topic Re: Stale Conversation in Among Friends

Stale Conversation

Susan in California — Sun, 18 Jul 2021 17:34:20 GMT

We visited our son and his family yesterday.

When we got home, I realized a lot of my share of the

talking had to do with events, experiences, that had

happened YEARS (decades) ago. Some of the "stories"

were ok, maybe, but others most likely were boring if not

annoying.

Everyone was very pleasant, there were no comments, but

on the way home, I told my husband I really want to stop

with the talking about anything older than 10 years (unless

asked about something from the past).

I remember when I was a child, a neighbor of the WWI

generation used to talk a lot to my father. My father

was always very polite, and would say, "Oh Ned, when

did that happen?" and the older man would say,

"Uh, uh, let me think...I think that was in 1929"

My father seemed to think it had happened recently.

This was in about 1960, and I still remember the neighbor

and all his chatting.

Do any of you talk like I do of too many things from the

past (in detail!).

I'm hoping I can refrain from this....even if it means I talk a

lot less.

Re: Stale Conversation

suzyQ3 — Sun, 18 Jul 2021 17:48:05 GMT

I think that to some degree it comes naturally with age. But yes, it may be most appropriate within an older group.

My husband is guilty of this when we get together with our daughter and family. I admit I wince occasionally. but then I try to understand that this his way of joining in. It always does relate to something in the general conversation.

Re: Stale Conversation

Love my grandkids — Sun, 18 Jul 2021 17:58:20 GMT

I can only speak for myself. For the most part my DS, DIL and grandkids enjoy hearing stories about when I was little or their dad was or they were. Of course we do talk of other things too!

Re: Stale Conversation

Xivambala — Sun, 18 Jul 2021 18:07:48 GMT

I am in my 60's and I do not. I leave the past where it belongs, in the past and prefer to live in the moment. My mother who is in her 80's does this all the time. She frequently asks if remember this, that and something else. Sometimes I remember and sometimes I don't. It becomes a boring conversation. I would never tell her how annoying this is as she won't be here forever. She is a wealth of family history and I have asked her several times to document this for me (only child here). I hope she follows through. I think we get along better when we concentrate on the here and now.

Re: Stale Conversation

Sooner — Sun, 18 Jul 2021 18:08:44 GMT

I've always tried to be polite, but my mother and her sisters could absolutely bore me to death with stuff about when they were kids. Good grief!

My husband is bad about it, and I try to be polite, but it is really getting old and I think we are going to have to discuss this. I don't think anybody ever wants to hear very much about the good old days.

I don't!

Re: Stale Conversation

lolakimono — Sun, 18 Jul 2021 18:11:53 GMT

@Susan in California

My dad was in sales.

He made it a point of knowing what others liked, and he read up on it and/or watched it. There is a particular team that you follow? He would be able to talk about last night's game or the most recent trade. A particular musical artist that you liked? A package with a CD or an article from Rolling Stone would appear in your mailbox. Your favorite food? It would be in the refrigerator and maybe a recipe that he saw in the paper or one of his magazines. He could talk about most anything with anyone, but when you were in the "inner circle" you felt as if he also had those interests because he stayed "up to date."

Re: Stale Conversation

ValuSkr — Sun, 18 Jul 2021 18:14:59 GMT

I prefer to talk about the things they are doing - in the here and now. Sometimes they ask about something in my past, but I tend to keep it short.

Re: Stale Conversation

chessylady — Sun, 18 Jul 2021 18:18:42 GMT

I do not talk about the past very much. I keep up on the news, watch movies, read books and take trips even if they are small ones. Sometimes I have to talk myself into doing things especially now. It always turns out well. To have interesting conversation you need to have interests in your life.

Re: Stale Conversation

Trinity11 — Sun, 18 Jul 2021 18:26:00 GMT

When I am in social situations I try and focus being a good listener. I have found people really love talking about themselves. As far as topics, I usually excuse myself after awhile if someone wants to drone on about their numerous health problems. I talk about the past if my grandson asks about my daughter when she was little. He enjoys those stories....

Re: Stale Conversation

hckynut — Sun, 18 Jul 2021 23:51:35 GMT

@Susan in California wrote:
"We visited our son and his family yesterday.

Do any of you talk like I do of too many things from the
past (in detail!). I'm hoping I can refrain from this....even if it means I talk a lot less".

@Susan in California

Do I talk of the past? Usually not unless a past topic comes up in our conversations. I hear too many "I used to be able to(pick your topic)"!

To which I always replied when connected to present physical activities: "Used too's do not count, it is what you can, and do now".

I love my past, most of it anyways, and enjoy a good reminisce, with those that also lived during those times. However most of my conversing now is about the present, or very recent past.

If you have read many of my posts you will probably know that I "talk a lot", which I have tried, unsuccessfully, to change for years. That includes face to face/phone to phone, and typing with those in Online Media.

What were the conversation topics done by others? If present topics did you have nothing to add? I have 1 more question for you. Why so much spacing

between your lines?

hckynut(john)🏒

Re: Stale Conversation

hckynut — Sun, 18 Jul 2021 18:43:32 GMT

@Xivambala wrote:
I am in my 60's and I do not. I leave the past where it belongs, in the past and prefer to live in the moment. My mother who is in her 80's does this all the time. She frequently asks if remember this, that and something else. Sometimes I remember and sometimes I don't. It becomes a boring conversation. I would never tell her how annoying this is as she won't be here forever.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"She is a wealth of family history and I have asked her several times to document this for me (only child here). I hope she follows through".

@Xivambala

Have you offered to help your mother document her history? My wife did that with her mother, who died at 91 five years ago. Her mother started with where she was born and followed through with as many things as she remembered.

She named it "Her Name History". I took it off the computer and saved it on a Thumb Drive and a DVD. My wife just read it this week because her mother died on the 13th, 1 month before her 92nd birthday. Something to think about

I too am in my 80's and most people I chat with, including family, don't consider me boring. They mostly talk right along with me, I guess that's a sign, no?

hckynut(john)

Re: Stale Conversation

hckynut — Sun, 18 Jul 2021 18:45:57 GMT

@Sooner wrote:
I've always tried to be polite, but my mother and her sisters could absolutely bore me to death with stuff about when they were kids. Good grief!

My husband is bad about it, and I try to be polite, but it is really getting old and I think we are going to have to discuss this. I don't think anybody ever wants to hear very much about the good old days.

I don't!

@Sooner

I do! Send 'em my way! 😎

hckynut

Re: Stale Conversation

GenXmuse — Sun, 18 Jul 2021 18:50:17 GMT

I actually enjoy when my parents talk about the past. I appreciate hearing about their memories, experiences, and perspective that has given them. My mother has Dementia and its amazing the things she remembers that I never knew, like her first concert was Johnny Cash when he came to her college. I know the day will come when I will miss talking about anything with them.

Re: Stale Conversation

tends2dogs — Sun, 18 Jul 2021 18:52:59 GMT

You didn't mention if it was just your kids and family present. How often do you get together? Personally, I think it is great if your kids want to know about past family things. So many kids now adays don't care about such things. I know that my DH's son could care less and so could his kids.

I suppose it is better than a heated discussion about politics, Covid, the present day news.

I can't take your side on this, @Susan in California . Be happy they want to be with you and weren't staring at their phones the whole time. It sounds like you have a lot to be happy about and (blessings, too).

Re: Stale Conversation

Teddie — Sun, 18 Jul 2021 18:54:57 GMT

My brother and sister-in-law were just here visiting a few days. We are close and close in age. Whether we talk on the phone or get together, we always have lots to talk about, including what’s going on now but we enjoy talking about things from our past, too. With both our parents gone, there’s a certain comfort for both of us in still being able to talk about different subjects we each lived through like no one else.

Re: Stale Conversation

Mary Bailey — Sun, 18 Jul 2021 18:58:39 GMT

I know I talk about DH way too much. I'm boring as H#LL I try not to do it but I have nothing else. He usually stays home. I mostly go places alone.

Re: Stale Conversation

bikerbabe — Sun, 18 Jul 2021 19:18:59 GMT

No. I have plenty of carefully edited, hair-raising work stories.

Re: Stale Conversation

BlueFinch — Sun, 18 Jul 2021 19:34:26 GMT

It's hard not to talk about memories of our past. After all, they were the building blocks of who we eventually became -- our personal history.

Problem is, we forget that OUR history can be boring for many, unless our stories are captivating, from that of an extraordinary life, but that's not most of us.

Seniors begin to lose short term memory and focus on remote memories. It's an aging process, but I feel it's also the realization that when they're gone, their memories and much of their history will be, too.

They're hoping some of what they're saying will not be lost. They're also looking for validation that their life was meaningful to others. I saw this firsthand, with my mother a few years before overt cognitive decline. So, I listened, and listened...

Re: Stale Conversation

Wiscfan3 — Sun, 18 Jul 2021 19:35:42 GMT

I love to listen to and talk about stories from the past. I do not find it boring at all, and maybe your family enjoys it too. My mom and my in-laws always talked a lot about the past and I wish they were here now to continue doing so. It is also fun to discuss the past with siblings and see how we each viewed the same event from our unique perspectives in the family. Just be you, and talk about whatever you want. Your family is most likely just happy to spend time with you and are not evaluating your conversation topics.

Re: Stale Conversation

spent2much — Sun, 18 Jul 2021 19:42:02 GMT

@Sooner wrote:
I don't think anybody ever wants to hear very much about the good old days.

I don't!

I do!!!