topic Re: Drive By Virtual Showers in Among Friends

Drive By Virtual Showers

Twins Mom — Fri, 29 May 2020 01:11:06 GMT

If anyone has experienced one of these occasions, I would appreciate sharing your experience.

I realize weddings and baby showers are special occasions undergoing changes due to Covid. Never having been a fan of showers, I would appreciate some perspective. I am sure mine is outdated and sure to offend. I am from the generation when ru!e was family does not give showers but now it seems couple themselves gjve. In the case of baby shower I realize it's prudent to have necessities ahead of time. I recently saw on FB where new mom posted picture of each of her gifts with thank you to individual. I find that distasteful given the openness of social media. Is this the norm?

Re: Drive By Virtual Showers

KarenQVC — Fri, 29 May 2020 01:48:28 GMT

Oh, gee, given the times I would just skip the shower. Seems more discreet.

Re: Drive By Virtual Showers

J Town Girl — Fri, 29 May 2020 17:15:28 GMT

I think posting pictures of the gifts and mentioning the name of the individual who bought them is tacky. What is wrong with just saying I thank everyone who bought me a gift and then sending each person a private thank you card.

The lack of proper etiquette among so many people today just is mind boggling. It seems like once social media took over all sense of propriety just went out the window.

I've seen people post intimate details on their Facebook page that I wouldn't even tell my best friend.

The other day I was watching a Youtuber who went into graphic details about her monthly cycle. As women we all experience it but geez putting all that information out there to live on forever in Youtube Land. She said things that I wouldn't have shared with my own mother.

Use a little discretion Ms vlogger!

Re: Drive By Virtual Showers

MLM21 — Fri, 29 May 2020 11:14:32 GMT

Mind you I am not much on weddings and the only wedding shower I have been to was my neices and she had it on Zoom and Facebook Live at the same time. Honestly I am not driving to Maine (even during normal times) for a wedding shower as the online kind of confirmed, they are they are boring as heck.

I agree that I'd rather her just opened it in private and had her send a card then say thank you over Facebook Live or Zoom.

Since my neice and husband are actually already married (in a courthouse 1.5 years ago) and are having a "wedding" over 4th of July weekeng and already have a household set up. Having a wedding shower is pointless to me. That is one reason I never wanted one, as we already had a household. So why have one? Plus I never wanted one even if I did not have a household (which, again, most people now a days already have a house and stuff before marriage).

Re: Drive By Virtual Showers

Anonymous032819 — Fri, 29 May 2020 11:48:33 GMT

@J Town Girl wrote:
I think posting pictures of the gifts and mentioning the name of the individual who bought them is tacky. What is wrong with just saying I thank everyone who bought me a gift and then sending each person a private thank you card.

The lack of proper etiquette among so many people today just is mind boggling. It seems like once social media took over all sense of propriety just went out the window.

I've seen people post intimate details on their Facebook page that I wouldn't even tell my BF.

The other day I was watching a Youtuber who went into graphic details about her monthly cycle. As women we all experience it but geez putting all that information out there to live on forever in Youtube Land. She said things that I wouldn't have shared with my own mother.

Use a little discretion Ms vlogger!

At least it's a thank-you!

With people practically boiling their mail in order to make sure that the mail is "germ free", you'd think that they would be happy to get any kind of a thank-you.

Re: Drive By Virtual Showers

depglass — Fri, 29 May 2020 14:01:28 GMT

I agree, posting a pic and a thank you is better than nothing. I once went to a wedding where the bride handed out little rolled scrolls printed as a blanket thank you. After I had purchased a gift, bought a dress and had my hair done, I felt she could have gone to the trouble of writing a note and mailing it. Let's change that to they, he could have helped.

Re: Drive By Virtual Showers

Mindy D — Fri, 29 May 2020 15:21:16 GMT

@Twins Mom wrote:
If anyone has experienced one of these occasions, I would appreciate sharing your experience.
I realize weddings and baby showers are special occasions undergoing changes due to Covid. Never having been a fan of showers, I would appreciate some perspective. I am sure mine is outdated and sure to offend. I am from the generation when ru!e was family does not give showers but now it seems couple themselves gjve. In the case of baby shower I realize it's prudent to have necessities ahead of time. I recently saw on FB where new mom posted picture of each of her gifts with thank you to individual. I find that distasteful given the openness of social media. Is this the norm?

Right now, it's hard to do showers the way that they are traditionally held. There's no new way to follow the exact, traditional rules of etiquette . People have to wing it and play it by ear. I see nothing wrong with with video showers. I don't think they belong on YouTube unless the person that the shower is for has a YouTube channel. Most of the video showers are private, but sometimes the invitations might be posted on FB. I'm hoping our family will do something online for my niece. So far, no one has stepped up to the plate and volunteered to host. I thought her sister would do this, so I, waiting to see. It would be private, knowing our family. My niece can't hear, so she will have to sign, and her sister, dad and mom would have to translate in real time. She has already bought so much because she's been so worried she won't be able to find what's needed and she and her SO are on a tight budget. This doesn't leave much to buy for her. I have to add that it is really tough to be pregnant right now. She is scared of so much. Knowing our family, we will probably tell her not to send out written thank yous. Her stress level is currently off the charts. 🍼

Re: Drive By Virtual Showers

corita — Fri, 29 May 2020 17:38:00 GMT

Don't know if this would work well for a shower, but...my DD went to a really neat birthday celebration designed for this Covid situation!!

Her friend - birthday girl - hung a big Piñata in her back

yard. She invited all her friends to come to her house to hit the Piñata during a certain time period. There could only be one family in the yard at a time and had to bring their own stick. She sat on the porch swing, watched and waved to all!!! My DD loved it!!!

Re: Drive By Virtual Showers

CelticCrafter — Fri, 29 May 2020 18:06:24 GMT

If they are doing a parade with balloons, signs, horns honking and someone running out to the car to collect the gift it's advertising to the world that there is a lot of new stuff in the house.

If you must, send the gift and set up a date for a zoom gathering to open the gifts with everyone involved.

Re: Drive By Virtual Showers

Twins Mom — Fri, 29 May 2020 19:04:09 GMT

@CelticCrafter

You bring up some very valid points!

Re: Drive By Virtual Showers

Peaches McPhee — Fri, 29 May 2020 19:10:33 GMT

I am over the old idea that a family member can't host a shower. The purpose is the same no matter who hosts,

Re: Drive By Virtual Showers

RedTop — Fri, 29 May 2020 21:23:27 GMT

I am totally anti shower, period.

I had one wedding shower, because my mother insisted; it was for close family on both sides only, and was very informal and relaxed. I tolerated the evening, but made it very clear that was the last shower ever, for me.

There were NO baby showers; my thoughts about these gatherings hadn’t changed over the years, and all offers for one were refused.

With the help of my oldest SIL, we gave a baby shower for my youngest SIL. She shared my same opinion of showers, so it was a nice afternoon of eating and opening gifts.

Re: Drive By Virtual Showers

corita — Fri, 29 May 2020 21:56:30 GMT

I am not a big fan of showers either. When I got married, I did not want people to have to spend money on a shower gift and a wedding gift.

My mother's friends - who were all like aunts - wanted to give me a shower. So we had a recipe shower!! All my mother's gals brought handwritten recipe cards of cherished family recipes!! Some one - probably my mother - bought a really nice recipe box and the recipe notes went in there. After 50 years, I still have those recipe cards!!!

Have to say -- some of the recipes tried were not my favorites. But I did/do love many of the goodies created from those recipes!!