topic Re: UPDATE - SON ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL in Among Friends

UPDATE - SON ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL

shoppinggirl12 — Mon, 30 Apr 2018 17:52:31 GMT

So my son has been in the psyc hospital since Friday, when they transfered him from the emergency room. He does not want to talk to me, nor did he give doctor permission to talk about his medical care.

I am at my witts end. His girlfriend, who goes to see him everyday, said yesterday, that he was getting released on Tuesday. I said that is way too soon. She says he seems to be much better. For those who didn't follow story.....it appears that he had a maniac episode.

Now the case worker called me back and said I have to appear in hospital court tomorrow, and if I don't show up,. and my son asks to be released, he will be!!

But then I am told that no doctor would release him after only a few days.

UGH! Need to know what to do.

Re: UPDATE - SON ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL

Carmie — Mon, 30 Apr 2018 18:07:33 GMT

You can only do what you are allowed to legally. Unless your Son is a threat to himself or others, he can sign himself out. He doesn’t need a doctor to do it.

It is really difficilt to stay for more than three days in a psych hospital. Patients will be released and scheduled for ongoing outpatient services.

Go to the hearing. Do whatever you have to do to help him get the help he needs. Remind your son often that you love him...no matter what.

Re: UPDATE - SON ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL

CrazyDaisy — Mon, 30 Apr 2018 18:04:33 GMT

Seems fairly straight forward, if you want your son to stay hospitalized you need to follow the case workers advice. As long as your son is not a danger to himself or others most doctors cannot hold him.

Re: UPDATE - SON ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL

Imaoldhippie — Mon, 30 Apr 2018 18:04:55 GMT

Gosh, it seems like you are getting tall tales. Your son is an adult and I dont understand what your say so has to anything to do with whether he stays or goes. He doesnt want you to have any knowledge about this care, yet you have to appear in "hospital court"? Never heard of such a thing. Maybe its just time you let him be on his own, he seems to want it that way. You can turn it all over to God and let him handle it for you. You will never quit worrying, your a parent. But just what are you supposed to do? I am so sorry you are having to go through all of this. I wish you the best.

Re: UPDATE - SON ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL

tobes — Mon, 30 Apr 2018 18:22:18 GMT

I had a similar situation where someone i loved refused to let be involved in their care. You can do nothing more than make it known to the court and all treating physicians that you still want to remain involved in his care. Then please avail yourself to get the help of a therapist who will keep you sane.

Re: UPDATE - SON ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL

LTT1 — Mon, 30 Apr 2018 18:31:34 GMT

@shoppinggirl12

It seems you need to go to the hearing.

I hope that either because of the hearing, or because of perhaps your sons realization, he will forgive you for doing what was in his best interest.

You will probably have the opportunity to hear more parts of this story...for instance, the doctor's medical/psychiatric opinion of your son’s status.

Maybe your son will have the opportunity to “hear” the follow-up necessary to re-gain a more normal mental health status.

Since he is an adult (age-wise), you may have to really remain cool and ignore your insides screaming that he is not ready to go home.

It is a very sad thing for you and I am sorry for you. But this is an important opportunity not to be missed.❤️❤️💙💙

Re: UPDATE - SON ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL

chrystaltree — Mon, 30 Apr 2018 18:33:59 GMT

Well, you certainly do make a lot of assumptions based on little to no information. You don't know what the diagnosis is because your son's doctor can't disclose that to you and you don't know if he had a "manic" episode. You don't know what he had or what's going on with him. So, you don't know if it's too soon to discharge him. You also don't know the conditions of his discharge. When he is dicharged, there will be a continuing treatment plan and therapy visits and perhaps medication and perhaps follow up with social worker. They aren't going to just send him off on his merry way. He's not a child, you aren't his guardian. If the doctors feel that he should be discharged. If they feel that it safe for him to be discharged and if there is a discharge plan in place; he will be discharged. He's going to need a support system and as his mother, they probably want to included you as part of that support system. You are calling it a "hospital court" and I don't really know why unless he was recently arrested and there are law enforcement issues. That doesn't seem to be the case. I believe they asked you to attend a planning session that will include his doctors, a social worker, a discharge planner, probably his girlfriend and you since you. That's not a "court".

Re: UPDATE - SON ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL

CatLoverDogsToo — Mon, 30 Apr 2018 18:36:02 GMT

@shoppinggirl12: I am sorry you are going through this.

Go to the hospital court. State everything you have observed and your concerns as calmly as you can. Avoid being overly emotional or dramatic which will be very hard. Calm collected statements will be helpful. Emotions will not.

I do know how hard this will be, as I had to go to court over an issue with my son.

Our children are our "heart" walking around outside of our bodies, and no matter how old they are, it never gets any easier to let go of worry.

I wish you the best, and hope your son gets the treatment he needs.

Re: UPDATE - SON ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL

151949 — Mon, 30 Apr 2018 18:38:25 GMT

The law says they can only keep someone hospitalized against their will for 72 hours. Before that time is up there has to be a hearing before a judge to determine if the patient is capable of making his own decisions and if he is a danger to himself or others. If he is determined to be unable to be responsible for his own care he will need to have a legal guardian appointed to be responsible for him before he can be released. If you end up being his guardian make certain they understand that you will not be responsible for paying for his care. Make that very clear. Anyway, then he'll be sent home with his guardian whose main job will be to make sure he takes his medications and goes to his therapy appts. If he is determined to be capable of caring for himself he will just be released with probably an appt for the psyciatrist.

Re: UPDATE - SON ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL

151949 — Mon, 30 Apr 2018 19:27:21 GMT

Where I worked in Pa. if a patient was still in ICU after OD or suicide attempt - and they frequently were, the judge and anyone else who would be involved would come to the ICU - the hearing would be held in the ICU conference room. The judge would always want to see the patient and the charge nurse would take them in to see the patient , but we were not allowed to discuss anything about the patient - they had to direct ALL questions to the physician or the patient if they could answer. Anyway, I am thinking this is what the OP is referring to.

Re: UPDATE - SON ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL

shoppinggirl12 — Mon, 30 Apr 2018 19:28:48 GMT

Well, I have to go, it was mandated by hospital. It is when you get someone commited, against their will. You then have to tell them what you observed. They said he can get out, as long as doctor agrees, he can go to outpatient care. But that is only good if you DO it.

He is still very mad at me. I don't understand it. It really makes me sad. He has access to a phone, and never called me.

Re: UPDATE - SON ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL

Carmie — Mon, 30 Apr 2018 19:48:47 GMT

@shoppinggirl12 Of course he is angry at you. He is having a normal reaction to the situation. He is ill and not thinking straight.

You need to think of him as being sick and not being able to respond reasonably to his involuntary commintment. Don’t push him or say anything hurtful to him or complain about his treatment of you. This,situation is not about you or your feelings.

It’s about a young man who is ill and needs help and support to get through hard time.

Re: UPDATE - SON ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL

CrazyDaisy — Mon, 30 Apr 2018 19:52:01 GMT

@shoppinggirl12 wrote:
Well, I have to go, it was mandated by hospital. It is when you get someone commited, against their will. You then have to tell them what you observed. They said he can get out, as long as doctor agrees, he can go to outpatient care. But that is only good if you DO it.

He is still very mad at me. I don't understand it. It really makes me sad. He has access to a phone, and never called me.

You had him committed, he may not being seeing that as a positive right now. Give it time.

Re: UPDATE - SON ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL

AuntG — Mon, 30 Apr 2018 20:00:31 GMT

You must know why he is mad at you. Go to the hearing, be calm, and answer any questions. Don't draw any conclusions yet. As an adult, he may be released and you will have to accept what appears to be a dumb decision.

Re: UPDATE - SON ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL

YorkieonmyPillow — Mon, 30 Apr 2018 20:01:10 GMT

@chrystaltree wrote:
Well, you certainly do make a lot of assumptions based on little to no information. You don't know what the diagnosis is because your son's doctor can't disclose that to you and you don't know if he had a "manic" episode. You don't know what he had or what's going on with him. So, you don't know if it's too soon to discharge him. You also don't know the conditions of his discharge. When he is dicharged, there will be a continuing treatment plan and therapy visits and perhaps medication and perhaps follow up with social worker. They aren't going to just send him off on his merry way. He's not a child, you aren't his guardian. If the doctors feel that he should be discharged. If they feel that it safe for him to be discharged and if there is a discharge plan in place; he will be discharged. He's going to need a support system and as his mother, they probably want to included you as part of that support system. You are calling it a "hospital court" and I don't really know why unless he was recently arrested and there are law enforcement issues. That doesn't seem to be the case. I believe they asked you to attend a planning session that will include his doctors, a social worker, a discharge planner, probably his girlfriend and you since you. That's not a "court".

MMEEOOOWWW

Re: UPDATE - SON ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL

Mz iMac — Mon, 30 Apr 2018 20:03:49 GMT

@shoppinggirl12 wrote:
I don't understand it. It really makes me sad. He has access to a phone, and never called me.

From reading your postings, that seems to be the problem. Depending on the outcome of this "hospital court".....

Since your son is an adult you will need to take him to court to take over his medical decisions. Consult w/a "family lawyer" to check out your options in your state. Consultations are FREE!

Most importantly, if I were in your shoes, I would CALL or visit in person your local Social Service department. Find out if there are "bipolor" support groups *for families* in your area (if that is your son's diagnosis). Go to them. There you will learn how to "cope" w/help from "families" who have been and/or still in your shoes. You will also learn all there is to know about bipolor conditions.

Do a Google and/or Binge search for reliable online resources.

Re: UPDATE - SON ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL

CAcableGirl2 — Mon, 30 Apr 2018 20:10:36 GMT

@shoppinggirl12 If the girlfriend has contact with you, I would make sure to tell her that you love your son, and will unconditionally love him regardless if he wants to communicate with you.

Don't be too aggressive with her (or she may cut you off), but I would be sure that she knows that you care about him, love him, and only want him to be happy and healthy, and will always willing to have a relationship with him if and when he is interested.

She may be the link that you need to reconnect with your son in the future, if not in the next few days or weeks.

Re: UPDATE - SON ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL

software — Mon, 30 Apr 2018 20:14:29 GMT

Try to meet with the case worker before court to review the documents.

Why can the case worker share information but not the doctor?

If he's an adult, all his records should be private.

Why does he even have a case worker taking him to court?

Lot's of questions

Re: UPDATE - SON ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL

Maysie — Mon, 30 Apr 2018 20:22:27 GMT

I’m a Psych nurse. Sounds like your son is asking for discharge and there’s going to be a probate hearing in the hospital. It is usual that family members are asked to come. A judge will be there and it will be an official court proceeding. Unless the Dr. and interested parties can show proof that he is a danger to self, others or is gravely disabled, he will be released and continue care in the community.

Re: UPDATE - SON ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL

RedTop — Mon, 30 Apr 2018 20:39:27 GMT

@shoppinggirl12,

I am very sorry for this very concerning situation with your son. Please be aware that your son is most likely upset with you for the way you have reacted to his issues.

His admission to a psych facility will result in a diagnosis and treatment plan, and he will have to learn to manage his health issues. Your son is an adult, and the treating facility, and anyone he comes in contact with will treat him as an adult.

Your sons health issue is going to be an eye opening experience into the world of behavioral medicine. I get the feeling you think he needs longer inpatient treatment, which is not always the way these types of episodes are handled. Your son has been monitored around the clock since his admission, and has received medication as prescribed. It seems highly likely his issues can be handled with medication and frequent monitoring.

Your son may walk out of the psych facility, take his medication, follow up with his doctors and never need full inpatient care again. On the other hand, he may not be mature enough to be a compliant patient, and may struggle for awhile before he sees the light with his medical condition. Whatever happens, the way you handle this situation with your sons mental health issue, will likely define your relationship from this step forward. As a mother, you will always care, and do your best to help your son, but you must step back, stop hovering, stop seeing him as your little boy, and urge him to be responsible for his health care.

Best wishes to you.