topic Re: Valerie Harper Update in TV and Movies

Valerie Harper Update

SeaMaiden — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 01:04:44 GMT

Valerie Harper's husband says doctors recommend hospice care. Why he won't do it.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/tv/celebrity/valerie-harpers-husband-says-doctors-recommend-hospice-care-why-he-wont-do-it/ar-AAEMhCp?li=BBnb2gh

Re: Valerie Harper Update

1Snickers — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 01:09:18 GMT

What a nice husband! I enjoyed Valerie’s natural acting and am so sorry for them.

Re: Valerie Harper Update

SeaMaiden — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 01:10:53 GMT

Yes. She has been a real fighter in this war against cancer. So sad to hear she is not doing well😢

Re: Valerie Harper Update

alicedee — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 01:13:22 GMT

He sounds like a very good man. Very sad for Valerie....I hope her pain is being managed, That was the biggest help hospice gave our family...it is so hard now to get the “regular” doctors to prescribe adequate pain medication for terminal patients. Hospice is wonderful.

Re: Valerie Harper Update

DREAMON — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 01:14:56 GMT

This brought tears to my eyes.

Re: Valerie Harper Update

SXMGirl — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 01:23:51 GMT

I am sorry to hear that she is now in need of hospice care. I wish her and her husband the strength to fight on.

Re: Valerie Harper Update

ALRATIBA — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 01:42:54 GMT

My friend's wife had hospice care at home. Full time help and the family all lived in the neighborhood, and friends were all nearby.

She died peacefully surrounded by loved ones.

Re: Valerie Harper Update

DJP — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 01:47:49 GMT

This is so sad to hear. I always loved watching her especially with Mary Tyler Moore. She will be missed.

Re: Valerie Harper Update

phoenixbrd — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 02:19:59 GMT

@SeaMaiden Love Tony and his commitment to his wife. Thank you for sharing this affirmation of love/life. We have made the commitment to pass in our home if at all possible....No nursing homes or hospice care. I am so glad Tony is in the position to be able to do so. I don't want to make judgements because unfortunately sometimes there is not an option. My heart goes out to them and their family/friends.

Re: Valerie Harper Update

Carol Diane — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 02:22:59 GMT

@phoenixbrd There is a Go Fund Me page for Valerie so I'm not sure they had the funds for her care

Re: Valerie Harper Update

phoenixbrd — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 02:39:06 GMT

@Carol Diane wrote:
@phoenixbrd There is a Go Fund Me page for Valerie so I'm not sure they had the funds for her care

@Carol Diane Which makes me admire Tony even more!

Re: Valerie Harper Update

Oznell — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 02:44:23 GMT

So sorry to hear this. Valerie Harper is such a dear, and has an enviable spirit I can only call "gallant". She has always been so positive in approaching her illness.

Praying for her, her husband and family. When I worked in a hospice organization (as a coordinator of volunteers), I was staggered by the courage of patients and families.

Re: Valerie Harper Update

Kachina624 — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 02:49:11 GMT

@phoenixbrd wrote:
@SeaMaiden Love Tony and his commitment to his wife. Thank you for sharing this affirmation of love/life. We have made the commitment to pass in our home if at all possible....No nursing homes or hospice care. I am so glad Tony is in the position to be able to do so. I don't want to make judgements because unfortunately sometimes there is not an option. My heart goes out to them and their family/friends.

@phoenixbrd. I'd say Tony has been misguided. Hospice is not a place; it's a service offered to patients and their families during the last period of the patient's life. It can easily be done at home and the patient receives unlimited and unquestioned pain killers, support and care.

Nurses and home care workers will visit as will physicians. When my dad was dying, a doctor visited on Christmas Day. The family gets all sort of information on what the patient is experiencing and what to expect next. They can also arrange for a Chaplin to visit, if desired. The support given to everyone involved is immeasurable. I doubt Tony could duplicate it or would even consider it necessary.

Re: Valerie Harper Update

phoenixbrd — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 02:59:53 GMT

@Kachina624 Thanks for the clarification. I had a misconception that you were put in a home. I'm wondering if everyone has this choice of inhome care. Seems as though Tony would be aware of this option. I'm wondering why he would not accept the help. I need to do more research so we can make informed decisions. I appreciate the information.

Re: Valerie Harper Update

IMW — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 03:07:20 GMT

@Kachina624 wrote:
@phoenixbrd wrote:
@SeaMaiden Love Tony and his commitment to his wife. Thank you for sharing this affirmation of love/life. We have made the commitment to pass in our home if at all possible....No nursing homes or hospice care. I am so glad Tony is in the position to be able to do so. I don't want to make judgements because unfortunately sometimes there is not an option. My heart goes out to them and their family/friends.
@phoenixbrd. I'd say Tony has been misguided. Hospice is not a place; it's a service offered to patients and their families during the last period of the patient's life. It can easily be done at home and the patient receives unlimited and unquestioned pain killers, support and care.

Nurses and home care workers will visit as will physicians. When my dad was dying, a doctor visited on Christmas Day. The family gets all sort of information on what the patient is experiencing and what to expect next. They can also arrange for a Chaplin to visit, if desired. The support given to everyone involved is immeasurable. I doubt Tony could duplicate it or would even consider it necessary.

@phoenixbrd I totally agree. Hospice can make it easier for patient, family and friends.

Re: Valerie Harper Update

daisyk — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 03:44:57 GMT

Is there a stigma with hospice? I think it can be a great help and hospice can help you as much or as little as you like. I work in an assisted living facility and have seen many go on "hospice", but they continue as they always have. They have access to different medications and pain management, but I don't think that's a bad thing. I can see if Valerie's husband does not want her in a hospital or wacked out on morphine, but it doesn't have to be like that. Prayers for her in any case-I think she seems like a wonderful person and has a terrific family.

Re: Valerie Harper Update

Katcat1 — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 03:50:14 GMT

If Valerie is in pain, then he is being completely selfish. Valerie should be made comfortable at this stage in the game. She is nearly 80 years old. He does not want to live without here and I can understand that but he needs to do what is best for her and managing her pain.

Re: Valerie Harper Update

NAES1 — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 03:51:54 GMT

@Oznell wrote:
So sorry to hear this. Valerie Harper is such a dear, and has an enviable spirit I can only call "gallant". She has always been so positive in approaching her illness.

Praying for her, her husband and family. When I worked in a hospice organization (as a coordinator of volunteers), I was staggered by the courage of patients and families.

@Oznell

I thought your post was so loving knowing that there are husbands that are very `gallant' of being that close to their spouse, there would be a total commitment being with that spouse to the end. There is absolutely nothing to wonder about having any loved one at home under hospice care.

My husband and I had made [[that]] as priority number ONE -being together- to the end.

Years ago when in our 20s.

We have that written, a living will- signed and sealed that Hospice care can, and can / will be provided, when deemed necessary for pain beyond oral medication.

I did the same for my father as I will for my husband, or anyone needing Hospice care in my family.

NAES

That's the way it will be until the end.

I want no beloved family member in any Hospice room or Hospice center.

May not know of these options, BUT! Believe me !

There are spouses that have the same written arrangement.

Gallant, that would be my best friend, whom will be with me, or I with him holding hands as either one of us take _________our________ last breath.

What I do not understand is curious with a big

wondering

Re: Valerie Harper Update

NAES1 — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 03:58:38 GMT

@ALRATIBA

INDEED! NO PAIN! Being there!

@ALRATIBA wrote:
My friend's wife had hospice care at home. Full time help and the family all lived in the neighborhood, and friends were all nearby.

She died peacefully surrounded by loved ones.

Re: Valerie Harper Update

Oznell — Wed, 24 Jul 2019 11:46:51 GMT

That's very beautiful, sweet @NAES1.