topic Re: Update story from one year ago in Among Friends

Update story from one year ago

jacnit — Wed, 02 Sep 2015 15:59:59 GMT

over a year ago I posted on here about my son and new daughter-in-law...that they had married privately and then about the huge debackle over the party being thrown in their honor and all the ins and outs of that...much drama...I think many of you will remember the whole thing as it got a lot of attention...most were kind and gentle even if they did not agree with me..a few not so much. So the update is they celebrated their one year anniversary, everything seemed fine, all relationships among the family seem that they were mended although, my mothers intuition continued to leave me a little unsettled. In June, my daughter in law invited me to lunch with her as we had done prior to their marrying and since (once everyone ironed out the wrinkles)...she informed me at lunch that she had "lost herself" being married and was leaving my son. He had bought a home for them 6 months before they got married and she felt he was to "into" the house, remodeling, repairing,etc...she did not like the "constraints" of home ownership, was not ready to give up girls night out and that kind of stuff...anyway, it was sad, he was devastated but is now at a point after counseling that he's questioning whether it should have ever happened to begin with...my heart broke for both of them actually Anyway, I was on the beauty board this morning and just thought I would update those of you that so kindly gave me support at the beginning...no, I have not ever mentioned or reminded him that something just felt "off", you know that still small voice that says something is just not right, I can see in his eyes he understands now. Hope you're all doing well and ready for Fall...jackie

Re: Update story from one year ago

lulu2 — Wed, 02 Sep 2015 16:46:44 GMT

jacnit, I do remember your posts and am sorry to read the update. On the other hand, be glad your DIL decided she wanted out before there were children involved.

Re: Update story from one year ago

Kitlynn — Wed, 02 Sep 2015 17:35:44 GMT

It is always sad when a couple doesn't get the Happy Ever After and it really does have an effect on both families. I am sorry for them and I hope they both find the right person to share their life with in the future.

Re: Update story from one year ago

I am still oxox — Wed, 02 Sep 2015 17:51:13 GMT

How old are they, sounds like she needed to grow up before making the commitment to marriage

@jacnit wrote:
over a year ago I posted on here about my son and new daughter-in-law...that they had married privately and then about the huge debackle over the party being thrown in their honor and all the ins and outs of that...much drama...I think many of you will remember the whole thing as it got a lot of attention...most were kind and gentle even if they did not agree with me..a few not so much. So the update is they celebrated their one year anniversary, everything seemed fine, all relationships among the family seem that they were mended although, my mothers intuition continued to leave me a little unsettled. In June, my daughter in law invited me to lunch with her as we had done prior to their marrying and since (once everyone ironed out the wrinkles)...she informed me at lunch that she had "lost herself" being married and was leaving my son. He had bought a home for them 6 months before they got married and she felt he was to "into" the house, remodeling, repairing,etc...she did not like the "constraints" of home ownership, was not ready to give up girls night out and that kind of stuff...anyway, it was sad, he was devastated but is now at a point after counseling that he's questioning whether it should have ever happened to begin with...my heart broke for both of them actually Anyway, I was on the beauty board this morning and just thought I would update those of you that so kindly gave me support at the beginning...no, I have not ever mentioned or reminded him that something just felt "off", you know that still small voice that says something is just not right, I can see in his eyes he understands now. Hope you're all doing well and ready for Fall...jackie

Re: Update story from one year ago

Lilysmom — Wed, 02 Sep 2015 19:54:47 GMT

@jacnit, do you find it strange that she was the one to deliver this news to you and not your son? Seems a bit odd to me. Sorry it didn't work out. Maybe it's for the best in the longer term. They are both young and no children are involved. Best wishes for your son. LM

Re: Update story from one year ago

Allegheny — Wed, 02 Sep 2015 20:25:58 GMT

Jackie, I remember your posts from before. I am sorry for the pain and grief you are all experiencing. I know you love them both dearly. I say this quietly and respectfully, "this too shall pass". And though it may not seem like it now, your son will love greatly again.

Re: Update story from one year ago

KarenQVC — Wed, 02 Sep 2015 22:13:12 GMT

Honestly, you went through so much at the beginning of that marriage! The bride and her family were such control freaks and you and your husband just had to stand back. Just thank goodness they will all be out of your lives. They will find someone else to boss around.

Re: Update story from one year ago

jacnit — Wed, 02 Sep 2015 23:11:35 GMT

exactly my first thought and what I said to both of them

Re: Update story from one year ago

jacnit — Wed, 02 Sep 2015 23:12:41 GMT

thank you...I hope so too...I hope they take their time and work out their kinks before they move on.

Re: Update story from one year ago

jacnit — Wed, 02 Sep 2015 23:15:37 GMT

my son was 32 and she was 30...that was really my fear all along that she was such, I don't want to say a party girl really because she was/is not out of control with that aspect but she is very outgoing, loves big crowds, the big city, etc,etc..he's more of a hard working..sometimes needs to lighten up with it type, saves his money, homebody..don't get me wrong...they are both beautiful people but really opposites.

Re: Update story from one year ago

jacnit — Wed, 02 Sep 2015 23:20:41 GMT

I think she was concerned his side of the family would ban her & since we had always been close she felt she needed to be upfront with me...I came home and talked with my husband and based on what had happened before I decided not to call him,etc and get involved...obviously, they were having problems and he understood it was bad but he was caught off guard when she woke up one day and said this is it..i'm outta here today...I don't believe he really thought she would ever up and leave so he would never had brought it up to us. I hope that answers your question...there was SO much drama attached to the entire thing I left that lunch almost shaking...I wasn't sure what I should do.

Re: Update story from one year ago

jacnit — Wed, 02 Sep 2015 23:21:53 GMT

thank you so much...actually, I have told him a few times that very quote....I keep reassuring him that he'll find the right love probably when he least expects it.

Re: Update story from one year ago

jacnit — Wed, 02 Sep 2015 23:24:52 GMT

Yeah, we kept our mouths shut eventually and it was really hard to do. We (the entire family) have reached out to her telling her we love her, we wish her the best,etc...can you believe not ONE person in her family, not even her parents, have reached out to my son...I have asked him several times and he says "nope" and I just let it be...silence says it all I think. They were weird

Re: Update story from one year ago

Bird mama — Thu, 03 Sep 2015 00:17:51 GMT

@jacnit

Oh boy Jacnit - I didn't see that coming when I first starting to read the thread. I remember the thread last year and I am sincerely sorry that this is the outcome, one year later.

Re: Update story from one year ago

RedTop — Thu, 03 Sep 2015 00:20:29 GMT

This was indeed a very sad situation for all involved. However, I am a firm believer in things happening the way they do for a reason, and obviously these two just were not meant to be together at this stage of their lives. I know hearts are broken, because promises were broken, but their lives will go on. I have been married for 41 years to the polar opposite of me, so I well know opposites do attract, and marriage can work when both people are committed, and have the same vision.

Re: Update story from one year ago

jacnit — Thu, 03 Sep 2015 11:51:41 GMT

absolutely agree

Re: Update story from one year ago

jacnit — Thu, 03 Sep 2015 11:53:45 GMT

unfortunately I was not shocked because it just always felt "off" for lack of a better word..I could not honestly put my finger on what it was but it felt wrong to me...still very sad though but they will be survive and move on hopefully to their happily ever after.

Re: Update story from one year ago

jubilant — Thu, 03 Sep 2015 12:09:44 GMT

I seem to remember this story and am sorry that things didn't work out. I know right now of several similar situations where one spouse wants out. Some claim to be "free spirits" and say that marriage stifles them. Some stay out till wee hours of the morning and think their husbands should "understand"....meanwhile the kids are home crying because mommy is not home and it's 3 am. She can't be bothered during her fun time so her cell phone is turned off, of course. The kids and her husband think something bad has happened to her. How sad for these children.

I am not happy to hear this happened to your son, but, from what I understand, there were no children involved..... and for that, you can be thankful. Maybe this was a "blessing in disquise" in a way. I pray his wounds will continue to heal and he will find peace and happiness the more time passes.

Re: Update story from one year ago

AnikaBrodie — Thu, 03 Sep 2015 16:05:34 GMT

Jackie ... I remember this story and the secret marriage ceremony (without you or DH) followed by a lavish "reception/party" planned and funded solely by her parents without input from you or your son. I'm sorry this was the outcome after a year but perhaps it was doomed from the start. I wonder how much interference her mother added to the situation. Based on her mother's earlier (i.e., reception) decisions I feel she may have a domineering personality which may well have reflected on your DIL's actions and subsequent decisions.

I hope your son takes his time in seeking a new serious relationship. By that I mean many months (if not longer) in getting involved with someone, and allowing himself time to heal from what he assumed would be a long-term marriage. He deserves to be happy and fulfilled and that will come; however, it would be good for him to tread the waters lightly in finding that someone. My best thoughts go out to your son. ~~ AB

Re: Update story from one year ago

Chrystaltree2 — Thu, 03 Sep 2015 17:22:18 GMT

I remember your post too; it's a sad and unfortunate story. Your son will get over the hurt and disappointment and find the woman he was always supposed to build a life with. This girl, wasn't "the one" for him. It sounds like the young woman simply wasn't ready for marriage and to be fair to her; perhaps she felt neglected and alone if her new husband spent all of his free time renovating a house. A house that she might not even consider to be hers, since he bought it before they were married. Some things are just not meant to be.