topic Re: Potty training in Mom to Mom

Potty training

jagk — Mon, 13 Jul 2015 19:45:02 GMT

My 3 year old granddaughter will not go on the potty. When I want to get it she cries. I even offered her m&ms if she will sit on it. She says no she wants diapers. Anybody have any advice?

Re: Potty training

RedTop — Mon, 13 Jul 2015 20:55:56 GMT

Thankfully I had 2 girls who were extremely easy to potty train. They were taking their wet diapers off starting around 15-18 months, so that was my sign to introduce the potty very early. Both were very receptive, and did well. This was long before pull-ups, so I was using training pants for this task. Once they turned 2, and their accidents were seldom, I took them to buy pretty big girl panties, and made the shopping trip into a big deal. I explained that big girls don't pee in their panties, so they had to remember to go to the potty. Of course there were a few wetting accidents, but neither daughter was happy with having their special big girl panties wet, and training progressed even more after that point.

Re: Potty training

tends2dogs — Mon, 13 Jul 2015 21:16:56 GMT

I wouldn't mention the "potty" again for a couple weeks if it provokes crying. Just don't bring it up. If during that time, she doesn't bring it up, offer it again.

I really feel if it is resulting in crying, you will never have success. It can't be made to be a traumatic event. Every child is different. Take a deep breath and a step back.

This child will no longer be a child before you know it.

Re: Potty training

queendiva — Mon, 13 Jul 2015 21:20:04 GMT

Good advice.

Re: Potty training

YorkieonmyPillow — Mon, 13 Jul 2015 21:27:53 GMT

Are you using the same approach as her parents? If you're not, that might be the problem.

Most info I had on potty training came to the consensus that they potty train themselves, basically, when they are "ready."

Re: Potty training

Mz iMac — Mon, 13 Jul 2015 21:28:11 GMT

Generally girls are easier to potty train than boys. My daughter was potty trained by 18 months. What worked for me was this.....

Every time I used the bathroom I took her w/me. Her potty was right next to the toilet. When I sat, she sat on hers.

GOOD LUCK!

Re: Potty training

Shelbelle — Mon, 13 Jul 2015 21:28:13 GMT

I was a lucky one too, both my son and daughter were trained by their 2nd birthdays, I started training at 22 mos, and they both took to it right away. I think waiting too late to start can sometimes be part of the problem. Does she go to pre school, tell her she cant go to school with other kids until she says bye bye to her diapers.

Re: Potty training

LilacTree — Mon, 13 Jul 2015 21:34:49 GMT

I had four girls in four and a half years which was almost like having quadruplets. I did potty training with two at a time once (the two who were only 14 months apart.) These two trained very quickly.

First I felt it was important for them to see me in the process for a few weeks in advance so that they would not be frightened to sit on the toilet. I always used a potty seat for them that attached to the toilet, not a separate one.

I ran water once they were settled on the potty. This did the trick at least half the time. Several times I poured a little warm water on their lower tummies and that worked too.

It never took more than a few weeks to potty train them before they were two years old. Keep in mind, we did not have Pampers in those days. I used diapers and pull on plastic pants, so they always knew when they were wet and they did not like it. My oldest pulled off her pants the minute she wet them, so she practically trained herself.

I think today's ultra absorbent diapers prohibit early potty training because they don't know they are wet and they are not uncomfortable.

Re: Potty training

Kachina624 — Mon, 13 Jul 2015 22:03:53 GMT

Tends said:
"I wouldn't mention the "potty" again for a couple weeks if it provokes crying. Just don't bring it up. If during that time, she doesn't bring it up, offer it again.

I really feel if it is resulting in crying, you will never have success. It can't be made to be a traumatic event. Every child is different. Take a deep breath and a step back."

I guarantee she'll be trained by the time she's ready for college.

Re: Potty training

terriebear — Mon, 13 Jul 2015 22:23:09 GMT

My daughter was not ready until she was over 4. Each child is different. When her body was ready it was easy. Don't fret the small stuff.

Re: Potty training

ChynnaBlue — Mon, 13 Jul 2015 22:37:07 GMT

Does she need to get out of diapers now? (Some preschools and day cares won't take kids with diapers, so that's a reason to get it taken care of.)

If she needs to be out of diapers, then stop buying them and don't buy pull-ups, only buy regular training pants. Be ready for accidents and crying and deal with them as they come. I used to work at a preschool were we had many kids who wore training pants at school and whose parents put them into diapers and pullups as soon as they got home. (The kids would tell us so.) Those kids who went back and forth always took longer to transition because they had a safety net they didn't need. Those same kids who were in diapers at home never had accidents at school. They could do it if they wanted, they just got held by their parents who either wanted them in diapers or gave in when they cried.

One parent had a son who NEVER had an accident at school but also refused to use the toilet at school. He would pee in a diaper as soon as he got home and mom put one on him. She asked for help one day after she needed to run an errand after school and didn't get a diaper on him. He made a huge scene at the store, then peed his pants because he'd held it all day. We told her to stop using diapers and pull-ups at all because he'd already proven he could control himself without them by not peeing all day long. Then we gave him extra water and juice at snack time. Eventually he had to use the toilet - and he did. We praised him like he was the first man on the moon and after that he never needed a diaper again.

Re: Potty training

jagk — Tue, 14 Jul 2015 03:54:04 GMT

Thanks for the advice.

Re: Potty training

lolakimono — Tue, 14 Jul 2015 12:07:59 GMT

@jagk wrote:
My 3 year old granddaughter will not go on the potty. When I want to get it she cries. I even offered her m&ms if she will sit on it. She says no she wants diapers. Anybody have any advice?

@jagk

First, let me inquire about that good looking cat! Is he/she yours? So pretty!

I don't have any expert advice, but what others have said is correct. There is some incentive for her NOT to use the potty, so you have to figure out what that is. My brother (oldest) was not interested in P/T, but when my mom told him that he couldn't go to school, the very next day he "decided" that he was done with diapers.

Maybe something like a big girl swimsuit, if she likes water activities, would do the trick. My relative had a prima donna ballerina in the making and was reluctant to P/T. Once she saw that she couldn't take dance classes and wear the pretty tutus/leotards, she got interested in the potty. Or she might like new big girl bed sheets. If she doesn't like the kiddy potty, maybe she needs a seat that goes on the big girl potty.

Also, are there siblings? If there is a new baby, she might not want to lose the "baby" status in the family.

Re: Potty training

kitty60 — Tue, 14 Jul 2015 21:06:20 GMT

I agree with someone else who asked how her parents were handling. My dil was trying to potty train at about two. I wasn't there every day but never figured out how she was doing it other than shuffling her to the bathroom on occassion. One weekend when I had her we were out and ran out of diapers, I left her bare bottom underneath her dress and told her "no diaper, TELL ME if you have to go." Worked pretty well from then on out, yes an occassional accident but that can be expected. When she's ready it will happen, sometime we make too big a deal out of it.

Re: Potty training

jagk — Wed, 15 Jul 2015 00:28:06 GMT

The cat in the picture is my cat,his name is Buddy. We just recently found out that he is blind. He has cataracts. He still gets around good being blind.

Re: Potty training

blackhole99 — Thu, 23 Jul 2015 23:37:47 GMT

My son was pretty much trained by the time he was 2 1/2 , although he did have the occassional accident. I must admit I did put a disposable diaper on him when we were out shopping and it did not seem to make a difference in the toilet training. If he did have an accident I would ask him why, and he would say he was too busy playing and didn't want to come inside . He did have an accident in school when he was in the first grade, but nobody made a big deal about it and it never happened again.

Re: Potty training

colliegirls — Fri, 24 Jul 2015 13:56:17 GMT

I have heard such horror stories about potty training over the years. I did not want that stress for myself or my child. At about 2 years of age I bought my child cool underpants and told each of my 4 children to tell me when they are ready to use the potty. I was very nonchalant about it. Two of them told me when they were ready, two had to be encouraged by " lets try it today and see how you like it." That worked. The important thing is for the parent to be calm and relaxed about it. My mother always said "no one goes down the aisle to get married with a bottle, binkie, or diaper on." It will happen in time.

Re: Potty training

Another new name Sue — Mon, 27 Jul 2015 22:42:08 GMT

Back off and don't mention it again for several weeks. If you are using one of those little potties, just let it sit in the bathroom but don't mention it. She'll get there when she's ready.

Re: Potty training

violann — Thu, 30 Jul 2015 18:26:02 GMT

SO happy to see this post! My sons were very bright kids, and trained VERY LATE.

Once trained, they NEVER ONCE had an accident or wet over night.

Calling a dear relative with "the good news" is a nice incentive.

I don't like using M&Ms or other food treats. Just my own thing about sweets.

IMO the most important thing is to keep the training a TOTALLY happy and positive experience. My big grown up boys still laugh about how much fun it was when we did it. If DGD is distressed, nothing will make the process positive.

Another thought- NO PULL UPS EVER!!!!! Whether they light up or change colors or sing songs or whatever, DON'T get sucked into using them. If they are at all absorbent (and they are!) they will delay the process instead of encouraging the child.

NO Pampers have ever been Packed for Princeton.!!!

Re: Potty training

sfnative — Thu, 30 Jul 2015 19:13:18 GMT

@LilacTree wrote:
I had four girls in four and a half years which was almost like having quadruplets. I did potty training with two at a time once (the two who were only 14 months apart.) These two trained very quickly.

First I felt it was important for them to see me in the process for a few weeks in advance so that they would not be frightened to sit on the toilet. I always used a potty seat for them that attached to the toilet, not a separate one.

I ran water once they were settled on the potty. This did the trick at least half the time. Several times I poured a little warm water on their lower tummies and that worked too.

It never took more than a few weeks to potty train them before they were two years old. Keep in mind, we did not have Pampers in those days. I used diapers and pull on plastic pants, so they always knew when they were wet and they did not like it. My oldest pulled off her pants the minute she wet them, so she practically trained herself.

I think today's ultra absorbent diapers prohibit early potty training because they don't know they are wet and they are not uncomfortable.

I agree with what Ford has said and might even go so far as to suggest that she be allowed to sit on the real toilet with a snap on seat for your grandchild while viewing a tablet. Our granddaughter is in the process of training at 22 mos old and LOVES the "Nina has to go" little cartoons. Nina is always at a venue of some sort and doesn't want to go before beginning the fun, but all of a sudden, "Nina has to go!" The word "potty" is never mentioned. If you're able, you might take a look at a few of these Nina cartoons.

Good Luck!