topic Re: Break Up in Among Friends

Break Up

Calcgirl — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 10:10:44 GMT

A friend of mime who is in her late 60's came over hysterical because her boyfriend just broke up with her. They had been dating for a few years, but the problem is he is a pilot and was transferred to another state, so the last year their relationship has been long distamce. She suspects he met someone else and wanted me to call him to see if he would tell me. Her boyfriend happens to be a very good friend as well. I said absolutely no, I was not getting in the middle of this. Well, she started screaming at me and told me if I was a a good friend I would do it. I tried to calm her down, but she stormed out and said she never wanted to talk to me again. A couple of our mutual friends called me and told me I was wrong not to help her get closure buy finding out the real reason for the break up and if there was another woman involved. Again, I said absolutely not. Well, today at a luncheon the three of them snubbed me. I am hurt and angry. I guess my frienship isn't a value to them.

Re: Break Up

Desertdi — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 10:19:37 GMT

Airline pilot mandatory retirement age is 65, Maybe he wasn't "transferred"...........

Re: Break Up

Lilysmom1 — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 10:27:23 GMT

@Calcgirl , for what it's worth, I think you made the right decision. She will find out in time what the real story is. I had a friend who was left high and dry. She wrote a long letter trying to keep the relationship going. I told her not to send it. Sure enough, he was seeing another. She really wishes she could have that letter back... Emotions are high now. In time they will calm down and hopefully the friendship will recover. S

Re: Break Up

Calcgirl — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 10:45:56 GMT

He is younger than her by a few years. He will be 61 this year. She is about 67 I believe, but she does not look her age. She is Asian and very pretty with a figure of a 20 year old. I suspect it is the distance that became the issue, their relationship was definately based on a "physical nature"as she put it, lol. Since she was unwilling to move to the other state (although he had asked her to), he probably found someone else to be physical with..

Re: Break Up

Nataliesgramma — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 11:22:47 GMT

You did the right thing...

What difference would it make if it is another woman?

She would probably want you to spy on him and find out who it is...

He isn't in to her anymore....Time for her to find someone else...

Re: Break Up

AngelPuppy1 — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 11:23:37 GMT

That is hurtful and wrong that she lashed out at you and that the others joined her and snubbed you. I feel you were right for not sticking your nose in . The man told her what he wanted her to know and if something comes out to the contrary later on, then so be it. I would let things be as they are and hopefully she will come to her senses and apologize to you. I get that she is upset but no need to treat you the way she did.

Re: Break Up

Houstonoilers — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 12:19:56 GMT

From Mya Angelou: When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.

I would consider these friendship (and the other women as well) as dissolved. Don't let them keep showing you over and over who they really are.

These are individuals who lack strength of character. It may not seem like, but you actually are better off without them.

Re: Break Up

kaydee50 — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 12:56:23 GMT

If the boyfriend is a "very good friend" of the OP, I don't see a problem with the OP telling him that her friend is very upset and see what his response is. Then she can report back to her friend.

Re: Break Up

Miss Pepsi — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 13:09:56 GMT

I think you made the right decision. Stay out of it. This is or was between those 2 and that is all.

Re: Break Up

CelticCrafter — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 13:14:49 GMT

@Calcgirl you did the right thing, stand your ground and don't give in.

Re: Break Up

SXMGirl — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 13:21:12 GMT

@Calcgirl You did the right thing by not getting involved. Sounds like 8th grade drama to me.

Re: Break Up

Luvsmyfam — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 13:22:51 GMT

I would have done the same thing u did.i would never want to be in the middle of any break up.if friends snubbed u,they weren't your friends to begin with.

Re: Break Up

Karie2022 — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 13:27:38 GMT

You did the right thing; I've been put in positions like this before and I always said I'm staying out of it...not my business. As for your other 'friends'....maybe it's time meet new friends😂

Re: Break Up

RetRN — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 13:28:48 GMT

You absolutely did the right thing! It was her choice not to move near him, so if he found someone else I say, "good for him". It sounded like a pretty shallow relationship to me and it was inconsiderate of her to even ask you to get involved.

Re: Break Up

Imaoldhippie — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 13:48:11 GMT

@Calcgirl .............You did the right thing. Its just plain silly for a 60 something year old woman to act as she did. What difference does it make why he broke up with her? Its a done deal. She needs to calm down and you might want to think about continuing a friendship with her.

Re: Break Up

LindaSal — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 14:04:32 GMT

@Imaoldhippie ITA! My thoughts exactly were, what is this high school? Long distance relationships hardly ever work so it was probably doomed when he moved away. I would not get involved in it either, who needs someone else's baggage, we all have enough of our own issues going on in life. If others snubbed you because of it, then it's time to move on.

Re: Break Up

riley1 — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 14:04:33 GMT

@Calcgirl - Imo you absolutely did the right thing. No need to get involved in anyone else's business.

And, if there are other close friends, why did she not ask one of them to do the dirty work?

This all sounds very high schoolish to me.

Re: Break Up

mspatmac — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 14:06:01 GMT

@Calcgirl wrote:
He is younger than her by a few years. He will be 61 this year. She is about 67 I believe, but she does not look her age. She is Asian and very pretty with a figure of a 20 year old. I suspect it is the distance that became the issue, their relationship was definately based on a "physical nature"as she put it, lol. Since she was unwilling to move to the other state (although he had asked her to), he probably found someone else to be physical with..

@Calcgirl He asked her to move with him and she declined, sounds to me she made the decision. You are absolutely right in handeling it the way you did.

Re: Break Up

Shanus — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 14:12:51 GMT

@Calcgirl When someone does this, storming out and pulls the card about do thisd for me or else....How true a friendare they really? I think you did the right thing staying clear of the situation and letting her get the facts.

If she comes crawling,back, I'd assess how much of a friend is she.

Re: Break Up

haddon9 — Sat, 06 Mar 2021 14:21:50 GMT

@SXMGirl wrote:
@Calcgirl You did the right thing by not getting involved. Sounds like 8th grade drama to me.

My thoughts too. Sounds like something school girls would do.