topic Grief Support Groups in Among Friends

Grief Support Groups

Greeneyedlady21 — Wed, 14 Nov 2018 22:24:44 GMT

Has anyone here ever been to one, if you care to share what was it like? Did it really help you?

Thinking about trying one, but I'm not comfortable at all talking in front of a group. Especially about something so painful that I still cry about it every day.

Anything anyone feels comfortable sharing I'd appreciate it. Other than someone I see once a week I have no support. The people that were in my life as support have basically disappeared since my loss. I've reached out to people , but I'm just so tired of getting hurt doing that. It's just too much now on top of my pain. My sibling support is nonexistent, that's my very sad reality.

Re: Grief Support Groups

jeanlake — Wed, 14 Nov 2018 22:26:50 GMT

You could visit a couple of times and if you aren't comfortable, don't return. A friend attended a group after the sudden loss of her husband. There are 5 stages of grief and loss and those in attendance will be at different places and walk through stages differently. My friend was in her angry stage when she attended and was offended when counselor suggested she tried to dominate group with her angry stories and that wasn't the format of the group. It was a sad and heartbreaking time for my friend and she didn't complete the program. Another friend went through a grief support group after being shocked by divorce and discovering his secrets. This friend said the group was a life saver for her. I believe it depends on stages and personality. I hope you give it a try. I'm sorry for your pain.

Re: Grief Support Groups

butterfly123 — Wed, 14 Nov 2018 22:37:50 GMT

@Greeneyedlady21

I have attended grief support groups and the experience was helpful. The groups I have attended were church related. There was a person who led the group so everyone who wanted to share was able to. I dislike speaking in front of a group and that wasn’t required. Instead, people shared in an informal way.

I’m hoping the person you see weekly or a close friend may have suggested different grief therapy groups to you. Sometimes the local hospitals will offer there facilities for groups too.

I forgot to mention, the groups I have attended had an agreement that whatever was spoken about in the group was kept confidential.

When you feel comfortable within a group you know that is the right fit.

Let me know if you have questions or concerns.

Hugs, prayers and blessings lovely lady,

🦋

Re: Grief Support Groups

pattiewaddle — Wed, 14 Nov 2018 22:42:30 GMT

I have not gone to a support group but family live in another area but we do talk quite often. Ive had to do so many things on my own such as changing titles into my name. what I have learned I have to take it one day at a time Things I never dreamed I would be doing Ive had to do My husband did all these things .I think Ive been tested every way possible home repairs and car.....I bought some books on grief from thriftbooks.com and they really helped.....I watch alot of programs on TBN its been 7 months and its better but still have my moments....6 months had a real set back but feel much stronger now.....keep busy that helps and if you need to weep do so its alright only you understand......I do plan to start church again soon want to do exercise either at home or walking the whole area of walmart with my cart to hang onto will not spend money ha!!!!!!!! cooking for one has been hard for me so I have to work on this.......Im not ready to be social yet so the next momths aregoing to be hard I know you can be strong and this will get better in time we are in this along with many others and theymade it so can we keep your chin up Ill be thinking of you. God loves you!!!!!!

Re: Grief Support Groups

DJP — Wed, 14 Nov 2018 22:42:32 GMT

Can you see that once a week person at least three times a week for a while? I know that I needed my therapist at least that many times in the beginning. I'm so sorry for your grief.

Re: Grief Support Groups

Laura14 — Wed, 14 Nov 2018 22:47:09 GMT

I have a friend who joined a grief support group on Facebook right after her mom died if you don't want to be in person. It seemed to help her a great deal. I don't remember the name of it but I am sure you can search and quite a few will come up. Look around and see if one speaks to you.

And if you want to be anonymous, just create a fake name Facebook account and go from there. No need to be public about anything at all if you don't want to.

I hope your pain lessens soon. We all go through something every day. You are NOT alone.

Re: Grief Support Groups

Ditz II — Wed, 14 Nov 2018 22:48:20 GMT

So sorry for your loss. When I became widowed, there was no support group I wanted to go to. I didn’t want to talk in front of other people. I didn’t think others would understand my feelings. There was some anger, and some hurt caused by my in-laws.

However I did use a website called Daily Strength. They have a specific area for windows & widowers. I didn’t contribute much, but I read a lot of other people‘s comments which helped soothe my soul.

I hope that you find comfort in this situation. It takes time, more time then we would like. Eventually the sorry isn’t as raw.

Re: Grief Support Groups

Greeneyedlady21 — Wed, 14 Nov 2018 22:54:08 GMT

The groups from Grief Share have a start date back in September ending in December. It's too late for me for that. But they're having a special group called Surviving The Holidays. Frankly I want nothing to do with the holidays...just seeing all the Christmas stuff now is so upsetting. My Mom loved Christmas so much so that makes it even harder. I knew last Christmas would be our last together and she did too. I got her a special smaller tree, she was in a hospital bed in the living room close to the end of her life. Before that she loved to go in there every night and enjoy the tree. The tree was still up the day she died in June. We kept it up because she loved it so much. I decorated it for every post Christmas holiday.

Re: Grief Support Groups

OKPrincess — Wed, 14 Nov 2018 22:53:48 GMT

The grief counseling I attended was through the hospital hospice. I benefited from listening to others stories and realized I wasn’t alone in grief. We helped each other.

Another one was offered through the funeral home which I didn’t attend because I had gone to the one through hospice.

I kept a journal and wrote something down my feelings, hurts, pains, etc everyday. Months later I realized how much stronger I had become and the tears didn’t flow everyday all day.

I hope you get the help you so desperately need. The groups are full of people just like you — they just want someone to talk to them or just listen.

Re: Grief Support Groups

Greeneyedlady21 — Wed, 14 Nov 2018 22:56:21 GMT

@DJP wrote:
Can you see that once a week person at least three times a week for a while? I know that I needed my therapist at least that many times in the beginning. I'm so sorry for your grief.

I don't think my insurance will cover more than once.

Re: Grief Support Groups

Mom2Dogs — Wed, 14 Nov 2018 23:05:08 GMT

@Greeneyedlady21....I recall for a full year after my mom died I felt very sad...some days I cried, others I managed to make it thru the day, but one day almost a year to the day after she died I was driving home from work and just a feeling of happiness came over me..... for lack of a better phrase, I just get felt good, that dark cloud seemed to lift off my shoulders and heart.

I never went to a group, I am to shy for that sort of thing and would not have felt comfortable speaking out loud...probably what helped me the most was my best friend, we talked a lot about our moms, her mom was sick at the time, mine had already passed away......it is a horrible time, and I still miss her terribly. Holidays are not the same.....take care of yourself...you can always come to these boards to talk.

Re: Grief Support Groups

hayseed00 — Wed, 14 Nov 2018 23:06:35 GMT

I'm sorry for the sadness and lonliness you are feeling right now. I don't know you or your situation, but I have experienced grief and loss and know first hand how deep and seemingly endless the heartache can be. If you aren't sure a grief support group is something you would be comfortable with, maybe talking one on one with a grief counselor would be easier to start with.

Re: Grief Support Groups

RedTop — Wed, 14 Nov 2018 23:11:53 GMT

Without any doubts whatsoever, I will say that the Grief Share program thru 2 local churches saved my friend from work after she lost her adult child.

She went from depression to flat out losing her will to live; we had to go to her house, and physically pull her out of bed and push her into the shower, to get her functioning again.

My friend continues to work, and still goes to Grief Share. She absolutely found the support she needed, and goes to the meetings now to give support to others.

Best wishes to you.

Re: Grief Support Groups

shortbreadlover — Wed, 14 Nov 2018 23:13:13 GMT

i feel that each person had to decide just what they are comfortable with. for some groups are the way to go, others just have to work it out for themselves.

Re: Grief Support Groups

Greeneyedlady21 — Wed, 14 Nov 2018 23:13:28 GMT

@hayseed00I talk to a grief counselor from the hospice on the phone. He's just always so busy and I'm feeling clear signals that he doesn't want to be bothered with me anymore. The last time I texted him he said he had ten minutes to talk to me. So I said nevermind, that's ok. Ten minutes is not enough. The hospice support didn't turn out to be what I thought it would be.

The person I see once a week, grief counseling is one of her fields.

Re: Grief Support Groups

pigletsmom — Wed, 14 Nov 2018 23:50:29 GMT

I haven't been to one but I would think you could go an feel it out. There's no commitment that you keep going.

I don't know your story but I think sometimes people are hoping to stop the grief. Most likely whatever you are feeling is normal unless it's been a very long time. I've found even a few years later things can still strike you out of no where. Three years in and I have more awful dreams now than I ever did.

I would ask the person you're dealing with weekly for a referral to a group. Then maybe get there a little early and if there is a leader you can say you just want to listen for a while and not talk. I would think these groups are good at welcoming people.

Re: Grief Support Groups

hayseed00 — Thu, 15 Nov 2018 00:13:03 GMT

I also didn't find what I was looking for in our hospice support person, but I had become friends with a Catholic Deacon who was there for me and actually gave me great insight. I have a very loving husband but he just didn't know what to say sometimes when I would ask him why I couldn't move on after the death of my Dad and actually was the one who suggested I talk with my Deacon and I'm so glad I did. I'm not saying I felt better very fast but over time the pain and loss softened and I hold steadfast to all my wonderful memories of him. Keep serching for the right person or group that can help you through this, they are out there. Stay strong friend !!!!

Re: Grief Support Groups

geezerette — Thu, 15 Nov 2018 00:34:42 GMT

First, I would like to extend my condolences for the loss of your mother. It’s a cliche, but everyone really does experience grief in different ways and for different lengths of time.

When my husband died earlier this year (it still freaks me out to write those words), I briefly considered a grief support group. Not because I wanted to, but because I felt I should. I think sometimes when we lose someone so very close to us, we do as @pigletsmom said, we just want the pain to go away. I sure did. (And still do, if truth be told.) But I didn’t want to talk to just anyone, I wanted to talk to someone who knew my husband, and what a wonderful and unique person he was. I have just one such person, but one is enough for me.

I would also suggest you speak with the person you see now for a recommendation. You’re not locked in to anything, so if you find a group is not for you, you don’t have to continue. If your mother had close friends, perhaps speaking with them might help. Or clergy. I also used email a lot, as my family is all out of state. Often writing is easier for me than speaking to someone face to face.

I would also consider online support, as has also been suggested. There are many options available. I found a lot of support right here in the Widows thread. In fact, I don’t see any reason why you couldn’t start your own Grief thread. There is always someone around here here that will listen. 🕊🙏

Re: Grief Support Groups

Zhills — Thu, 15 Nov 2018 01:38:12 GMT

Maybe it is just me, but I don't understand how knowing someone else is grieving makes it any easier to bear your own loss. Enlighten me!

I am truly sorry for your loss. Hope you find something that helps.

Re: Grief Support Groups

PamfromCT — Thu, 15 Nov 2018 00:43:31 GMT

I am so sorry for all the grief you are going through. One way or another, don’t stop your search for someone to help you get through this very difficult time. Is there someone else affiliated with Hospice you can meet with? Any religious-affiliated groups? I think when we are grieving, it is essential to talk with people who completely understand where you are coming from. I did have support when my mom died, and then afterward I found doing some volunteer work very helpful. It’s different for everyone, and yet the same for everyone. Losing your mom is like losing your anchor, I know.