topic Re: Question about a Will in Among Friends

Question about a Will

hyacinth003 — Mon, 02 Sep 2019 19:44:15 GMT

Yes, I know to call the attorney tomorrow morning! I had thought this a settled question, because I had been told so, but now I'm not sure.

My brain is bouncing all over the place, so forgive me. My father passed away today, and I don't know what to do with myself. It being a holiday is limiting what I can actually do. He passed away in a hospital, so we have made those arrangements.

My question is (I know we're not lawyers) is about his Will. He has been telling me for 10 years that I was the Executor. I never thought about it until his condition has deteriorated. I have a copy, and I am now confused as to if I am sole Executor or my brother is a Co-Executor, or what. My brother and I won't have any problem, but I just want to do what is correct. Relevant passage:

3.1 Executor, I name as my executor the first of the following who is from time to time willing and able to act:

(a) Hyacinth, my daughter

(b) Hyacinth's brother, my son

It's no wonder you NEED lawyers when what they write isn't clear to an average person.

Hyacinth

Re: Question about a Will

reiki604 — Mon, 02 Sep 2019 19:50:18 GMT

I can't give an answer to your question but I would like to express my deepest sympathies for your loss. Try not to make yourself crazy. You'll get through this.

Re: Question about a Will

Havarti — Mon, 02 Sep 2019 19:53:10 GMT

"A" would be the first sole Executor - that's you alone.

"B" would be if you can not or would not fullfill that role (as in you may have preceeded him in death or become very ill) then he has named "B" as a back-up Executor to fill that role.

Hope that helps. I am sorry for your loss.

Re: Question about a Will

Lilysmom — Mon, 02 Sep 2019 19:59:29 GMT

@hyacinth003 , so sorry for your loss. My condolences to you and your family.

I know you will speak to an attorney but I have to shake my head at people who do this to their children/heirs. Ambiguous at best. I hope you get along with your brother. If you do, I would treat this as a joint effort. If you don’t, I would say get ready for a battle.

Is your brother physically close to your location? I hope so or that will complicate it further.

Good luck. LM

PS, my FIL left a piece of property to two brothers. Why, when they don’t get along, would he do that? They don’t speak to one another but own a property together. This move only made the relationship worse.

Re: Question about a Will

sensibleshoppingsoothes — Mon, 02 Sep 2019 19:58:20 GMT

If you can, take a deep breath and focus on your grief. Try to be with others who are grieving. Share memories and tears and perhaps a bit of laughter.

You'll straighten out the legel parts tomorrow. Just be glad that you and your brother get along well and the details regarding the executorship won't cause any bitterness. In so many families that sort of thing tears families apart. It seems not to be a problem with you and your brother, so that's at least the silver lining to this sad day.

Re: Question about a Will

sensibleshoppingsoothes — Mon, 02 Sep 2019 19:58:57 GMT

oops typo legal

Re: Question about a Will

Scorpio1971 — Mon, 02 Sep 2019 23:47:12 GMT

The first person named in this instance is the executor and must perform execution of the will as per his specifications stated in the will. If it had stated "co-executors", "joint" or similar then both would be executors together. If first person is unable, i.e. serious illness, diminished mental capacity, pre deceased, unwilling to accept responsibility, then the powers go to individual #2.

Very sorry for your loss.

Re: Question about a Will

goldensrbest — Mon, 02 Sep 2019 21:39:43 GMT

I don't know the answer your question,but sorry for your loss, this just happened so you must be feeling a lot of things, wait until tomorrow.

Re: Question about a Will

Bird mama — Mon, 02 Sep 2019 20:14:48 GMT

@hyacinth003 I don't have the answer. I just wanted to express my sympathy.

Re: Question about a Will

AuntG — Mon, 02 Sep 2019 20:17:07 GMT

I'd say it is you alone, with your brother as the substitute if you are unable.

Re: Question about a Will

hckynut — Mon, 02 Sep 2019 20:21:08 GMT

@hyacinth003

My deepest condolences on the death of your father. As for your legal question, I could only speculate. I do however suggest you try to push those things as far back in your mind as able, just taking care of certain arrangements now, is enough for you to handle. Hopefully you can contact your attorney tomorrow.

My thoughts are with you and your family,

hckynut

Re: Question about a Will

Mom2Dogs — Mon, 02 Sep 2019 20:25:35 GMT

@hyacinth003 So sorry for you loss...my mom also died on a holiday....so I understand....the will: to me you are 1st in line and if you cannot do the job, then it goes to your brother.

One day at a time....take care.

Re: Question about a Will

KailaS — Mon, 02 Sep 2019 20:40:19 GMT

I am so sorry about the loss of your father.

Re: Question about a Will

VaBelle35 — Mon, 02 Sep 2019 20:46:49 GMT

I am sorry for your loss.

As stated, you are the executor unless you can't, then (b) becomes executor.

Most lawyers will strongly advise against co-/joint executors.

Will language is definitely interesting, especially in Virginia. They use very funny phrasing and I had to question a few things in mine to make sure they meant what I thought they meant.

Re: Question about a Will

1Snickers — Mon, 02 Sep 2019 21:10:26 GMT

@hyacinth003 I agree with others, that the way it is worded it would be you. But it is strange

wording and I think you should both be named, it’s probably not necessary if you are the only daughter and son.

I’m very sorry for your loss, and wish you strength in the days ahead.

Re: Question about a Will

millieshops — Mon, 02 Sep 2019 21:12:10 GMT

@hyacinth003So sorry for your loss.

As you said, you need to contact the attorney -- you'd have to do that even if the language felt clear to you.

I think it is clear that you are the sole executor. Your dad and his attorney were trying to be sure there was an executor in case you had to decline or wanted to decline for some reason. What I think, however, does not count - I'm not the attorney and I have no dog in the race.

I do hope you and your brother can grieve together and work together on the estate even though only one of you is named. .

Re: Question about a Will

gidgetgh — Mon, 02 Sep 2019 21:26:53 GMT

@hyacinth003 - my sympathies to you on the loss of your dad. I’m so sorry.

Re: Question about a Will

lolakimono — Mon, 02 Sep 2019 21:29:51 GMT

@hyacinth003

I also echo the sympathy messages from others. I lost my dad nine years ago and I think of him every day.

Just one point of legalese, you are the executrix (female) of the will.

Re: Question about a Will

Mindy D — Mon, 02 Sep 2019 21:46:22 GMT

@hyacinth003 wrote:
Yes, I know to call the attorney tomorrow morning! I had thought this a settled question, because I had been told so, but now I'm not sure.

My brain is bouncing all over the place, so forgive me. My father passed away today, and I don't know what to do with myself. It being a holiday is limiting what I can actually do. He passed away in a hospital, so we have made those arrangements.

My question is (I know we're not lawyers) is about his Will. He has been telling me for 10 years that I was the Executor. I never thought about it until his condition has deteriorated. I have a copy, and I am now confused as to if I am sole Executor or my brother is a Co-Executor, or what. My brother and I won't have any problem, but I just want to do what is correct. Relevant passage:

3.1 Executor, I name as my executor the first of the following who is from time to time willing and able to act:

    (a)   Hyacinth, my daughter
    (b) Hyacinth's brother, my son

It's no wonder you NEED lawyers when what they write isn't clear to an average person.

Hyacinth

I’m no lawyer, but this seems to indicator you are coexecutors; both listed together as “first.”

Re: Question about a Will

Mindy D — Mon, 02 Sep 2019 21:46:52 GMT

@hyacinth003 wrote:
Yes, I know to call the attorney tomorrow morning! I had thought this a settled question, because I had been told so, but now I'm not sure.

My brain is bouncing all over the place, so forgive me. My father passed away today, and I don't know what to do with myself. It being a holiday is limiting what I can actually do. He passed away in a hospital, so we have made those arrangements.

My question is (I know we're not lawyers) is about his Will. He has been telling me for 10 years that I was the Executor. I never thought about it until his condition has deteriorated. I have a copy, and I am now confused as to if I am sole Executor or my brother is a Co-Executor, or what. My brother and I won't have any problem, but I just want to do what is correct. Relevant passage:

3.1 Executor, I name as my executor the first of the following who is from time to time willing and able to act:

    (a)   Hyacinth, my daughter
    (b) Hyacinth's brother, my son

It's no wonder you NEED lawyers when what they write isn't clear to an average person.

Hyacinth

@hyacinth003 wrote:
Yes, I know to call the attorney tomorrow morning! I had thought this a settled question, because I had been told so, but now I'm not sure.

My brain is bouncing all over the place, so forgive me. My father passed away today, and I don't know what to do with myself. It being a holiday is limiting what I can actually do. He passed away in a hospital, so we have made those arrangements.

My question is (I know we're not lawyers) is about his Will. He has been telling me for 10 years that I was the Executor. I never thought about it until his condition has deteriorated. I have a copy, and I am now confused as to if I am sole Executor or my brother is a Co-Executor, or what. My brother and I won't have any problem, but I just want to do what is correct. Relevant passage:

3.1 Executor, I name as my executor the first of the following who is from time to time willing and able to act:

    (a)   Hyacinth, my daughter
    (b) Hyacinth's brother, my son

It's no wonder you NEED lawyers when what they write isn't clear to an average person.

Hyacinth

I’m no lawyer, but this seems to indicate you are coexecutors; both listed together as “first.”