topic Re: Ghosts in Among Friends

Ghosts

BeccaLou — Sun, 11 Oct 2020 07:37:33 GMT

Is it possible to have an affair with a past ex-husband that is deceased ? My friend is having intimate dreams with her ex-husband, and is going through a bad time with her present husband having health issues. And she says she does wake up happy and loved by her ex in these dreams. And she shared with me if this could be considered an affair.?

Re: Ghosts

aroc3435 — Sun, 11 Oct 2020 07:51:14 GMT

@BeccaLou I believe you can reassure your friend that these intimate dreams she is having about her deceased ex-husband do not constitute infidelity on her part.

She doesn't really have much control over her dreams and it may just be the subconscious telling her that despite her present difficulties with her ill husband's health problems that trying to be patiently loving will help her through this difficult time.

aroc3435

Washington, DC

Re: Ghosts

Shanus — Sun, 11 Oct 2020 09:46:24 GMT

No comment really on the dream issue, just happy to see I'm not the only one who couldn't sleep. 😴

Re: Ghosts

aroc3435 — Sun, 11 Oct 2020 09:59:31 GMT

@Shanus I'm definitely a night owl and always have been. When I decide to sleep, though, at whatever odd--to others--hour I drop off easily and quickly.

Significant Other is an early to bed and early to rise type of soul. So I get some of my much needed alone time during these odd hours.

aroc3435

Washington, DC

Re: Ghosts

Shanus — Sun, 11 Oct 2020 10:18:05 GMT

@aroc3435 I fall asleep fairly easily around 11PM, but sometimes by 3:30 begin dreaming about ideas for paintings or jewelry, paints and stones I'd use and before I know it, I need to get up and begin to sketch.

I'm also really hungry. Molly's asleep in the kitchen/sunroom and you know what they say about "letting sleeping dogs lie". So have to wait for coffee and maybe will make pancakes when DH gets up at 7. He sleeps like a log and doesn't even hear me sitting in bed with my IPAD. Must be nice.

Re: Ghosts

Shanus — Sun, 11 Oct 2020 10:24:05 GMT

@BeccaLou @aroc3435 If I had an ex-husband, deceased or otherwise, an intimate affair dream could be quite enjoyable.

As long as it's just a dream, your friend's not having an affair. I believe our dreams are not in our control. If they were, I'd still be asleep dreaming about my pancakes.

Re: Ghosts

Peaches McPhee — Sun, 11 Oct 2020 13:30:18 GMT

No. An affair is what you do when you are conscious. Not when you are asleep.

Re: Ghosts

LindaSal — Sun, 11 Oct 2020 13:51:44 GMT

She must be thinking of her ex husband in her sub conscious. No harm there, he was a part of her life at one time. She shouldn't be concerned at all.

Re: Ghosts

depglass — Sun, 11 Oct 2020 15:26:09 GMT

She might tell herself her ex possibly has more serious health issues than current husband. I think she might have regrets, even if she didn't initiate the divorce.

Re: Ghosts

Anonymous032819 — Sun, 11 Oct 2020 15:55:26 GMT

@depglass wrote:
She might tell herself her ex possibly has more serious health issues than current husband. I think she might have regrets, even if she didn't initiate the divorce.

@depglass

The ex is dead.

Re: Ghosts

Still Raining — Sun, 11 Oct 2020 19:20:16 GMT

Although this is usually a talk with tween boys, it can be a thing with all ages and sexes. Not sure this is a real question.

Re: Ghosts

Kachina624 — Sun, 11 Oct 2020 19:34:48 GMT

@BeccaLou In my experience, dreams about an ex-husband are more likely to be nightmares than romantic interludes. How soon some people forget!

Re: Ghosts

Silver Lining — Sun, 11 Oct 2020 19:46:55 GMT

Sexual dreams can temporarily satisfy physical needs or desires and are not affairs. In this case the lover is the deceased ex-husband.The only "bad" thing is when or if it negatively affects her marital relationship due to the comparison.

Re: Ghosts

Mindy D — Tue, 13 Oct 2020 06:08:32 GMT

@BeccaLou wrote:
Is it possible to have an affair with a past ex-husband that is deceased ? My friend is having intimate dreams with her ex-husband, and is going through a bad time with her present husband having health issues. And she says she does wake up happy and loved by her ex in these dreams. And she shared with me if this could be considered an affair.?

@BeccaLou @It's a dream. It's not an affair.

Re: Ghosts

twentysixteen — Sun, 25 Oct 2020 01:31:48 GMT

@LindaSal wrote:
She must be thinking of her ex husband in her sub conscious. No harm there, he was a part of her life at one time. She shouldn't be concerned at all.

@LindaSal
Agree.

Re: Ghosts

Nonametoday — Sun, 25 Oct 2020 01:37:30 GMT

The subconscious is seeking relief from the hard days of caregiving for current husband and it reverts to a happier time and that is our mind's way of preventing what we might call "crack ups."

Re: Ghosts

shoesnbags — Sun, 25 Oct 2020 02:02:47 GMT

@Anonymous032819 wrote:
@depglass wrote:
She might tell herself her ex possibly has more serious health issues than current husband. I think she might have regrets, even if she didn't initiate the divorce.

@depglass

The ex is dead.

Well that's definitely a serious health issue!

Re: Ghosts

Lucky Charm — Sun, 25 Oct 2020 02:58:00 GMT

For one, you can't have an affair with someone's who's dead.

Secondly, she's not having intimate dreams with her ex-husband, she's having these dreams of her ex-husband.

It's a shame her present husband is having serious health issues. I've always believed that even when things are bad, there is still intimate love and it's a way of telling our bodies we still want to live on. She may want to work on that with her DH.