topic Single and childless in Among Friends

Single and childless

texassunflower — Thu, 05 Sep 2019 19:54:59 GMT

I am single, never married and have no children. I took early retirement to care for a sick parent. My mom passed away a year ago. I have returned to work part-time only due to a lousy back. I can't sit or stand any Ionger for lengthy periods. I sub half days three days a week. I have had a hard time adjusting to living alone again. Most of my friends still work full-time and are busy with family on the weekends. I have alot of spare time during the week and I am curious what others do to pass the time. I never dreamed in retirement that I would be anxious and bored. Like many others, I looked forward to retirement and had numerous plans.

Re: Single and childless

Misplaced Parisian — Thu, 05 Sep 2019 20:01:33 GMT

@texassunflower Do you have something that you really enjoy where you could volunteer? Or maybe you like to read and could join a book club? Maybe there is a hobby you wanted to learn/do and now you have the time to do so? Just a few ideas that popped into my head when I read your post. I'm wishing you the best.

Re: Single and childless

Nancy Drew — Thu, 05 Sep 2019 20:02:27 GMT

I am an empty nester and husband stills works and I don’t.I spent the summer volunteering. I don’t enjoy golf as much as I used too. You can only go out to eat, church and movies so much. I learned so much and met new people. Just bite the bullet and do it.

Re: Single and childless

lulutoby — Thu, 05 Sep 2019 20:03:36 GMT

Volunteer to a cause close to your heart. It would be wonderful.

It get's you out and about plus serves as a purpose for the day.

I just work part time and have a little extra income so that also helps from the daily routine of just looking at 4 walls.

Congrats on your retirement. Take time to enjoy.

@texassunflower

Re: Single and childless

kaydee50 — Thu, 05 Sep 2019 20:06:21 GMT

As my father used to say "Life is what you make it." My suggestions -- get involved in a volunteer activity. Are you a teacher since you "sub" part time? Can you tutor students? Teach ESL?

Take an exercise class, e.g., tai chi, yoga, join a gym.

Get a pet.

Don't know where you live but there should be opportunities to get involved and meet people but you must make the effort. Do not expect anyone to knock on your door.

Re: Single and childless

Mindy D — Thu, 05 Sep 2019 20:11:50 GMT

@texassunflower wrote:
I am single, never married and have no children. I took early retirement to care for a sick parent. My mom passed away a year ago. I have returned to work part-time only due to a lousy back. I can't sit or stand any Ionger for lengthy periods. I sub half days three days a week. I have had a hard time adjusting to living alone again. Most of my friends still work full-time and are busy with family on the weekends. I have alot of spare time during the week and I am curious what others do to pass the time. I never dreamed in retirement that I would be anxious and bored. Like many others, I looked forward to retirement and had numerous plans.

I share most of these things with you. You have my sympathetic thoughts.

Re: Single and childless

2blonde — Thu, 05 Sep 2019 20:23:34 GMT

@texassunflower I vote for joining a gym. You may find that using machines for a workout can improve your back. I've had back problems since I was 15, and I'd be a mess by now if it wasn't for my regular workouts. You will meet people and maybe make new friends too!

Re: Single and childless

Mactective — Thu, 05 Sep 2019 20:26:51 GMT

Have you ever considered being a foster parent for an older child? Many older children (15 and older) can take care of themselves in the physical sense but really need a compassionate, wise, caring soul to connect to. Thinking of how you feel now, can you imagine "aging out" of the foster care system with absolutely no family to call your own? How awful holidays would be. And no one to turn to for anything - even just emotional support.

Not only would you be giving the ultimate gift to another person, think of all you would receive in return. No more holidays alone, someone to care about you when you are ill, and maybe even foster grandchildren at some point.

I know some of the children are very troubled but I know many that are good kids that don't get into trouble and just need someone to care.

Re: Single and childless

Witchy Woman — Thu, 05 Sep 2019 22:00:52 GMT

@texassunflower

I am married and childless, and retired in 2010 after 38 years of Federal service. I adore having time to myself. My husband still works, so I have the day to myself.

Although I also cared for both my parents before they died, I was still working.

What do I do all day? Anything I please This is what I tell people who query me about it.

However, I also sew blankets for Project Linus. Those blankets are distributed to sick babies or children, or those simply in need. There are chapters all over the country.

I also make and donate gift baskets to local animal rescues for their fund raising events.

Those things keep me pretty busy. I really don't need every second of my time occupied, but by the time I do things around the house, I usually have time to devote to my "hobbies."

Where you live there are organizations that need willing hands. You just have to reach out.

Re: Single and childless

queendiva — Thu, 05 Sep 2019 20:42:44 GMT

I am divorced, kids are grown and I do not work. I also tell people that I do what I want, when I want. I am never bored.

I strongly suggest rescuing the dog or cat of your choice. I met some of my very best friends through my dog! We go to the dog park every afternoon at about the same time. We talk about everything. Like Vegas, what is said at the dog park stays at the dog park!

Re: Single and childless

1Snickers — Thu, 05 Sep 2019 21:19:40 GMT

Water aerobics and tai chi are good for a bad back. My YMCA has a few warmer lanes and a hospital uses one for therapy. Even water walking is good. The tai chi is taught there also and it’s slow and shouldn’t hurt your back.

I’ve met many friends in these classes and we do lunch or coffee after.

A pet would be good but if you get a dog and walk it plan on a small one so it doesn’t hurt you.

Enjoy retirement!

Re: Single and childless

AuntG — Thu, 05 Sep 2019 22:54:07 GMT

Is there any chance you back problems can be fixed? I think a whole new world would open up if you were physically able to do more.

Re: Single and childless

crawford5153 — Fri, 06 Sep 2019 00:25:08 GMT

@texassunflower, I am married but have no children but I also get bored. Even when I am at my other home on the lake I still get bored. I think it may be something that comes with age. My Dad was very much the same way. I think when we still have our parents we are active with them and then when they pass it creates a big void that is hard to fill. So I can certainly relate to you.

Re: Single and childless

SeaMaiden — Fri, 06 Sep 2019 00:59:27 GMT

I am married, 40 years, and we are CHILD FREE. I do not like the term Child Less...it sounds so negative....the stigma society still puts on women for choosing not to have children.

Re: Single and childless

ALRATIBA — Fri, 06 Sep 2019 01:09:57 GMT

My husband passed away years ago. No kids. I retired nine years ago. Most of my friends are either single or widows with grown children.

I used to tell people that the only reason I worked was so that I could live indoors and eat regularly. I had/have a lot of outside interests.

Sometimes I wonder how I ever had time to work.

I always have something going on. I'm involved in a women's group through Church (meetings / luncheons), other Church functions, participate in some charity activities, lunch with friends, my genealogical research, my knitting and crochet. I'm an avid reader. I started writing a family history years ago ... still working on it.

Then there are the more mundane activities like doing laundry and other housework. And most important of all .... my daily nap time!

You should get involved in some community or church activities.

Re: Single and childless

alicedee — Fri, 06 Sep 2019 01:24:13 GMT

I am retired and live alone. My children and grands are 3 hours from me. I had back issues also...they actually improved when I wasn’t sitting at a desk all day.

Most days fly by...I’m seldom bored. Volunteer once a week, go to the gym most days, meet a group of friends monthly for dinner, and every few weeks have lunch with my sis or cousin.

Play on the computer, keep in touch via Facebook and email with distant friends, crochet, read, watch tv, listen to music, and am teaching myself to play a ukulele!

Then just regular chores...shopping, gassing up and washing the car, cooking, dishes, laundry, etc. Church either Saturday night or Sunday.

Life is fairly quiet, but good.

Re: Single and childless

Mom2Dogs — Fri, 06 Sep 2019 01:24:47 GMT

@texassunflower

Married, no kids (I do have two step kids), but we are not overly involved with them. Still working, because we can (self employed and healthy) and because we are afraid of retirement.

Friends had retired and moved, friends have kids are very, very involved with them...I understand what you are saying.

Re: Single and childless

RedTop — Fri, 06 Sep 2019 01:41:08 GMT

To add to the previous suggestions: With experience caring for a sick parent, would you consider becoming a sitter for the elderly? Being a shopper and running errands for the elderly? Would you be interested in being a volunteer driver for a veterans facility? Be a sitter after school for any kids in your neighborhood? Volunteer at a hospital or nursing home?

I retired early to care for my husband and mother, and feel like I have a full time job. I absolutely do not want something else to do!

My office friends who retired are busy with grandchildren as well. One friend got involved with groups in her church and does weekly visitations, and also participates in the sewing circle. Another volunteers twice a week in a family business to answer phones and schedule service calls. Another friend works part time answering the phone at a local car dealership. A male friend is retiring in a few months, and his plan is to deliver newspapers.

Best wishes with looking at your many options and figuring out what’s good for you!

Re: Single and childless

blackhole99 — Fri, 06 Sep 2019 01:57:25 GMT

IMO people are as busy as they want to be, now if you are lonely that's a whole different ball game. I think it's very hard to meet new people these days, people young and old barely look up from their smart phones. I really don't think it matters where you live, it's just the way society is today. I retired years ago, my husband is still alive, we have each other. I don't do a whole lot, just what I feel like doing, but I'm always working on myself.

Re: Single and childless

FrostyBabe1 — Fri, 06 Sep 2019 01:58:18 GMT

I'm neither married or a parent - both by choice. I can honestly say that I've not ever been at a loss for something to do since I elected to retire very early in my late 40's. The difference now is that I do what I WANT to do, not what I HAVE to do.

I was responsible for both of my parents at the end of their lives, and while it was very stressful, it was also a great honor and privilege. After all, they took care of me when I was a helpless child. But I also made sure I stayed connected to my network of friends and activities.

Most of my friends are still working, so we make plans when it's convenient for them. When they're at work, I train, run errands, volunteer and any number of other things. It all works out.