topic Re: Anyone have luck with online dating sites?? in Among Friends

Anyone have luck with online dating sites??

qvc chick — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 16:16:03 GMT

I am in my mid 50's, and divorced for a number of years. My only daughter is about to move out on her own, and I am not used to living alone...

Would love to try out one of the dating sites....I am hearing good things about Match.com, also E-Harmony.

Anyone tried these sites? What one do you prefer? Any luck meeting someone?

Please - let me know your ideas! This is all very new to me.

Re: Anyone have luck with online dating sites??

nycgrl — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 16:34:20 GMT

I'll be quite honest with you. I am in the same situation and I tried e-harmony and was stood up by the guy that I was supposed to meet. The next day a friend of mine who I told where I was going and with whom, called me to tell me that person was on the front page of the newspaper when he was arrested. I reported it to e-harmony and asked for a refund. As for match (and plenty of fish) - I have many friends who have had success and others that have tried for years. It seems to me that the same guys are on all the dating sites and depending on where you live and what you want, there are a lot of players that you really need to weed through. I have given up, but that doesn't mean you should. I know a lot of now happily married people who have met online, it just wasn't my experience. I prefer the old fashioned way and the instant of knowing whether there is chemistry or not.

Re: Anyone have luck with online dating sites??

Catlady Nicole — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 16:36:43 GMT

My experience was disappointing, but I think it had a lot to do with my age when I tried dating sites. I was in my late 20's - early 30's and any man I chatted with, or even got as far as meeting for coffee or dinner was not ultimately interested in me. I wasn't supermodel skinny, and I guess not beautiful enough for them. I like to think I'm a really nice gal, with moderately good looks, but I never seem to "fit" their wish list. Perhaps I wasn't being entirely honest with myself about who I was when I wrote my profile. Maybe I didn't know yet. I've really evolved in the last 10 years, and I do think I know who I am now.

I will caution you on using dating sites to meet people because you aren't used to living alone. I made the choice to live with someone pretty much for that reason, and I can tell you, those were the most wasted years of my life. I wasn't yet comfortable being alone either, and I wish I'd had the bravery to just try it. (I posted on your other thread about your daughter moving out, and mentioned this I think). Once I finally became at peace with who I am, and proud of myself, my life truly changed for the better. So, I say, take this time to learn to really enjoy your own company. Sure, get out, date, try new things, meet new people, but don't forget to embrace you. I know it's not for everyone, but I encourage you to give it a go

I hope I didn't get way off topic with my post. Best wishes to you!

Re: Anyone have luck with online dating sites??

sweetee2 — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 16:57:13 GMT

My son went in POF. Within a few days someone contact ed him. They have been

texting none stop 24 hrs a day for quite a few weeks. She keep complaining about what a POS her phone was. Nexted it was "if I only had a lap top I could see you while we are talking " . She lives in a state nexted to us. He said you send me the money and I will send it to you. She only had 2 hundred dollars. He gave her the rest. She wouldn't give him her address. He had to mail it to her cousin house. Yesterday she sent home pictures all day . He texted her after work, "Did you get the laptop today?. She said no. He said he was going to check tracking to see if it was delivered. I told her it was delivered at 12 o'clock yesterday. Haven't heard from her since. He's devastated. We tried to warn him about this happening. He wouldn't listen. WORNING When they start asking for money or anything else it's a scam. It's called Catfishing and it real. P.S. She wanted IPhone 7 also.

Re: Anyone have luck with online dating sites??

hoosieroriginal — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 17:08:20 GMT

Be careful of scammers on those sites looking for vulnerable women. If they say they are stuck overseas and need money - run - don't end up on Dr. Phil! Ha!

Re: Anyone have luck with online dating sites??

software — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 17:17:16 GMT

You seem naive. Unless you are very good at reading people, I wouldn't do it. You would be better off becoming active in your community, church, whatever. If you are looking for someone because you don't want to be alone, that's not a good reason.

After my divorce (I did re-marry & hubby passed away, alone again) I joined up with a great singles church group. I wasn't looking for a relationship, just didn't want to stay home every night. Some of the singles hooked up and a few were only there to hunt a partner. The one guy I almost decided to date ended up in prison, LOL. Whew, dodged that bullet!

There are so many predators out there, so if you are sharp enough, mature enough go for it. I would say about half the guys looking for a date are married. Be careful, these sites want you to be believe it's all rose petals and dew drops, it's not.

@qvc chick

Re: Anyone have luck with online dating sites??

MalteseMomma — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 23:40:10 GMT

Many,many years ago, (over 20) when computers were new, I met 3 men online. I I met them in a AOL chat room.Widow and widowers chat room. They were from my immediate area.Very near me only the next town . We went on a few dates , movies,dinner,lunch,to church together,ect..I never joined a dateing site.

One happened to be a younger guy,recently broke up marriage and i told him to go home to his wife ,which he did...lol. None of the dates ever became s**ual.

One guy was in California and we talked for hours (all night long practically) for a yr or more but have never met. We are still online friends.

Another one I dated for over a year , our kids got us together. ..lol .both widowed..lol. That is when I deceided not to bother anymore because it took me all day to get ready to go out at night..lol and it wasted my time...lol..and I missed my fav tv shows Like I said I am a loner and like to be home.lol I hated leaving my dog and we (my dog and I) would jump for joy when he finally left to go home.....lol

Always meet in a public place ,like your local dinner for coffee, in broad daylight,first.

It never amounted to anything because I am really am a stay at home ,loner at heart. But we have remained very good friends all these years. We e-mail ,talk on Fb , exchange christmas cards,ect. One guy passes my home daily on his way grocery shopping and asks if I need anything.One has since moved to Fla but we still remain friends and chat.....lol all were my own age and widowed. I never dated a divorced man,did not want to compete with a wife...lol. I like living alone,I can eat choc cake for dinner if I want to.........

I doubt I would ever do that again. I consider myself lucky now when I think about it......lol oh, one guy I met at an Audobon meeting .We went bird watching a few times ,but one night he seemed to be taking me home the "dark" way. I got scared and never saw him again......lol

My advice is to join something you like,meet people there,get to know them and take it from there. volunteering helps to meet people too. Good luck to you and keep in mind to be careful.

Re: Anyone have luck with online dating sites??

gmkb — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 17:41:57 GMT

I think the person who advised enjoying your time living alone and getting comfortable with yourself gave you good advice. Some guy who is a virtual stranger is not a good replacement for your daughter leaving the home.

I have known several women who used these sights and failed to meet a suitable male.

One women I know uses E harmony as a way to meet men half her age. She has no interest in long term, so it works for her. She has wealth, the guys have youth.

Another woman I know is very healthy, active, into sports and dancing. Also she is tall. She wanted to meet a similar man. When he showed up at the restaurant, he was about 5'5" and overweight.

Re: Anyone have luck with online dating sites??

riley1 — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 17:46:17 GMT

@qvc chick - if the only reason you are going on a dating site is because you are not comfortable being alone, you are doing it for all the wrong reasons, IMO.

You need to learn who you are first and need to experience some time alone and figure out how you can grow as a person and learn to do things for yourself (not depending on anyone else).

I would think some online sites are better than others, however, you must be very careful about giving out too much information. I've heard good/bad things about both sites you mentioned.

Re: Anyone have luck with online dating sites??

Barbara-QVC — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 18:02:23 GMT

This post has been removed by QVC because it is inappropriate.

Re: Anyone have luck with online dating sites??

Caligurll — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 18:16:43 GMT

@nycgrl wrote:
I'll be quite honest with you. I am in the same situation and I tried e-harmony and was stood up by the guy that I was supposed to meet. The next day a friend of mine who I told where I was going and with whom, called me to tell me that person was on the front page of the newspaper when he was arrested. I reported it to e-harmony and asked for a refund. As for match (and plenty of fish) - I have many friends who have had success and others that have tried for years. It seems to me that the same guys are on all the dating sites and depending on where you live and what you want, there are a lot of players that you really need to weed through. I have given up, but that doesn't mean you should. I know a lot of now happily married people who have met online, it just wasn't my experience. I prefer the old fashioned way and the instant of knowing whether there is chemistry or not.

That's really a close call! Fortunate for you he was arrested before you met up with him. The same thing happened (or she thought it did) to Meg Ryan in You've Got Mail when she went on a blind date to meet Tom Hanks' character.

Re: Anyone have luck with online dating sites??

blackhole99 — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 18:18:01 GMT

I think you can meet people online, but you have to keep it fairly local. I think it's too much of a hassle to have a relationship with someone in another state. My friend actually married someone she met online years ago who lived in a town close to her. My son dated a darling girl for almost a year he met on POF. My son was only interested in dating and not marriage though.

Re: Anyone have luck with online dating sites??

Goodie2shoes — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 18:21:37 GMT

I had to smile when I saw this post. Let me tell you, I am 66, retired last year and I have met the most amazing man on a dating website. We have been dating for 8 months now and truly in love. I dated a few guys on the website, one gave me a story that his parents were about to lose their home so I told him good luck in saving it and I was out. I dated a guy who had no furniture in his home and was a momma's boy (not the guy for me) I dated a guy who I soon found out was being sued for non payment of a car loan and his car was repossesed ( found that out by looking him up on a court case website) so I dumped him. The man I have now respects me, loves me unconditionally, takes me to dinner, cooks for me, opens doors for me and he is very stable in his life and finances. We laugh, enjoy being with each other, have never argued about anything. He is laid back, says I am the boss and oh yeah ! he is 5 years younger than me. He goes to church every Sunday as do I. Found my soul mate for sure, makes me smile everyday. I even took a flight to Virginia with him (he paid for everything, stayed 5 days, beach side hotel ) met his children. I have met his brother and sister, went to my first superbowl parties (2) this past weekend where he introduced me to his fraternity members and their wives. He tells me he is very happy. Sorry for the long post but I had to tell about my blessing

Re: Anyone have luck with online dating sites??

qvc chick — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 18:35:32 GMT

First of all, I would hardly call myself naive. I grew up in NYC, lived there most of my life, and have been working for 40 plus years.

I was married for over 25 years, and we divorced several years ago. So I have been on my own for several years.

My thing was....I put off dating while my daughter was younger....we do so much stuff together, and now that she is moving out, I feel like it is MY time.

So I never dated, but always wanted to get my feet wet. I am very social, go out quite a bit with friends, but there doesn't seem to be anyone out there to meet.

So I decided that, once my daughter left, I would start concentrating on my life.

Re: Anyone have luck with online dating sites??

LonestarBabs — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 19:07:02 GMT

try It's Just Lunch. 2 of my friends ended up meeting their spouses and have been very happy. No risk. They felt very comfortable.

Keep your guard up. Being alone isn't so bad, but just don't get desperate about it.

Re: Anyone have luck with online dating sites??

RespectLife — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 19:14:37 GMT

My sister was widowed young after many years of a happy marriage. She moved to be near her daughters and grandchildren. It didn't take long that being the 'alone' person at events started to bother her. She has a successful career and can certainly take care of herself.

She met a wonderful widower on a Christian site (not mingle). Took it slow but after 2 years, married. She is extremely happy. She mentioned not all guys on any Christian site are really Christian. LOTS of creeps.

My dear friend divorced after many years of marriage. Was SO thrilled to be on her own. Again, after a while...being alone (although very happy with her life) was getting too much. She also met someone online and married again (even though she said she never would!) after 2 years also.

There are happy stories!

Re: Anyone have luck with online dating sites??

GCR18 — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 19:30:46 GMT

I haven't tried it, but know two guys that were on match. Neither had children and met up with women that had two children. Both are happy as can be.

Re: Anyone have luck with online dating sites??

LTT1 — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 19:57:36 GMT

@qvc chick

I know a couple of couples LOL who met in this way.

For various reasons, they had not "found" their soulmates yet, and were wanting/needing some type of social life.

It is what you make it... suggestions from those "in the know" here about the pitfalls are worth considering.

The internet dating scene, IMO, is a great way to meet people! Wishing you fun!

Re: Anyone have luck with online dating sites??

hondagirl — Tue, 07 Feb 2017 20:38:51 GMT

I did online daing many years ago. Had several dates but none of them came to anything. It was a good learning experience for me since I was newly divorced and had not dated in years... When I was online with the guy we would email for a week or so and then talk on the phone. Felt better when we finally met at a casual place. So have fun with it and you will see who the frogs are and who is a prince.

Re: Anyone have luck with online dating sites??

sandraskates — Wed, 08 Feb 2017 04:15:23 GMT

A now retired co-worker signed on to Plenty of Fish. It was fun to hear her dating adventures and I loved "dating vicariously" through her tales.
While some of the men she met were literally scary or bums, she did have at least 3 relationships that lasted at least 1 year.

I was pretty sure she was going to sail away with a boat captain that she met on POF, but they broke up. Last time I bumped into her she'd met someone else on the site but I haven't seen her in a few years so I don't know her current status.

Be careful. Talk first. If you decide to meet that person make sure it's in a public place and that you have your own way back home should you get a bad vibe.