topic Re: Letter from a Mom to her Daughter in Mom to Mom

Letter from a Mom to her Daughter

beach-mom — Tue, 30 Sep 2014 18:47:46 GMT

From ABC - This is powerful :

Letter from a Mother to her Daughter:

My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through.

If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago”… Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story… night after night until you would fall asleep.

When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl?

When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way… remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day…

The day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through.

If I occasionally lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you.

And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked.

When those days come, don’t feel sad… just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love. I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared.

With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you… my darling daughter.

Original Text in Spanish and Photo by Guillermo Peña.
Translation to English by Sergio Cadena

Re: Letter from a Mom to her Daughter

CANDLEQUEEN — Tue, 30 Sep 2014 18:54:13 GMT

I am reading this through tears-its beautiful! Thank-you for posting!!!!!!!!!

Re: Letter from a Mom to her Daughter

beach-mom — Tue, 30 Sep 2014 19:02:20 GMT

On 9/30/2014 JMFINLEY001 said:
I am reading this through tears-its beautiful! Thank-you for posting!!!!!!!!!

YW! My mom's been gone a while now, but I remember losing patience with her sometimes, and she really wasn't that old when she died. I wish now I'd had more patience. She had trouble walking sometimes, but get her to a mall to shop and her legs went faster than mine!

As for me, the technology part applies. I know my own kids lose patience when they're trying to show me something. Usually they just do it themselves. I keep telling them, "Show me HOW to do it; don't do it for me!"

Re: Letter from a Mom to her Daughter

I am still oxox — Tue, 30 Sep 2014 19:02:38 GMT

Going thru major aging issues with my Mom this could not of come at a more perfect time, I too am wiping away the tears as I read it

Re: Letter from a Mom to her Daughter

Luvtoshopathome — Tue, 30 Sep 2014 19:51:47 GMT

I too am moved to tears because I'm experiencing the same thing with my mom. We sometimes forget how much our mothers did for us and the sacrifices they made. Thanks so much for posting this. Did you get this from a certain site on the Internet?

Re: Letter from a Mom to her Daughter

corismom1 — Tue, 30 Sep 2014 20:06:39 GMT

I am the aging one! I am often perplexed by new technology, don't have an iphone when my flip phone is just fine. I don't text but will call whenever. I know that displeases my children but I really don't have the interest in texting. I would rather hear their voices and I don't need a photo of their latest meal or purchase. I am good with my laptop and e-mail. I get lovely photos of the track meet or soccer game. I have trouble getting to my phone in time and if it is not next to me, I get to hear my voice mail. I am not complaining and I do hope that my daughters will continue to have the patience with me as I age. The alternative is worse!

Re: Letter from a Mom to her Daughter

imashopper — Tue, 30 Sep 2014 21:09:02 GMT

Wow, perfect timing. My mom is aging and I find myself getting a bit frustrated now and then....but then I remember that I can only WISH that my dad was still here for me to go through this with him. I'll take the forgetfulness, slower pace, and explaining the technology over and over again just to still have her here.

While my mom doesn't repeat herself much, I do remember the story she's told many times about her and her own grandmother. Her grandmother lived with them when my mom was a child and she used to get aggravated that her grandma told her the same thing time and time again. In response to that, her own mom (confusing, I know!) asked her what difference it made if her grandma asked her twenty different questions or the same question twenty times....no difference at all, she just wanted to talk. I try to remind myself of this as the elders in the family tell me the same thing...again... Someday I'll wish they were here to ask me that same darned question again.

Re: Letter from a Mom to her Daughter

LilacTree — Tue, 30 Sep 2014 21:18:58 GMT

I'm sorry, but if I sent this letter to any of my loving daughters, they'd think I had lost it for sure.

(I mean no insult to those of you who found it moving.)

Re: Letter from a Mom to her Daughter

luvdoodles — Wed, 01 Oct 2014 11:49:27 GMT

I loved this letter. I am saving it. Not appropriate for me right now, but someday I may send it to my daughter when the time comes. Hope I will remember I have it. Thanks for sharing.

Re: Letter from a Mom to her Daughter

Boehm Collector — Wed, 01 Oct 2014 13:21:46 GMT

Today, October 1st, is the fifth anniversary of my Mom's passing. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her and miss her. Reading this letter really made me cry. I was Mom's caregiver for over 10 years. The last year of her life she lived with my DH and I. There were times that I lost my patience with her. But I did my best to lovingly do as much as possible for her. She often used to thank me for all I did.... and my response was always "Mom. when I was growing up you took care of me. You never once complained. Now it's my turn to take care of you..and I do so with all my heart."

Re: Letter from a Mom to her Daughter

LilacTree — Wed, 01 Oct 2014 16:58:20 GMT

On 10/1/2014 Boehm Collecter said:
Today, October 1st, is the fifth anniversary of my Mom's passing. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her and miss her. Reading this letter really made me cry. I was Mom's caregiver for over 10 years. The last year of her life she lived with my DH and I. There were times that I lost my patience with her. But I did my best to lovingly do as much as possible for her. She often used to thank me for all I did.... and my response was always "Mom. when I was growing up you took care of me. You never once complained. Now it's my turn to take care of you..and I do so with all my heart."

OT . . . I used to work for the CPAs that had Helen's account, Ernst & Ernst in Philly. She was like the Queen of Sheba there. Is that the same Boehm referred to in your nic?

Re: Letter from a Mom to her Daughter

aprilskies — Wed, 01 Oct 2014 17:14:36 GMT

Thank you posting this. I am not as patient with my mom as I should be and realize this, but it is hard to always remember. This was a great reminder. Thanks.

Re: Letter from a Mom to her Daughter

corita — Wed, 01 Oct 2014 17:21:40 GMT

This letter really touched me!! With back and knee pain, I now move more slowly and cautiously. I am not that much into technology and yes, it sometimes throws me off. I still use a flip phone -- just do not see the need to text. The computer sometimes fights me, so I do need someone to teach me how to "fix" it. I have found myself retelling the same "stories" a couple of times over. Yikes, I am that MOM described in the letter - will keep for future use!

Re: Letter from a Mom to her Daughter

ANewHue — Wed, 01 Oct 2014 17:29:58 GMT

Beach-mom, I am reading this through my tears too, this is beautiful and thanks so much for posting. I am keeping this so when and if age catches up with me I will hand this to my DD.

Re: Letter from a Mom to her Daughter

Boehm Collector — Thu, 02 Oct 2014 13:29:49 GMT

On 10/1/2014 Ford1224 said:
On 10/1/2014 Boehm Collecter said:
Today, October 1st, is the fifth anniversary of my Mom's passing. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her and miss her. Reading this letter really made me cry. I was Mom's caregiver for over 10 years. The last year of her life she lived with my DH and I. There were times that I lost my patience with her. But I did my best to lovingly do as much as possible for her. She often used to thank me for all I did.... and my response was always "Mom. when I was growing up you took care of me. You never once complained. Now it's my turn to take care of you..and I do so with all my heart."

OT . . . I used to work for the CPAs that had Helen's account, Ernst & Ernst in Philly. She was like the Queen of Sheba there. Is that the same Boehm referred to in your nic?

Ford 1224 .... yes, Helen Boehm used to own the Boehm Porcelain Studio in Trenton, NJ. I believe she started it with her husband Edward Marshall Boehm in 1950. I personally met Helen a few years prior to her death at the studio. She was a lovely woman. She spent a lot of time speaking to my Mom in Italian. I have been collecting Boehm Porcelain since my Dad purchased my first piece back in the 1970's.

Re: Letter from a Mom to her Daughter

LilacTree — Thu, 02 Oct 2014 15:38:58 GMT

On 10/2/2014 Boehm Collecter said:
On 10/1/2014 Ford1224 said:
On 10/1/2014 Boehm Collecter said:
Today, October 1st, is the fifth anniversary of my Mom's passing. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her and miss her. Reading this letter really made me cry. I was Mom's caregiver for over 10 years. The last year of her life she lived with my DH and I. There were times that I lost my patience with her. But I did my best to lovingly do as much as possible for her. She often used to thank me for all I did.... and my response was always "Mom. when I was growing up you took care of me. You never once complained. Now it's my turn to take care of you..and I do so with all my heart."

OT . . . I used to work for the CPAs that had Helen's account, Ernst & Ernst in Philly. She was like the Queen of Sheba there. Is that the same Boehm referred to in your nic?

Ford 1224 .... yes, Helen Boehm used to own the Boehm Porcelain Studio in Trenton, NJ. I believe she started it with her husband Edward Marshall Boehm in 1950. I personally met Helen a few years prior to her death at the studio. She was a lovely woman. She spent a lot of time speaking to my Mom in Italian. I have been collecting Boehm Porcelain since my Dad purchased my first piece back in the 1970's.

I had a friend who had many of her lovely pieces because her husband was a partner there. This goes way back to the late 70s. I remember seeing her from a long distance just once and thought she looked like Queen Elizabeth (at that time, not now). I never did meet her though, I didn't work there long. Obviously, you knew her quite well.

It's a small world, isn't it?

Re: Letter from a Mom to her Daughter

MomCat — Thu, 02 Oct 2014 17:02:19 GMT

On 9/30/2014 Ford1224 said:
I'm sorry, but if I sent this letter to any of my loving daughters, they'd think I had lost it for sure.

(I mean no insult to those of you who found it moving.)

ITA! So, this mother is saying that she wants her daughter to be patient as she acts like a toddler? Give me a break. The comparison is insulting. If you raise your daughter to be compassionate, she will look at you with respect. After going thru years of helping my elderly parents I never once made them feel like a burden. Not once! I am proud of that, and neither one of them had to remind me to be patient and kind. I read this piece with disgust. Not tears. Sorry, for the rant, but this rubbed me the wrong way. I miss my parents, and would happily continue helping them get thru their day. It was an honor.

Re: Letter from a Mom to her Daughter

Irish1210 — Thu, 02 Oct 2014 18:14:13 GMT

Crying...............

Re: Letter from a Mom to her Daughter

SisterSisto — Thu, 02 Oct 2014 18:15:03 GMT

I am also the aging one here. I am now experiencing things with my daughter (only child) that I never thought would happen. I thought I had raised my daughter to be compassionate and caring. She saw me take care of my parents and it wasn't an easy job as I had to fly in and out of the state to go take care of them the best that I could. I loved my parents and it hurt to see what time and age did to them.

The letter to daughter struck a cord in me and while I didn't agree with all of it, it spoke to me. I just wish my daughter had the patience to just listen. I am not asking her for advice or for her help but to just listen. Well, it's come to the point that I won't let her know what's going on with me and as far as I'm concerned, everything will be great in my life.

I never ask for help or her time and the few times I've expressed a desire to see the grandchildren, there's always an excuse of them being too busy, the last time was my daughter was too busy going out to get a pedicure. I asked if I could come by to see the kids for a short visit while passing through her town but the pedicure won out. I'm always available to take the kids when she wants a week-end away from them or if her and her husband want to go on vacation.

Oh well, it is what it is and there's no easy answer. I will just keep to myself my thoughts and continue to smile and try to not irritate my daughter.

Re: Letter from a Mom to her Daughter

Luvtoshopathome — Fri, 03 Oct 2014 08:08:08 GMT

On 10/2/2014 momcat said:
On 9/30/2014 Ford1224 said:
I'm sorry, but if I sent this letter to any of my loving daughters, they'd think I had lost it for sure.

(I mean no insult to those of you who found it moving.)

ITA! So, this mother is saying that she wants her daughter to be patient as she acts like a toddler? Give me a break. The comparison is insulting. If you raise your daughter to be compassionate, she will look at you with respect. After going thru years of helping my elderly parents I never once made them feel like a burden. Not once! I am proud of that, and neither one of them had to remind me to be patient and kind. I read this piece with disgust. Not tears. Sorry, for the rant, but this rubbed me the wrong way. I miss my parents, and would happily continue helping them get thru their day. It was an honor.

It rubbed you the wrong way? Sorry but that's unbelievable to me. Well you should excuse those of us with soft hearts and have emotions when we read something like this. It's really too bad that it disgusted you so I guess you deserve a medal because you insinuate in so many words that you were the perfect daughter. Your post was insulting to those of us who are experiencing this with our mothers, but I don't think one post said that they they were disgusted or their mothers were a burden on them, or they didn't take care of their mothers. I sometimes tell my mom that she's told me whatever before but I have never disrespected her and she is in no way a burden to me. She lives downstairs in our house and I'm always going down to see her and call her several times a day even though my sister lives with her. I pray for her and her health every night. So I guess I can say I read your post with disgust but it wouldn't be very respectable.