topic Re: Memorial Day in Holiday

Memorial Day

Mominohio — Mon, 21 May 2018 11:54:05 GMT

Took a bit of a poll last year, to see who still decorates the graves of family for Memorial Day.

Honestly, I don't know what is up with me, but it just hit me this past weekend that I hadn't made the usual plans to do this annual ritual.

My son and I usually spend the better part of a day visiting about a half a dozen cemeteries and cleaning up the graves and placing flowers.

I usually do up something in red white and blue for the graves. I'm going to have to get moving on this! We really enjoy the time together, the weather is usually beautiful, and the retelling of the who's who at each grave keeps the history of the family alive.

So I'll ask again this year, for those that might be new or have missed it last year, do you have a Memorial Day weekend tradition for honoring those that have passed.

Re: Memorial Day

Klondike — Mon, 21 May 2018 12:30:16 GMT

I still do but unfortunately when I pass that will probably be the end of anyone going. I still buy the same kind and/or color of flowers for each deceased family member because it was their preference when they were alive. Silly I know but makes me feel better. Hope everyone has a wonderful and safe Memorial Day and blessings to everyone who has or is serving this country.

Re: Memorial Day

151949 — Mon, 21 May 2018 12:36:44 GMT

DH just sent his nephew a check to buy flowers for on his family's graves. We are fortunate to have this wonderful nephew willing to do this for us. Until this year we would do the graves when we got back to Pa for the summer. My parents are in a masoleum so no flowers there, and where my grandparents and great grandparents are buried they no longer allow planted flowers - they will mow them down if you plant them, which I find disgusting.

Re: Memorial Day

Ainhisg — Mon, 21 May 2018 12:47:37 GMT

I was a later in life baby so never knew my grandparents or other relatives from that generation. And my immediate family is small, so the only grave I visit is my dad's. Like another poster, I always take yellow mums as that was his favorite color and flower. It is almost 60 miles away, and my sister and I take our elderly mother. After he passed, I was the only sibling to do this for a long time. We were reared to do this by our parents, so I have no idea why my other siblings never wanted to do it or joined in. We were all very close to our dad, so that increases the puzzlement. When my mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and moved to assisted living, my sister finally joined in on the tradition. When Mom passes, I wonder if my sister will still join me in making the yearly trip. I will go until I can't go any longer, but like someone else said, I will probably be the last generation as I do not have children, and my sister has never had her children go with us.

Re: Memorial Day

IMW — Mon, 21 May 2018 14:00:20 GMT

Bless you and others who do this. Flowers are not a traditional in a Jewish cemetery, flags are placed.

Re: Memorial Day

BirkiLady — Mon, 21 May 2018 17:15:40 GMT

Since our family will be leaving for FL for my niece's wedding , we've already been to the (three) cemetaries (both sets of grandparents) in Omaha and (dad) Lincoln. My peonies are late this year, but the deep purple iris are gorgeous and always last much longer in the in-ground vases so it worked out well. I also leave a flag for each Veteran [both grandfathers (WWI), my dad (WWII)]. My husband (VietNam conflict) and my mom were cremated; their ashes are inured in the Collumbarium at our Church. Confident my son will continue to place the flag and a purple iris for his dad, me and his grandmother. Doubt the cemetaries will continue after he is gone.

Re: Memorial Day

software — Mon, 21 May 2018 20:28:12 GMT

Each cemetery has their own "decoration" day, usually early Spring. Too hot to go to the graveyard on Memorial day.

I'm in the deep southeast.

Re: Memorial Day

Sansun — Mon, 21 May 2018 20:33:58 GMT

I can remember going with my parents as a small child to cemetaries to do this. So when my Dad passed at a young age, my Mom and sisters did decorate the graves. As time passed and Mom wasn't able to do it herself, we took over for her. Now i'm the only one left and I will always clean up the stones and take flowers to my parents, my husband's parents and my grandparents graves. No one else in the family knows that I do my grandparents, and I've never heard anyone asking who does it, so I'm guessing they never go to the cemetary. I do this gladly so I'm not complaining. My parents taught me this by example, but I know that my kids are not going to pick up when I'm gone. I think they just don't get it. God bless you all that don't forget loved ones.

Re: Memorial Day

antiquelover — Mon, 21 May 2018 21:28:23 GMT

I live in a rural area in central Ohio. My mother and I decorate the family graves with geraniums in patriotic arrangements. Flags are placed for the veterans, but I bring the 42nd Rainbow Division Flag for my grandfather's WWI service. We attend the miiitary tribute and the program given at the cemetery gazebo where the high school band plays, recitiation of the Gettysburg Address and In Flanders Field are given, and a speaker makes an appropriate speech. We visit with our neighbors and chat with those who have come for the event.

This is truly a part of American culture that may not last much longer. It is important that we teach our children that this day is just not for family cook-outs.

Our children should be taught that this is a responsibility to remember and show our respect. How sad it is to hear that many do not expect to have the future generations, whether because of geographical distance or lack of appreciation or concern for the meaning of the holiday or cultural tradition, will continue what should be considered a part of our cultural heritage.

Re: Memorial Day

AuntG — Mon, 21 May 2018 21:39:02 GMT

We visited the cemetery Saturday and left flowers at the grave of my in-laws. I don't put flowers on my parent's grave. Growing up, our family mowed the church cemetery and my dad found the flowers a nuisance to mow around so I figured it best not to upset his resting place.

Re: Memorial Day

GCR18 — Tue, 22 May 2018 03:01:24 GMT

I can remember going to the cemetery with my father, grandmother and sister to put flowers on that side of the family's graves. My grandmother passed when I was 15. We went a couple years after that, then my father went on his own until he passed in '09.

Re: Memorial Day

beach-mom — Tue, 22 May 2018 03:19:31 GMT

We don't live anywhere near where my family is buried. I'm the last one of my generation. I lost my brother when he had just turned 28. So we make the trip twice a year because it's important to ME and DH knows it. We can do it in one very long day, usually leaving before dawn. We will be going this week, always right before Memorial Day to plant flowers, and again in December right after Thanksgiving with our Christmas wreaths.

DH's parents are buried at a little church right up the road from the homestead where his youngest sister now lives. We will stop there if we go up for the July 4th weekend, and again on Thanksgiving. She takes care of everything, and we live 8 hours away.

It is important to some, but not to others. I have friends who haven't been to the cemetery since their loved one died.

Re: Memorial Day

nana59 — Tue, 22 May 2018 03:25:14 GMT

my husband planted geraniums at his parents' grave today.....

Re: Memorial Day

TenderMercies — Tue, 22 May 2018 03:57:42 GMT

I guess the people from both where I grew up and where I live now observe Memorial Day differently than many other places. We only recognize those who died during military service, not all of our deceased relatives on this holiday.

In my religion, we have a lovely holiday called Green Sunday which is in early spring and acknowledges all our deceased relatives. That's the holiday when we make everything look nice at the cemetery, as that's where the services are held that day. We add something patriotic to service members' graves for Memorial Day, but the rest of the families' graves already have flowers planted and blooming by this time.

Re: Memorial Day

sissel — Tue, 22 May 2018 04:08:17 GMT

Iiving in a hot climate I noticed that most people put fake flowers on the graves. I thought at first it was odd but any fresh would die in 2 days so it does make sense. To me, it's more of the thought than what you put on the graves. My parents are buried back east so I can't visit or put flowers on their grave but they are with me everyday. I talk to them once in awhile trying not to bother them but sometimes I just need to talk, makes me feel better. So wonderful you visit your family's graves.

Re: Memorial Day

gidgetgh — Tue, 22 May 2018 09:36:52 GMT

@Mominohio- my family is all buried in Pennsylvania and Connecticut and I'm in Georgia so no visiting the graves this weekend for me.

My husband never goes to visit the graves of his deceased family members.

Re: Memorial Day

BirkiLady — Tue, 22 May 2018 13:18:49 GMT

My maternal grandparents had an large home on an acre in Omaha. My grandpa had fruit trees and a gorgeous Colorado Blue Spruce to the south of their home with two curved concrete sitting benches nearby. When they sold that home, my grandmother had one of those benches moved to the family cemetary plot. After both had passed away, mom had a Colorado Blue Spruce planted in their memory by their final resting places. Mom found great comfort in that peaceful place.

I'm grateful all of the cemetaries our family members chose have eternal care and are always so well kept.

A few years ago, I was placing flowers and flags on my paternal grandparents graves and the brass in-ground vases had been stolen! (Brass prices have gone sky high. I'm sure they were resold for scrap.) That was hurtful in a huge Omaha cemetary. And costly.

Re: Memorial Day

mousiegirl — Tue, 22 May 2018 15:52:27 GMT

@Mominohio wrote:
Took a bit of a poll last year, to see who still decorates the graves of family for Memorial Day.

Honestly, I don't know what is up with me, but it just hit me this past weekend that I hadn't made the usual plans to do this annual ritual.

My son and I usually spend the better part of a day visiting about a half a dozen cemeteries and cleaning up the graves and placing flowers.

I usually do up something in red white and blue for the graves. I'm going to have to get moving on this! We really enjoy the time together, the weather is usually beautiful, and the retelling of the who's who at each grave keeps the history of the family alive.

So I'll ask again this year, for those that might be new or have missed it last year, do you have a Memorial Day weekend tradition for honoring those that have passed.

@Mominohio There is a cemetery about twenty or more miles away that is only soldiers, and all of the graves have little flags. I don't knoiw if this is year round or just on memorial day , havn't seen it for eons.

Re: Memorial Day

Mominohio — Tue, 22 May 2018 17:30:49 GMT

@antiquelover wrote:
I live in a rural area in central Ohio. My mother and I decorate the family graves with geraniums in patriotic arrangements. Flags are placed for the veterans, but I bring the 42nd Rainbow Division Flag for my grandfather's WWI service. We attend the miiitary tribute and the program given at the cemetery gazebo where the high school band plays, recitiation of the Gettysburg Address and In Flanders Field are given, and a speaker makes an appropriate speech. We visit with our neighbors and chat with those who have come for the event.

This is truly a part of American culture that may not last much longer. It is important that we teach our children that this day is just not for family cook-outs.

Our children should be taught that this is a responsibility to remember and show our respect. How sad it is to hear that many do not expect to have the future generations, whether because of geographical distance or lack of appreciation or concern for the meaning of the holiday or cultural tradition, will continue what should be considered a part of our cultural heritage.

@antiquelover

I agree with you 1000%

This has to be taught. Children have to grow up doing it to understand it, value it and make it important and a tradition.

Even our more obscure and tiny cemeteries in this area of Ohio see people coming out and doing these things during this season.

I do understand distance can make this hard or impossible for some people to perform in person, but there are florists and services that will decorate and deliver, so one doesn't even have to be in the area to make it happen.

I have hope that since my son enjoys doing this with me, that he will do it when I'm gone. He is not at the age of having a family yet, but I will make sure his children know and do this when they are young, should I still be here to teach it.

I do graves of family that have no one left alive (they had no children or gandchildren, as well as graves for family members that are too old to get out and do them now, or live very far away. I do it out of a sense of duty, but more out of a sense of connection to the past, a connection to the people in my family that have gone on before me, and a duty to preserve the tradition and pass the history down. I don't mean it to sound morbid, but I enjoy the task and the time spent doing it.

Re: Memorial Day

FleurFairy — Tue, 22 May 2018 20:05:29 GMT

My mom and I usually do the flower planting at the graves over Memorial Day. It always falls to us (and we are happy to do it) even though my mom is one of 10 kids. So I suppose when she dies, it will be up to me since nobody else in the family seems to care. We also put wreaths on the graves at Christmas. It always makes me sad seeing the old fallen over graves of some of the deceased nearby knowing they probably don't have anyone alive today that remembers or visits them.