topic Re: What Should I Do? in Among Friends

What Should I Do?

SeaMaiden — Wed, 19 Feb 2020 19:13:34 GMT

So here is the situation. Married 40 years.

I want to get my front teeth done with veneers. Cost is about $10,000. My teeth look old...yellow, have cracks down my two front teeth....I do not want to smile because of it. I am self conscious....

When I bring the idea up with. DH, he says...."that's a lot of money".

Of course it is a lot of money. I want to do it for myself. I am 64. Still want to feel good about myself.

We have the money.

What do I say to him to be on board with this idea?

I know I can just do it....

but, I want HIM to say " Do It! If it makes you feel better, Do it!"

Re: What Should I Do?

camelot — Wed, 19 Feb 2020 19:16:19 GMT

Find a compromise. Do you have a dental school nearby? They do dental work at much less than a private DDS. They do good work.

Re: What Should I Do?

goldensrbest — Wed, 19 Feb 2020 19:17:41 GMT

It is alot of money,i would have to just not have it done.

Re: What Should I Do?

NickNack — Wed, 19 Feb 2020 19:19:27 GMT

That's too much money for me to even consider.

Re: What Should I Do?

MoonieBaby — Wed, 19 Feb 2020 19:21:20 GMT

I have to admit - money invested in our overall well being is just that - an investment that immediately GIVES US A RETURN ON OUR MONEY, please continue to have meaningful chats with your "not yet convinced" husband.

Try to make him realize the huge benefit - but to that end also confer with your dentist about a cheaper, yet just as effective alternative.

Perhaps there is a solution that would require less out of pocket and give you a beautiful and shiny happy smile - one you'll be proud to show "MUPPET STYLE" ear to ear!!!!

Good Luck....and be patient. It will work out for you soon enough.

Re: What Should I Do?

Free2be — Wed, 19 Feb 2020 19:21:13 GMT

That expense is exhorbitantly criminal, imo. The dental school idea is a good one. A lot of people, and I mean a LOT of people go across the border into Mexico for good dental care. Sad to say, but a fact. Worth looking into for a fraction of the cost.

Re: What Should I Do?

Puppy Lips — Wed, 19 Feb 2020 19:21:10 GMT

I am lucky in that I think my husband would tell me to go ahead and do it, even if we did not have the money.

I think for him to be on board, he would have to understand how your current dental situation makes you feel. I think in general, men don't really care about their appearance as much as women do. If you really are unhappy, then do it. You have many good years ahead of you.

Maybe once he sees how happy you are, and how often you smile, after the procedure, he will finally get it. Good luck to you!

Re: What Should I Do?

wishmoon — Wed, 19 Feb 2020 19:22:21 GMT

Explain your reasoning. He doesn't understand, he sees you as beautiful (be happy) but what you see yourself as is important. Tell him that you'd love to "just" smile and not worry about ppl seeing your teeth. Everyone wants to share a smile.

Good luck!

Re: What Should I Do?

nanny24 — Wed, 19 Feb 2020 19:23:17 GMT

I would totally get it done if it would make you feel good about yourself. I had a procedure done about 10 years ago that I wanted a for a long time. My hubby was totally on board, and I have never regretted it. Life is short, and even though it is a lot of $$$, you said you have it, so go for it!! I hope you get it done and totally love the result!!

Re: What Should I Do?

Ruby Laine — Wed, 19 Feb 2020 19:26:02 GMT

I say go for it. You will be so glad that you did! Maybe your husband never will say it's a great idea, but that's ok. He didn't say, "What are you thinking?! No way!" It is a lot of money, but it's more important that you don't feel self-conscious anymore. I bet he ends up being glad you did it, too, just because it makes you happy.

Re: What Should I Do?

I am still oxox — Wed, 19 Feb 2020 19:26:35 GMT

10,000 is a huge price tag

Re: What Should I Do?

nana59 — Wed, 19 Feb 2020 19:28:27 GMT

i don't understand the ridiculous prices dentists charge...i think a heart transplant costs less than what dentists are charging for any dental procedure... jmo....

Re: What Should I Do?

Kitt2 — Wed, 19 Feb 2020 19:29:49 GMT

I hope I don't take a lot of flack about this but "DO IT" There is a lot of financing out there "O" percent for two years on credit cart etc. You said it's affordable to you, It will make you happy and you are in your sixties and your teeth are in need of repair. There are so many options for you now in the Dental field. Go and get a few estimates and ideas show him the options that were presented to you. God Bless.

Re: What Should I Do?

Sooner — Wed, 19 Feb 2020 19:31:25 GMT

@SeaMaiden Ok, here's a question: What would it do to the rest of your face? With a perfect smile, are YOU going to see more aging skin, then think you really should get a face lift or have other cosmetic work done.

I'd go to a dentist who can take your picture and show you the completed work would look if you can do that.

I am saying that our appearance doesn't rest on one thing that you see. It's your hair, skin, facial features, body, weight, grooming,dress, and perhaps most of all your personality that makes us who we are and affects our appearance.

SO, just carefully consider the whole YOU and think what will the veneers do, how much and what will that affect, and how much it will do for YOU as the person you are.

You always have to step back and think what will really make the most difference in the whole, and sometimes it is not what we think at first glance.

Good luck! And whatever you decide, do ONE other thing to "improve" YOU!!!! A small thing, but something that makes YOU feel good--new shoes, new hairstyle, etc.

Re: What Should I Do?

camelot — Wed, 19 Feb 2020 19:32:35 GMT

Nananana59: Seriously NOT!!!

DDS go to school a long time to learn.They are licensed, insured, have student loans and have a dental practice to run. It costs $$.

Re: What Should I Do?

Imaoldhippie — Wed, 19 Feb 2020 19:33:16 GMT

Hubby did not say do it, so doubt if he will. The decision is yours. Good luck with whatever your decision is.

Re: What Should I Do?

eddyandme — Wed, 19 Feb 2020 19:38:01 GMT

I would tell DH $10K is a #ell cheaper than the cost of a divorce!!!! (Only kidding!)

Takes out a personal loan, interest rates are at an all-time low, I believe; you can claim it on your taxes - must spend $5K annually, I believe. So, it's a win-win situation.

I'd also shop around. Dentists are like thieves! This it's time that they should have to get state rate approval annually like hospitals, utilities, etc., must do when dealing with the public. It's about time someone cracks down on them, imho.

Good luck and enjoy your new look!

Re: What Should I Do?

fthunt — Wed, 19 Feb 2020 19:40:18 GMT

As a suggestion - I don't know the official name for the material dentist use to blend over cracks and lines but........I had my two top front teeth done last year for $500

History - back in the day when we used bobby-pins to set curls - many had no protective coating on the end of pins............I developed lines down both teeth...and my mother had one of her teeth split down the center. Those lines bothered me for years - until 2019 I mentioned it to dentist. She proceeded to set the bonding material up - applied it and then dried (cured) it with a light gun. It only took minutes and I was out of there.

Perhaps you could have a couple of teeth done at a time as your budget allows. Just something to consider

My vertical scars are gone!

Re: What Should I Do?

SeaMaiden — Wed, 19 Feb 2020 19:46:38 GMT

@I am still oxox wrote:
10,000 is a huge price tag

@I am still oxox Have you compared prices for cosmetic dental work. It is not an unusual price.

Re: What Should I Do?

threecees — Wed, 19 Feb 2020 19:48:49 GMT

Do it for yourself. It is expensive and the cost will increase even

more if you wait longer and put it off.

Maybe after all of it is completed he will say that it turned out

great and it was the right decision.

If it will make you happy, then do it!