Else Alone on Thanksgiving?

AuntG — Thu, 25 Nov 2021 03:18:45 GMT

You seem to have a good plan even though it's not a traditional one.

Re: Anyone Else Alone on Thanksgiving?

homedecor1 — Thu, 25 Nov 2021 03:41:51 GMT

@Black Cat Back

and others...

If you are a member here you're never alone for the holidays.

Sadly, after long year of spouse being sick and I'm sick now with a severe bronchial infection (ugh @Katrina625 nothing tastes good now and more☹️ can't wait to get results).

I get kinda mad that those "Norman Rockwell Hallmark moments" allowed me to be "oh whoa me for holidays"...

Well, nothing special planned, no desire to be stressed out (Covid gave me a good reason to learn the word NO), and for 10 years I've lived here I can't tell you how many I've invited, hosted every special holiday and extras we've had ...yet, not 1 since my spouse has become ill kinda makes me "mad" especially this year when they are gathering & haven't considered us😡 but doesn't surprise me (and plans made early September).

People change and that's OK the memories will always be happy for me of the holidays of childhood, growing my family and friends gone ...

Stop by here I'm sure after the parades are over I'll be checking in

Happy Thanksgiving 🦃🦃