topic Re: HOW TO HELP A NEW MOM? in Among Friends

HOW TO HELP A NEW MOM?

qvc chick — Thu, 02 Sep 2021 18:32:12 GMT

My daughter in law is in the hospital, she gave birth to a baby girl by C Section, went home, and then developed a utertus infection. It is so sad, she hasnt had a chance to bond with her newborn. She is still i the hospital, and her best friend is watching her newborn, while her husband is at the hospital.

Looking for some way to help. I was thinking about ordering some meals from Home Chef, or Blue Apron. But I dont think she will be in the mood /or not able to cook for a bit once he gets out.

I could send flowers, but was looking for a better way to help.

Any ideas??? Thanks

Re: HOW TO HELP A NEW MOM?

RetRN — Thu, 02 Sep 2021 18:35:03 GMT

Love the idea of sending food. She is not going to have time to cook or feel up to it for awhile.

Re: HOW TO HELP A NEW MOM?

nyc1 — Thu, 02 Sep 2021 18:43:32 GMT

@qvc chick I agree... I think your idea to send meals is excellent. It takes the burden off of both of them and ensures that they have something decent to eat. I'm sure they will very much appreciate anything that you do. Congratulations to you on the new little baby.

Re: HOW TO HELP A NEW MOM?

Mz iMac — Thu, 02 Sep 2021 18:44:41 GMT

Husband should be doing ALL the cooking & cleaning under the circumstances. That being said.........

Sending "prepared" food is a great idea. Just pop in the oven or microwave.

Hire a cleaning crew for a month or two.

Hire a "chef" for a month. They can prepare meals for a week in 1 day so you can freeze some of it.

Re: HOW TO HELP A NEW MOM?

Mz iMac — Thu, 02 Sep 2021 18:46:58 GMT

In addition.....

The DIL best friend is a God send. I would do something "special" for her also.

Re: HOW TO HELP A NEW MOM?

Kachina624 — Thu, 02 Sep 2021 18:47:01 GMT

I agree, ready to eat meals are the most practical and helpful thing you could do. She probably couldn't care less about flowers at this point. Remind her that this too will pass.

Re: HOW TO HELP A NEW MOM?

Love my grandkids — Thu, 02 Sep 2021 18:51:02 GMT

@qvc chick If you order meals please be SURE to check something. I know someone who ordered some food from a company (don't recall the name) and the meals required A LOT and I mean a LOT of prep. All the stuff was included but it was far from "convenient."

Just be sure the meals are ready to heat and eat without a ton of prep!

Wishing the new mom and dad well with their new baby and how DIL recovers well.

Re: HOW TO HELP A NEW MOM?

Mistreatedbycs — Thu, 02 Sep 2021 18:55:59 GMT

@qvc chick

Where's her mom?

Are you not available to "move in" for a month or so?

That's a huge burdon on a friend. I really would check with your son first and not be a surprise, sometimes nice intentions cause a lot of problems.

I know you mean well but it can be viewed that she can't take care of her husband and you know, you're the mother in law.

Flowers are nice but anything else as far as food and/or services should be asked first.

Just my thoughts.

Re: HOW TO HELP A NEW MOM?

Anonymous032819 — Thu, 02 Sep 2021 18:57:19 GMT

Here's a novel idea, HE can cook! You know, the husband/father?

Why make the new mother cook?

Re: HOW TO HELP A NEW MOM?

Love my grandkids — Thu, 02 Sep 2021 19:01:10 GMT

@Anonymous032819 @Mistreatedbycs Where is her husband you ask and why can't he cook?

READ the post: The husband is where he belongs, IN THE HOSPITAL WITH HIS WIFE.

Good grief.. The man is with his ill wife and you two are being critical of him. Nice. Real nice.

Re: HOW TO HELP A NEW MOM?

DottieBlue — Thu, 02 Sep 2021 19:10:28 GMT

I think providing cooking and cleaning assistance would be the most helpful.

Does Grubhub or DoorDash offer gift certificates?

Or order basic groceries for them delivered, even lots of diapers, etc., for the baby?

That was a great idea to do something nice for the gal who is taking care of the baby, too.

Best wishes to you all, and wishing your DIL a full and quick recovery.

Edited to add: Yes, good idea to check with them first. I wouldn't "surprise" them except gift certificates would be OK because then they can use them at their convenience.

Re: HOW TO HELP A NEW MOM?

RetRN — Thu, 02 Sep 2021 19:17:10 GMT

@Anonymous032819 wrote:
Here's a novel idea, HE can cook! You know, the husband/father?

Why make the new mother cook?

Since you do not know the family or the situation, please refrain from being so rude. They are dealing with a very ill mother and a newborn who will both be requiring care. He will be very busy caring for them.

Re: HOW TO HELP A NEW MOM?

Annabellethecat66 — Thu, 02 Sep 2021 19:06:40 GMT

@Love my grandkids You are so right about many of those meals take a lot of prep.

My daughter loves those by Martha Stewart.

She often orders them when she visits my house for a few weeks.

She'll be in the kitchen cutting and chopping BEFORE she puts it all in the pan.

We are big on having food delivered from restaurants.

Sometimes a person will have a "craving" for something in particular.

The OP didn't speak about the husband. If he's still in the picture, he could let his mother know what his wife is hungry for.

She could order and have it delivered.

It's also possible to order groceries and have them delivered. I would think the husband could at least look through the kitchen and figure out what they need.

The OP is so lucky to have a new baby in the family. All my 8 grandchildren came close together. The youngest is now9 years old.

I hope everyone realizes how wonderful it is to have a new life in the family.😀

Re: HOW TO HELP A NEW MOM?

luvzchiz — Thu, 02 Sep 2021 19:12:17 GMT

Congratulations on your new baby granddaughter! What a blessing.

My suggestion is to ask your son or DIL directly what they might want. If you cannot physically help them the idea of food delivered from their favorite restaurants sounds great.

I, too, agree that her friend also deserves a thank you of some sort. Sending good wishes for a speedy recovery.

Re: HOW TO HELP A NEW MOM?

Mistreatedbycs — Thu, 02 Sep 2021 19:20:14 GMT

@Love my grandkids wrote:
@Anonymous032819 @Mistreatedbycs Where is her husband you ask and why can't he cook?

READ the post: The husband is where he belongs, IN THE HOSPITAL WITH HIS WIFE.

Good grief.. The man is with his ill wife and you two are being critical of him. Nice. Real nice.

Why are you shouting. The husband doesn't belong in the hospital, the nurses and doctors are taking care of her.

The husband belongs at home with the Baby.! It's HIS Child, no need to pawn the newborn off on a "Friend"

Good Grief Yourself, Family Needs to Step In if there's family involved.

Stop yelling at people and imposing that your opinions are only the opinions that count. I am avoiding you and yet you seek attention.

Re: HOW TO HELP A NEW MOM?

bikerbabe — Thu, 02 Sep 2021 19:20:15 GMT

Some of the meal delivery services offer fully prepped meals that just need to be reheated.

Re: HOW TO HELP A NEW MOM?

on the bay — Thu, 02 Sep 2021 19:34:34 GMT

I know my daughter really appreciated take-out. Like doordash or grubhub or whatever its called. I believe they have gift cards.

The blue apron etc you still have to put things together.

And when she gets home if you can babysit that is the greatest gift of all or just be there to get things for her and the baby; wash bottles, get her stuff to eat,help change diapers, laundry etc.

She will need so much help.

Re: HOW TO HELP A NEW MOM?

skatting44 — Thu, 02 Sep 2021 19:34:38 GMT

Do you live nearby ? Maybe you could ask the DIL & Husband if they had a favorite local restaurant that you could pick up take out for them or if the restaurant have gift card for meals .

Many of the fresh meal companies require prep and cooking, so if you're not getting around well, than the meals become a burden.

Re: HOW TO HELP A NEW MOM?

sann — Thu, 02 Sep 2021 19:38:35 GMT

Perhaps flowers would be nice for the friend caring for the baby ........

Re: HOW TO HELP A NEW MOM?

kitcat51 — Thu, 02 Sep 2021 19:56:24 GMT

Ask your son, he's the best source for what they need. When my DIL was in the hospital I sent a gift card for their favorite deli, it was nearby with lots of prepared food they enjoyed before & that helped them get through a tough time when she got home. Best Wishes. Be well @qvc chick.