topic Re: Why oh why would someone do this? in Among Friends

Why oh why would someone do this?

mintedrose — Thu, 02 Apr 2020 04:53:40 GMT

Just found out that my niece's boyfriend proposed to her on his birthday party. Im not sure why people are still having birthday parties as we're going through such difficult times, but his mom arranged the party and invited "some people". As everyone got singing happy birthday to him, he proposed to my neice. I dont know this guy but if he really cared for her why oh why would be put her in danger around other people and do this in the middle of a pandemic. Why now? Why cant he wait while this is over? My neice just started med school last year and we are all shocked as to why he's rushing. I dont feel good about this but I didnt say anything to my neice as I wanna be supportive. I love her and want her to be happy but I dont want her to get thrown off her path. Shes uber smart and needs to finish med school. Ive never met him but this action makes me not like this guy much already.

Re: Why oh why would someone do this?

BeccaLou — Thu, 02 Apr 2020 04:53:33 GMT

@mintedrose Well they didn't get married yet. Are they talking about that they set a date, if not, wait and see before you make yourself sick.

Re: Why oh why would someone do this?

Carmie — Thu, 02 Apr 2020 05:49:55 GMT

Why oh why did your neice agree to attend a birthday party when she knows it is forbidden right now and dangerous?

You are blaming her new fiance, but she is off of the hook?

BTW, my nephew is in med school and he got married right after he was accepted. I think it helps them get grants and other financial help, so this is probably a good thing. A young married couple with no money with one party attending med school works out better than having mom and dad try to foot a big bill.

Your niece is an adult..I say stay out of it.

Re: Why oh why would someone do this?

Katcat1 — Thu, 02 Apr 2020 06:16:49 GMT

Whoever arranged this party is delusional and it sounds like he is lacking in the common sense dept. You can die from COVID 19 and when the president says or your governor says social distancing, that is exactly what it means. I want no one in my face during this time.

Re: Why oh why would someone do this?

RedLipstick — Thu, 02 Apr 2020 06:43:05 GMT

Even though I do not know the region of the states this took place in I agree it is not appropriate timing. I am amazed that he did this on his birthday. Outside influence can surely work wonders in the wrong direction. I know I have one in my own family. Always ready for a wrong turn direction which can hurt or harm one. Hopefully there were no children involved or elderly who might think they are safe from harm because they are with family members.

As to why now? There might be many reasons but this girl needs time to study and to keep focused. Distractions abound, but a boyfriend or now fiance well he will want attention in many directions and she can or will be distracted. College is hard in that choosen direction or field. Just my version which can be called dated, but I have a brother to prove it.

Wishing her well.

Re: Why oh why would someone do this?

mintedrose — Thu, 02 Apr 2020 06:48:46 GMT

@Carmie im not sure why you're trying to be so sarcastic in your post but from what my niece knew there wasnt supposed to be that many people there. Her parents are ok with supporting her in every way so to assume that its better to get married for financial reasons is rather an immature and irresponsible advice.

Re: Why oh why would someone do this?

Catty2 — Thu, 02 Apr 2020 07:16:09 GMT

Sounds like bad choices all around - the party with people close together and the proposal. Maybe he was afraid she'd say no if they were alone. Hope she doesn't change her plans for med school.

Re: Why oh why would someone do this?

kitcat51 — Thu, 02 Apr 2020 07:52:08 GMT

Oh, good grief.

Re: Why oh why would someone do this?

AuntG — Thu, 02 Apr 2020 10:44:27 GMT

Whoever arranged the party seems out of touch with the world. However, getting engaged doesn't bother me. They may not be planning to rush into marriage.

Re: Why oh why would someone do this?

mimomof4 — Thu, 02 Apr 2020 10:57:21 GMT

I won't comment on the party part of your post.

As far as the engagement - People need something positive these days. We are surrounded by so much negativity and doom and gloom wouldn't it be nice to have something happy to look forward to them. If they can make it through all of this toghether it will make them a stronger couple.

Re: Why oh why would someone do this?

wishmoon — Thu, 02 Apr 2020 11:22:44 GMT

I can't believe that a young woman who was planning to be a doctor would attend a party knowing there was a global pandemic. You may not want to hear it, OP, but your relative doesn't make the best choices, she is, at best, very irresponsible, as is every other attendee of the party.

Re: Why oh why would someone do this?

Silver Lining — Thu, 02 Apr 2020 11:29:17 GMT

@mintedrose wrote:
Just found out that my niece's boyfriend proposed to her on his birthday party. Im not sure why people are still having birthday parties as we're going through such difficult times, but his mom arranged the party and invited "some people". As everyone got singing happy birthday to him, he proposed to my neice. I dont know this guy but if he really cared for her why oh why would be put her in danger around other people and do this in the middle of a pandemic. Why now? Why cant he wait while this is over? My neice just started med school last year and we are all shocked as to why he's rushing. I dont feel good about this but I didnt say anything to my neice as I wanna be supportive. I love her and want her to be happy but I dont want her to get thrown off her path. Shes uber smart and needs to finish med school. Ive never met him but this action makes me not like this guy much already.

I won't comment on any aspect of the birthday party or the proposal without additional information. About your disapproval regarding your niece's engagement, it's inappropriate for you to meddle in her business. You said you don't like her fiance although you've never met him. Your attitude about him and the engagement will be obvious whether you discuss it with your niece or not.

As to a person in medical school being engaged or married, it is usually beneficial in numerous ways. My nephew got married shortly after graduating from college and beginning med school. It's good to have a partner to share the trials and tribulations plus the affection, support and financial committment.

Re: Why oh why would someone do this?

software — Thu, 02 Apr 2020 11:59:01 GMT

@Katcat1 wrote:
Whoever arranged this party is delusional and it sounds like he is lacking in the common sense dept. You can die from COVID 19 and when the president says or your governor says social distancing, that is exactly what it means. I want no one in my face during this time.

Yes & those who attended, too

Re: Why oh why would someone do this?

software — Thu, 02 Apr 2020 12:02:27 GMT

@Silver Lining wrote:

@mintedrose wrote:
Just found out that my niece's boyfriend proposed to her on his birthday party. Im not sure why people are still having birthday parties as we're going through such difficult times, but his mom arranged the party and invited "some people". As everyone got singing happy birthday to him, he proposed to my neice. I dont know this guy but if he really cared for her why oh why would be put her in danger around other people and do this in the middle of a pandemic. Why now? Why cant he wait while this is over? My neice just started med school last year and we are all shocked as to why he's rushing. I dont feel good about this but I didnt say anything to my neice as I wanna be supportive. I love her and want her to be happy but I dont want her to get thrown off her path. Shes uber smart and needs to finish med school. Ive never met him but this action makes me not like this guy much already.

I won't comment on any aspect of the birthday party or the proposal without additional information. About your disapproval regarding your niece's engagement, it's inappropriate for you to meddle in her business. You said you don't like her fiance although you've never met him. Your attitude about him and the engagement will be obvious whether you discuss it with your niece or not.

As to a person in medical school being engaged or married, it is usually beneficial in numerous ways. My nephew got married shortly after graduating from college and beginning med school. It's good to have a partner to share the trials and tribulations plus the affection, support and financial committment.

It can be beneficial for a male med student, not sure it works the same for women.

Re: Why oh why would someone do this?

Imaoldhippie — Thu, 02 Apr 2020 12:14:49 GMT

There is no explanation on human behavior, good or bad.

This event just happened and you are worried, relax a whole lot can happen, especially if your niece is as smart as you say she is.

Re: Why oh why would someone do this?

kaydee50 — Thu, 02 Apr 2020 12:25:51 GMT

Life goes on regardless of pandemics or anything else.

Re: Why oh why would someone do this?

Carmie — Thu, 02 Apr 2020 12:57:46 GMT

@mintedrose wrote:
@Carmie im not sure why you're trying to be so sarcastic in your post but from what my niece knew there wasnt supposed to be that many people there. Her parents are ok with supporting her in every way so to assume that its better to get married for financial reasons is rather an immature and irresponsible advice.

There was no sarcasm in what I said, not even a hint.

i truly meant it. Your niece is an adult. It is none of your business if she has a boyfriend and is engaged. If you were close with her, she would have introduced her boyfriend to you before the engagement. You haven't even met him and you dislike him.

You are blaming her boyfriend and his mother for the party, but she was not an innocent bystander. She chose to go. The last time I heard, she, as the rest of us were advised not to visit anyone.

i didn't say she was getting married for financial reasons, but it won't hurt. It was not advice, just an observation.

My nephew is doing well with his schooling and has not been distracted by his wife. I am sure your niece will do well too. It takes a special kind of person to be a doctor.

I have two nieces who are doctors and one who is a Physician's Assistant and another who is a Nurse Practioner. They all worked hard and they made it. Your niece will too.

Again, Butt out of her business.

I wonder how your niece would react to your post. I would be livid and She probably would be too.

Re: Why oh why would someone do this?

CelticCrafter — Thu, 02 Apr 2020 13:24:28 GMT

@mintedrose , it's really none of your business.

Re: Why oh why would someone do this?

riley1 — Thu, 02 Apr 2020 13:32:36 GMT

IMO, you are putting the blame on the wrong person. Whether there was a few people or 25, there should not have been a gathering.

Re: Why oh why would someone do this?

happycat — Fri, 03 Apr 2020 00:27:24 GMT

People who continue to ignore the warnings is why I am beginning to wonder if we will ever be rid of this scourge on humanity.

Between the people ignoring, and these people who have to go to work, I think we are in for a heartbreaking disaster.

No matter who invited me somewhere, I wouldn't be going if there were going to be many people. Just not worth it.