topic Re: Funeral Viewing Question in Among Friends

Funeral Viewing Question

Allegheny — Mon, 30 Jan 2017 15:09:12 GMT

I am curious about something and would like to get understanding from others.

For example, say your sister passes. She is local, married with grown children and grown grandchildren. Would you feel that as sibling you need or it is your place to be present for the entire time of both visitation periods.

I know this probably is a personal preference, but just would like to know others experiences.

I really don't have much experience in this, my mother passed before most of her siblings and I can't remember much from my father's family. Just to preface, this is not my sibling that passed.

Re: Funeral Viewing Question

GCR18 — Mon, 30 Jan 2017 15:08:07 GMT

Yes

Re: Funeral Viewing Question

Allegheny — Mon, 30 Jan 2017 15:10:47 GMT

@GCR18

Thank you. I appreciate you sharing.

Re: Funeral Viewing Question

DrKelli — Mon, 30 Jan 2017 15:17:36 GMT

I would agree that the family needs to be present for all hours of the viewing. It is also a time for people to express condolences and share memories with the family. Most viewings are only a couple of hours at a time.

Re: Funeral Viewing Question

depglass — Mon, 30 Jan 2017 15:22:19 GMT

Unless this is a hardship, absolutely. People who know your loved one through you will wonder why you are not there. If you have flown to a distant location and no one knows you even exist, that's different.

Re: Funeral Viewing Question

jubilant — Mon, 30 Jan 2017 15:28:07 GMT

Yes, if your health permits it and your presence is wanted.

Re: Funeral Viewing Question

pupwhipped — Mon, 30 Jan 2017 15:45:55 GMT

I think you said it best already...it's a personal preference. There are no hard and fast rules. And family situations are all so very different...and complicated.

Re: Funeral Viewing Question

happygolfcartrider — Mon, 30 Jan 2017 15:49:52 GMT

@Allegheny wrote:
I am curious about something and would like to get understanding from others.

For example, say your sister passes. She is local, married with grown children and grown grandchildren. Would you feel that as sibling you need or it is your place to be present for the entire time of both visitation periods.

I know this probably is a personal preference, but just would like to know others experiences.

I really don't have much experience in this, my mother passed before most of her siblings and I can't remember much from my father's family. Just to preface, this is not my sibling that passed.

You mention both visitations? Why are there two.

I do think that a sibling should be present unless there are circumstances that prevent it.

Re: Funeral Viewing Question

qualitygal — Mon, 30 Jan 2017 15:53:19 GMT

If it were my sister, I'd be there for her immediate family to receive visitors. Our family is small, but we know a lot of the same people. There's usually only 1-2 visits before the funeral anyway. Some people that know her, we knew from childhood and her Immed. Family may not know them. I think for those who take the time to come and pay their respects, should be met by a family member. That's my feelings on it. If her Immed. family needed my help on something, I'd want to be there for them.

Re: Funeral Viewing Question

circles — Mon, 30 Jan 2017 16:04:03 GMT

My response will not be met with favor...but our family all of us...are being cremated right after our death..no viewing...

We all keep in touch with one another all the time..so there is no need to sit for a day or two till being buried or cremated...

Before my aunt died she said she wanted to be cremated immediately...she said if people didn't come and see me when i was alive...i don't want them viewing me after i am dead..

All of us feel the same....

Re: Funeral Viewing Question

cherry — Mon, 30 Jan 2017 16:06:18 GMT

Do what makes you feel right. Only you know, all this ins and outs ,of your situation

Re: Funeral Viewing Question

pattypeep — Mon, 30 Jan 2017 16:07:53 GMT

@Allegheny When my mother passed, we did not feel it necessary to stay with her while people visited. We felt that some people may want time alone and may feel uncomfortable with others in the room.

Re: Funeral Viewing Question

KathyPet — Mon, 30 Jan 2017 16:13:47 GMT

@happygolfcartrider wrote:
@Allegheny wrote:
I am curious about something and would like to get understanding from others.

For example, say your sister passes. She is local, married with grown children and grown grandchildren. Would you feel that as sibling you need or it is your place to be present for the entire time of both visitation periods.

I know this probably is a personal preference, but just would like to know others experiences.

I really don't have much experience in this, my mother passed before most of her siblings and I can't remember much from my father's family. Just to preface, this is not my sibling that passed.
You mention both visitations? Why are there two.
I do think that a sibling should be present unless there are circumstances that prevent it.

IT is up to the family to decide how many visitations there are but I have been to many where where the family has two separate times on the same day. Often from 2-4 or 3-5 and then again from 7-9 for those who cannot come during the day.

Re: Funeral Viewing Question

ValuSkr — Mon, 30 Jan 2017 16:15:07 GMT

You don't need to be there the whole time. I'd make an appearance both days and let it go at that. People may ask "where was Jane," but others will answer "she was here earlier" and then they'll forget about it.

Re: Funeral Viewing Question

qvcfreak — Mon, 30 Jan 2017 16:15:52 GMT

For me it wouldn't even be a question. That's my sister and nothing could keep me away.

Re: Funeral Viewing Question

RedTop — Mon, 30 Jan 2017 16:17:36 GMT

For me personally it depends on how close I was to the deceased. For most of my immediate family I have stayed. However I chose not to attend the funerals of an uncle and 2 cousins who lived in this town, due to the fact we were not close, and I had not seen them, in many years. I have not attended several funerals of my husbands close relatives, due to family drama.

My mom and dad did not attend the funerals of 2 of his sisters. They had created a lot of family drama, and dad distanced himself from them years before their deaths. Like my dad, if I haven't been particularly close to the deceased while they were living, the fact that we are "family" does not guilt me into attending their funeral.

Re: Funeral Viewing Question

cerb — Mon, 30 Jan 2017 16:19:35 GMT

May I ask a sincere question? I have never, in my 57 years attended a viewing or visitation. They don't seem to occur in my circle of acquaintances. Is this common in a certain part of the country? Or is it common with people of a certain religion or demonination?

Re: Funeral Viewing Question

cherry — Mon, 30 Jan 2017 16:24:07 GMT

It's a Christian thing, and all denominations that I know of ,observe it

Re: Funeral Viewing Question

sunshine45 — Mon, 30 Jan 2017 16:28:03 GMT

YES.......i think it is important to be there for all viewings, the service, graveside service, and gathering afterwards......unless you have a physical disability that would prevent you from being at all of these.

Re: Funeral Viewing Question

Nataliesgramma — Mon, 30 Jan 2017 16:32:11 GMT

Do what feels right and respectful for you...

Whoever sits there and keeps track of who comes and how long they stay are just troublemakers.....