topic Re: My granddaughter ..please help... in Mom to Mom

My granddaughter ..please help...

Magga1234 — Sun, 04 Aug 2019 01:01:08 GMT

I have a 5 year old granddaugther who basically ignores me when I come to visit or when i meet see her at a family gathering. If time allows, I usually manage to win her over and we have fun together. She is a smart, happy little girl, an only child just out of preschool and soon to be in kindergarten. My daughter and soninlaw have told her that she is being unkind and that her behaviour is unacceptable but not much changes. Are they being to easy on her or am I being to sensitive? I appreciate your thoughts...Thanks...

Re: My granddaughter ..please help...

mom2four0418 — Sun, 04 Aug 2019 01:04:39 GMT

@Magga1234 wrote:
I have a 5 year old granddaugther who basically ignores me when I come to visit or when i meet see her at a family gathering. If time allows, I usually manage to win her over and we have fun together. She is a smart, happy little girl, an only child just out of preschool and soon to be in kindergarten. My daughter and soninlaw have told her that she is being unkind and that her behaviour is unacceptable but not much changes. Are they being to easy on her or am I being to sensitive? I appreciate your thoughts...Thanks...

What else would you like them to say or do to her?

Re: My granddaughter ..please help...

RetRN — Sun, 04 Aug 2019 01:08:32 GMT

The parents need to do a better job. You don't allow your child to ignore people who are friends or family.

Re: My granddaughter ..please help...

Leggett28 — Sun, 04 Aug 2019 01:11:52 GMT

@mom2four0418 wrote:
@Magga1234 wrote:
I have a 5 year old granddaugther who basically ignores me when I come to visit or when i meet see her at a family gathering. If time allows, I usually manage to win her over and we have fun together. She is a smart, happy little girl, an only child just out of preschool and soon to be in kindergarten. My daughter and soninlaw have told her that she is being unkind and that her behaviour is unacceptable but not much changes. Are they being to easy on her or am I being to sensitive? I appreciate your thoughts...Thanks...
What else would you like them to say or do to her?

Well you were a big help.

Re: My granddaughter ..please help...

blackhole99 — Sun, 04 Aug 2019 01:17:13 GMT

I think she's just too immature to be held responsible for her not wanting to socialize with you. I think if her parents force it she will just double down and be even more petulant. Give her some time and space and I bet she will come around.

Re: My granddaughter ..please help...

GCR18 — Sun, 04 Aug 2019 01:18:03 GMT

Can you spend more 1:1 time with her? Take her out for an ice cream or to the park. If she's always been this way, it's time to turn it around. If it's a new behavior, can you remember what was happening at the time. It sounds like the parents agree with you. I think though you should break the ice and find more opportunities to be with her alone.

Re: My granddaughter ..please help...

alicedee — Sun, 04 Aug 2019 01:20:24 GMT

I’m a bit confused about what you mean about her “ignoring” you.

Does she not respond when you say hello, stiffen up when you hug her, not answer your questions?

What is it that you want her to do? Have you verbalized that to her?

How often do you see her? Maybe as an only child she is uncomfortable in situations with gatherings bigger than what she is used to?

Re: My granddaughter ..please help...

D Kay — Sun, 04 Aug 2019 01:20:28 GMT

What can they do? Force her to act a certain way? The fact that she has already been reprimanded probably makes her resentful. I think the whole thing will blow over. She's only 5.

Re: My granddaughter ..please help...

CAcableGirl2 — Sun, 04 Aug 2019 01:31:55 GMT

@Magga1234 Don't give up, she is only 5 years old and has already been reprimanded about her behavior, which now may cause her to be hesitant to be overly engaged with you.

As she gets older, she will come around. Plan some fun days for her and before too long, she'll be begging to spend time with her Grandmother.

Maybe the next time you are around her, you can have a casual family or group picture taken (while she is having fun) and her parents can hang it in her room so she can remember the fun she had with her family (and Grandma).

Just a suggestion....If she loves Minnie Mouse (like mine does), have them put the picture in some sort of Minnie Mouse picture frame so she'll look at it often.

Re: My granddaughter ..please help...

Skyegirl21 — Sun, 04 Aug 2019 01:45:19 GMT

It’s hard, I get it. My son at first was frightened of my sweet, kind MIL. But she won him over! Try to engage her with different things. Ya never know... something might light her up! If not dolls, try LEGO’s, animals, crafts, you get it. Don’t push too hard about her behavior, some people are just introverts.

Re: My granddaughter ..please help...

Sis Phillips — Sun, 04 Aug 2019 01:46:01 GMT

Take her a little present. That is what I do and my grandkids love me and are excited to see me. You should know by now what she loves . I also babysit them when the parents need to go out that has been a good way to get to know them.

Re: My granddaughter ..please help...

SXMGirl — Sun, 04 Aug 2019 01:50:36 GMT

@Magga1234 Ask her why she doesn't seem to want to spend time with you.

Re: My granddaughter ..please help...

QVCkitty1 — Sun, 04 Aug 2019 02:00:16 GMT

I was a shy little girl and I can tell you sometimes having people forced on me was torture. Of course she shouldn’t be rude or disrespectful, but beyond that .i don’t know what you want her parents to do. We like who we like, and you did say you have had good times with her. My advice is don’t try and force it. Just another perspective .

Re: My granddaughter ..please help...

Annabellethecat66 — Sun, 04 Aug 2019 02:07:39 GMT

My youngest grandson is always playing with his toys when I come over. He is now 7.

I started sending him little super hero books, etc in the mail. Kids don’t get mail and it’s a big deal.

I also make a point of taking him his beloved French fries and we all have lunch at his house.

My daughter has always called all of her children to “ come to say goodbye to grandma”.

The child’s family can initiate some time of easy one on one like “ show grandma a picture you made”. Things like that.

When you send some little things in the mail, tell her parents to have her do a picture “ thank you” for the next time you come.

My family sends each other thank you notes all of the time. From the time the child is born ( mom does scribbles) a thank you note is mailed out. I thought my girls that, now they do it and their children ( some are teenagers) do that.

Make it so there’s something special that just you and the child shares.

You need to work for the affection for a child that young. But when you get it, it’s genuine and one of the purest kind of love. There is.

Just try some of what I suggested. Please come back in about 1 month and let us know how it’s going.

Dont give up. You are already a great grandma just by showing you care enough to try.

If I knew you, I’d give you one on my chubby hugs. Take care.

Re: My granddaughter ..please help...

stevieb — Sun, 04 Aug 2019 02:17:19 GMT

She's an only child and perhaps as such it takes her longer to warm up to people... She's probably a bit of a loner... Reprimanding her is not the answer... She'll perhaps become more social as she gets older and becomes more familiar with you... Making her feel badly because of what is probably a natural wariness is only going to push her further away... I'm sure you want a special bond with your granddaughter, but you also have to remember, it isn't all about you, and I say that without rancor, it's just reality...

Re: My granddaughter ..please help...

Foxxee — Sun, 04 Aug 2019 02:25:32 GMT

How does she react to other people? If she reacts differently, very friendly, maybe you are trying too hard.

When I was five, my grandmothers didn't play with me, nor did I want them to.

I have a nephew who at this age always wanted to play games with me. He'd run up to me as soon as I walked in the door. His brother a year younger did not. He wanted to do his own thing. Different personalities. One was very social. The other, a loner. I'd say hello to the loner and he'd ignore me. I'd say it a few times louder. Eventually, said Hi, but that was it. I didn't take it personally. As adults, they are the same, one very social, the other a loner.

Without more information, it's difficult to say if there is a problem in your situation.

Re: My granddaughter ..please help...

phoenixbrd — Sun, 04 Aug 2019 02:32:35 GMT

@Annabellethecat66 What a great granny! You remind me, when I was a child after opening Christmas presents we sat around the table and wrote Thank You notes....no choice it was expected.

Re: My granddaughter ..please help...

icezeus — Sun, 04 Aug 2019 02:44:07 GMT

Although, her behavior is hurtful at the end of the day she is only five years old. She is the child you are the adult.

Give her time.

Re: My granddaughter ..please help...

January121 — Sun, 04 Aug 2019 03:11:13 GMT

The next time you see her I would completely ignore her ... don’t even make eye contact ..... mark my words she will be completely confused as to why you are doing this & she will seek you out for attention ... good luck!!😃

Re: My granddaughter ..please help...

K9buddy — Sun, 04 Aug 2019 03:14:10 GMT

Take her out to lunch or for an ice cream or a toy store. Just the two of you. She’ll have no choice but to pay attention to you. I think that attention will translate to other situations.