topic Re: Neighbor Gift Question in Holiday

Neighbor Gift Question

LuvmyLab — Wed, 23 Dec 2020 18:59:33 GMT

Our neighbors across the street are really nice but we don't know them very well, Basically, hello, goodbye, how are you kind of neighbors. They have lived there about 2 years and he just got back from a year long tour in the service (he is older). He brought over a gift for Xmas when my husband was working in the garage. We don't know them very well so we didn't get them anything. Hubs thanked them and I will write a thank you note after we open the gift. I obviously can't rush out and get them something now because it will look like it's because they gave us something (which it would be). Why do I feel bad?

Re: Neighbor Gift Question

Kitlynn — Wed, 23 Dec 2020 19:03:38 GMT

Sometimes people give a gift because they enjoy doing it. It doesn't mean they expect anything in return. However you could always put together a nice New Years' Eve basket for them. People are staying home more now due to Covid. How about getting some things like popcorn, hot chocolate, bottle of wine, chocolates and maybe a gift card to Amazon for a movie. Just different ideas for a staying in night with a nice Thank You note to them.

Re: Neighbor Gift Question

Kachina624 — Wed, 23 Dec 2020 19:07:48 GMT

Unfortunately these casual acquaintances put you in an awkward position. I wouldn't feel badly since it was unexpected but next year you might be prepared with a plate of cookies or something similar.

Re: Neighbor Gift Question

firestorm — Wed, 23 Dec 2020 19:17:09 GMT

Accept the gift and forget any type of gift reciprocation. People sometimes do things like this and don't want something in return.

That's their joy.

It's that time of year. Forget about the pressure to buy, buy, buy. Accept it.

Re: Neighbor Gift Question

QVCkitty1 — Wed, 23 Dec 2020 19:20:31 GMT

Please don't make their lovely gesture a problem. As another poster said , some people just love to give gifts and don't expect anything in return. You could give them a small New Year gift and card if it would make you feel better.

Re: Neighbor Gift Question

SXMGirl — Wed, 23 Dec 2020 19:44:49 GMT

@LuvmyLab Several years ago, I met a friend for lunch and this friend does not celebrate Christmas. I took her some homemade pizzelles. When I gave them to her, she was upset since she did not get me anything. As I told her, they are just cookies. So, do not read anything more into their gift, just send a thank you. Then, either take some cookies over tomorrow or Friday, or the great suggestion of doing a basket for NYE.

Re: Neighbor Gift Question

aroc3435 — Wed, 23 Dec 2020 19:46:49 GMT

@LuvmyLab

I would not do a reciprocal gift this year. He was probably just feeling an increased sense of joy by having returned home from a year long deployment and just wanted to share that feeling.

At some point in the future, perhaps on a random, non-holiday day you can surprise them with a "thank you for being my neighbor" gift.

You shouldn't feel guilty. Just accept that a nice fellow human being wanted to extend a hand of neighborly friendship.

Anyway, that is my take on the scenario you described.

Best,

aroc3435

Washington, DC

Re: Neighbor Gift Question

jackthebear — Wed, 23 Dec 2020 19:53:48 GMT

@LuvmyLab wrote:
Our neighbors across the street are really nice but we don't know them very well, Basically, hello, goodbye, how are you kind of neighbors. They have lived there about 2 years and he just got back from a year long tour in the service (he is older). He brought over a gift for Xmas when my husband was working in the garage. We don't know them very well so we didn't get them anything. Hubs thanked them and I will write a thank you note after we open the gift. I obviously can't rush out and get them something now because it will look like it's because they gave us something (which it would be). Why do I feel bad?

to answer yr question, the constant barrage especially here to buy, buy for everyone you see

I would send a thank you note to the family, to express your apprecation

Re: Neighbor Gift Question

KingstonsMom — Wed, 23 Dec 2020 19:57:48 GMT

@firestorm wrote:
Accept the gift and forget any type of gift reciprocation. People sometimes do things like this and don't want something in return.
That's their joy.

It's that time of year. Forget about the pressure to buy, buy, buy. Accept it.

@firestorm

I agree!

My area has a big military presence and when dining out (pre Covid!) I often picked up the bill for a soldier(s) seated nearby, without them knowing.

Their look of appreciation and pride when they saw that their bill had been paid with a big'thank you!' added) was enough for me.

Re: Neighbor Gift Question

itsmagic — Wed, 23 Dec 2020 20:16:36 GMT

I agree with the other posters who said some people just like to give gifts so don’t feel bad and just send the thank you note. Personally I would not reciprocate because then you end up in a yearly gift exchange with your neighbor (unless you want that).

Re: Neighbor Gift Question

queendiva — Wed, 23 Dec 2020 20:24:24 GMT

I always keep a few beautiful, unique ornaments for just such occasions.

Well under $10.00, no calories and no alcohol. Perfect for a man, woman, single, couple or family of any age.

Re: Neighbor Gift Question

jackthebear — Thu, 24 Dec 2020 00:15:20 GMT

@queendiva wrote:
I always keep a few beautiful, unique ornaments for just such occasions.
Well under $10.00, no calories and no alcohol. Perfect for a man, woman, single, couple or family of any age.

depends : we don't have a tree

Re: Neighbor Gift Question

Marsha2003 — Thu, 24 Dec 2020 19:18:41 GMT

I have a neighbor across the street that always keeps an eye on my house and lets me know if there's a package sitting on the sidewalk or if there's some other thing he notices that I might not see. I take him a small gift every Christmas to say thank you for being my neighbor. I don't expect a gift in return.

I agree that a thank you note with appreciation for his service and for his neighborliness is all that is needed. If you wanted to give them something for New Year's, I'm sure they would like it, but being a good neighbor is the best gift.

Re: Neighbor Gift Question

queendiva — Thu, 24 Dec 2020 20:19:56 GMT

@jackthebear : Yeah, I planned to give an ornament to a neighbor friend who is a widow. She does not put up a tree.

I also bake cookies, so she is getting a musical tin full of home baked cookies and a small candle.

Re: Neighbor Gift Question

loriqvc — Fri, 25 Dec 2020 02:54:31 GMT

I agree with other posters that you need not feel any sense of obligation to reciprocate. There are only a couple of neighbors I know well and a few more whose names I know and with whom I occasionally exchange a word or two, but we are not really close at all. However, at the end of the year, all of those neighbors get a little something from me simply because I want to give them something. And there are three or four of them who have never given me anything, and I am TOTALLY fine with that. My joy in the holidays is in sharing, so just being able to give a little token of friendship and happy wishes for the season is actually a gift to myself, as corny as that may seem.

So if you want to reciprocate, I'm sure they'd appreciate the gesture. But especially if this is the first time they've brought you anything, I'm sure there are no expectations, so just enjoy the gift. I hope you have a great holiday no matter what you decide!

Re: Neighbor Gift Question

speedy girl — Fri, 25 Dec 2020 06:20:40 GMT

Sounds like they were just making a nice neighborly gesture. I would send a Thank you note and leave it at that. I'm sure they don't expect anything back and if you did get them something now, it might start a pattern of gift giving every year.

Re: Neighbor Gift Question

beach-mom — Fri, 25 Dec 2020 07:01:04 GMT

As someone who likes giving little gifts, I will tell you don't feel bad! The year after we moved in I took a small holiday gift and card to all of our neighbors, some we had yet to meet. I wanted to share the spirit of the season, and I didn't expect or want anything in return!

Re: Neighbor Gift Question

Spurt — Sun, 27 Dec 2020 15:22:16 GMT

@LuvmyLab

I think that Thank You Note you were going to write is just the perfect gesture....

Re: Neighbor Gift Question

Mominohio — Tue, 29 Dec 2020 21:03:26 GMT

I know this puts you in a bit of an akward position. Perhaps you go out of your way to make his family feel welcome, safe, and thought of through the year, and it was his way of saying thanks. People gone in the service worry about their family and appreciate friends and even just acquantces who help and support them. Perhaps that is how he sees you, and appreciates you.

At any rate, I've been in the same position as you, and at that point, it's just best to do as you say, and write a nice note of thanks. You can always give back in some way at another time of the year. When you bake something, take some over, or if you see a need that you can jump in and help fill, do it another time.

I have taken to keeping some basic things around the holidays to give should I need a last minute little gift. In year's past it was nice tins of home made cookies and candy, but with Covid, I figured most people would not This year is was the most beautiful/cute tins of chocolates from Russell Stover and Whitmans I got at the grocery store. They were buy one get one free, so cost only about $5.50 each. I wrapped up about a half a dozen and handed them out as I needed something to give in those little instances. Any left over won't go to waste, cause, well....candy is hard to resist! LOL

Re: Neighbor Gift Question

Isobel Archer — Fri, 01 Jan 2021 08:19:44 GMT

@jackthebear wrote:
@queendiva wrote:
I always keep a few beautiful, unique ornaments for just such occasions.
Well under $10.00, no calories and no alcohol. Perfect for a man, woman, single, couple or family of any age.
depends : we don't have a tree

Yes it is very hard to give someone a gift if you don't know them well. An ornament - oh we don't put up a tree. A tin of cookies - oh we don't eat anything prepared by someone else (remember all those posts in the past where people practically accused anyone giving them food of trying to poison them?) Cookies bought at the store - oh we don't eat sugar. etc. etc. etc.