topic Re: Over Sharing ----Or Not! in Among Friends

Over Sharing ----Or Not!

Annabellethecat66 — Fri, 12 Jul 2019 22:42:50 GMT

You know I've been thinking of this thing called 'over sharing'.

These days I'm convinced a surprising number of people are actually (for want of a better word) STARVING for one on one conversations.

Everywhere I go, I talk to people, all strangers. They might spend 5 or 10 minutes talking to me about a huge variety of things! They tell me some details I'm not sure they'd tell other's.

Just today I went to pay my 1/2 year taxes on my house. I enjoy going to the place because I spend a minute or two talking to the ladies there.

The lady behind the desk was there by herself. No one was in line (today is the last day to pay them). I was very surprised.

I always wait to pay things so the money (it's a lot) can draw interest.

I asked where everyone was and she said they'd all taken leave at the same time. She was pleasant but I could tell she needed to vent a little. She told me about how she'd just been promoted, she was going on vacation and how it's been some time since she's seen some family members and on and on.

I really enjoyed the interaction between the two of us. She said that with the economy so good the place where I lived had hired many more people and we talked about that.

My point? Well, I've always spent time talking with people. I just feel like everyone has a story (that's what I call it....a story).

I don't impose myself on others, but I've found it's very easy to strike up conversations everywhere. I do it at the grocery store....everywhere.

My daughter has been visiting from Denver for a month. She drove here with her dog. She's an adventurer like her Dad. We traveled everywhere when he was alive. My oldest daughter (her sister) is also like that. They've been all over the world with their 4 children.

Anyway, I've come to the point where I do not like the word over-sharing. I see people sitting at a table in a restaurant....they're all on their phones. No one is talking at all...

My question is, why bother meeting with someone if you aren't going to visit with them.

My husband died suddenly in my arms. He'd never been sick and was in incredible shape. He was only 58 years old. The autopsy never found what he died from.

There were no unspoken words when he died. We loved each other (we'd been married since we were almost 19 years old) for 38 years.

You never know when someone is going to die. I don't call it 'pass' I call it die. I know he's in Heaven and that's good enough for me...

Anyway, what are some of your feelings on this? I'm curious. I always say, "I've never met a stranger".

I've met some amazing, kind people. People who've probably gone into a store and never talked to anyone. Most people walk with their heads down, don't make eye-contact.

I do make eye-contact. Maybe that's why we spend a few minutes talking about things. Just recently, I had a conversation with an African American lady. I was standing looking at the nail polish. We started talking. She mentioned she was frustrated about how grey her eyebrows were. I talked to her about what I used (Two-Face brow stuff). Then we talking about the pencils they had there. From there she told me about her family and how they weren't getting along and so on and so on.

I know I'll never see her again. We we talked and when she left we hugged each other good-bye.

I mentioned she was African American because we actually talked about problems with our hair. I've mentioned here before I wea a wig. I told her that. She said her hair is dry and breaks off. She said that's a problem some African American women have. I told her about Wen and how there are ladies on QVC that swear by what it does for their hair. She said she'd look into QVC and Wen.

Just things like that. So, if you want to be my friend, don't talk to me about 'over-sharing'. I don't know what that word means.

My daughter's get a kick out of me. They're used to me talking to people. Just yesterday I was at a restaurant with my youngest (visiting here). We talked to the waitress about how she should visit Denver and on and on. She was delightful. We kept saying, "We'll let you go". She responded, "No! I never take a break". This is my break and I love talking to you guys.

So there you go. You never know some nut like me might come up to you and talk for 2-5 or so minutes and be on my way.

I've walked past people (women) and if they look like they've spent an extra few minutes before they left the house. I'll not stop walking but I'll turn and say, "You look really nice today". And they really did. You can see them straighten up.

Always greet someone with a smile and they'll smile back. It doesn't take much to offer up a smile. It might be the only smile they get that day.

Re: Over Sharing ----Or Not!

NickNack — Sat, 13 Jul 2019 15:42:37 GMT

@Annabellethecat66 I'm sure you're enjoying the visit with your daughter. How are Bill and Katie getting along with her dog? I've forgotten what kind of dog she has if you don't mind telling me.

Re: Over Sharing ----Or Not!

deedledeedeedle — Fri, 12 Jul 2019 22:54:37 GMT

My mom and youngest sister were alot like you. They never met a stranger. My sister used to say that she should have gone into psychiatry because within 10 minutes after first meeting someone she had heard their entire life story. They were the life of any party, very outgoing. I am more reserved. I would rather be like you, @Annabellethecat66, TBH.

dee

Re: Over Sharing ----Or Not!

Terrywu — Fri, 12 Jul 2019 23:09:20 GMT

I so enjoyed your post. It reminded me of myself. I do believe if you smile people do feel you are approachable and stop to say a few words. When my children were young when I stopped and spoke to someone they asked me, “do you know her?” I guess I haven’t changed much because my grandchildren ask me that same question.

Re: Over Sharing ----Or Not!

blackhole99 — Fri, 12 Jul 2019 23:12:55 GMT

I notice that the elderly are the ones who strike up a conversation, not the young people. I'm lucky, my husband is still alive and we do just about everything together and he's a talker.LOL I have elderly men come up to me in Walmart and start a conversation and my husband is standing right next to me. Elderly women will start up a conversation in line at the check out or at the pharmacy. The elderly are lonely.

Re: Over Sharing ----Or Not!

ALRATIBA — Fri, 12 Jul 2019 23:13:47 GMT

I wouldn't call it over-sharing. I enjoy chatting with people.

In supermarkets, sitting in the park, etc. I can't count the number of times I stood in the supermarket aisle talking with someone I never saw before.

I live in NYC in a large residential area of Manhattan. Here everyone talks to each other! Sounds odd for NYC, doesn't it. It's really like a small town around here.

One woman - about 10 years older than me - was leaving Church after Mass and we were both waiting for the light to change to cross the street ... we struck up a conversation (turns out she lives in the building around the corner from me - we walked home together) ... now we know each other's names, backgrounds, etc., etc. Everytime we pass on the street - we stop and chat.

Jury Duty is a prime place for conversation. For a few days we have a "best friend" to share with and then we're dismissed and we've gone our separate ways. I've had really great fellow jurors!

On public transit is another prime opportunity for conversation.

Re: Over Sharing ----Or Not!

Chicagosuburbangirl — Fri, 12 Jul 2019 23:28:48 GMT

@Annabellethecat66 You are kind and an excellent listener.

You draw people to you .

I believe you are a blessing to many.

Re: Over Sharing ----Or Not!

GenXmuse — Fri, 12 Jul 2019 23:29:48 GMT

I’m very circumspect about sharing my life story online or irl. I don’t think people are that interested.

Re: Over Sharing ----Or Not!

QVCkitty1 — Sat, 13 Jul 2019 00:04:45 GMT

@GenXmuse wrote:
I’m very circumspect about sharing my life story online or irl. I don’t think people are that interested.

@GenXmuse , I’m an introvert and I find talking to strangers awkward and painful. My BFF is just the opposite and that is great. We are all different and that is fine.

Re: Over Sharing ----Or Not!

AuntG — Sat, 13 Jul 2019 00:18:53 GMT

@Annabellethecat66 you are a sweetheart. I'm the exact opposite of you. I'm introverted and while I try to be pleasant with cashiers and bag boys, I don't strike up conversations. If I told you how difficult that is for me, you'd probably think utter nonsense, anyone can start a conversation. No so for me.

Re: Over Sharing ----Or Not!

Oznell — Sat, 13 Jul 2019 00:24:28 GMT

Your anecdotes are thought-provoking and uplifting, @Annabellethecat66. Always enjoy hearing from you.

I think that the exchanges that people have in the course of their day, with strangers or not, can be very meaningful. As an introvert myself, I tend not to share much about myself personally with strangers, but often respond and chat "frivolously" with people out and about, esp. those whose manner suggests they are sympatico.

It's really healthy and a key to well-being, to smile, chat, and have pleasant interchange with others! And you never know how it may positively affect someone who needs that human contact and affirmation, at that specific moment in their lives....

Re: Over Sharing ----Or Not!

ECBG — Sat, 13 Jul 2019 00:25:06 GMT

Always smile.....you never, ever, know.........

Re: Over Sharing ----Or Not!

Pook — Sat, 13 Jul 2019 00:36:02 GMT

My mother was like that. No matter where we went she was always talking to someone and when we would ask her who it was she would say I don't know and only had just met her. I am like that also. When there are people all around, I can't stay silent and have to strike up a conversation with at least one person and usually many more chime in. It's way more fun than looking at your phone!! Often people will quit looking at their phones and join in. I like to see a long line in a store turn into a fun bunch. The wait time is not as bothersome when there is conversation.

Re: Over Sharing ----Or Not!

drizzellla — Sat, 13 Jul 2019 00:39:06 GMT

There is a TV station for Saints of the Latter Day. Sunday evenings they would show Disney movies. So I would always check them out. So on occasion I would watch other shows. There was an interesting show. They would randomly pick a city, street and house.

And if the person was interested, they would interview the person. Generally people agreed to be interviewed. Sometimes a person blew them off but not often. And you know each person was so interesting to listen to their lives.

And that was the purpose of the show. That everyone has an interesting story to tell about their life. I guess it grows from the Mormons being into Genealogy. That everyone is important.

Good for you, Annabelle. Enjoy your chatting with people.

Re: Over Sharing ----Or Not!

IMW — Sat, 13 Jul 2019 00:49:04 GMT

I think you’re 👍🏿——there would be less strife on this

earth if there were more people who were like you, friendly with an open heart.

More power to you, and enjoy yourself!!

Re: Over Sharing ----Or Not!

mintedrose — Sat, 13 Jul 2019 03:58:25 GMT

@Annabellethecat66 You sound like an absolute sweet heart. I would love to invite you over if i knew you. I tend to be very talkative and i love connecting with people.

You are so right about smiling and complementing others even if we dont know them. Everyone is going through something and a kind genuine smile does lift up spirits.

Re: Over Sharing ----Or Not!

froggy — Sat, 13 Jul 2019 05:12:43 GMT

@Annabellethecat66 I would not call what you do oversharing. To me it means telling strangers and even friends inappropriate things about your private life. My best friend and I sometimes talk about our sx lives with our husbands but never in intimate blow by blow detail. Some things are just not for sharing.

I am not a particularly social person but I will chat with store clerks, people waiting in line etc. I think you probably are just a very easy person to chat with.

Re: Over Sharing ----Or Not!

CountryCook — Sat, 13 Jul 2019 05:17:15 GMT

I am like you Annabellethecat. I think a lot of people need a friendly person or someone to talk to at that moment. I think it is part of the smile and they need someone to be there at that moment. Now that I am a widow I like to spend extra time grocercy shopping just to hear a human voice. My husband always told me that I knew every person that ever met lifes history. They need to someone to talk to and I listen and ask a few questions. I find other person interesting.

Re: Over Sharing ----Or Not!

AngelPuppy1 — Sat, 13 Jul 2019 10:15:04 GMT

@Annabellethecat66 wrote:
You know I've been thinking of this thing called 'over sharing'.

These days I'm convinced a surprising number of people are actually (for want of a better word) STARVING for one on one conversations.

Everywhere I go, I talk to people, all strangers. They might spend 5 or 10 minutes talking to me about a huge variety of things! They tell me some details I'm not sure they'd tell other's.

Just today I went to pay my 1/2 year taxes on my house. I enjoy going to the place because I spend a minute or two talking to the ladies there.

The lady behind the desk was there by herself. No one was in line (today is the last day to pay them). I was very surprised.

I always wait to pay things so the money (it's a lot) can draw interest.

I asked where everyone was and she said they'd all taken leave at the same time. She was pleasant but I could tell she needed to vent a little. She told me about how she'd just been promoted, she was going on vacation and how it's been some time since she's seen some family members and on and on.

I really enjoyed the interaction between the two of us. She said that with the economy so good the place where I lived had hired many more people and we talked about that.

My point? Well, I've always spent time talking with people. I just feel like everyone has a story (that's what I call it....a story).

I don't impose myself on others, but I've found it's very easy to strike up conversations everywhere. I do it at the grocery store....everywhere.

My daughter has been visiting from Denver for a month. She drove here with her dog. She's an adventurer like her Dad. We traveled everywhere when he was alive. My oldest daughter (her sister) is also like that. They've been all over the world with their 4 children.

Anyway, I've come to the point where I do not like the word over-sharing. I see people sitting at a table in a restaurant....they're all on their phones. No one is talking at all...

My question is, why bother meeting with someone if you aren't going to visit with them.

My husband died suddenly in my arms. He'd never been sick and was in incredible shape. He was only 58 years old. The autopsy never found what he died from.

There were no unspoken words when he died. We loved each other (we'd been married since we were almost 19 years old) for 38 years.

You never know when someone is going to die. I don't call it 'pass' I call it die. I know he's in Heaven and that's good enough for me...

Anyway, what are some of your feelings on this? I'm curious. I always say, "I've never met a stranger".

I've met some amazing, kind people. People who've probably gone into a store and never talked to anyone. Most people walk with their heads down, don't make eye-contact.

I do make eye-contact. Maybe that's why we spend a few minutes talking about things. Just recently, I had a conversation with an African American lady. I was standing looking at the nail polish. We started talking. She mentioned she was frustrated about how grey her eyebrows were. I talked to her about what I used (Two-Face brow stuff). Then we talking about the pencils they had there. From there she told me about her family and how they weren't getting along and so on and so on.

I know I'll never see her again. We we talked and when she left we hugged each other good-bye.

I mentioned she was African American because we actually talked about problems with our hair. I've mentioned here before I wea a wig. I told her that. She said her hair is dry and breaks off. She said that's a problem some African American women have. I told her about Wen and how there are ladies on QVC that swear by what it does for their hair. She said she'd look into QVC and Wen.

Just things like that. So, if you want to be my friend, don't talk to me about 'over-sharing'. I don't know what that word means.

My daughter's get a kick out of me. They're used to me talking to people. Just yesterday I was at a restaurant with my youngest (visiting here). We talked to the waitress about how she should visit Denver and on and on. She was delightful. We kept saying, "We'll let you go". She responded, "No! I never take a break". This is my break and I love talking to you guys.

So there you go. You never know some nut like me might come up to you and talk for 2-5 or so minutes and be on my way.

I've walked past people (women) and if they look like they've spent an extra few minutes before they left the house. I'll not stop walking but I'll turn and say, "You look really nice today". And they really did. You can see them straighten up.

Always greet someone with a smile and they'll smile back. It doesn't take much to offer up a smile. It might be the only smile they get that day.

@Annabellethecat66

What a special post! And what a special lady you are! Your post really lit up my day and made me smile!!! Thank you so much.

My mother sounded very much like you. She was so kind and not intrusive at all. But she truly loved people and they loved her. She was so honest and open and what you saw, was what you got. If I would take her places --- doctor appointments or wherever, people would just naturally open up to her. She enjoyed sharing little tidbits about every day things with people.

I agree - I think due to a lot of reasons, cell phones might be one of them, that many people are starved for interaction with others. And as you stated, maybe the few words exchanged with a stranger or a smile, might be all the human connection that a person gets for the whole day.

I think if more people shared your philosophy the world would be a much nicer place!

Re: Over Sharing ----Or Not!

chrystaltree — Sat, 13 Jul 2019 14:07:28 GMT

Some people are "talkers", some people are social creatures and they can walk into a room and strike up a conversation with anyone. They are completely comfortable in social situations. My husband is like that. We've been married for 30something years and I still marvel at that. He can talk to anyone about anything, anywhere. He like it. Others, like myself, are just more circumspect. When I was young, I was shy and I out grew that but I'm not the type of person who walks up to stranger and starts talking. I also am not interested in conversing with people in non-social situations who over share, as you call it. I feel like it's imposing on me. I'm ok with social niceties like smiling and saying "good morning" and being polite but I don't want to be drawn into long conversation with total strangers. I especially don't want to hear all the minutae of their lives. I think a lot of people today don't pick up on social ques. They are self absorbed so if they want to talk, it never occurs to them that woman who smiled or said "good morning" doesn't want to have a conversation. It doesn't occur to them that the one word responses are the "please leave me alone" social ques.