topic Re: Facebook debacle... in Among Friends

Facebook debacle...

majaca — Sat, 09 Jan 2021 03:48:39 GMT

There are several ppl on my FB friends list, whom I'd like to unfriend.

I am a very private person. I don't post a ton of pictures or personal stories on my FB page, but on occasion, I do.

I have many relatives on my friends list. I would never delete any of my relatives, even the ones whom I never hear from.

Here are my options:

1. Just unfriend them and have them wonder if I'm angry or some awkward such...

2. Keep them on and just deal..

3. Post a comment to just those ppl, (this can be done in settings) explaining that I will be going through my friends' list and that if they are unfriended by me, to please understand.

Can y'all help?

Re: Facebook debacle...

reiki604 — Sun, 15 Nov 2015 14:07:20 GMT

Just unfriend them. They aren't notified what you did, they just will not see anything you post anymore and vice versa. These people don't mean anything to you, so who cares what they think if somehow they find out.

Re: Facebook debacle...

majaca — Sun, 15 Nov 2015 14:13:17 GMT

I think my main fear is that (since they are gossipers) they will spread it around my street..."oh, 'SHE' unfriended me..." Or, that somehow my kids would suffer in the 'street' dynamics. Maybe I am worrying too much. But, these are NEIGHBORS, not ppl I'd be real friends with!

KWIM?

Re: Facebook debacle...

reiki604 — Sun, 15 Nov 2015 14:17:26 GMT

Do you really think kids care or pay attention to whom their parents Facebook with? As to you other concern..........you can't be a victim without your consent.

Re: Facebook debacle...

ForumOlivia — Sun, 15 Nov 2015 14:32:33 GMT

I had a similar situation! One day, I just went in and started unfriending. I only kept people who meant something to me. I ended up deleting nearly 100 'friends' over the span of a few days.

I understand the hesitation but once I started, it actually felt so freeing - I was in charge! No one ever said a thing, even my self-absorbed niece who wished other family members Happy Birthday, congrats, etc. all the time but always ignored me.

Most people only care about themselves so they likely won't notice. But, if you really feel you'll need an explanation some day - just say you decided to keep FB for family only.

Do it!

Re: Facebook debacle...

majaca — Sun, 15 Nov 2015 14:47:03 GMT

@reiki604 wrote:
Do you really think kids care or pay attention to whom their parents Facebook with? As to you other concern..........you can't be a victim without your consent.

You misunderstood what I meant. Thanks for your post.

Re: Facebook debacle...

majaca — Sun, 15 Nov 2015 14:50:26 GMT

@ForumOlivia wrote:
I had a similar situation! One day, I just went in and started unfriending. I only kept people who meant something to me. I ended up deleting nearly 100 'friends' over the span of a few days.

I understand the hesitation but once I started, it actually felt so freeing - I was in charge! No one ever said a thing, even my self-absorbed niece who wished other family members Happy Birthday, congrats, etc. all the time but always ignored me.

Most people only care about themselves so they likely won't notice. But, if you really feel you'll need an explanation some day - just say you decided to keep FB for family only.

Do it!

So sweet. I deleted a few just a few minutes ago. A few others, who I am still struggling with deleting...I made sure that they were listed as RESTRICTED friends. Meaning that they can only see what I allow the public to see on my page. NOT MUCH!! LOL.

Thank you, ForumOlivia, you 'get it'.

Re: Facebook debacle...

ForumOlivia — Sun, 15 Nov 2015 15:15:12 GMT

Good for you! I do indeed get it

Now go enjoy this beautiful day!!

Re: Facebook debacle...

RedTop — Sun, 15 Nov 2015 15:33:58 GMT

I don't do Facebook; have just never had an interest. I think its a very good tool for helping family and friends stay in touch, but many times it is a wide open stage for drama. Some of my husband's idiot relatives created a lot of ugly drama on Facebook when one of their older relatives died, which resulted in the loss of their account. It was the best thing that could've happened to them, as you can't fix stupid.

Re: Facebook debacle...

Peaches McPhee — Sun, 15 Nov 2015 15:44:23 GMT

@majaca wrote:
I think my main fear is that (since they are gossipers) they will spread it around my street..."oh, 'SHE' unfriended me..." Or, that somehow my kids would suffer in the 'street' dynamics. Maybe I am worrying too much. But, these are NEIGHBORS, not ppl I'd be real friends with!

KWIM?

Good grief, Majaca. Do you live in Peyton Place?

Re: Facebook debacle...

RetRN — Sun, 15 Nov 2015 15:49:24 GMT

I don't think Facebook is for private or humble people. It seems like one big brag fest from what I hear from people who have been on it. Greatest kids, grandkids, spouse, family, upgrading home, buying new vehicle, trips to the best places, smartest and most successful kids, and on and on. I think real friends share and stay in touch without Facebook.

Re: Facebook debacle...

Adamlambert — Sun, 15 Nov 2015 16:18:53 GMT

I'm unfriended a lot and don't notice or care really. Sometimes I will think I haven't heard from someone and that's why.

Re: Facebook debacle...

Adamlambert — Sun, 15 Nov 2015 16:20:00 GMT

I'm unfriended because I like a gay singer and fanatics from high school can't take it. Oh well.

Re: Facebook debacle...

ladyroxanne — Sun, 15 Nov 2015 17:12:37 GMT

i'm not to crazy about facebook myself. i have friends and i have no clue who they are. i don't post anything personal so that's ok. i friended them so it's my fault, but i thought ok, i must know who they are. nope!!

i also have religious fanatics and political nuts so i blocked them. i don't care to see that stuff.

Re: Facebook debacle...

taginsc2016 — Sun, 15 Nov 2015 17:14:10 GMT

I feel your pain majaca. I also have a ton of ppl I have blocked. We are very similar in alot of ways. I really liked FB at 1st but now, I cannot handle all the negativity,drama,etc. I keep my page to keep up w/my daughter at college & several other long-time friends. I don't post either. I have filled my pg w/nothing but things I like.(QVC ppl,my dog,my kids etc) For every person I block, I follow something positive.

When you go on to block ppl, instead of blocking, it will ask you to just hide their posts so you don't see them. Thats what I do. You don't see their posts & I believe they don't see your? Or you could just create a new 1. And then send all the ppl you like a new friend request & explain what your doing. I've had friends do that. (I asked them cause I thought maybe someone was creating a fake account in their name)

Re: Facebook debacle...

Sooner — Sun, 15 Nov 2015 17:16:20 GMT

@RetRN wrote:
I don't think Facebook is for private or humble people. It seems like one big brag fest from what I hear from people who have been on it. Greatest kids, grandkids, spouse, family, upgrading home, buying new vehicle, trips to the best places, smartest and most successful kids, and on and on. I think real friends share and stay in touch without Facebook.

I think Facebook is junior high school all over again. For adults who value their privacy I'd say stay away from Facebook.

Re: Facebook debacle...

Adamlambert — Sun, 15 Nov 2015 17:28:38 GMT

Lol Sooner, it's funny too what people brag about. This morning I actually had a post bragging that his teenager was a being a good dad to his girlfriend's baby that she just had.

Re: Facebook debacle...

Moonchilde — Sun, 15 Nov 2015 17:52:18 GMT

OP, I certainly "get it" - but you've had good advice here and you've 'done the deed' 😉

None of them will ever be notified that they've been unfriended. If they ever notice (there is a way for them to check, if they want to, but it involves a little effort), I'd say you were right and they *were* being nosy. No loss. And as someone else suggested, if they are bold enough to ask, just say you've decided it's family only. Enjoy your new FB!

Re: Facebook debacle...

Desertdi — Sun, 15 Nov 2015 18:00:47 GMT

@Adamlambert wrote:
I'm unfriended because I like a gay singer and fanatics from high school can't take it. Oh well.

I was unfriended because I'm not "big enough". Still not sure what that meant....................

Re: Facebook debacle...

dooBdoo — Sun, 15 Nov 2015 19:03:06 GMT

I wanted to mention: even though it might appear that people are ignoring Facebook posts, the problem quite often is that the weird algorithms used on the site cause some of us not to even see certain friends' posts unless we make a special effort to go to their Timeline and read there.

Yes, there are lots of options to try and make their posts show up for us (such as designating "close friends or acquaintances," liking/responding to more of their posts, using the "See First" option, etc.), but even using those we don't have the control we once had over our News Feed.

So, as I said, while it might appear they're ignoring us... in truth, some of them never actually see our posts.

I'll add that Facebook is nothing more than a complex social-media tool, and I still think we can choose to make it relatively private (be aware of all settings, don't add personal info to your account -- no address, phone number, personal photos, etc.; no geotagging/location services identification; only "friend" people you actually know; etc.), useful and enjoyable.

@majaca, I'm sorry you and others have had problems. I know it can be beyond frustrating.