topic Re: A message from me.... in Among Friends

A message from me....

forrestwolf — Mon, 05 Sep 2016 17:57:33 GMT

I have been away from here for a while....I have done some soul searching, and I have come to realize this notion....My family has disowned me, for going against my mom's wishes at her death, and I moved to some unforgiving area to take care of my dad, who will not even so much as return a phone call from me....I have cooked for him, and tried to care for him, but my food has caused him "gout", meaning some cabbage that I cooked for him, and he has had gout for YEARS.....and, he has now refused to go to any doctor any more with his medical issues.....I will back him on this, if this is what he wants...I work as the mental health nurse in a mental health prison.... I have been a nurse for 35 years, so I am not new at this.....I have been a victim of several medical scares of my own, and I have been a victim of a disease that I inherited from my mom.....I have had to endure an ear disease, because I was born premature...With my only hope of any sanity with my ear, means that I must go to Germany, and I can not just get in a car and drive there, and even then, there is no guarantee..... The procedure that is offered to me, is not available in the USA.....My life is go to work, and come home from work, and then go to work and do it all over again....

The only people that have NEVER juduged my, were the people here....I have been slamed on some other boards in the past, but not here....I left, due to issues to some of the boards, and judged many by simply a few....I still do not understand the new board, as I left so quickly after they changed the boards......I need a positive in my life, that I can not get from my life......I so miss posting here, and meeting so many positive people, and not having so much negative.....I hope to be back here, with positive influences, and try to block out the negatives that appear in my life on a daily basis......

So much of me wants to erase this message, but so much of me wants to reconnect with friends without strings attached.......

Re: A message from me....

kivah — Mon, 05 Sep 2016 18:09:31 GMT

I'm so happy that you're back!!!! My life has never been easy -- especially after my mom died almost 35 years ago. She was my BEST friend and mother and teacher. My best friend Brenda died this past January of lung cancer at age 61 yrs. We were friends for 33 years - and I'm now 75 years young. Can't replace my mom and can't replace Brenda. I've had a lot of happiness in my life and a lot of sadness and lonliness. Just because there are some negative reviews on this site ---- just realize that most people are positive and uplifting. Isn't this the way real life is? I just see the positive -- I just choose to be as happy as I can every day. My little lhasa apso makes my day - every day. Maybe u need to get a dog --- humans can't learn what dogs already know.

Are there any social groups, churches that you can attend? Just making a few fun friends can make all the difference. As a matter of fact, that's something I need to do as well. Sandy in Calif.

Re: A message from me....

Noel7 — Mon, 05 Sep 2016 18:26:32 GMT

Hi @forrestwolf

I don't think we've met before but I wanted to say hello and wish you well.

So many people here have had difficult times, I'm beginning to think it's the norm for humanity, but we can make bright sports for ourselves, something I try to do for myself. Maybe people here can help you come up with ideas on how to make your life a little more fun for you.

I'm wondering if you've considered that you may also be dealing with depression? It wouldn't be surprising after all you've been through, and I know you are aware of the symptoms. Perhaps that's worth looking into.

Re: A message from me....

ChiliPepper — Mon, 05 Sep 2016 18:39:33 GMT

@forrestwolf

Hi forrestwolf, I'm glad to see you back posting!

I was just thinking about you yesterday, wondering where you were & how you were.

I remember reading about your struggles with your Dad, I'm sorry you are going through all that.

Please consider staying here with us. Even if you don't feel up to posting some days, it might feel good to just read the posts, all kinds of topics.

Best wishes, I'll be praying for you.

Re: A message from me....

Mary Bailey — Mon, 05 Sep 2016 18:40:53 GMT

@forrestwolf I'm so sorry you are going though all of this. To those that disowned you "it's their loss" We love ya! I hope you can find some things to make you happy. You deserve it.

Re: A message from me....

KingstonsMom — Mon, 05 Sep 2016 18:50:16 GMT

@forrestwolf

Forrestwolf, my long lost friend, you need to be enjoying Bloody Mary's here on River St. in Savannah with me!

Sweet lady, it's so good to hear from you, I've missed you!

I'm so sorry you're going through the family drama, I know that you moved closer to your Dad to care for him and if it wasn't for your cooking for him, he wouldn't have even eaten!

Things haven't been so great for me lately either, so I understand the need to connect with 'friends', albeit 'cyber friends', for comfort and caring.

Please stick around, you'll never get any judgement from me GF.......

Re: A message from me....

SouthernBee — Mon, 05 Sep 2016 18:53:19 GMT

@forrestwolf: My thoughts and prayers have been with you. Wonderful to see your post. Please focus on the positive and ignore post from negative or people that cause trouble. You have friends here!!!! Southern Bee

Re: A message from me....

Honeybit — Mon, 05 Sep 2016 19:05:56 GMT

@forrestwolf So good to see you post here again. We lost way too many long-time posters with the format change. My heart goes out to you with your strugggles with your family and your own health issues. Know you are loved and valued by your e-friends here on this Board, even though we may never meet to support you in person. Come and hang out with the Souper Sisters on the Potsticker Soup thread. It's a Certified Anti-Snark Zone.

I'm glad you had the courage not to delete your OP here. Georgian-to-Georgian, I wish you Peace and Courage.

Re: A message from me....

3suwm5 — Mon, 05 Sep 2016 19:16:20 GMT

We are here to help, keep coming back. We can be your sounding board, we can give you ideas.

Please try to concentrate on ANY positives, maybe with a journal. Trying to increase the number of positives you enter each day.

Take yourself to lunch, coffee. Spend time outside taking in all the beauty. Read a book. Join a group.

Whatever/wherever you have experienced joy in the past, DO IT!!!!!! Retrain yourself to be happy. It is hard, but you can do it.

We all experience bad, sad things. Some more than others. There are folks out there right now, that are experiencing worse things than you are. You probably don't have to look very far to see that.

You are strong, you will see that.

WELCOME BACK!!!

Re: A message from me....

MalteseMomma — Mon, 05 Sep 2016 21:59:07 GMT

Hi Forest,I remember you well. I left for a while too after the death of my beloved Barkley.I was formally , "Corgimom"

I understand your pain all too well.Sometimes life overwhelms us and we get cripled by it. I remember thinking many yrs ago,after grieving my hubby's death for a few yrs,that noone can help me change my circumstances but myself.

You need to take care of yourself first because if you do not ,you canot help anyone.Take care of your ear problem first.your dad can either take care of himself or pay to have someone come in a care for him.you do not need that burden,especially if you are damed for it.

After you regain your health,you need to think about what YOU like to do ,what makes YOU happy.It need not be anything big,just some small thing.

I thought about how I loved birds.I had fed them for many yrs in my yard. Believe it or not ,that opened doors to a whole new life for me. I searched out a bird watching group near me,went to a bird walk very near me ,met the leader and befriended her.She took me to my first birders meeting in my local nature center,near me.Who knew it was even there??? .As time went on I volunteered in that center and became a trail guide ,then worked there more and more.I met so many people and went on to other areas in my life,like hospital work,hospice work and church work.Paving new pathways for myself and others too.I met many new friends.Much to my surprise, I Became ,"somebody" I valued and other people did too .....lol

Start small .Reach out.Be brave and move on Wishing you all the best of luck,love and sucess in finding yourself <3

Re: A message from me....

hoosieroriginal — Mon, 05 Sep 2016 19:22:41 GMT

We can't choose our family - sometimes we are dealt a bad hand. I moved 4,000 miles away from my family for my sanityand have never been happier or healthier . Sometimes you just have to take care of yourself. Do what is best for you.

Re: A message from me....

KingstonsMom — Mon, 05 Sep 2016 19:38:01 GMT

@hoosieroriginal wrote:
We can't choose our family - sometimes we are dealt a bad hand. I moved 4,000 miles away from my family for my sanityand have never been happier or healthier . Sometimes you just have to take care of yourself. Do what is best for you.

@hoosieroriginal

You're so right........a toxic relationship is still a toxic relationship even if it's family.

Re: A message from me....

Leeny — Mon, 05 Sep 2016 19:50:25 GMT

@forrestwolf, We've never met, but I hear it in your text how you feel. It's hard like one person said, sometimes we are dealt a bad hand when it comes to family. Sadly we don't have a choice in what we get, but we can choose who to surround ourselvees with. The first thing I have learned is to keep the negative Nelllies away from me. I was born to a narcisstic mother and believe me I have had my share of hurt with her. You hang in there and come to this board anytime you need to vent or to conncect with friends.

Re: A message from me....

Kachina624 — Mon, 05 Sep 2016 19:59:46 GMT

I'm glad you're back too, although I don't really know you. I posted a message to you right before you disappeared this last time. Can't remember what it was about, but I guess you never got it. Anyway, welcome and we'll start over again.

Re: A message from me....

hckynut — Mon, 05 Sep 2016 20:19:40 GMT

@forrestwolf

I can't say I remember you even though I have been around here for many years. A lot of posters disappeared with this latest update, and many I knew pretty well when it comes to cyber-friends.

I am sorry to hear what you have gone through, and are still dealing with so many negatives at this time. Really don't have any suggestions for your particular issues.

The best I can say is how I have faced my own issues, some with people that were/are not my family, and many serious health issues. I am not in a lone environment as I have a wife I love more than life. We also have a good sized furry family, and just having them makes every one of my days better.

My main friend has and always will be Optimism because without that I understand where I could be. This friend always showed me, even if it was a barely visible flicker, there was always and end to that dark tunnel.

I think anyone that has been around here for a good length of time, also had their own detractors, some more than others. Having them is a given for many, but how you choose to deal with them is a choice we all can make. I personally choose to ignore them, but there are times I can't.

If this board is nothing else, it is definitely full of many more caring people than there are detractors. I hope something you read in these responses helps make your each day just a little better. My best to you,

hckynut(john)

Re: A message from me....

chrystaltree — Mon, 05 Sep 2016 20:35:56 GMT

It sounds like you do need some light and fun and silliness in your life. You have enough dark and heavy in your real life. However, I think if you really do want just some light hearted banter, then you started off wrong. A depressing post will only generated dark and depressing responses. Just what you do not need. Next time you post try sharing a joke or a recipe or talk about your favorite tv program or your weird next door neighbor. Something that lets you take a little mental break from the things that drag you down. Welcome back! Do shop here often? Are you jewelry girl? I am. Well, I'm an everything girl but today it's all about jewelry. I've been on all the shopping channels sites just cruising around them look at all the pretty things. I'd like a pair of sterling hoop earrings but I want something interesting, not just a plain hoop.

Re: A message from me....

on the bay — Mon, 05 Sep 2016 20:43:54 GMT

@forrestwolf~

Your post brought me to tears and I'm glad you reached out and hope that you will find some joy and comfort here.

Isn't it amazing that you felt this was a place you were never judged?

Maybe we have all come together not just by chance but to give to each other.

Everyone just wants to be loved and cared about

We can each help to give that to someone each day.

WElcome back

Re: A message from me....

Bird mama — Mon, 05 Sep 2016 20:45:57 GMT

@forrestwolf

It's so good to see you again forrest. Family is funky - they have the power to hurt us more than strangers.

Re: A message from me....

Q4u — Mon, 05 Sep 2016 21:56:02 GMT

I'm happy to meet you.... and hope you decide to stay because there are many wonderful people here.

Positive, uplifting, glass-half-full thoughts can become a habit, a healthy self-sustaining habit....

Re: A message from me....

momtochloe — Mon, 05 Sep 2016 22:19:07 GMT

@forrestwolf I am so glad to see you again my friend! I know the new boards can be tricky but you'll get used to it in time and we would love to have you back posting full time!