topic Re: ANY DAY NOW in Among Friends

ANY DAY NOW

Shanus — Wed, 26 Dec 2018 13:53:06 GMT

I’m so thankful to all of you for being here for me. When the day seems dark and so sad, lonely, I check back here to get strength and feel the love from you, my friends.

Mom’s fight is almost over. I spoke to Hospice late, last night and she’s no longer eating or drinking...sleeping all the time. She’s not in pain, thank God, but does moan every time the nurse changes her position. I’m crying as I say I hope her passing is swift...in peace, with no more time before pain may begin. She has shown immense courage and strength in her decision to refuse further treatments. This is a different side of Mom than I’ve seen before. When she had the first sign of a headache, Tylenol was in hand. This is a brave, unassisted fight for her.

My son took the Girls to say goodbye on Monday and I saw her yesterday for a few hours in the early morning. She recognized me for the few minutes she opened her eyes. As I had done with my Dad five years before, I told her all was taken care of here. Her grandchildren, great-children and I will love her always and keep her memory alive with pictures and stories. I held her hands as I said she is so tired and it is OK to let go now and rest in peace. She squeezed my hand and fell back asleep.

Jewish law requires no embalming, burial within a few days. We have a family plot that Dad purchased for all of us when my brother passed suddenly 20 years ago at 49. I’ve alerted the funeral home to stand by and contacted the family in NY and FL who will need to fly and that the situation is imminent. The rabbi and close friends (mine and hers) are on standby and so is the kennel for Sadie and Molly who have not left my side sensing my sadness and tears.

I’ll be taking today to straighten the house, purchase paper goods, large bottles of drinks, coffee, K Kups for the “decaffers” & tea. I’m getting all the preliminaries taken care of so food platters for the family after the cemetery will be my last phone calls. Family and visitors will stay on for 3 days of prayers and mourning called “sitting shiva”. Some people do a week or longer. All mirrors in the house are covered so we don’t see ourselves mourning. No small feat since I have at least 30 antique mirrors, collected over time, displayed along the stairway going along about 22 feet to the second floor balcony. DS did that last time when he arrived early from VA for Dad’s funeral. At 6’ tall he required no ladder on the stair treads. He and DIL (5’11”) are so helpful getting serving platters, pitchers, etc. from upper cabinet shelves.

So now, we hurry up and wait. I’ve done all I can do with only a few days to prepare. Can we ever be ready to lose someone we love?

Again, you have all been my rock when I come here for solace. I cannot thank each of you, but know you are all in my heart and I’m grateful for you.

Shanus

Re: ANY DAY NOW

Still Raining — Wed, 26 Dec 2018 13:58:22 GMT

I am sorry for your trial. Just know she is at peace.

Re: ANY DAY NOW

PINKdogWOOD — Wed, 26 Dec 2018 14:09:51 GMT

@Shanus Many of us have done all that you are doing right now. We know what we're doing but it all seems like a fog, just going through needed motions.

Your dear Mom is I believe feeling peace already. Having lost my sweet Dad this time of year many years ago 'knew' his time was at hand. I believe they tire out of all that, that's going on close to the end. They are ready in their heart, their mind and their soul.

Peace will soon be upon you and your loved ones. Your loss will still hurt but time, no matter how long it takes your hurt will lessen.

Re: ANY DAY NOW

BirkiLady — Wed, 26 Dec 2018 14:14:38 GMT

@Shanus Sending strength as you help your mom transition. Peace and comfort are with her. Hospice will provide more than Tylonel to help her progress without a headache or other pain. My mom was given morphine in July 2017, which eased and hastened her journey. What a joy to be with your dad, again!

Blessings, prayers and guidance for you and yours in the days ahead. Your family is prepared and will arrive to mourn a life well-lived. Savor the precious memories, Shanus. You are a kind, thoughtful daughter and family member.

Re: ANY DAY NOW

cancun08 — Wed, 26 Dec 2018 14:16:05 GMT

Sending you a hug and please know that we are here for you.

Re: ANY DAY NOW

goldensrbest — Wed, 26 Dec 2018 14:22:50 GMT

What ever faith we belong to ,it is tough losing those we love.

Re: ANY DAY NOW

Laura14 — Wed, 26 Dec 2018 14:29:56 GMT

Sending big love to you and your family.

Re: ANY DAY NOW

qualitygal — Wed, 26 Dec 2018 14:32:53 GMT

It's all going now, as she would have it. I see you've helped in releasing her to her own wishes. I think we all will get to make the final choice if placed in her position. Hugs.

Re: ANY DAY NOW

software — Wed, 26 Dec 2018 14:36:13 GMT

I'm so sorry @Shanus

We're here.

Re: ANY DAY NOW

Justice4all — Wed, 26 Dec 2018 14:50:20 GMT

There is so much solace in your warm and loving family

Re: ANY DAY NOW

LTT1 — Wed, 26 Dec 2018 15:04:03 GMT

@Shanus

Re: ANY DAY NOW

hayseed00 — Wed, 26 Dec 2018 15:09:09 GMT

My heart breaks for you and also your family. To say goodbye to someone who you have loved all your life is an unmeasurable sadness. Hold tight to your memories as they will help get you through this tough time, I know your strong faith will help you through this. Take care friend.

Re: ANY DAY NOW

dex — Wed, 26 Dec 2018 15:16:29 GMT

I am so sorry.There is a time for everyone to say goodbye and it is so painfully difficult that there are no words to comfort on this earth.I pray that her passing will be peaceful and that you will find a time where the painful loss will be diminished by beautiful memories of the love she gave.Sending hugs for you Shanus

Re: ANY DAY NOW

Texasmouse — Wed, 26 Dec 2018 15:16:35 GMT

I was where you are, five years ago, so I know how you feel. Sending (((HUGS)))

Re: ANY DAY NOW

Bird mama — Wed, 26 Dec 2018 15:44:16 GMT

@Shanus We are here, united in prayer that your mother's passing is a painless and peaceful journey.

I'm so glad that you can feel the good thoughts and vibrations being sent your way during this heartbreaking time.

Re: ANY DAY NOW

geezerette — Wed, 26 Dec 2018 15:45:20 GMT

Despite all your trials with your mother, it all really comes down to your question: “Can we ever be ready to lose someone we love?”

I suspect you know the answer now.

Sending cyber hugs and peaceful prayers to you and your loved ones.

🙏❤️🕊

Re: ANY DAY NOW

hellie jo — Wed, 26 Dec 2018 16:04:22 GMT

What a wonderful daughter you are.Sending hugs and prayers your way.

Re: ANY DAY NOW

Kachina624 — Wed, 26 Dec 2018 16:09:42 GMT

@Shanus. I've thought of you so often the past few days, wondering how things are going. Your narrative takes me back to when my dear dad was dying. He was here at my house but under hospice care. As you say, he also stopped eating and drinking and slept, eventually becoming comatose.

There are so many people here who have you in their thoughts and prayers. Wish there was something I could do to help but sounds as though your wonderful family is pitching in. Stay strong.

Re: ANY DAY NOW

roxxy1 — Wed, 26 Dec 2018 16:28:07 GMT

@Shanus Peace be with you during this difficult time.

Re: ANY DAY NOW

AnikaBrodie — Wed, 26 Dec 2018 17:31:30 GMT

@Shanus

Thinking of you with love, hope and prayers. I hope your mothers passing is peaceful. You are a wonderful caring daughter.