topic Re: Personal rant in Among Friends

Personal rant

TX-starlight — Fri, 27 Jul 2018 04:02:17 GMT

I'm a senior lady, & something odd is going on with me. Lately, it seems lots of little things get on my nerves. I'm about to become a hermit/recluse, just not to have to deal with people. Recently a friend really hurt my feeling. She knows she did, but hasn't made an attempt to apologize. I haven't spoken to her since. I mentioned the incident to another friend of ours. The 2nd friend tried to somewhat smooth it over, by saying the other couldn't understand why I got so upset. SO' the 1 who said it to begin with, knows she was wrong. I have sent this lady many cards during her time of sickness & birthdays. I'm not going to make a big deal of it, but I'm also not going to forget it. (The comment was about my weight & health). Most of the time I wouldn't have really thought too much, but this really irritated me. There are lots of other things with different friends that have started to irritate me. Do I need something to take "the edge off", or is this normal in aging?? I just don't feel the need to let people walk on me, & say something like this to me. I would never, in a million years, say anything that I know might offend a friend. I'm not 1 to say "you NEED to do this or that", I keep thoughts to myself.

*(I'll probably regret this posting).

Re: Personal rant

catwhisperer — Fri, 27 Jul 2018 04:16:51 GMT

@TX-starlight....I totally understand where you are coming from. The older I get, the more irritable I am. I'm in my late 60's. I have no tolerance for stupidity or inconsiderate people. I have spent too many years putting up with other people's nonsense and am not taking it anymore. So, in other words, you are not alone. Hope this helps.

Re: Personal rant

QVCkitty1 — Fri, 27 Jul 2018 04:22:51 GMT

I think regardless of our age sometimes we just get tired of letting things go. At some point you have to draw a line and decide what you will tolerate.

Re: Personal rant

TX-starlight — Fri, 27 Jul 2018 04:30:32 GMT

@catwhisperer Tks! I'm almost 66, I was beginning to think I was the "crabby old lady down the street",lol. That's exactly how I feel, tired of everyone's nonsense. Don't even get me started on my family, who thinks I'm non-existant (a whole other thread).

Re: Personal rant

catwhisperer — Fri, 27 Jul 2018 04:34:42 GMT

@TX-starlight....I am the crabby old lady, and you know what? I don't give a darn.

Re: Personal rant

Mominohio — Fri, 27 Jul 2018 04:35:02 GMT

I am becoming a really odd mix of someone I don't know as I age.

I used to be so impatient, and thought I had to say whatever my opinion was in a situation. The older I get, many of the things that are in my head, I'm taking longer to process, and often decide it simply isn't worth it to let it come out of my mouth. Usually because the person or situation isn't worth the bother of what I'm considering saying. That was never me in the past.

I also am much less tolerant of others rudeness, selfishness, and neediness, including those closest to me. I don't tolerate it anymore, but I feel the need to simply tell them once, and move on but often distance myself from them emotionally somewhat now, and without drama or feelings of loss when doing so.

I hate pouting and grudges so I won't do that, but I do definitely find myself less invested in a lot of people in my life, and I'm really ok with it being that way.

Re: Personal rant

bamasec — Fri, 27 Jul 2018 04:36:45 GMT

@catwhisperer wrote:
@TX-starlight....I totally understand where you are coming from. The older I get, the more irritable I am. I'm in my late 60's. I have no tolerance for stupidity or inconsiderate people. I have spent too many years putting up with other people's nonsense and am not taking it anymore. So, in other words, you are not alone. Hope this helps.

I could not have said it better, you took the words right out of my mouth. I always wondered if I was the only one who felt this way

Re: Personal rant

catwhisperer — Fri, 27 Jul 2018 04:41:22 GMT

@bamasec....(((Hugs))) You are not alone.

Re: Personal rant

catwhisperer — Fri, 27 Jul 2018 04:45:25 GMT

Just to add, I have family and friends who have relied on me for emotional support for years, and I have been there for them, but I am now at a point in my life where I just don't have it in me to give as much as I would like to.

Re: Personal rant

hsawaknow — Fri, 27 Jul 2018 04:48:42 GMT

I have been quite cranky myself and less tolarant of stupid and rude people myself.

Re: Personal rant

mintedrose — Fri, 27 Jul 2018 05:01:34 GMT

You know its really not about how old someone is because everyone has feelings and some people are too nice to say things that hurt others because they know themselves if someone said hurtful things to them it would hurt anyones feelings. Im in my 30s and can relate to you because i find dealing with people challenging because of the horrible things people say and not even apologize. I have history of famlly doing that to me and i no longer can tolerate it. Im sorry that your feelings were hurt by your friend, i really hope she apologizes to you. If not you can always tell her whats on your mind.

Re: Personal rant

Kitlynn — Fri, 27 Jul 2018 05:03:35 GMT

I don't think this is so much an age thing as it is a personal revelation thing. I think if you are someone who is the type of person that has always been there for others and are very giving of yourself that one day you just have an epiphany. All of a sudden you realize that no one is asking you how you feel or how you are doing. They just always assume you are fine and have no problems or that you just handle things really well and don't need any support system. You start realizing that you have feelings too and that you should matter just as much as everyone else. That you deserve to be shown the same consideration that you give others. Then all of a sudden you are just worn out and tired from always being the giver. You realize that you want someone else to be there for you too. Then you just all of a sudden realize that you don't have to be the one there for everyone else and you give yourself permission to own your own feelings and just not accept the nonsense anymore.

Re: Personal rant

Snowpuppy — Fri, 27 Jul 2018 05:11:19 GMT

@catwhisperer wrote:
Just to add, I have family and friends who have relied on me for emotional support for years, and I have been there for them, but I am now at a point in my life where I just don't have it in me to give as much as I would like to.

I had this conversation recently. It seems like some people don't care about the drama they put YOU thru.

I'm not talking about a major issue like divorce, job loss, etc but those that have incessant needs that somehow require your time and energy daily.

Some people just wear you out.

Re: Personal rant

fanb — Fri, 27 Jul 2018 05:14:31 GMT

Perfectly stated. I realized that I was never unavailable for my children either emotionally or financially . Now I realize it was a mistake to allow myself to be taken for granted.. Now I feel stupid and very hurt when my ,chickens came home to roost,.

Re: Personal rant

TX-starlight — Fri, 27 Jul 2018 05:31:49 GMT

@Kitlynn WOW!!! You said it much better than I did. Your post could have been "said/typed" by me.

**Thank you all for understanding, now I know I'm not alone in the world! That's what I like about these boards. I can come here, do some ranting & some people understand.

Re: Personal rant

bamasec — Fri, 27 Jul 2018 05:40:48 GMT

@catwhisperer wrote:
@bamasec....(((Hugs))) You are not alone.

Thank you so much for the hugs, it felt good for a change.

bamasec

Re: Personal rant

Mistic — Fri, 27 Jul 2018 05:44:10 GMT

@TX-starlight ~

May I join the Group? I turned 62 in June. So much ******/stuff has happened in the last year...

I informed all my Children & my Husband that starting on my Birthday? This was the year of Mom. I was going to do what I wanted, within reason of course. "LOL" And I was going to say what I thought. Another within reason of course. "LOL"

They all looked at me like I was Crazy! Of course we all laughed and joked about it, but guess what? More than once in the last 6 weeks, I have been reminded by someone ~ THIS IS THE YEAR OF MOM! GO MOM GO!

Hang In There! You Are "NOT" Alone!!!

Re: Personal rant

AngelPuppy1 — Fri, 27 Jul 2018 09:24:38 GMT

@TX-starlight

Count me in as a member of this "club"!

I am feeling the same way and I have for a while. I am 66, so I think age has something to do with it. But not totally!! I am just fed up with a life-time of this kind of thing.

My whole life I have always pretty much done what other people wanted and expected of me, to the detriment of myself. I excused or let pass all sorts of bad behavior, rude comments, ignorant treatment, neglect --- you name it!!!!

Suddenly --- I just had my fill and no longer accept much of this sort of thing and have even separated myself from several people who have used me as their personal dormat and felt that they could say anything they wanted to me and treat me any old way they wished. Also, as others have stated, I have always tried to be a good, faithful, attentive and helpful family member and friend, and it has rarely ever been returned.

I started thinking --- I have fewer years in front of me than behind and I have more than paid my dues. Enough!

So, I would rather spend more time alone. Peace and quiet is my happy place.

If people don't see or appreciate my worth, then it is their loss!!

I understand and completely concur with what you have said! There is nothing wrong with learning and/or realizing that life is too short and we need to do more of what makes us happy!

Re: Personal rant

Pook — Fri, 27 Jul 2018 09:45:52 GMT

@TX-starlight You are not alone!! I have always been a patient very open minded person but the older I get, the less patience I have for stupid, judgemental, pushy, negative and selfish people. I also don't even care to go out much anymore and be around people because of it. I won't sit back and ignore people like that anymore for the sake of peace. I have eliminated those who are so negative from my life for the most part and am much more relaxed and happy. I no longer think it's better to get out more since I get so affected by negativity in so many. I like my company as well as that of mySO and pets. It never used to be like that and no it's not the young I'm referring to.

Re: Personal rant

qualitygal — Fri, 27 Jul 2018 09:46:03 GMT

It sounds like you just need a little time out for yourself personally. Take a break. Think all this through until you understand it for yourself.

You need to think things through, and come to the decisions you need to for your own life. Walk thru it, mull it all over, until you can't think on it one more minute. Then you'll either change something, let it all go and let the chips fall where they may, or forgive and forget it. Or, you'll see not make a mountain out of a mole hill. It's all up to you.