topic Re: Men Begging For Money at Highway Off Ramps in Among Friends

Men Begging For Money at Highway Off Ramps

staciesmom — Sat, 20 Apr 2019 20:02:39 GMT

I live in a rather small town and drive by 2 off ramps daily going to and coming from work - there are almost always men begging for money there. (usually the same 2 men for years) Today I was with a friend who told me that she usually either gives them money or offers food and has even bought food and eaten with one because he didn't want "to eat alone"!!!! I became alarmed and she had all these excuses for him: he was from out of town, didn't know where Salvation Army was on and on and on. I told her i am horrified. Do any of you donate or get involved with people who beg on the highway? I fear for her safety if she did this.

Re: Men Begging For Money at Highway Off Ramps

Kachina624 — Sat, 20 Apr 2019 20:11:21 GMT

Seems like cars stopping at an off-ramp to give donations would create a hazardous safety situation. Here they do it when cars are stopped for lights at major intersections. They've passed ordinances forbidding this practice but the ACLU always files a lawsuit claiming its unconstitutional. I never give money to beggars, including those online.

Re: Men Begging For Money at Highway Off Ramps

happycat — Sat, 20 Apr 2019 20:13:15 GMT

I have before, but I don't anymore. We have a charity in this area that truly does help the homeless and down and out. I give to them.

For one thing, where they stand here, is on the interstate off ramp and honestly there is usually a lot of traffic at this certain one. Which I'm sure is why they stand there. I think they are a distraction and make an that can be treacherous at times even worse.

Re: Men Begging For Money at Highway Off Ramps

CAcableGirl2 — Sat, 20 Apr 2019 20:15:08 GMT

@staciesmom I've given small amounts of cash (usually a couple of dollars) to some, but it's not the ones that stand in the same spot day over day with a sign.

The last one was a woman who obviously was in bad shape and living on the streets. I've dropped off an "in-and-out" burger lunch for another, I told a teenager to meet me at the pizza restaurant and I bought him lunch, as well as telling a guy pushing a shopping cart in the rain to meet me at the gas station up the street and I would buy him breakfast and a coffee.

My mom once offered to buy one person a sandwich and he told her he was "over" sandwiches and if she had cash.

There was a man in town a few years back who stood by a busy intersection asking for money and then when he felt he had enough he walked back to his two story house around the corner.

Once, when it was really hot outside (around 110 degrees), while I was going to UPS to pick up a package, I picked it up, and then dropped of several cold bottles of gatorade and water for him. You could tell by how dirty he was and the ripped jeans barely hanging on that he was living on the streets. I had one of my employees with me just in case.

I did learn my lesson once, as I was driving by the local mall, there was another homeless man who had worn out shoes (holes on top and just threads for shoes) I stopped and got out of my car with intent to ask him his size and go to the mall and get him a new pair of shoes, but he appeared scared of me and wouldn't stop, so he probably had mental issues or was on drugs and I could have been in a bad situation if I hadn't left.

It's really a case-by-case for me but you always have to remember to error on the side of safety.

Re: Men Begging For Money at Highway Off Ramps

NicksmomESQ — Sat, 20 Apr 2019 20:17:22 GMT

DH & I nearly always roll down the car window & hand the person,man or woman, a few bucks.We don’t know their stories or their backgrounds.But if they’re in a position where they need to hang out on the side of the road & ask for money we feel that’s the least we can do.

They have always appeared grateful thanking us for the help.”There but for the grace of god go I”.

Re: Men Begging For Money at Highway Off Ramps

GCR18 — Sat, 20 Apr 2019 20:20:18 GMT

I haven't given to those collecting at the exits. The local paper ran a series of articles basically saying they were frauds. After the articles came out, the people at the highway ramps disappeared. I don't believe they are all frauds, but I would still not give money.

Re: Men Begging For Money at Highway Off Ramps

1000Glosses — Sat, 20 Apr 2019 20:27:14 GMT

Homelessness can happen to anyone. Job loss, serious illness, and natural disasters can happen to anyone at anytime. Your friend knows this and empathize with these two men. For all anyone knows, they had homes and nice cars--and then something happened.

It's easier to judge other people than to acknowledge the fear that it can happen to us.

You're criticizing a friend that bought food for hungry people and had dinner with them to show some compassion and make them feel included again. What do you think is going to happen to her? The crime is that we allow homelessness and hunger in our supposedly richest country on earth. It just shows the poor have no one to lobby congress for them and that's just disgusting. People and businesses with money get more money; those without continue to go without because we'd rather turn our heads than acknowledge the problem.

I think your friend is a kind person. Follow her example and help someone. It starts with one person then more and more help, and, together, maybe we can solve this problem that is a result of the rampant greed gripping our nation.

Re: Men Begging For Money at Highway Off Ramps

VenturaHighway — Sat, 20 Apr 2019 20:27:46 GMT

In Springfield, Missouri they found out that most of these people were not homeless or in need of money. There was one area when you first came into Springfield where many people would stand and beg for money.

Come to find out, that they were driving very nice cars parked in the Walmart parking lot.

I would never roll down my window and give money. But I have offered to buy some food for a man on the sideawalk. He said no, he wanted money.

When you give with your heart, that is what matters. But I wouldn't take the chance of giving money from my car. If it was a scam, the person could pull a gun or knife. Just isn't safe.

Re: Men Begging For Money at Highway Off Ramps

Reilley — Sat, 20 Apr 2019 20:31:47 GMT

@NicksmomESQ

I'm know you mean well, but, there's other ways to give to these unfortunate souls.

Years ago an aasociate I worked with, stopped in a left hand lane (red light) and there was one man (so she thought) who had a sign up asking for money. She rolled down her window and started to get her wallet out and immediately three men came at her, they pulled her out of the car and beat her sensless, they stole her valuables, and took off on foot. She was in the hospital for three days.

By the way, this light was the entrance to our work place parking lot, in the Bay Area (San Jose, CA).

Thankfully most homeless people aren't like this.

Once her window was down and they had her by surprise, it was easy to unlock the door.

One of our co workers found her in the intersection.

One has to be very careful, be generous but, in a safe place with others around you.

Better yet, give to your local charity, or go into a store and buy a meal and give to them.

Re: Men Begging For Money at Highway Off Ramps

Kachina624 — Sat, 20 Apr 2019 20:32:29 GMT

@NicksmomESQ wrote:
DH & I nearly always roll down the car window & hand the person,man or woman, a few bucks.We don’t know their stories or their backgrounds.But if they’re in a position where they need to hang out on the side of the road & ask for money we feel that’s the least we can do.
They have always appeared grateful thanking us for the help.”There but for the grace of god go I”.

@NicksmomESQ You realize, I hope, that although you consider your action a kindness, you are probably subsidizing a drug habit?

Re: Men Begging For Money at Highway Off Ramps

alarmclock — Sat, 20 Apr 2019 20:32:47 GMT

@staciesmom wrote:
I live in a rather small town and drive by 2 off ramps daily going to and coming from work - there are almost always men begging for money there. (usually the same 2 men for years) Today I was with a friend who told me that she usually either gives them money or offers food and has even bought food and eaten with one because he didn't want "to eat alone"!!!! I became alarmed and she had all these excuses for him: he was from out of town, didn't know where Salvation Army was on and on and on. I told her i am horrified. Do any of you donate or get involved with people who beg on the highway? I fear for her safety if she did this.

You have to make sure they are really homeless. We have a local that drives his Lexus to his intersections. He parks it away from his spot but many have seen him walking to and from the vehicle.

Re: Men Begging For Money at Highway Off Ramps

VenturaHighway — Sat, 20 Apr 2019 20:35:04 GMT

@1000Glosses There are more than enough wonderful places that homeless can get help. But the problem is that some of these people have mental problems and don't want the help. Or drug problems. A sad situation.

In Springfield this winter, people went to homeless camps to take people to shelters. Some went with them but others wouldn't go. The weather was terrible and temps at zero.

Re: Men Begging For Money at Highway Off Ramps

jeanlake — Sat, 20 Apr 2019 20:36:24 GMT

I no longer stop to give $$. Too dangerous with other cars on ramps and prolonging stops in intersections. During a holiday season when kids were young, I was leaving the busy 'mall' and stopped at intersection for traffic light. While focused on person holding sign on driver's side of intersection -- someone grabbed my passenger side door and tried to open. He couldn't have been over 15 years old. DOOR LOCKED -- THANK GOODNESS. Kid was looking down at my handbag on passenger seat while I was stuck in traffic looking at his face. He glanced at me - I gave the horn a long honk - then he ran down the hill to a parked car. Called police when I got home (no cell phone back then) and they said that particular scam had been going on all day -- they were sending a police car to look for station wagon I described and to chat with guy holding sign. Long story to say -- keep moving.

Neice is an emergency room nurse. She convinced me not to give $$. In winter months, hospitals have many alcohol and drug related deaths due to passing out and freezing outdoors.

This is where whispering a prayer or exending positive vibes is the best choice.

Re: Men Begging For Money at Highway Off Ramps

catwhisperer — Sat, 20 Apr 2019 20:37:17 GMT

We have a major homeless problem in my area, along with a major drug and crime problem. Community leaders and law enforcement are working hard to try and get a handle on all issues, but it seems to be a never ending battle.

I do not hand out money to people on the street corners, but somebody is, because the same homeless people are standing on the same corners day after day, month after month.

Re: Men Begging For Money at Highway Off Ramps

NicksmomESQ — Sat, 20 Apr 2019 20:44:59 GMT

@Reilley That’s a terrible incident & I understand your concern. We only roll down the window a crack & only do it in daylight.The doors are always locked.

@Kachina624 I volunteer & contribute to a local food bank. I speak to the people who come in all the time. Some of them are homeless.Some of them beg for money at intersections. Their stories are heartbreaking. I understand your point but they are not all addicts.

Re: Men Begging For Money at Highway Off Ramps

GenXmuse — Sat, 20 Apr 2019 20:48:01 GMT

I guess if it makes you feel better to believe they’re all drug addicts, that’s your perogative.

Re: Men Begging For Money at Highway Off Ramps

patbz — Sat, 20 Apr 2019 20:53:37 GMT

I never give under these circumstances, although occasionally, I have directed beggars to local organizations that can help. One particular instance stands out: on State Street in Santa Barbara there are many beggars, on that day there was a young adult with his dog. His sign said "My dog needs food---Steak!"

Re: Men Begging For Money at Highway Off Ramps

catwhisperer — Sat, 20 Apr 2019 20:58:47 GMT

I'll never forget, one day a couple years ago, a guy was begging for money in my neighborhood. I had gone to my local CVS for something. He was standing in line ahead of me waiting to pay for a bottle of vodka.

Re: Men Begging For Money at Highway Off Ramps

JasoninBoston — Sat, 20 Apr 2019 21:14:42 GMT

Living and working in downtown Boston there are homeless people that ask me for money daily. Long ago I decided that if someone asks, I will give something but there are a few exceptions made recently. There is one person would would always scream at me asking for more and more..... I have stopped giving to him.

My feeling is, I have more than enough for myself and my family and I do also give to various non profits, but it doesn't take much for me to give a few dollars here and there and perhaps the people may not use it for the best things (like drugs or alcohol but how do I really know). I have purchased food or coffee for these individuals as well.

I know everyone usually has strong feelings about this subject, but I always think, if I were ever in a situation where I really needed food or money and had to ask people on the street---I would really hope that someone would help me!!! Thankfully I am not in that situation and so I do try to give a few dollars to anyone that asks!

Re: Men Begging For Money at Highway Off Ramps

catwhisperer — Sat, 20 Apr 2019 21:13:15 GMT

@JasoninBoston ....I just want to say, that no matter what my opinions are or how anyone else feels about the subject, I think you are a kind, giving person and have a big heart.