topic Re: LIVING ALONE, UPDATE in Among Friends

LIVING ALONE, UPDATE

qvc chick — Mon, 16 Apr 2018 15:30:47 GMT

So I helped my son and his girlfriend move into their own place yesterday. Helped unload, and spent the day with them.

I promptly returned home and cried my eyes out. I miss him!

Ok, so what is wrong with me??

Re: LIVING ALONE, UPDATE

QVCkitty1 — Mon, 16 Apr 2018 15:38:04 GMT

@qvc chick wrote:
So I helped my son and his girlfriend move into their own place yesterday. Helped unload, and spent the day with them.

I promptly returned home and cried my eyes out. I miss him!

Ok, so what is wrong with me??

Give yourself a little time to adjust to the " new normal " , you might find that living alone isn't all that bad.🌺

Re: LIVING ALONE, UPDATE

qualitygal — Mon, 16 Apr 2018 15:38:55 GMT

Nothing, it's called human mom. Give it time. They didn't leave planet earth, it's still ok.

Re: LIVING ALONE, UPDATE

Alison Wonderland — Mon, 16 Apr 2018 15:44:08 GMT

Nothing is wrong with you. It's hard, but it gets better.

Twenty years ago, I left my family in California and moved to Texas by myself. I had no family and few friends in my new place. I would up hating the job I moved here for. I missed my family and my friends and I cried a lot. I visited my family twice a year and everytime I got on the plane back to Texas, I spent the first 15 minutes of the flight in tears.

It's hard to make new friends as an adult, but I found some volunteer groups, knitting groups, book clubs, and political organizations to join and made new friends. I started to feel better and had new people to talk to and new activities to take up my time.

I don't want to make this a political thread, so this is NOT about partisan politics at all, but one of the nice things about joining a political organization or volunteering on a campaign means you're meeting with people who likely share the same values as you - no matter which side of the fence you fall on or what those values are! It's easier to talk to people when you have an idea of where the baseline is. In book clubs, knitting groups, dog parks,etc, you may have a more diverse group. That's also great, but it's nice to have one group where you more or less know what you're getting into and don't have to worry about saying something that everyone else will be mad about.

Again, nothing is wrong with you. You're going through a big adjustment period and it's going to take some time to get used to it. And you're going to be okay.

Re: LIVING ALONE, UPDATE

NycVixen — Mon, 16 Apr 2018 15:56:05 GMT

You are a great mom. There is nothing wrong with you. I wish I had a mom or MIL like you. In my case, both haven't been supportive of our relationship like they should've been and it's 10 years together and 5 years of marriage.

You are loving, supportive, helpful and engaged without being obtrusive or overly possessive. You miss your boy and that's normal. It will take a while. IMO the important thing is to overcome the feeling of loss in a reasonable amount of time. My MIL is still not over it and acts out towards me to this day.

Please know that you have done everything to be certain your son grows up to be a caring and independent young man. It is now the time for him to move to the next stage of his life and for you as well. Relish the fact that he's able to move on his own and help him so it goes well. When the time comes, you will find a new path and you and your son will meet many, many times again as you both continue your journeys.

Change and adaptation is part of life and being able to do it successfully is to be applauded. Congratulations to you both!

Re: LIVING ALONE, UPDATE

geezerette — Mon, 16 Apr 2018 15:45:00 GMT

There’s nothing “wrong” with you. You’ve been dreading this and now it’s happened. It was a natural reaction. Your emotions are high right now.

I agree with the others. Give yourself time. And in the meantime, don’t beat yourself up about how you feel. Your life has changed. People react differently and on different timelines.

Re: LIVING ALONE, UPDATE

meallen616 — Mon, 16 Apr 2018 15:51:04 GMT

@qvc chick,

Absolutely nothing is wrong with you, you are a MOM! Think positive and try to keep busy! Keep us posted,

Sending you,

Re: LIVING ALONE, UPDATE

LTT1 — Mon, 16 Apr 2018 15:55:24 GMT

@qvc chick

What everybody else said...

to add: I think during menopause and right before I am more tearful than ever before. Silly tears come from various thoughts for me... usually good thoughts of past experiences. Nostalgia runs rampant for me!

My tearful times are short-lived, but if you find yourself thinking something is wrong with you, I’d ask the doctor.

No need to suffer if you can’t “shake” the tears after a logical amount of time.

Re: LIVING ALONE, UPDATE

StephfromIdaho — Mon, 16 Apr 2018 15:57:25 GMT

Nothing is wrong with you. You are a lovely mom who misses your son. You’ll get used to it and I predict, will love living alone. Get busy Doug what you want to do, take a cooking class, lean to kayak, it’s your turn!!!!

Re: LIVING ALONE, UPDATE

OKPrincess — Mon, 16 Apr 2018 15:59:47 GMT

It sounds like you still have a good relationship with your son and that’s really important. You will be fine but takes time to get use to living alone. Have your home as safe as possible so you won’t feel scared. That would be my number one concern.

Re: LIVING ALONE, UPDATE

YorkieonmyPillow — Mon, 16 Apr 2018 16:26:26 GMT

Nothing is wrong with you.

If you had no response whatsoever to your son leaving, THEN I might wonder what is "wrong" with you!

I totally agree with @NycVixen......I think you're a wonderful Mom!

Re: LIVING ALONE, UPDATE

mamaglam — Mon, 16 Apr 2018 16:37:09 GMT

There is nothing wrong with you, change is hard. I went through the same thing with my daughter when she bought her own home while still single. I am proud that she was able to purchase a home on her own and she was an independant woman. You will get used to your new circumstances, I promise you. It's okay to feel the way you do, but have a little faith and patience, you will be fine.

Re: LIVING ALONE, UPDATE

qvc chick — Mon, 16 Apr 2018 16:43:13 GMT

Oh my gosh, what sweet responses! Sometimes we all need to be told we are good moms, right?

I know I will get passed this, and I hope we stay close. He said maybe our relationship will be get better biw that he has moved out. I would get mad at him alot, when he lived at home, because he was sloppy.

Re: LIVING ALONE, UPDATE

PinkyPetunia — Mon, 16 Apr 2018 17:30:33 GMT

just wondering how old your son is?

Yes your relationship will probably get better as absence makes the heart grow fonder. Give yourself time to adjust and enjoy being alone. You won't have to yell at your son for being sloppy.

Re: LIVING ALONE, UPDATE

qvc chick — Mon, 16 Apr 2018 19:48:14 GMT

He is 30. He is a late bloomer. Always lived at home until now.

Re: LIVING ALONE, UPDATE

Peaches McPhee — Mon, 16 Apr 2018 20:44:24 GMT

Give yourself some time. If you are still crying after 6 months have passed, then you can worry . . .

Re: LIVING ALONE, UPDATE

Catty2 — Mon, 16 Apr 2018 21:26:18 GMT

Nothing is wrong with you. This is a huge change in your life. Be kind and patient with yourself. Do you have a pet? Having another living thing in the house may help. I have lived alone for years and have always had at least one pet. Keep us posted on how you are doing. Take care.

Re: LIVING ALONE, UPDATE

qvcaddition — Tue, 17 Apr 2018 01:58:12 GMT

@qvc chick

@qvc chick wrote:
So I helped my son and his girlfriend move into their own place yesterday. Helped unload, and spent the day with them.

I promptly returned home and cried my eyes out. I miss him!

Ok, so what is wrong with me??

Nothing. This happen to me many years ago. My Son was my best friend, helper, we ran together, did everything together. When he got a girlfriend and moved out, it was lonely. I had an abusive husband, his stepfather and my son would be their for support.

I got a divorce and was really living alone,. but it got better. I took classes, volunteer, worked, went out with friends. Time takes care of it and without realizing it, you get beatter and better and love living alone. You do have to get involved with life though and not just sit at home or work and just go home. Only you can make you happy or sad., no one else. When you choose to be happy by yourself, you feel so good. Best wishes and God Bless

Re: LIVING ALONE, UPDATE

Big Sister — Tue, 17 Apr 2018 02:28:53 GMT

Many years ago my very good girlfriend opened up to me about her son getting married. She was sad and realized that he was no longer her little boy whom she "looked" after for 32 years, and that another woman would be taking her place. She adjusted in time and has a wonderful relationship with her son and DIL.

You, too, will adjust to this new chapter in your life. Life is really about change. You have not lost your son, but you have gained a daughter to love.

Re: LIVING ALONE, UPDATE

webbgarner1 — Tue, 17 Apr 2018 04:30:19 GMT

Lonliness is a terrible thing. I hope you will purue your interests, make friends. But, i have to say. Isn't raising your child into adulthood, and seeing them grow, be productive, and prosper, have their own interests and families, being happy and fullfilled, , is not that one of the most rewarding things about being a parent.