topic Re: Am I too sensitive? in Among Friends

Am I too sensitive?

catmama — Fri, 27 Jan 2017 20:41:12 GMT

Last night I had several women friends over for dinner. This is a monthly tradition and we each take turns. I prepared what I thought was a healthy meal, but the day before 2 of them contacted me and announced they were on special diets, and wouldn't be eating any of the food I would prepare. I had already done my shopping and had some of the dishes prepared. I thought that since they knew we were getting together, the date had been picked in December, that they could have given me more than 1 days notice of their intentions. Not only that, we have wine with our meal and 2 others besides the originals indicated they had given up wine for the month of January. So here I have food that isn't going to be eaten by 2 of them and wine that won't be drank by 4 of them. Food and wine isn't cheap and I was a little put out by their lack of courtesy. Am I overreacting?

Re: Am I too sensitive?

Group 5 minus 1 — Fri, 27 Jan 2017 20:46:43 GMT

A little and your grammar is slightly off. Because I am a "fussy" eater I usually will bring my own food. No one seems to mind. If they do-too bad.

Re: Am I too sensitive?

cherry — Fri, 27 Jan 2017 20:47:17 GMT

I think a day in advance was rude. I have dietary restrictions and I would have told you when you invited me

The wine not so much, some people don't drink. I have never heard of giving up wine for the month of Jan, that sounds strange. If you drink, you usually drink

Re: Am I too sensitive?

brandiwine — Fri, 27 Jan 2017 20:49:59 GMT

A bit. Yes, it would have been thoughtful had they let you know ahead of time. That being said, don't open the wine and save it for another dinner or take it as a hotess gift. Can any of the food or ingredients be frozen? Sometimes people don't look ahead at their calendars until the day before. It's frustrating when you are the host, but not that big a deal.

Re: Am I too sensitive?

Vivian — Fri, 27 Jan 2017 20:50:30 GMT

In my opinion you are not at fault. There are just so many accommodations hosts should be expected to make. Beyond that, it becomes absurd. You are not running a health food restaurant. You do the best you can. I am a lifetime Weight Watchers member. When I've been invited to dinner and I'm watching my diet, I make the best of it. My dietary needs are not the problem of my host. Any accommodation is a favor.

Re: Am I too sensitive?

peace6576 — Fri, 27 Jan 2017 20:54:26 GMT

Really? Criticizing another poster when your post is rife with grammatical errors? Unbelievable.

@ncascade wrote:
A little and your grammar is slightly off. Because I am a "fussy" eater I usually will bring my own food. No one seems to mind. If they do-too bad.

Re: Am I too sensitive?

drizzellla — Fri, 27 Jan 2017 20:56:57 GMT

I think that they certainly didn't give you much warning. To contact you the day before the meal. Especiialy since the date was picked in December. I would have not appreciated the short notice.

But just think - now you have more for you to enjoy.

Re: Am I too sensitive?

ChynnaBlue — Fri, 27 Jan 2017 20:59:10 GMT

I do think they should have told you earlier. Waiting until the day before isn't very thoughtful. The food might be a problem, especially if you'd already prepared some, but unopened wine won't go bad. Keep it for the next time you host, drink it yourself, or take it to someone else's party.

Re: Am I too sensitive?

chickenbutt — Fri, 27 Jan 2017 21:00:28 GMT

I don't see it as an over-reaction. They WERE rude and inconsiderate. I'd be put out, too.

I'm pretty big on manners and common courtesy, though. I will feel disrespected if somebody does something that shows they have no sense of decorum and just selfishly don't consider the feelings of the other person.

Re: Am I too sensitive?

NicksmomESQ — Fri, 27 Jan 2017 21:02:59 GMT

No you're not to sensitive!! This dinner was arranged way ahead of time.These friends should have given you a few weeks notice with regard to their dietary needs!! It's just plain rude not to!!

I entertain too.It takes alot of time, effort, & money!! Guests have informed me of foods they couldn't eat.As a result I've altered my menu.But I was given enough notice!! I also appreciate knowing what my guests like to drink so I can have everyone's beverage of choice on hand.

Re: Am I too sensitive?

Laura14 — Fri, 27 Jan 2017 21:04:01 GMT

I'm with you @catmama.

I really feel and lately especially that I'm living in a different world than everyone else. I really don't know when I traveled away from what I know and landed here.

I think when you accept an invitation especially that far in advance to be a guest in someone's home, you be a guest and be very grateful for what's offered.

Barring a life threatening allergy or medical issue, you say thank you very much to acknowledge your host's time, expense, and effort and enjoy the evening.

Re: Am I too sensitive?

ECBG — Fri, 27 Jan 2017 21:09:06 GMT

Looking at the time frame, both of the ladies were inexcuseablely rude!

Re: Am I too sensitive?

MarkeieMark — Fri, 27 Jan 2017 21:12:57 GMT

Those pesky New Year resolutions. Next time it's your turn, it probably won't be an issue lol. Laugh it off.

Re: Am I too sensitive?

nana59 — Fri, 27 Jan 2017 21:14:09 GMT

I'd be a "no show" when it was their turn to host...

Re: Am I too sensitive?

queendiva — Fri, 27 Jan 2017 21:15:46 GMT

Agreed. Rude and self-centered.

Those who insist on special diets, including (or excluding) wine should offer to host the group for dinner rather than place demands on the hostess. Big difference between accepting someone's hospitality and ordering from a restaurant menu. These ladies do not seem to understand the difference or choose to ignore it.

Re: Am I too sensitive?

Witchy Woman — Fri, 27 Jan 2017 21:15:48 GMT

If it were me, I would just cancel the whole thing, or invite them and serve coffee and tea.

People who wait until the last minute to advise you of such things are just rude.

Maybe it is time to rethink the group dinner with friends like that.

Re: Am I too sensitive?

dex — Fri, 27 Jan 2017 21:18:22 GMT

@cherry My son gives up all alcohol and other foods for January.His church does the Daniel fast and you give up meat,dairy,surger,processed food and alcohol.

Re: Am I too sensitive?

Catty2 — Fri, 27 Jan 2017 21:22:30 GMT

I think it was inconsiderate. The ones who gave up wine and the ones who have dietary restrictions should have mentioned it weeks ago, especially since you get together every month. Or you could have even skipped getting together this month.

Re: Am I too sensitive?

QVCkitty1 — Fri, 27 Jan 2017 21:31:29 GMT

They were extremely rude, it's a symptom of the it's all about me society. If they knew about the dinner since Dec. , they could have given you a decent notice.

Re: Am I too sensitive?

dex — Fri, 27 Jan 2017 21:33:20 GMT

@catmamasince these women are your friends I wouldn't get too upset.They probably didn't realize you were prepping ahead.I would have just told them I had everything ready and if they wanted something different to just bring it along.The wine can always be returned.