topic Re: How Do You Feel About Gifts These Days? in Holiday

How Do You Feel About Gifts These Days?

Sooner — Fri, 26 Sep 2025 18:17:11 GMT

I can be very honest here. I am older, I have things I want and don't want to replace them with things someone else wants. I don't want pictures in frames--I am very picky about who I want to see, loved ones or not.

I don't want scented things or things I have to dust, display or eat. Stuff. I sure don't want clothing. And I've been "throwed" to death.

So is that just because I'm old, or a trend in this time and place? I'm being very honest here. I wonder if the days of gifting are changing or is it me? Which is usually is. . .

Seems gifting could be replaced with a visit, drop by during the holidays and see the friend's kids or younger relatives, out to lunch, just a nice visit and you bring the agreed on snacks, etc. A phone call, card, or zoom. Gift card for books and music. Things like that.

And of course, I'm someone not fond of baked things. . . Always too much of that during holidays.

My gift giving rule? Ask. You won't be disappointed and neither will the giftee if you ASK and do as they respond.

Re: How Do You Feel About Gifts These Days?

deepwaterdotter — Fri, 26 Sep 2025 18:25:47 GMT

I agree.

Re: How Do You Feel About Gifts These Days?

Kachina624 — Fri, 26 Sep 2025 18:26:25 GMT

@Sooner I feel the same way about gifts, don't need anything and don't want anything. Getting rid of "stuff". I only exchanged gifts with my sister in recent years and, with postage so expensive, we agreed to discontinue the practice. She was in the same situation.

Re: How Do You Feel About Gifts These Days?

kitcat51 — Fri, 26 Sep 2025 18:31:34 GMT

I gift what I know they'll use...gift cards to their fav grocery, deli, bakery & always a big box of Godiva for my son's family....I lucked out yesterday & found it on sale on Macy's website. Gifts for me, family pictures & ornaments.

Re: How Do You Feel About Gifts These Days?

jackthebear — Fri, 26 Sep 2025 18:32:25 GMT

don't tell Q, they think every customer buys gifts for everyone

Re: How Do You Feel About Gifts These Days?

ThinkingOutLoud — Fri, 26 Sep 2025 18:38:22 GMT

I think gifts should be based on 2 things...

> the person's love language (quality time, service, affection, words of affirmation, physical items)

> their type

- loves surprises/something to anticipate (ie concert, movie, etc)

- appreciates sentimental things

- practical (things to use)

- intellectually interesting (ie books, museum tickets, games, etc)

Re: How Do You Feel About Gifts These Days?

Biftu — Fri, 26 Sep 2025 18:41:49 GMT

I don't want any gifts UNLESS someone can give me a new bathroom remodel ~$15,000, a new driveway $8,000, or a new mattress ~$2,000, a new car ~$30,000. I'm good.

Re: How Do You Feel About Gifts These Days?

rockygems123 — Fri, 26 Sep 2025 18:46:22 GMT

@Sooner

I think it is both, the days of gifting has changed generally and also at this age we have accumulated enough stuff.

Over the years I've noticed some gift givers do it for themselves. Not saying they're selfish by any means as it is a good feeling to give and feel like you have made the other person happy.

It's hard for some to stop buying and gifting I've seen it with some of my friends. And it's hard to ask your friends to stop as the gifts could be unwanted. Tough position but with good communication usually it works out.

As with some of the younger group who like experiences over things we within our age group enjoy our lunches and dinners together. Lots of fun and no need for a gift closet haha.

Re: How Do You Feel About Gifts These Days?

geezerette — Fri, 26 Sep 2025 18:47:41 GMT

For me, the only gift I want now is help when I need it.

Re: How Do You Feel About Gifts These Days?

Q-Checker — Fri, 26 Sep 2025 19:51:11 GMT

I also do not want most gifts at this point in my life. A gift card, with which I can buy books is appreciated but what is valued and appreciated the most is a donation to a charity in my name.

Re: How Do You Feel About Gifts These Days?

rockygems123 — Fri, 26 Sep 2025 18:48:25 GMT

@Kachina624 wrote:
@Sooner I feel the same way about gifts, don't need anything and don't want anything. Getting rid of "stuff". I only exchanged gifts with my sister in recent years and, with postage so expensive, we agreed to discontinue the practice. She was in the same situation.

@Kachina624

My sister came up with a clever idea for our birthdays. We send each other the dollar amount of our age each year.

Christmas wasn't quite so easy. I'd send her a certain amount and she'd counter with the same amount haha.

Said after doing that one year let's quit that one. So I just send her a VPH wreath.

Re: How Do You Feel About Gifts These Days?

rockygems123 — Fri, 26 Sep 2025 18:49:08 GMT

@Biftu wrote:
I don't want any gifts UNLESS someone can give me a new bathroom remodel ~$15,000, a new driveway $8,000, or a new mattress ~$2,000, a new car ~$30,000. I'm good.

@Biftu

Santa Baby ha

Re: How Do You Feel About Gifts These Days?

Tinkrbl44 — Fri, 26 Sep 2025 19:00:25 GMT

My sisters and I no longer give each other "stuff".

For birthdays, I select a gorgeous Papayrus card, written with a nice message, which is something that can be displayed for a short while.

For major holidays, if we give gifts, we give gift cards.

After the holidays, with all the sales going on, we each enjoy "the thrill of the hunt" and shopping on someone else's money.

It works for us and we've said Why didn't we do this sooner?

Re: How Do You Feel About Gifts These Days?

jlkz — Fri, 26 Sep 2025 19:13:34 GMT

Yesterday I had lunch with a college friend for almost 64 years. We are different heights and shapes. She always admires the large pendant/ chain pieces I wear.

So to thank her for a gift she sent me, I tucked my pendant and chain under my top and wore the short pendant chain piece. When she kept looking at it, I told her there was a story about it as I unhooked it. She took it and really admired it: Then I told her it was hers as I took out my hidden pendant chain.

She immediately replaced her necklace and put on the pendant and chain ! She loved it. Now that's the kind of gift I love to give !

Re: How Do You Feel About Gifts These Days?

jlkz — Fri, 26 Sep 2025 19:17:18 GMT

Re: Gifts in General

I no longer keep a gift closet. My circle of gift receivers has gotten significantly smaller as we all age.

My closest friends and I have an agreement: no gifts but would rather leisurely eaten lunches where we can talk and catch up. This really seems to be working out rather nicely. Nothing to " declutter / donate / exchange / return. "

Re: How Do You Feel About Gifts These Days?

beach-mom — Fri, 26 Sep 2025 19:19:47 GMT

What's hard for me:

I enjoy giving small gifts to my friend groups. I wondered about this years ago, and thought everyone would rather have something "disposable." That year I bought plain mugs and filled them with homemade cookie mix and a seasonal mini spatula. Everyone thanked me, but one older member said how she looks forward every year to the small holiday decorations I give. She talked about how much she looks forward to putting them out every year and she thinks of us when she does.

Since then I've gone back to giving small holiday-themed gifts.

I also enjoy selecting something really special for my 3 closest friends.

Family is another story. We don't see DH's family since his one brother-in-law died and his sister doesn't want to do anything. We used to go up twice a year, Thanksgiving and July 4th. He has a big family. We've reached the point where we are "exchanging" gift cards. I always send a gift I select specifically to his 3 surviving sisters. His one sister's widower gets a gift certificate to a store he likes and a container of mixed candy.

Our 6 nephews and their families get gift cards. Since we haven't seen most of them in years, I have no idea what they would like. I try to ask their moms, but I usually get "whatever you want to get."

All of these have to be mailed, and I am spending more to send them than the value of some of the gifts. All in all, it is way too much!

I'm tired of all of this. Years ago, we decided to draw names for the adults and give to the children until they turned 18. They stopped this after two years because of some conflict between two of his sisters. And they weren't happy with me either, because I gave his stepmother and his grandmother an ornament. I "broke the rules."

So we went back to the old way. But back then we saw them more and I could get something I thought they would like.

I'm thinking about sending cards this year, but I am the only "sister-in-law," and I've never been involved in their decisions.

So I don't know what DH and I will end up doing.

Re: How Do You Feel About Gifts These Days?

JYWilliams — Fri, 26 Sep 2025 19:25:34 GMT

I also don't want any gifts. People a lot of times give something you don't want or need. And I really don't need anything. I let everyone know that I prefer not to get a gift because I don't need anything. The people that I gift to I just give them money. That way they can buy what they want or put it on a bill, food etc.

Re: How Do You Feel About Gifts These Days?

Jk9 — Fri, 26 Sep 2025 19:39:23 GMT

I think celebrating occasions and gift giving become very different as we age. The excitement we felt as youngsters changes over the years and we experience life and get to a time where we don't do the same things over and over. Most of us can get what we want and "things" are valued differently. Sharing that important and nebulous thing we call "time" comes to mean more and more as we know we have less of it to enjoy. Taking the time to be together for whatever works best for everyone is a valued gift to me.

Re: How Do You Feel About Gifts These Days?

skatting44 — Fri, 26 Sep 2025 19:49:19 GMT

Would say 99% of the time, I give cash as gift so it can be used at the persons discretion or to save.

Re: How Do You Feel About Gifts These Days?

nascarfan — Fri, 26 Sep 2025 19:50:37 GMT

I'm done with gift giving for family and friends. We agreed that we have everything we need and just get together for dinners during the holidays.

I do make donations to local schools, my church, and various charitable organizations in my area.