topic Re: MY MOM...AN UPDATE in Among Friends

MY MOM...AN UPDATE

Shanus — Wed, 23 Jan 2019 14:58:14 GMT

No need for replies. Your love and support has been shown in previous posts. Just thought some may be wondering what’s happening with her journey. Hospice nurse explained that without much kidney function, other organs can take over the job of filtering toxins from the body...way too medical when she explained it, but that’s how much I understood.

Mom’s at skilled nursing, bedridden, barely eating or drinking....just a few spoons of soup and sleeps most of the time. She’s lost 40 lbs. from her small frame since Thanksgiving and looks frail and slight. Her memory is in and out...so far remembering family members who visit. I sit on her bed, brush her hair, cut and file her nails, just talk about anything and everything for the few moments she’s awake and can pay attention. I feel she and others in her condition are sorely missing the human touch...not just a nurse checking blood pressure. I remembered this with my Dad and how calm he looked when I put my hand on the side of his face or kissed his cheek. Mom seems to like holding my hands...still quite a grip...often falling asleep that way and I have to pry myself loose.

I bring her photos of the Girls (her only great grandchildren) and she smiles while kissing their pictures. I’ve also brought pictures of Dad and my younger brother who passed away. Some may feel she’d be sad, but I thought it’d bring her comfort knowing she would be with them again soon.

We’re spending every weekend packing up her apartment...only 30 days to clear it out. She had enormous amounts of shoes/clothing....her walk in closet and took Dad’s closet over in second bedroom as soon as she felt comfortable giving his clothing away. Everyone else dressed in jogging suits and maybe a dressier top for Sat. night dinner, but Mom continued to wear her CHICO jackets/pants day and evening...the brighter and more sparkly the better. That was her style. Lots of flash and liked to make an entrance even at breakfast. Sadly, for that reason, there was little clothing I could take for myself.

I did load my car with a beautiful iron scrolled bottom sofa table with glass top...always loved it. Helped her choose it maybe 25 yrs. ago. I also have some simple crystal pieces from the china cabinet, and of course all the jewelry for remembrance.

So, we wait. Every time the phone rings and I see her area code, my heart sinks. The inevitable is near, but I’m still not prepared to accept it. How lonely it will be without parents or siblings. There’ll be no one who knew my childood...the little Shanus.

Thank you again for those who expressed their concern for how I was doing. As the weeks went by, I needed to re-enter my life, the gym, friends...especially my friends here. I’m so grateful for all of you.

Re: MY MOM...AN UPDATE

NicksmomESQ — Wed, 23 Jan 2019 15:07:20 GMT

You’re not only a good daughter but a very strong woman.I feel your pain.I went through it with both my parents.Life unfortunately happens & we have no control over how it happens.But we do control how we respond. Stay loving & strong.💐

I will continue to pray for both you & your mother.

Re: MY MOM...AN UPDATE

LTT1 — Wed, 23 Jan 2019 15:21:43 GMT

@Shanus

Thank you for the update....

Re: MY MOM...AN UPDATE

2blonde — Wed, 23 Jan 2019 15:27:43 GMT

@Shanus I know you didn't ask for replles, but how can I not reply to your post? Your dear mother couldn't have asked for a more devoted and loving daughter.

I think I understand a little about how you feel about being left with no living relatives. I'm the middle of 3 girls. My parents are both long gone (mom died when I was only 20), and my older sister passed many years ago too. All that's left is my 10 years younger sister and me. Thankfully, we love each other and are close, but I know that for whichever of us leaves first, the other will feel a lot like you do. Bless you my dear lady, and remember you will still have your friends here.

Re: MY MOM...AN UPDATE

aroc3435 — Wed, 23 Jan 2019 15:30:52 GMT

@Shanus So good of you to give us the update. We are still all here for you and thinking of you. I am continuing to keep you, your family and dear Mother in my heart and prayers.

Re: MY MOM...AN UPDATE

lavenderfields — Wed, 23 Jan 2019 15:33:16 GMT

Shanus, your posts about your situation with your mother are so touching. I was so close to my own Mother and Grandmother, who are gone now, and I miss them every day.

How blessed your mother is to have you as her daughter. Your parents sound like wonderful, loving people who raised a very special woman. You have quite a gift for writing and have reminded me how precious life is and that we should never take anything or anyone for granted. Thank you for reminding me to love extravagantly.

May The Lord bless and keep you and make His face to shine upon you.

Re: MY MOM...AN UPDATE

bootsanne — Wed, 23 Jan 2019 15:34:00 GMT

@Shanus You seem to be a very loving, thoughtful daughter. It would be difficult to see a beloved Mother to go through her end of life. My mother died suddenly when I was 26 and it still saddens me to this day. My last surviving sister was put into hospice Sunday. She has a very aggressive Alzheimers and her daughter has been dealing with it by herself for 3 years now. We're 1700 miles apart. Hospice is wonderful with the kindest, most caring nurses. I'm hoping my sister goes quickly because her body is breaking down rapidly. If it's any comfort, at least we know our loved ones are in hospice care.

Re: MY MOM...AN UPDATE

Bird mama — Wed, 23 Jan 2019 15:35:01 GMT

Re: MY MOM...AN UPDATE

chiclets — Wed, 23 Jan 2019 15:35:34 GMT

My heart weeps for your struggles but smiles for your spirit and love. May the angels watch over all of you.

Re: MY MOM...AN UPDATE

dex — Wed, 23 Jan 2019 15:55:09 GMT

@Shanus@Thank you for thinking of us during this tough time in your life.I hope that your mom will pass quickly without pain.I know that sounds wrong but I am going through some things with my mom too and the stress of it all is hard.I too fear that phone call and find myself startled by the ring.I can no longer happily answer calls from her number but with a heavy heart.

Re: MY MOM...AN UPDATE

SXMGirl — Wed, 23 Jan 2019 16:04:36 GMT

@Shanus, thank you for the update. My thoughts are with you and your mom.

Re: MY MOM...AN UPDATE

dulwich — Wed, 23 Jan 2019 16:23:41 GMT

@Shanus You are so strong and caring to your mother truly wonderful. My prayers and thoughts with your mother, you and your family at this time.

Re: MY MOM...AN UPDATE

Puppy Lips — Wed, 23 Jan 2019 16:24:54 GMT

Our family just went through this. We got back home from the out of state funeral just last night. My husband was with his Mom for a full week, holding her hand in the hospital and then in hospice until she passed. She was 94 years old. It was rough on the 4 siblings, who all flew in from out of state to be with her for a full week, watching her slowly slip away. Very sad indeed.

But she lived a good long life and is now with her dear husband. When my father in law died, I was a wreck. With my mother in law, somehow I am more at peace with it because she was ready to go, and is now reunited with her husband.

So blessings to you Shanus. You are doing all the right things and will have no regrets.

Re: MY MOM...AN UPDATE

meallen616 — Wed, 23 Jan 2019 17:07:56 GMT

@Shanus,

Thank you for the update. We are here for you,

Re: MY MOM...AN UPDATE

Kachina624 — Wed, 23 Jan 2019 17:26:14 GMT

@Shanus. Your mom is very fortunate to have such an attentive daughter, and you are lucky to have a great mom. I so wish I could spend a little time with mine again.

Re: MY MOM...AN UPDATE

Shanus — Wed, 23 Jan 2019 18:13:06 GMT

@Kachina624. I know my threads about Mom are bittersweet...brings good memories for some, sadness for others.

Re: MY MOM...AN UPDATE

AuntG — Wed, 23 Jan 2019 18:18:45 GMT

Sounds like she had a great sense of who she was and no one was going to stop her. Fun memories to tide you over during these final days.

Re: MY MOM...AN UPDATE

OKPrincess — Wed, 23 Jan 2019 18:32:55 GMT

@Shanus These final days you spend with your mom are priceless, most precious, personal, and as another poster pointed out on another thread — a privilege to be with your mom.

I was where you are now 10 years ago this April so I know where I speak.

Combing her hair and fixing her fingernails brought back tearful reminders for me.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your precious times with your mom with all of us.

Re: MY MOM...AN UPDATE

SelahG — Wed, 23 Jan 2019 18:38:10 GMT

Thank you for the touching, beautiful update, @Shanus ... as sad as this time is for you. It does bring back memories from my childhood when I lost my own dear mother, but crying is cleansing and I can relate to much of what you share. You are blessed with many more memories than I am, and maybe — hopefully — sharing your thoughts and feelings here with us, is therapeutic for you, too. I loved reading how your mother kisses her great grandchildren’s photos. So sweet! ❤️

🙏🏼 Lifting her and you up daily. 🙏🏼

Re: MY MOM...AN UPDATE

Shanus — Wed, 23 Jan 2019 18:42:30 GMT

@OKPrincess. @SelahG We’re barely 20 yrs. apart in age. She turned 20 only 4 days before I was born. She said I was her special gift. Through the years, we shared milestone celebrations together: 20 & 40, 50 & 70, etc. Although we’re quite different in style, interests and personalities, the closeness was always there. Seeing such a strong willed, take charge woman at the mercy of others is difficult for me. Thanks for your prayers.