topic Re: Today Is My 40th Wedding Anniversary in Among Friends

Today Is My 40th Wedding Anniversary

BunSnoop — Sat, 28 Aug 2021 17:47:26 GMT

Went to the beauty shop this morning. Thought maybe while I was gone hubby would go out and surprise me with flowers - did not happen. Come on.....it's 40 YEARS!!!

Around 11:00 he said "you want to go out to eat?". All I said is it's hot and I'm not really thinking about food. He will ask that every weekend as we usually do go out to eat on Saturdays and Sundays.

Oh well, I guess after being married all these years I knew nothing "special" would happen today. Guess I'll go back to cleaning the house!

P.S. He just now said "thinking about food yet"? All I said is "No". He said O.K.

Re: Today Is My 40th Wedding Anniversary

ECBG — Sat, 28 Aug 2021 17:54:35 GMT

My DH does well with candy on Valentines Day. I may have said something about not wanting flowers decades ago, but I recently said I would prefer flowers in place of a hanging basket from DS on Mother's Day.

I've decided when I go to Fresh Market (they have beautiful flowers here) as well as nice vases and arrangements on holidays Ill pick up some flowers to reinforce the idea.

Re: Today Is My 40th Wedding Anniversary

ThinkingOutLoud — Sat, 28 Aug 2021 18:05:13 GMT

@BunSnoop wrote:
Went to the beauty shop this morning. Thought maybe while I was gone hubby would go out and surprise me with flowers - did not happen. Come on.....it's 40 YEARS!!!

Around 11:00 he said "you want to go out to eat?". All I said is it's hot and I'm not really thinking about food. He will ask that every weekend as we usually do go out to eat on Saturdays and Sundays.

Oh well, I guess after being married all these years I knew nothing "special" would happen today. Guess I'll go back to cleaning the house!

P.S. He just now said "thinking about food yet"? All I said is "No". He said O.K.

Congrats on 40 years.

What, though, are YOU doing to make it special?? I would think after 'being married all these years' you'd be done testing him by now and also learn that being passive/agressive doesn't help either. I suggest setting him up for success, not failure. Just sayin.

Re: Today Is My 40th Wedding Anniversary

tends2dogs — Sat, 28 Aug 2021 18:04:56 GMT

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!! 40 years, something must be good and right !

Here's to many more!!!!

Was your nic formerly Hutchhill??

Re: Today Is My 40th Wedding Anniversary

J Town Girl — Sat, 28 Aug 2021 18:18:30 GMT

I understand how you feel. It can be so frustrating trying to get our husbands to think the same about special days as we do.

I just don't think men are wired the same way. They seem to have different priorities. I am not someone who needs special gifts like jewelry or other expensive items but on occasion when I've mentioned something to my husband about doing something special he will say but I am, I'm fixing the fence for you or I'm putting in a new yard for you or I'm making the house look nice for you.

I think to a man that is their way of showing love and attention to their wives.

Even though you feel kind of hurt about your hubby not doing something special for your anniversary I think the fact that he always takes you out for dinner on the week-end says how much he cares. I think it's sweet that he wants to make sure that you have a nice week-end away from the kitchen.

We also eat out a lot and I consider that a nicer gift than a piece of jewelry or flowers on just one or two days out of the year.

Have a wonderful 40th anniversary and enjoy your day with your husband.

Re: Today Is My 40th Wedding Anniversary

chiclet — Sat, 28 Aug 2021 18:21:33 GMT

When my husband does something for me it is like he is doing it so I will make him feel good for doing it. He doesn't do much but I feel like I am supposed to do cart wheels and when I do something for him he barely acknowledges it. We "celebrate" anniversaries by going out to eat which we would probably do that day anyway.

Re: Today Is My 40th Wedding Anniversary

KingstonsMom — Sat, 28 Aug 2021 18:23:06 GMT

@BunSnoop

With all due respect, it sounds like DH is trying to make the day special, but you admittedly shoot him down at every suggestion.

If I were him, I would be wondering, "What do I do now"?????.

Have you ever told him that you would love to receive flowers from him for a milestone event in your lives?

Men just don't think like women do, they're not nearly as sentimental, nurturing, sensitive emotionally, as women are.

I do think most of them really have good intentions!

Re: Today Is My 40th Wedding Anniversary

Goodie2shoes — Sat, 28 Aug 2021 18:31:00 GMT

Congatulations on 40 blessed years!

Re: Today Is My 40th Wedding Anniversary

kitty60 — Sat, 28 Aug 2021 18:37:33 GMT

I hear you. Got you..we are going on 49 years and I learn now not to expect anything. For those who said "what are you doing" for many years I went out of my way only to be ignored. It took many years but I came to a point where, yes he has many good qualities and strengths and that is why I love him. Dreams are not the same for everyone.

Read "After a while" by Veronica Shoffstall, it woke me up and my life has changed in many ways.

Re: Today Is My 40th Wedding Anniversary

NicksmomESQ — Sat, 28 Aug 2021 18:41:20 GMT

Congrats on 40 years!!

I don't accept the theory that men aren't wired to make a fuss over their wives. I will be married 41 years in 2 weeks & my husband has made a fuss over each anniversary, birthday, Mother's Day etc.

It depends on the man & on the relationship. I believe as Dr. Phil says "you teach people how to treat you". If you want your husband to pay attention & show his appreciation,if he isn't doing it on his own, you need to have a conversation. You deserve better & should make him aware of your feelings. I bet he'll surprise you.

Re: Today Is My 40th Wedding Anniversary

Love my grandkids — Sat, 28 Aug 2021 18:45:52 GMT

Congratulations on 40 years!

Not all men are alike. My late DH would give me a card to mark the date we met! I mean, who does that? It was

so sweet, the first time he did that, I bawled.

He was extremely thoughtful about things like that and I was as well.

I also wonder what the OP is doing for HIM on their anniversay. It takes two, you know.

Re: Today Is My 40th Wedding Anniversary

J Town Girl — Sat, 28 Aug 2021 18:48:36 GMT

@KingstonsMom You chose the perfect way of wording how men are different than women.

So many times we expect our husbands to remember all of the little special moments that we do, but that just isn't the thinking of most men. We are sentimental, they are practical.

And yes, you are correct, most men do have good intentions.

Re: Today Is My 40th Wedding Anniversary

mspatmac — Sat, 28 Aug 2021 18:49:55 GMT

Men are from Mars and Woman are from Venus! We are different and communication is the key. To those complaining be thankful your husband is still on this earth and with you., many widows would gladly change places with you. We get expectations in our heads and expect them to read our minds. It can get mighty lonely without them.

Re: Today Is My 40th Wedding Anniversary

lulu1 — Sat, 28 Aug 2021 18:50:11 GMT

Happy Anniversary! You can make the day special if you really want to.

We celebrated 50 years in June. I guess I'm lucky because my husband always remembers special dates (and creates new special days) with gifts and flowers.

Re: Today Is My 40th Wedding Anniversary

godi — Sat, 28 Aug 2021 18:50:18 GMT

Congratulations on your milestone anniversary. You got to make this day special. Get up and tell him hubby it's 40 years for us let's do something together.

Re: Today Is My 40th Wedding Anniversary

golding76 — Sat, 28 Aug 2021 18:50:24 GMT

Very happy for your 40th wedding anniversary.

Congratulations! It is not easy to keep the embers burning year after year, but you two have.

Many, many more!

Re: Today Is My 40th Wedding Anniversary

wismiss — Sat, 28 Aug 2021 19:03:47 GMT

I wish I still had my husband to celebrate one more year with. Congratulations on your 40th. Think of something different that maybe both of you would like to do, even if it's just going to the park and sitting on a bench together. Or, pull out your wedding album and look at the pictures together and get a laugh or two about the clothes/hair, etc., that was popular when you got married. I hope your special day becomes that---a SPECIAL day.

Re: Today Is My 40th Wedding Anniversary

J Town Girl — Sat, 28 Aug 2021 19:04:47 GMT

@mspatmac wrote:
Men are from Mars and Woman are from Venus! We are different and communication is the key. To those complaining be thankful your husband is still on this earth and with you., many widows would gladly change places with you. We get expectations in our heads and expect them to read our minds. It can get mighty lonely without them.

Thank you for what you posted. My father died when he was only 52 and my mom spent the rest of her life alone. She would have given anything to have grown old along with him.

Re: Today Is My 40th Wedding Anniversary

ECBG — Sat, 28 Aug 2021 20:20:34 GMT

@BunSnoop

I know my father in law never did much special for DH's mother. To me, actions on "special" days are taught.

What I want now is different from when we were young,

then with the bustle of children, dinner out was a relief.

In past years, I have always had family dinners or something for most events so our grandsons will learn.

We end up on vacation a week or so after Father's Day. DH says "let's just celebrate" at the beach. There will never be a celebration while on vacation with DS, DIL, and GS's, being so fast paced. I STILL do that dinner.

How will the boys learn if they don't get examples?

Re: Today Is My 40th Wedding Anniversary

Mimi NY — Sat, 28 Aug 2021 19:36:40 GMT

@BunSnoop wrote:
Went to the beauty shop this morning. Thought maybe while I was gone hubby would go out and surprise me with flowers - did not happen. Come on.....it's 40 YEARS!!!

Around 11:00 he said "you want to go out to eat?". All I said is it's hot and I'm not really thinking about food. He will ask that every weekend as we usually do go out to eat on Saturdays and Sundays.

Oh well, I guess after being married all these years I knew nothing "special" would happen today. Guess I'll go back to cleaning the house!
PS. He just now said "thinking about food yet"? All I said is "No". He said O.K.

Well first HAPPY ANNIVERSARY ,hope he hasn't been like that all these years and if so you should know how he is. So just treat yourself to the flowers you would had hope for,and when he see flowers and when he ask why they are in the home be truthful and let him know ,was hoping that you would had surprised me with flowers,while I was getting my hair done. He'll get the message for sure.

The going out to eat seems like a recurring thing you do always, you are hoping and wishing for him to make the day a bit special with something other than a meal.

Think many husbands over the years take wives for granted I am also married almost 40 years .

I have a husband that never does much in giving but as the years went by I was hurt also, but now as I got older and think smarter , I treat myself always to something I would had wanted nothing outrageous in price ,and when it arrives I always let him know by saying Thank You this is my birthday or anniversary or Valentine's or Christmas gift. He laughs and I hear him always say glad you like your gift.