topic Re: No Compliments in Among Friends

No Compliments

HouseMouse — Mon, 19 Mar 2018 18:54:03 GMT

Hello

I am wondering if anyone else is going thru this?

First of all I DO know that you cant/shouldnt get your

worth and value etc thru compliments from others. I am always complimenting others all the time.

But ever since I was around 57 to 60 years old I do not

get any compliments from anyone. ( i am 60 now)

Years ago I was always complimented on clothes, hair,

looks etc.

It makes me feel Very Insecure and even Inferior now that I dont get them from anyone.

Im divorced so it is not like I can get them from a husband etc.

When I am with other people everyone is complimenting others on how much they like their hair or new top.

Even when I know that I look decent or nice no one says a word. I try to pretend Im not bothered at all by this. When my hair looks really good or Im wearing a nice new top still no one says a word.

It makes me feel like I should go under a rock or something. It just makes me feel embarassed not to have anyone say anything nice when people are saying things to others.

I am not very confident at this time in my life. I wear classic decent clean clothing and dress in things I like and feel comfy in.

I do not look my age I dont feel, and have been told some times that I dont. I dont dress old if you know what I mean. I feel younger than my age.

Does anyone deal with this or know how to handle it?

And Please, I know there are more Important things going on it the world than this. I do not need or want any nasty comments please!

Thank you!

Re: No Compliments

Group 5 minus 1 — Mon, 19 Mar 2018 17:51:03 GMT

One of the Q's selling tricks is to tell us that we will get lots of compliments!

If that is important to you than you should be around people give those out.

Re: No Compliments

QVCkitty1 — Mon, 19 Mar 2018 17:52:29 GMT

I love giving compliments, and never hesitate when I think someone looks nice or if they are wearing a lovely scent. I also know otherwise nice people who wouldn't give a compliment to save their life. I guess you just have to have enough self confidence to not need the extra boost.

Re: No Compliments

NicksmomESQ — Mon, 19 Mar 2018 18:05:16 GMT

You are the only one that can truly make you feel good. Dress to please yourself.Fix your hair to please yourself. Walk out the door feeling beautiful & confident!! Be the best you that you possibly can.Nothing else really matters!!

Re: No Compliments

Nitefall — Mon, 19 Mar 2018 18:09:02 GMT

Welcome to my world! I find once you pass a certain age the compliments STOP, it's age and a fact of life, sorry to say. So I DO feel your pain.

Re: No Compliments

NycVixen — Mon, 19 Mar 2018 18:09:06 GMT

I don't think this has anything to do with age. I'm young and there are plenty of times it feels like no one notices or I haven't received a compliment in a long time.

I don't think there is anything wrong with you but I do believe that once in a while it's a good idea to do a refresh of one's lifestyle and look. I would consider a wardrobe change and enhanced skincare to make your skin glow. Exercise and focus on being healthier and it will come through. Feel blessed that nothing has changed in your appearance per se to make you feel insecure.

Try adding some highlights to your hair that look natural. I only have them on the top layer of my hair and it makes a big difference. I've had strangers say something about them just walking down the street. I have a modern asymmetrical chin length cut and I now get way more compliments than before from people. A great cut gets noticed.

Lastly, think about all the blessings you have and let that happiness come through.

Re: No Compliments

I am still oxox — Mon, 19 Mar 2018 18:11:56 GMT

Whoa, my confidence comes from ME not the way others react to me

Re: No Compliments

ItsME — Mon, 19 Mar 2018 18:12:59 GMT

@HouseMouse .... your bunny pic is adorable!

As for compliments about your appearance, clothes, etc. I've never seen you, so can't offer suggestions. But, just dress and make yourself up in ways that make you feel good. Don't worry about what anyone else says or doesn't say!

Just a quick and funny story... I have contemporary taste. I don't expect everyone to like it, and I don't care... I love it! Years ago, I got new living room furniture, and I emailed pictures to four friends. None of them shares in my contemporary preference. One wrote back something to the effect "I love it! You're very brave!" Once just wrote that she loved it, and I believe that she did, but she'd never put it in her house. The other two just wrote back something like "You must be happy to have new furniture." I loved the responses! It didn't matter that it wasn't for them. I have to live with it, and it makes me happy!

It was the sofa, and a matching loveseat.... the loveseat has been tossed (sadly)... it was damaged by termites (which were fortunately no where else in the house!!!).

Re: No Compliments

GenXmuse — Mon, 19 Mar 2018 18:13:03 GMT

I totally understand but maybe people feel you don’t need complimenting because you’re confident and self-assured.

I would have died under a rock if I had to go there because of fewer compliments.

This bend in the road may be temporary or a lesson to dig deeper inside. You may get complimented on your outlook and beautiful attitude and demeanor. 😊

Re: No Compliments

Goldengate8361 — Mon, 19 Mar 2018 18:13:46 GMT

@HouseMouse I could have written your post myself. I feel exactly the same way. It’s weird....it’s almost like people think compliments are just for younger women. I’m learning to compliment myself, but it’s not exactly the same thing.

Re: No Compliments

Imaoldhippie — Mon, 19 Mar 2018 18:14:00 GMT

Maybe you need new friends?! It could possibly be jealousy? You look great and maybe they think you look better than them, so no compliments. Dress for you and you know you look good, so hold your head up and out class them all.

Re: No Compliments

MalteseMomma — Mon, 19 Mar 2018 18:21:05 GMT

@Nitefallwrote:
Welcome to my world! I find once you pass a certain age the compliments STOP, it's age and a fact of life, sorry to say. So I DO feel your pain.

@Nitefall

omg,I am 80 and that is so not true!

But I would like to agree with another poster on this thread,be yourself,dress,look ,wear what you like,live whatever way makes you happy , you will glow and get so many compliments ,because your joy will shine through!!!

Do not be so needy that you feed on ,grow on, and live for compliments from others,life is much too short for that !!!

I really am sorry that that matters so much to you!

Re: No Compliments

maggi the cat — Mon, 19 Mar 2018 18:27:02 GMT

I often feel the same way you do. I think it's partly the world we live in today. People don't seem to value good grooming as much as in the past. Just look around and you can see that a lot of folks don't even look in the mirror before they leave the house. Also, I am older than you are, and I think as you age, invisibility appears, and a lot of people who are older are less interested in appearances. I don't know, but I feel what you feel, and I know that other than being older, I haven't changed my grroming and looking nice. I think it's silly when people tell you to change things. You don't need to change to try to get compliments.

Re: No Compliments

SXMGirl — Mon, 19 Mar 2018 18:29:01 GMT

I do try to give compliments where I can. However, I do think when it comes to ourselves, we can be the first to give ourselves compliments. When you look in the mirror, tell yourself that you look beautiful, or that outfit makes you look great.

Also, sometimes people say things that we do not realize are compliments. For example, my friend, who is also my hairdresser, was telling me about someone who she felt needed to take better care of her skin, unlike us. That is a compliment without telling me that I take good care of my skin.

When you have a situation and someone needs your age and they tell you that you look younger, take that as a compliment and not that they have no idea what people your age really look like.

I think if you really listen to the words people say that you will find that you are complimented more than you realize. Or, at least I hope so.

Re: No Compliments

ALRATIBA — Mon, 19 Mar 2018 18:31:13 GMT

You need to find something unique about yourself and play it up!

I make original knit and crochet sweaters and coats, and assorted accessory items. People (men and women) frequently stop me on the street to comment. Someone just recently asked to take a picture.

I'm 75, and when I'm not using or wearing one of my "creations" .... I'm invisible.

Re: No Compliments

mollymaggie — Mon, 19 Mar 2018 18:42:45 GMT

There are many things important in life but right now you are the important one You are lacking self worth whether it be in your mind or not This is my idea Go to a new hair stylist Someone younger and ask her for a new hair stye One that you can handle Go a little different in the color Maybe a few streaks of blonde Nothing drastic Next go get your make up done by someone See what you think Now get out of your normal outfits and buy a lori top Not tons of ruffles just cool maybe shark or high low etc No classic old lady styles Those clothes look rich and high end but we want new Im just assuming you are middle age and if you are younger better Your friends see the same well dressed lady with the same well groomed hair in the same high end clothes so they just asume you know you look good but now you go out and they will be blown away and so will you I am 65 too thin wrinkles skinny arms and legs so I buy clothes that will help all of these issues I change my hair all the time buy qvcs clothes that are in style and new but still dont shout out Old lady trying to be young I wish you could see my friends in my age group No make up if they arent going anywhere not one bit of new style etc I have never gone downstairs in the morning without make up I get my nails done every 2 weeks and my toes every 2 months for me I know it is winter but I see them Am I a beauty NO NO NO but I work with my stick arms and legs I try to deal with my wrinkles but I try in every way I can to be seen as a lady in change all of the time Please tell me what you think I wish we could do this together I think I will go get my make up done today and I would like to tell you that I am hip enough to buy todays jeans with the distressedslits but I hate the look for my age We have to know where to draw the line Maybe you could do the look because you would sure look new

Re: No Compliments

Kitlynn — Mon, 19 Mar 2018 18:50:42 GMT

Everyone no matter what age you are loves to get compliments. Maybe you should compliment others and then they will come back with a compliment for you too. Now you may already do that but I do know that some people think if someone never compliments someone else then they aren't going to compliment them.

Re: No Compliments

Rockycoast — Mon, 19 Mar 2018 18:51:02 GMT

Age has nothing to do with it. I'm 62 and I still recieve compliments on my appearance/clothes/shoes, how nicely mannered my kids are, etc. But, I also give many compliments to my friends and family. I've given compliments to people I dont even know for a pretty dress they were wearing or their perfume. What goes around, comes around. Even if I didn't receive compliments, I doubt it would bother me. I don't define my self worth by what others think. I enjoy their company, just being with others is enough.

Re: No Compliments

qbetzforreal — Mon, 19 Mar 2018 19:00:02 GMT

I never really thought about it. Sometimes people pay a compliment and sometimes they don't. I don't keep track. I know when I'm looking good and when I'm looking like Death eating a soda cracker (like right now). I do know if I see something that is pleasing to my eye, I tell the person, even if they are a stranger.

Re: No Compliments

IMW — Mon, 19 Mar 2018 19:06:29 GMT

I think as women get older they become “invisible “.

I have experienced this myself. I started to feel it when I was maybe 50. Now I’ve adjusted and don’t expect it.

When I do get compliments it is a pleasant surprise.

I have learned to treat myself very very well, that helps a lot.

If the low self esteem really troubles you, you might consider therapy, to help get you over the hump.

Good Luck.