topic Re: In-laws!!!!!!!!! in Among Friends

In-laws!!!!!!!!!

Keeper of the koi — Tue, 15 Dec 2015 15:48:26 GMT

Most of the time you hear in-laws mentioned its usually not good! Well this is not that. I am so very blessed to have a mother and father in law that are truly God given. After23 years of unwaivering love I am looking back with a heartful of gratitude. I didn't have loving parents, I was surprised to be graced with these two. We live a short walk through our woods close. It's not unusual to hear my father in law call me daughter, or my mother in law to say are you sure I didn't give birth to you? I'm often delighted to hear strangers up on meeting me say your in-laws really love you ,that praise you constantly. I do believe they provided the ground work for our strong happy marriage , always supportive wishing us the best. I hope they realize how much they changed my life. Maryanne

Re: In-laws!!!!!!!!!

Q4u — Tue, 15 Dec 2015 15:56:31 GMT

How absolutely wonderful, truly! I loved my in-laws too and still miss them terribly. I was lucky enough to have two wonderful parents as well and miss them terribly too. When I think back, I feel so lucky to have had all "my parents" in our lives, especially our children! Thank you for sharing....

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GCR18 — Tue, 15 Dec 2015 16:05:51 GMT

You won the in law lotto. It's a nice story.

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spent2much — Tue, 15 Dec 2015 16:17:18 GMT

And I am truly blessed to have the greatest daughter-in-law on the planet! Thank you, Lord.

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vermint — Tue, 15 Dec 2015 16:19:10 GMT

I, too, was blessed with wonderful in-laws...I miss them every day. They always treated me as one of their own. Even if I didn't like what they had to say, I knew they would also say it to their own children! I was fortunate to have them in my life for nearly 40 years. Even my own mother said I had good in-laws!

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Mominohio — Tue, 15 Dec 2015 16:23:42 GMT

What a wonderful tribute to your in laws.

I have been married twice (still with the second after 20+ years) and both my father, and both husband's fathers had all passed away when we were still children, so I never have had a father-in-law.

But, both of my mother-in-laws were wonderful people, and I simply can't share the 'moster-in-law' stories and experiences that so many do have. I didn't have either one long, but got along well with both, and miss them both very much.

I assume that I will be a mother-in-law in the foreseeable future, and am already thinking about how to be a good one.

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chrystaltree — Tue, 15 Dec 2015 16:27:26 GMT

I hope you told them how much they changed your life and how much they mean to you. I have to disagree with the idea that most inlaw situations are difficult or strained. I don't find that to be the case at all. Although it is in my case. I think relationships with inlaws start out rock, sometimes, because it's new and the people involved need time to get to know each other and adjust. My situation was the opposite, we were close for the first 10 years but 20 years ago, there was a rift and my mil and sil resisted all attempts to close that rift. Until quite recently when my mil extended an olive branch. Now, I am a mil and I try to use my own mother as a role model. My parents instinctively knew how to build a good relationship with the people their children married.

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2blonde — Tue, 15 Dec 2015 16:27:40 GMT

@Keeper of the koi That's wonderful! Maybe that was God's way of making up for what you missed with your own parents. I've been divorced for many, many years, but when I married young, I did marry into a very close and loving family. I remained friendly with them after the divorce. I also had a tumultuous childhood, so that was a blessing for me as well.

P.S. Welcome to the bulletin boards!

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151949 — Tue, 15 Dec 2015 16:27:43 GMT

I have never really had inlaws - my first marriage my MIL had been killed in WW11 in London by a rocket. My FIL lived in London and we lived in the USA, and he was not close with my husband. My second marriage both his parents had passed before we were married. He was very close with my parents though.

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adoreqvc — Tue, 15 Dec 2015 21:08:35 GMT

Hi Maryanne,

I would like to wish you and yours, blessed, joyous, and safe upcoming holidays 2015 & 2016.

I see we have even more in common, relative to your post.

In both my marriages I too was/and still am so very blessed with fantastic loving kind hearted inlaws.

Those who also are, indeed are very fortunate, because we cannot pick and choose, only pray for the best type of respectful caring and kind communications, with the parents of the spouse we love.

Also need to remember no matter what occurs, these 2 people brought forth your spouse, so there needs to be rememberance and respect regarding that fact, in all considerations.

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Puppy Lips — Tue, 15 Dec 2015 16:40:33 GMT

How great for you to have wonderful in-laws. I too was blessed in that way. My father in law was fantastic. He always made me feel welcome. He was very gracious. Sadly, he passed away a few years ago. It took me awhile to warm up to my mother in law. I would not say that we are particularly close. Now that she is in her early ninties, I see her differently. She used to scare me a bit. Now I wonder why I ever felt that way.

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grandmadiane — Tue, 15 Dec 2015 17:21:17 GMT

It is wonderful to here that you have had such a wonderful experience with your in laws. I have been married twice my first husbands mother was a wonderful person, his father passed away when he was a child my ex husband has passed away and his family still keeps in touch with me to this day. My second husband his mother never liked me from the start and has treated me badly for the past 26 yrs. Unfortunately she lives with us now because she has been kicked out of every place( senior apts, assistant living places) she has lived and no one wants to put up with her and she makes my life miserable. I am so glad that you are blessed with wonderful inlaws wish I was that fortunate the second time around:

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RedTop — Tue, 15 Dec 2015 17:33:22 GMT

My MIL was a very controlling woman, who had favorites among her children; I married one of her not so favorite children. To say she was hard to get along with is an understatement, as everything had to be done her way, or it was done wrong. She resented being a grandmother in her 40's, and the first grandchildren (all boys) were not blessed with much more than a tolerable relationship with her. By the time my daughters were born, my MIL was more accepting about being a grandmother, but my girls always sensed something they described as "fake" with her, and were never close to grandma. Neither daughter ever spent the night at grandma's house, nor wanted to spend time with her, unless my husband and I were there too. And as soon as each grandchild turned 18, there were no more gifts from grandma, unless they married and had babies.

My MIL has been gone 4 years, and Christmas is the time of year we feel her absence most. Starting with the first Christmas after the oldest son married, my MIL dominated Christmas Day from 4 p.m. until usually 9 p.m. She started a tradition and insisted on compliance from her children. No one was ever asked what worked for them, and in time it became quite clear the older grandchildren didn't want to be there, nor her children who were in their 50's. My MIL absolutely refused to change anything about the Christmas Day gathering---because she was afraid she would be home alone. The first Christmas she was gone, the children decided it was past time for them to have their own family celebrations, so they declared the Christmas Day gathering officially over! They all live within 10 miles of each other, so they gather at other times during the year, but do their own thing at Christmas. My children were in their 30's before ever getting the chance to spend the last part of Christmas Day at home, or in whatever way they choose.

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Peaches McPhee — Tue, 15 Dec 2015 18:02:22 GMT

I agree that inlaw relationships are not always contencious. I have a good relationship with my inlaws. My MIL in not my favorite person in the world, nor am I her's, but we do ok.

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Keeper of the koi — Tue, 15 Dec 2015 21:09:32 GMT

Thank you all for the replies! I am very happy to know many of you were blessed as I to have a beautiful relationship with your in-laws. I am sad for those that don't. They really contribute so much to our lives. Happy holidays dear posters! Maryanne

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Libbylady — Tue, 15 Dec 2015 21:20:48 GMT

I just came back from lunch with one of my DIL's mother. I feel so lucky that 2 out of 3 of my DIL's moms have become good friends. We share the joy of the grand children, and our children have no issues about inviting both families to holiday events.

One son & his wife have such a hard time dividing their time between her family and his (us) since her parents refuse to socialize with non-Catholics. Since DH & I are not at all religious, we didn't stand a chance with them from the start. They are good to our son, so whatever.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that good family relations with in-laws can be expanded beyond the initial couples, and everyone benefits.

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jubilant — Tue, 15 Dec 2015 21:43:23 GMT

My mother always called my Dad's mother "her second mom".

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Susan in California — Wed, 16 Dec 2015 02:54:00 GMT

@Keeper of the koi

I absolutely loved your post. It was wonderful in every way to read. It also made me realize how important it is as a mother-in-law (and father-in-law) to love your

children's spouses like your own children. And to let them know you love them.

Our two sons are married, and we love our daughter-in-laws so much! They

are great women, and they love our sons and our two darling granddaughters so

much. We feel blessed that we don't have to worry too much about them or our

grandchildren and how they are cared for or loved. Thank you so much for your

post. You sound like such a sweet person. Your in-laws love you very much probably for a good reason.

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pommom — Thu, 17 Dec 2015 23:36:37 GMT

I, too, was blessed with great in-laws. My MIL and I were like girl friends. We shopped well together. She was so helpful when we had her first, and only, grandchild. Her banana pudding has yet to be replicated. My FIL was salt-of-the-earth. Honest and open as the day is long. DD and I would go fishing with him after she turned 4 and beyond. Great, sweet memories. May they RIP.