topic Re: Public Shaming, Cyberbullies, and the Hive Mind....... in Among Friends

Public Shaming, Cyberbullies, and the Hive Mind.......

Pliqueajour — Mon, 02 Jan 2017 00:41:32 GMT

Fascinating article about social media, online reviews, and more.

It's too long to post it all here, please c&p the link (take the spaces out) or google the article title to get the complete discussion. I'll post the very 1st part here.

!!!!HAPPY 2017😀!!!

http: // annerallen.com/public-shaming-cyberbullies-and-hive/

Public Shaming, Cyberbullies, and the Hive Mind:

Fighting ‘Censorship by Troll’

by Anne R. Allen

"Lots has been written about the pain caused by online bullying of children and teens—and that stuff is horrific—but we don’t hear as much about the cyberbullying that goes on in the adult world.

But cyberbullying can have disastrous consequences, no matter what the victim’s age or social status.

In fact, some people think it’s having a devastating impact on our whole culture.

Welsh journalist Jon Ronson tells us cyberbullying and public shaming in social media are “creating a world where the smartest way to survive is to be bland.”

He fears we’re heading for a dumbed-down world controlled by Internet trolls and cyberbully gangs....."

Re: Public Shaming, Cyberbullies, and the Hive Mind.......

Pliqueajour — Mon, 02 Jan 2017 00:42:07 GMT

These are some of the topic points but they make more sense if you read the article.

Social Media and Public Shaming

Anonymity, Speed of Communication, and the Power of the Hive Mind

Angry Mobs are High on their Own Rage

Scapegoating and Shaming have always been a Road to Power

Public Shaming and Online Reviews

Reviewers and Authors are Equally Victimized

How to Avoid Becoming a Target

Never Participate in Public Shaming

So What Can we do About Cyber-Gangs?

Re: Public Shaming, Cyberbullies, and the Hive Mind.......

Nuttmeg — Sun, 01 Jan 2017 21:31:15 GMT

This is not just an article. It is someone selling a book.

Re: Public Shaming, Cyberbullies, and the Hive Mind.......

Pliqueajour — Sun, 01 Jan 2017 21:41:08 GMT

@Nuttmeg wrote:
This is not just an article. It is someone selling a book.

@Nuttmeg, Hi!

It's the blog written by someone who happens to be an author and she's not writing about her book.

Would it he better if I don't mention the link and just c&p the whole article?

I thought the topic was worth discussing and it was educational for me at least. What do you think about it?

🙂

Re: Public Shaming, Cyberbullies, and the Hive Mind.......

CareBears — Sun, 01 Jan 2017 21:46:50 GMT

@Pliqueajour I am 52 years old, and I am the victim of being bullied as an adult to the point that I almost disappeared, for over a year a person who claimed to be my "Best Friend" bullied me to the point that I lost my will to even get out of bed every day! I lived in constant fear of what "MIGHT" be coming next, and the more that was dished out the further and further I fell.

I could not share this with anyone as I was ashamed of myself for not being able to defend myself, but she had brought be so low I no longer had the will to fight, I could not understand how someone who claimed to love me could be so cruel?

To this day I believe a "Higher Power" picked me up one day and whispered to me that this was not how it was supposed to end for me, one morning I cut all ties with her, changed my phone numbers, left social media, changed my email addresses and eventually moved!

It has been a number of years since this occurred and to this day people close to me do not understand my fear of her finding me, I try to explain it to them but they do not "Get It", and they probably never will. Until you have been bullied most people cannot understand how mentally it changes you, how the fear completely takes over you!

I have pretty much been bullied my whole life, and I ask myself what quality do I have that lets some people think they can do this to me, I may never know, but I do know that there is a reason for ME even if others do not see it, and I refuse to take my last breath being a victim!

So if you see someone being bullied regardless of their age, open your heart and lend them your heart and a helping hand, it may be the only act of kindness that they have been shown in a long time, and you never know, you may be saving them!

Re: Public Shaming, Cyberbullies, and the Hive Mind.......

dooBdoo — Sun, 01 Jan 2017 21:48:11 GMT

This is an excellent, thought-provoking article and it's not a book promotion. Very good food for thought for anyone using the internet.

Thanks for sharing it, @Pliqueajour!

Re: Public Shaming, Cyberbullies, and the Hive Mind.......

Nuttmeg — Sun, 01 Jan 2017 21:51:06 GMT

@Pliqueajour wrote:
@Nuttmeg wrote:
This is not just an article. It is someone selling a book.
@Nuttmeg, Hi!

It's the blog written by someone who happens to be an author.

Would it he better if I don't mention that and just c&p the whole article?

I thought the topic was worth discussing and it was educational for me at least.

I am not certain what QVC's policy is about these things.

Re: Public Shaming, Cyberbullies, and the Hive Mind.......

Pliqueajour — Sun, 01 Jan 2017 21:51:55 GMT

@CareBears wrote:
@Pliqueajour I am 52 years old, and I am the victim of being bullied as an adult to the point that I almost disappeared, for over a year a person who claimed to be my "Best Friend" bullied me to the point that I lost my will to even get out of bed every day! I lived in constant fear of what "MIGHT" be coming next, and the more that was dished out the further and further I fell.

I could not share this with anyone as I was ashamed of myself for not being able to defend myself, but she had brought be so low I no longer had the will to fight, I could not understand how someone who claimed to love me could be so cruel?

To this day I believe a "Higher Power" picked me up one day and whispered to me that this was not how it was supposed to end for me, one morning I cut all ties with her, changed my phone numbers, left social media, changed my email addresses and eventually moved!

It has been a number of years since this occurred and to this day people close to me do not understand my fear of her finding me, I try to explain it to them but they do not "Get It", and they probably never will. Until you have been bullied most people cannot understand how mentally it changes you, how the fear completely takes over you!

I have pretty much been bullied my whole life, and I ask myself what quality do I have that lets some people think they can do this to me, I may never know, but I do know that there is a reason for ME even if others do not see it, and I refuse to take my last breath being a victim!

So if you see someone being bullied regardless of their age, open your heart and lend them your heart and a helping hand, it may be the only act of kindness that they have been shown in a long time, and you never know, you may be saving them!

{{{{{{{{{CareBears}}}}}}}}}

I'm sorry. How awful. Your attitude inspires me. G-d bless you.💖

Re: Public Shaming, Cyberbullies, and the Hive Mind.......

Pliqueajour — Sun, 01 Jan 2017 21:54:36 GMT

@Nuttmeg wrote:
@Pliqueajour wrote:
@Nuttmeg wrote:
This is not just an article. It is someone selling a book.
@Nuttmeg, Hi!

It's the blog written by someone who happens to be an author.

Would it he better if I don't mention that and just c&p the whole article?

I thought the topic was worth discussing and it was educational for me at least.

I am not certain what QVC's policy is about these things.

Do you read the Book Club forum?

If this was about a book ---- which it is not ----- it wouldn't be any different than their book discussions.

I'm sorry my thread offended you.

My goal was to share and help and maybe inform.

Re: Public Shaming, Cyberbullies, and the Hive Mind.......

Pliqueajour — Sun, 01 Jan 2017 21:55:44 GMT

@dooBdoo wrote:

This is an excellent, thought-provoking article and it's not a book promotion. Very good food for thought for anyone using the internet.

Thanks for sharing it, @Pliqueajour!

THanks @dooBdoo!

Re: Public Shaming, Cyberbullies, and the Hive Mind.......

Nuttmeg — Sun, 01 Jan 2017 21:57:50 GMT

@CareBears wrote:
@Pliqueajour I am 52 years old, and I am the victim of being bullied as an adult to the point that I almost disappeared, for over a year a person who claimed to be my "Best Friend" bullied me to the point that I lost my will to even get out of bed every day! I lived in constant fear of what "MIGHT" be coming next, and the more that was dished out the further and further I fell.

I could not share this with anyone as I was ashamed of myself for not being able to defend myself, but she had brought be so low I no longer had the will to fight, I could not understand how someone who claimed to love me could be so cruel?

To this day I believe a "Higher Power" picked me up one day and whispered to me that this was not how it was supposed to end for me, one morning I cut all ties with her, changed my phone numbers, left social media, changed my email addresses and eventually moved!

It has been a number of years since this occurred and to this day people close to me do not understand my fear of her finding me, I try to explain it to them but they do not "Get It", and they probably never will. Until you have been bullied most people cannot understand how mentally it changes you, how the fear completely takes over you!

I have pretty much been bullied my whole life, and I ask myself what quality do I have that lets some people think they can do this to me, I may never know, but I do know that there is a reason for ME even if others do not see it, and I refuse to take my last breath being a victim!

So if you see someone being bullied regardless of their age, open your heart and lend them your heart and a helping hand, it may be the only act of kindness that they have been shown in a long time, and you never know, you may be saving them!

I do hope you have received treatment for your health problems that came with the bullying. There is a gentleman from the UK, that did some pioneering work in this field. His name was Dr. Tim Fields. His foundation is keeping his work alive.

Re: Public Shaming, Cyberbullies, and the Hive Mind.......

151949 — Sun, 01 Jan 2017 22:02:37 GMT

I was just reading on FB about a guy and a girl at a gym who were bullying an old woman who was there working out and then they took her picture in the shower and posted it on social media with degrading captions. Thank goodness , they picked on the wrong old woman - they were arrested for posting the picture and pled guilty.Huge fine and also have to pay damages to the old woman. YEAH. However, for what they did I think they needed to go to jail, plus have to pay the woman damages.

Re: Public Shaming, Cyberbullies, and the Hive Mind.......

dooBdoo — Sun, 01 Jan 2017 22:05:24 GMT

@CareBears wrote:
@Pliqueajour I am 52 years old, and I am the victim of being bullied as an adult to the point that I almost disappeared, for over a year a person who claimed to be my "Best Friend" bullied me to the point that I lost my will to even get out of bed every day! I lived in constant fear of what "MIGHT" be coming next, and the more that was dished out the further and further I fell.

I could not share this with anyone as I was ashamed of myself for not being able to defend myself, but she had brought be so low I no longer had the will to fight, I could not understand how someone who claimed to love me could be so cruel?

To this day I believe a "Higher Power" picked me up one day and whispered to me that this was not how it was supposed to end for me, one morning I cut all ties with her, changed my phone numbers, left social media, changed my email addresses and eventually moved!

It has been a number of years since this occurred and to this day people close to me do not understand my fear of her finding me, I try to explain it to them but they do not "Get It", and they probably never will. Until you have been bullied most people cannot understand how mentally it changes you, how the fear completely takes over you!

I have pretty much been bullied my whole life, and I ask myself what quality do I have that lets some people think they can do this to me, I may never know, but I do know that there is a reason for ME even if others do not see it, and I refuse to take my last breath being a victim!

So if you see someone being bullied regardless of their age, open your heart and lend them your heart and a helping hand, it may be the only act of kindness that they have been shown in a long time, and you never know, you may be saving them!

Gentle (((cyberhugs))), @CareBears. Yours is a cautionary tale, particularly for those who think the topic is unimportant or frivolous. Many of us do "get it." Based on seeing you post in the past, and now knowing about this experience, I think you're a very courageous, sensitive and compassionate person. Sometimes people foolishly mistake kindness for weakness, and perhaps that's what happened in the past. Thank you for being willing to share. You truly never do know who might have been helped today.❤️

Re: Public Shaming, Cyberbullies, and the Hive Mind.......

CareBears — Sun, 01 Jan 2017 22:06:57 GMT

@Nuttmeg I did go to therapy, and have learned coping skills, but to this day I still live in fear, and have only a small number of people I trust, it will take time, and I will always fall back, but because of the support of my husband and a very good friend I know they will always guide me back to my chosen path!

Re: Public Shaming, Cyberbullies, and the Hive Mind.......

chrystaltree — Sun, 01 Jan 2017 22:10:46 GMT

Immature, weak people with low self esteem should just stay away from social media. Cyberbullies aren't the problem; like all bullies, they look for easy victims. They can't be stopped and no one can change them. It's the nature of bullies. So, adults who know they are easily intimidated should stay away from dangerous situations.

Re: Public Shaming, Cyberbullies, and the Hive Mind.......

Nuttmeg — Sun, 01 Jan 2017 22:11:48 GMT

@Pliqueajour wrote:
@Nuttmeg wrote:
@Pliqueajour wrote:
@Nuttmeg wrote:
This is not just an article. It is someone selling a book.
@Nuttmeg, Hi!

It's the blog written by someone who happens to be an author.

Would it he better if I don't mention that and just c&p the whole article?

I thought the topic was worth discussing and it was educational for me at least.

I am not certain what QVC's policy is about these things.

Do you read the Book Club forum?
If this was about a book ---- which it is not ----- it wouldn't be any different than their book discussions.
I'm sorry my thread offended you.
My goal was to share and help and maybe inform.

Your posts did not offend me. I have first hand knowlege about the ways of the internet, and the world. I know a great deal about these topics, and how they impact a person's body, mind, and physical state of well being.

Re: Public Shaming, Cyberbullies, and the Hive Mind.......

CareBears — Sun, 01 Jan 2017 22:13:20 GMT

@dooBdoo Thank you from the bottom of my heart, I was not going to post my story, but I feel it is a topic that needs to be discussed openly, victims need to speak out and ask for HELP, no one should ever have to face this alone and be made to suffer behind closed doors.

My post was not to gain sympathy but to make others aware that it does happen every day, and too many good people are losing the battle so someone can pump up their ego or make themselves feel better about themselves!

Lets show others that they are not alone, and instead of bashing each other down, lets lift them up and unite as ONE!

Re: Public Shaming, Cyberbullies, and the Hive Mind.......

Sooner — Sun, 01 Jan 2017 22:14:13 GMT

In an odd twist, many times the ones most outspoken about bullying have in fact turned out to be the ones most guilty of bullying people who don't share their own opinions and are the most judgmental of all.

Tolerance has simply gone out the window. It's my way or th e highway to many. They are respectful of everyone's views--everyone who shares their own views. About everything.

Re: Public Shaming, Cyberbullies, and the Hive Mind.......

Desertdi — Sun, 01 Jan 2017 22:18:13 GMT

Some of the worst bullying is done by co-workers..........right out in public

Re: Public Shaming, Cyberbullies, and the Hive Mind.......

dooBdoo — Sun, 01 Jan 2017 22:22:11 GMT

@CareBears wrote:
@dooBdoo Thank you from the bottom of my heart, I was not going to post my story, but I feel it is a topic that needs to be discussed openly, victims need to speak out and ask for HELP, no one should ever have to face this alone and be made to suffer behind closed doors.

My post was not to gain sympathy but to make others aware that it does happen every day, and too many good people are losing the battle so someone can pump up their ego or make themselves feel better about themselves!

Lets show others that they are not alone, and instead of bashing each other down, lets lift them up and unite as ONE!

Indeed, it's important to discuss it. Not everyone is enlightened about the problem... particularly the nuanced attempts to bully or shame. We never know who might benefit, or have one of those "I never thought of it that way" moments. I've been using the internet, and working in IT, for more years than I want to say 😉 and I'll never tell you there's not something new I can learn about this.

I hope the new year brings good things to you, @CareBears. Please don't give up on the professionals who might have just the thing to help you feel stronger... but I do think you're stronger than you know.❤️ ("Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." A.A. Milne)