topic Re: How would you feel? in Among Friends

How would you feel?

LilacTree — Sat, 31 Aug 2019 21:20:27 GMT

If someone you knew all your life said to you “yes, you were pretty, but you didn’t have a great figure,” she, on the other hand, had a great figure for the times. . . A “marilyn monroe” type of very curvacious figure.

I was very thin and undeveloped (at 14 was very ill and had to spend time in the hospital and lost a year of school).

I was taken aback for a minute, then found myself defending my teenage body!

We are both 81 now. Why did that hit me so hard?

Re: How would you feel?

lovesallanimals — Sat, 31 Aug 2019 21:25:23 GMT

LilacTree: First of all, I would not let it bother me. I have never, ever let anyone's comments matter to me. That was an extremely insensitive comment to make and it is just not worth it to let it get to you. Years ago, someone made a similar comment to a friend of mine and I said "gee, it must be wonderful to be so perfect". She shut her mouth right away realizing how ignorant she sounded.

Re: How would you feel?

Peaches McPhee — Sat, 31 Aug 2019 21:26:54 GMT

How would I feel? I would not care a bit. But, I'm not you.

Perhaps, she hit on an insecurity of yours. Opened a wound, so to speak. Hopefully, it was not on purpose.

Re: How would you feel?

kaydee50 — Sat, 31 Aug 2019 21:29:48 GMT

Don't know why it's upsetting you. You're both 81! Good for you!

I think I would have been flattered that she remembered and thought I was "pretty" when I was younger. Would have ignored the rest.

Re: How would you feel?

Allegheny — Sat, 31 Aug 2019 21:32:39 GMT

No one at any age appreciates a comment that comes off as a put down.

Re: How would you feel?

qualitygal — Sat, 31 Aug 2019 21:37:09 GMT

Well, it's still you she is slamming. However, yes, 81, don't fret it. That is so silly of her to look back and say that. What's that they say, beauty is skin deep, but ugly inside, is just ugly.

Re: How would you feel?

Goldengate8361 — Sat, 31 Aug 2019 21:47:20 GMT

Well, that was just plain rude of her! I would have called her on it _ right then and there.

Re: How would you feel?

Allegheny — Sat, 31 Aug 2019 21:58:16 GMT

Ahhh, but remember the old saying "you can never be too rich or too thin".

At 14 I still felt like a kid and wasn't ready for a figure like Marilyn Monroe, would have rather looked like Twiggy.

Re: How would you feel?

LilacTree — Sat, 31 Aug 2019 22:07:42 GMT

it wasn’t so much what she said. If it had been in a different context, I probably would have laughed it off. But it came out of nowhere and took me by surprise, I guess.

even people you have known all your life can surprise you.

but you are all right. Now that I’ve voiced it, it’s really nothing worth thinking about.

Re: How would you feel?

kitcat51 — Sat, 31 Aug 2019 22:09:01 GMT

I'd laugh & zing her back.

Re: How would you feel?

Zhills — Sat, 31 Aug 2019 22:09:56 GMT

Because...we may be old, but we are still vain!

Don't know why she would say something like that unless she is jealous because you are beautiful! Can't imagine how you must have looked as a younger Lilac. Yeah, she would be jealous! But why the comment? SHE IS VAIN too and she knows you were always prettier than she!

Enjoy her comment and sleep well tonight!

Re: How would you feel?

on the bay — Sat, 31 Aug 2019 22:14:47 GMT

If someone said that to me, I would probably agree with them and just know she knew me, and I would thank her for thinking I was pretty, cause being a teenager, I didn't think so. Probably a flaw of all teenagers no matter how they look!

I know I had a swimmers, gymnastic no waist body -straight up and down, and always wished I could have one like Marilyn Monroe, but we all are our own individual selves. But I also liked myself as a person.I don't think I would be offended.

Even when "toned" arms became fashionable and people wished they had them I still would have rather had a Marilyn Monroe figure.

But you may have been self conscious about it then and it was hurtful to you.

Its not all about how we look.

And some of our identites are always based around how we look.

It doesn't have to be that way. We can appreciate what kind of people we are. That is what is more important.

Re: How would you feel?

LilacTree — Sat, 31 Aug 2019 22:17:45 GMT

@kitcat51 wrote:
I'd laugh & zing her back.

@kitcat51

Next time I will. We laugh a lot at things we did in our youth, I don’t know why it sounded so different this time.

Thanks to everyone!!

Re: How would you feel?

ALRATIBA — Sat, 31 Aug 2019 22:27:30 GMT

I was very thin until I was in my early 30s. I was 5'6" tall and weighed 108 pounds when I got married at age 21. That's really thin.

If it were me ... wouldn't bother me a bit. Someone simply stating the truth? No big deal.

Re: How would you feel?

LilacTree — Sat, 31 Aug 2019 22:36:42 GMT

I have another post that I will post here in this forum, since we are discussing something similar. It’s about an interview I saw last night on CNN, conducted by Anderson Cooper.

Re: How would you feel?

RetRN — Sat, 31 Aug 2019 23:33:16 GMT

I was 5'7" and weighed 107# when I graduated from high school. So what? How does it matter? I really don't understand why she said what she did but it was rude.

Re: How would you feel?

Grits — Sat, 31 Aug 2019 23:37:55 GMT

This commment brought back a memory from 50 years ago that i haven't thought about till now: I had dated a guy about three times when he mentioned going swimming. I was young, weighed about 110 lbs. and five feet two inches tall. I put on my bathing suit and walked down to the edge of the water where he was. He looked me up and down and then told me that I was prettier than his last girlfriend but that she had better legs. I didn't say anything but I was crushed. Basically, the date was over and I never went out with him again although he was dumb enough to ask

Re: How would you feel?

blackhole99 — Sat, 31 Aug 2019 23:54:52 GMT

@LilacTree I think when a friend brings something up about your physical appearance when you were a child, it would knock you back a little. Evidently, she always admired, yet was envious of your beauty and that comment was how she admitted it. I would let it go, it's not like she was mean to you and said that when you were 14, those were the kind of girl friends I had in my youth.

Re: How would you feel?

kelsey17 — Sun, 01 Sep 2019 00:05:07 GMT

When i was in my 20's and dating this guy for a while....he was a shy kinda guy and i know he didn't mean it maliciously but he said something similar to me .....i ignored it at the time because i knew he didn't mean to hurt my feelings...we went out for a while longer then broke up.....

but i was never able to get that comment out of my mind.....things like that can still hurt even if not meant to

Re: How would you feel?

Sooner — Sun, 01 Sep 2019 00:05:54 GMT

Where I am in life, even in my 60's, things like that are so far down on my list of important I don't even have an answer for that.