topic Re: Emergency Binder - does this sound macabre? in Among Friends

Emergency Binder - does this sound macabre?

house_cat — Sat, 29 Dec 2018 01:45:47 GMT

I'm putting together what I'm calling THE BIG RED EMERGENCY BINDER, to keep in my safe. I've long had the fear that something would happen to me, or my husband and me at the same time, and my sons would not know where to start looking for important information.

I'm including the usual things like birth certificates, SS cards, marriage certificate, house deed, life insurance policies. What other things should my binder include?

BTW, my husband never understands my need to be prepared for things ahead of time. He said "this whole binder business is creepy". Do you agree?

Re: Emergency Binder - does this sound macabre?

AussieLuvr — Sat, 29 Dec 2018 01:49:56 GMT

I did a spreadsheet about seven years ago that has every single piece of info needed to settle our estate. My nephews and stepkids thought it was a little weird, but as I told them - you will not need to look for or wonder about the location of one single piece of info, paper, or contact. We have given them flash drives with the spreadsheet and scanned important documents.

I don't think its creepy at all! I've been witness to people having NO IDEA where to begin.

Re: Emergency Binder - does this sound macabre?

Allegheny — Sat, 29 Dec 2018 01:51:53 GMT

That is a great idea. Everyone should have one.

Re: Emergency Binder - does this sound macabre?

Big Joanie — Sat, 29 Dec 2018 01:53:33 GMT

Not macabre .. realistic .....

Re: Emergency Binder - does this sound macabre?

Bird mama — Sat, 29 Dec 2018 01:56:01 GMT

@house_cat it's not macabre, it's called love and consideration for your family. Do you have a financial or medical power of attorney? If those, include those.

Re: Emergency Binder - does this sound macabre?

SXMGirl — Sat, 29 Dec 2018 01:57:04 GMT

@house_cat, thanks for posting this. I think will be my resolution for the new year.

Re: Emergency Binder - does this sound macabre?

lovethgedress — Sat, 29 Dec 2018 01:58:02 GMT

Bank accounts, financial account information, pension info,will/trust, legal contacts if there are any.

My dad kept a handwritten spreadsheet of every account with updated totals, phone numbers and account numbers that saved us a ton of time when he passed away. My brother and I went down the list and notified everyone. It's difficult enough to cope with the unexpected loss of a loved one without having to stress over going through all their important papers. I was thankful he was so organized.

Re: Emergency Binder - does this sound macabre?

house_cat — Sat, 29 Dec 2018 01:59:40 GMT

@Bird mama wrote:
@house_cat it's not macabre, it's called love and consideration for your family. Do you have a financial or medical power of attorney? If those, include those.

Yes. I forgot to mention the big one - we have a will and trust and it includes a living will.

Re: Emergency Binder - does this sound macabre?

IamMrsG — Sat, 29 Dec 2018 02:00:08 GMT

@house_cat I think this is a thoughtful gift. Someday, someone will be grateful for the "macabre" work you are doing now. I pray that day is way off into the future, though.

Re: Emergency Binder - does this sound macabre?

luvmybeetle — Sat, 29 Dec 2018 02:00:43 GMT

@house_cat

I don't think it's creepy at all. I have a Suzi Orman box in my home and have told my children to get when I'm gone. It's stuffed to the gills. I think you're smart.

Re: Emergency Binder - does this sound macabre?

Mary Bailey — Sat, 29 Dec 2018 02:05:11 GMT

NOT Weird! @house_cat

I just told DH tonight (again) that I need to set up my life insurance to pay my pre-paid final cremation arrangements (I'm going to plan so no one else needs to do it) & that all the online passwords are in "this book" (told him for years).

Re: Emergency Binder - does this sound macabre?

OKPrincess — Sat, 29 Dec 2018 02:08:45 GMT

If it wasn’t mentioned, include PINs.

Re: Emergency Binder - does this sound macabre?

docsgirl — Sat, 29 Dec 2018 02:11:53 GMT

I have have something very similar. I am a widow with one son and I don't want him to have to run around looking for important documents I have a file folder containing Powers of Attorney, investment information with the name and phone number of my financial advisor, Social Security card, pension plan, names and phone numbers of people to notify, life insurance policy, condo deed, and other vital documents. I have a Long Term Care policy so in case something should happen and I cannot make arrangements for me, he knows how to activate the policy and do what needs to be done for me. My funeral is paid in full so those documents are in the folder and he knows exactly where it is located. I don't find this macabre. I feel it is a gift to my son, knowing that he will not have to make any decisions as they are all made and ready to go. I hope he won't have to use it for a very long time but it's ready whenever he needs it. docsgirl

Re: Emergency Binder - does this sound macabre?

Daysdee — Sat, 29 Dec 2018 02:27:41 GMT

I think it is a good idea. Several months ago I ordered a book from Amazon where you can list information you would need your children to know--funeral wishes, where certain papers are, etc. I haven't worked on it yet, but will do it soon.

Re: Emergency Binder - does this sound macabre?

Sooner — Sat, 29 Dec 2018 02:32:31 GMT

Some hair clips for dna samples. Could be valuable to you kids on down the road.

Re: Emergency Binder - does this sound macabre?

roeroe1005 — Mon, 31 Dec 2018 03:37:21 GMT

At least you have a sensible title for your binder. Mine is a green folder labeled "If the plane should crash". I created it for my sister when I went to Europe a few years ago.

I'm never married so I needed to put something together anyway. My sister already has my POA & health care proxy.

The folder has my life insurance information (enough $$$ to throw a nice party), NYS pension information, computer log on, bank information, etc. Sister & nephews know I want to be cremated and ashes spread in Cape May. I told my nephews many times that I want a bench in front of my favorite store with a plaque stating how I used to drag them in there with me.

Re: Emergency Binder - does this sound macabre?

stevieb — Sat, 29 Dec 2018 02:41:19 GMT

It is creepy but it's still a good idea.

Re: Emergency Binder - does this sound macabre?

devababy — Sat, 29 Dec 2018 03:01:08 GMT

Excellent idea. I have al information with detailed instructions for my daughters. In my packet is: will, burial plans, financial accounts, pension accounts, bank accounts, list of creditors, including account numbers and address, how to contact SS and investment accounts held. In your will be sure to include specific wishes on who gets what, and or to give to needy homes, how to care for pets. Be sure to have information on car titles, homeowners insurance information, car insurance information, medical information, list of primary care doctors and include phone numbers and address. I have both my daughters as signers on my bank accounts, on my investment accounts in case they need immediate cash. Location of where your keys are located. I also wrote my obit, I also wrote a sample letter to creditors notifying of death and be sure to include a copy of death certificate to pay off account and to close account. I also have named my daughters and have given them power of attorney for financial accounts, for specific medical power of attorney, and general power of attorney. Also include other important papers, SS card. Medicaid Medicare card. Voter registration card, (be sure to notify the county to remove names from voter files thus protecting against voter fraud. If you have a safety deposit box, be sure that info and keys are spelled out and how to locate. Make a list of all your computer, cell phone passwords, etc. Notify 3 creditor score entities of death. Remember they need enough death certificates because a true copy of certificate must be included in all correspondence when notifying of death, etc. I put all this information in a Rubbermaid bin, that is ready to go in case one has to evacuate for whatever reasons. I have discussed this in detail with my children, it’s not easy, but it is necessary. Hope this helps.

Re: Emergency Binder - does this sound macabre?

phoenixbrd — Sat, 29 Dec 2018 03:31:46 GMT

No...it is not macabre. You are smart and making it easier in case of emergency. This past year we reviewed our living trusts and make sure that our banks/financial institutions had updated copies as well as other preventative measures in case of an emergency. We put all vehicles/motorcycles in joint names and I updated the financial notebook including all specific information regarding accounts etc. I have everything contained in a secure fireproof container. We are also considering a safe. We have had the discussion regarding preferences for funeral plans. Actually, it is freeing to address these issues, knowing that it will make a challenging time a bit easier.

A colleague's husband passed away unexpectedly at a fairly young age earlier this year. Her nightmare was not only a lack of preparation, but she found out about unexpected information that impacted her financial future. She has since hired two attorneys to address these issues. Although, I know this is not our situation (no secrets) it still inspired me to get all of our ducks in a row just for the ease of a challenging transition.

Re: Emergency Binder - does this sound macabre?

Icegoddess — Sat, 29 Dec 2018 03:27:46 GMT

Something my father did on most of his financial accounts was to make the TOD (Transfer on Death). In fact, the last time he was in the hospital, his investment guy took papers to him to have him do it to the ones he hadn't. That way the money funnels directly to the persons listed, in our case me and my sister without the need for probate. Plus, no need to fight over money. I had a bigger fight with the lawyer over money than my sister.

You might not want to do this, but he also had his checking account in all of our names. That way the money was our money and wasn't subject to probate. That was what I had a fight with the lawyer about. Of course, Dad was in his 80's and alone, so that might not be a good idea for your situation.

The only reason we did have to go through probate was because he had one Benjamin Edwards account which was not with his investment guy that wasn't TOD. To get that money out we had to do probate. The trade-off was that if we didn't do probate we had to hold onto the house for 2 years.

Also, if either of you were in the military, a copy of your DD-214.

And, if you're putting this binder in a safe, will they have the combination to the safe?

And what about passwords. Any they will need?